It took Severus a moment to figure out where he was when he woke the next morning. His back felt marginally better, though his nose still throbbed like anything. From downstairs drifted the tantalizing smell of breakfast. Rolling over he was surprised to see Lily sleeping in the other twin bed. He didn't want to wake her, she looked so peaceful, and so he tried to be as quiet as possible when getting out of the bed. But the instant his feet touched the ground Lily's eyes popped open, for a spilt second he thought he saw tears welling in them but before he could be certain the look was gone, and all that was left was a beaming smile.

"Happy Christmas, Sev."

"Happy Christmas. What are you…?"

"Mum said you had an accident, so I wanted to be here, in case you needed anything. I figure I owe you after all the hours you've spent by my bedside when I'm sick. Alice told me it was no picnic."

"You're fine."

Lily knew her mother had said the night before Severus didn't want to talk about what had happened but she had to see what he would say. "What happened to you?"

"I fell and hit my head on the kitchen table. It was stupid."

"Sev," she said his name in the same tone her mother had the night before and he knew that like Violet, Lily didn't believe him.

"I – I don't want to talk about it."

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't have any more secrets from each other."

Merlin he hated that promise. He couldn't tell her this. "Lily, I can't talk about it. I just can't. But when I'm ready, you'll be the first person I talk to – Lil, please, I'm asking you, as a favour, to let this go for now."

Lily didn't want to. She wanted to know the truth of what went on in his house, but Severus never asked her for favours so she knew she would give in. "Alright, but I'm here if you change your mind."

"I'll remember that."

"Good," she looked at him solemnly for a moment before smiling again. "Come on, mum always makes a really great breakfast Christmas morning."

"I should go home. I just need to get my clothes back from Violet."

"Why does mum have your clothes?"

"My nose was bleeding and she said she'd wash them for me."

Lily laughed brightly. "Then you, my friend, are staying for breakfast. Because if you think mum is going to give you back those clothes before stuffing you full you aren't half as smart as I thought you were." With a bounce she jumped up from the bed and grabbed his hand. "Besides our stockings will be filled and we get to have those before breakfast."

He could hardly keep up as Lily raced down the hall. Once they reached the stairs she looked at him and smiled, "Christmas tradition."

He had no idea what she was talking about, until, to his surprise, she slid down the banister and landed neatly in the entrance. Severus hoped Lily didn't expect him to do such a thing. After a quick glance at the banister he walked down the stairs with as much dignity as possible given the state of his back.

"You are so like Tuney sometimes."

Severus sputtered; he didn't want to be anything like Petunia Evans. Would his back be able to handle it if he went back up and slid down the wretched thing? Doubtful. "Lil, I hurt my back last night as well so I think sliding down a banister is out of the question."

Lily remembered the state of his back and nodded, clutching his arm and hugging it. "Next year then."

"We'll see. I'm not sure I'm good at sliding down anything."

"Says the boy who used to slide off a sofa with his gram."

"I was very young then."

Lily laughed, a bright tinkling sound, perfect for the holiday. "We're still young, Sev. Oh come on, let's go see what Father Christmas brought us."

Her enthusiasm was infectious and he couldn't help but smile. It could be fun to watch her pull her presents from Father Christmas from a stocking. So he crossed to the kitchen, trailing her by several steps. When he entered he saw Violet standing at the stove dressed in a bright red dressing gown.

"Happy Christmas, Mum!" Lily rushed to her mother's side and planted a large kiss on her cheek.

"Happy Christmas, Lily, Severus."

"Happy Christmas, Violet."

"Mum, where's Sev sitting?" Lily asked looking at a table that already seemed overflowing.

"His name is at his spot."

Lily walked around the table, looking at the stockings hung on the back of the chairs. There seemed to be far more then there were people here. After a moment she picked one up and handed it to him. "Here, this one's yours."

He tried not to act as thrown as he felt. He had a stocking?

"Severus, there's some aspirin at your place. I also want you to put some ice on that eye."

"It's fine now. It doesn't hurt at all."

Violet turned from the stove and walked over to him, pulling out a chair for him to sit on. She gently took his face in her hand and turned it up to hers. Her eyes scanned him critically. "How about you take the aspirin and we'll see how you feel after breakfast, alright?"

"Alright." He took up the pills from his spot and swallowed them down with a gulp of orange juice.

Lily plopped down in the seat next to his. "You can't eat anything else or take anything out of your stocking until Tuney comes. That's the Evans' family rule. And of course Tuney's as slow as anything. Sometimes I think she does it for spite." Lily sighed and looked wistfully at the stocking in her lap and then across to her father's spot.

"I wish you could have spent Christmas with us when dad was here. It was always his favourite holiday and he went so overboard." Lily's eyes started to well and he reached out and took her hand in his.

"I'm sure he wishes he was here too."

She smiled tearily at him. "At least I have you."

He was about to tell her that she would always have him when the door swung open and Petunia walked in. She had clearly been crying, as her eyes were red and puffy. She looked across the room to where Severus sat and took in his appearance in a heartbeat. To be fair, for once, she didn't look angry or put out by his presence indeed he though he saw a fleeting glimpse of compassion.

"Good morning, Happy Christmas, Mum, Lily – Severus."

"Happy Christmas," chorused Lily and Violet. Severus was too shocked to say anything.

Petunia pulled her stocking from the back of her chair and sat down. Violet hurried over and set a dish of fruit on the table. She sat down, looked at the three children and nodded. "Let the fun begin."

That seemed to be the cue to dig into the stockings. Lily and Petunia enthusiastically rummaged through theirs, pulling out all sorts of odds and ends, everything from toiletries to earrings to candy. After a moment Severus began to take things out of his, piling them next to his plate. Like the girls, his stocking contained little things, toiletries and candy and even a small copy of Ivanhoe.

"You don't have that do you?" Violet asked.

Severus shook his head. Having finally reached the bottom he pulled out a wrapped box and started to pull the paper from it only to be stopped by Lily's hand on his. "You have to wait until tomorrow for that one."

"Why?"

"May and Cris need to be here."

He was puzzled, but put the box next to his other gifts. After the stockings were emptied they piled their plates full and ate until each and every one of them declared they would never eat again. Lily even went so far as to announce she wasn't even sure she could move. There were murmurs of agreement and no one moved until the phone rang and Petunia excused herself to go answer it, stating it was most likely Vernon.

With a sigh, Violet folded her napkin and placed it next to her plate. "Severus, I'll get your clothes and once you've changed I'll take you home. If you want, you can leave your gifts here and take everything with you tomorrow."

Severus nodded and watched as Violet left the table. Next to him he could feel Lily tense and knew she was upset. "Lil, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"Yes. Nothing could stop me."

"I just – I don't want you to – I wish you didn't have to leave."

"But I do."

She nodded, trying to keep him from seeing the tears in her eyes. Who knew what would happen to Severus in that place. Maybe his parents would kill him, maybe she would never see him again. A strange sort of sick longing surged through her. She wanted to run to her mum and beg her to let Severus stay, he would be of age in a fortnight, then he could do whatever he wanted. Would those wretched people really miss him between now and then?

Under the table he grasped her hand and squeezed "I'll be fine, Lily. You have to trust me."

"It's not you I'm worried about."

"It was an accident."

"Sev, don't!" she snapped. She could see the shock on his face. "If you don't want to tell me what's happening that's your choice, just don't lie to me."

Severus was saved from trying to figure out what to say by Violet's entrance. "Here you are. It looks like all the blood came out except one spot on the cuff of the shirt."

"Thank you, Violet."

"I'll meet you back downstairs in a half hour. Is that enough time for you?"

"More than enough." Taking the clothes he made his way upstairs and into the guestroom. He slowly changed out of the pyjamas and into his freshly cleaned and pressed clothes. Even the house elves at school didn't do this good of a job. Once he was done, he sat on the bed until the half hour was up, constantly expecting Lily to knock on the door. He didn't know if he should be upset that she didn't come or not.

He walked down the hall and stairs at a snail's pace. He really didn't want to leave, this had been the best Christmas morning he had had since his gram had died and if she was here it would have been as close to perfect as he could ever hope for. Entering the lounge, he saw Violet sitting in her chair reading, Petunia was giggling rather loudly on the phone, while Lily stood staring out the front window. For the first time, he noticed the massive amount of presents that had appeared seemingly overnight. It was agony to see the perfect family picture in front of him, he had to leave now, before he couldn't.

"I'm ready Violet, but you don't have to drive me, I can walk."

She threw him an irritated look and he knew he had about as much chance of winning a dispute with her as with her daughter. She said nothing, merely picked up her bag and keys from the table next to her and headed towards the door.

"Goodbye. Happy Christmas, Lily." She didn't answer or even turn to look at him and his heart began to ache. "Petunia." He nodded in her direction and she raised a hand in return.

Miserable, he walked out of the door and climbed into the car. His distress must have shown because Violet said gently, "Lily's not upset with you. She's angry at the situation."

Severus nodded, he wasn't so sure Violet was right. He couldn't understand why he and Lily still rowed. He didn't want to, never wanted to and he had thought once she had forgiven him and he had explained everything they would never fight again. But now they had had two disagreements in slightly more than a week. So on top of everything else he had to figure out where he kept going wrong and how to keep it from happening again, because it would be a cold, cold day in hell before he let them end up like his parents.

Violet turned onto Spinner's End and looking down the street he instantly knew things were worse than he had imagined. He could hardly hold back the groan. Today was going to be horrible.

"Severus, is that your trunk?"

"Yes."

"What in the world?"

"My father must be home and he's –" he shook his head and muttered under his breath. "Guess we're playing this game again."

Violet honestly had to have ears like a fox because as softly as he had spoken, she had heard and replied, "I think you had better explain to me what game you're playing."

There was no way around it, no way to make this into something other than what it was. "He's thrown me out."

With a sigh he climbed out of the car. He had two options, he could either pound on the door until his mother opened it and beg his father to let him back in or he could initiate his own emergency plan. He looked down at the trunk and debated. If he had his wand then he might risk the plan. He lifted the battered black lid and dug through the jumbled up contents.

"Severus, put your trunk in the car and I'll take you home."

"He'll let me in eventually, he always does," he replied dismissively still looking for his wand in the mess.

"Well, you can just wait at our house then. I will not have you sitting on your front doorstep on Christmas day. Severus, in the car, now!"

He jumped; he had never heard Violet sound so commanding. "I can't, my wand."

"You can get it later. Or I'll buy you a new one."

"I have to have that one. I have a way to get in. Could you – could you maybe store my trunk and I'll get it from you when Lily and I go back to school?"

"No. I have been very understanding up until this point but this really does cross the line. You can go in and get your wand but that's it. You have ten minutes to be back in this spot or I will come in there and get you. If you think I will let you put yourself in harm's way or see my daughter's Christmas ruined because the boy she l – is best friends with doesn't turn up, then you have another thing coming to you, young man. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"

Severus could only nod, he didn't think he had ever been so intimidated. Dumbledore should recruit Violet Evans and have her yell at You-Know-Who, the war would be over in an instant.

"I suggest you go because I'm starting to count right now."

Severus scurried around to the back of the house. Instead of entering his garden he snuck quietly into the neighbour's. They had a rather convenient trellis running up the back of their house and then several bricks that made good hand holes. He began to climb very carefully, the trellis was rather rickety and it had been many years since he had done this. Having reached the end of the framework he began to feel above him for the first brick, his back was beginning to hurt again and if he didn't need his wand so desperately he wouldn't even bother to continue to attempt this.

The last time this had happened he had spent five nights sleeping in the spot before Eileen had talked Tobias into letting his son back in. Who knew how long it would take this time and he had to return to school in slightly over a week. Once he reached the roof he pulled himself up, trying to remember if the loose tile was on the left or right. Whichever it was, he thankfully missed it. He swiftly crossed from the roof of the neighbour's house and onto his. Once he was to the far corner he grasped the drainpipe and edged his way off the roof. Severus could only pray his window was still unlatched otherwise he would have done all this for nothing. He clasped the drainpipe a little harder and pushed experimentally against the window. It slid up smoothly and he gratefully clambered in to his room.

Surprisingly, it wasn't the least bit messy. Clearly his mother had been the one to pack his trunk. He didn't know if that made him more or less angry. He rummaged through the new desk until he found his wand in the bottom drawer, just where he had left it. Then he kneeled under the bed and pulled his gifts out since it seemed unlikely he would be back tonight, and stuffed them into the case he took from his pillow. Then he lifted the plank, took out all the money he had hidden there and stared down at the rest of the items. Should he clear them out or not? He hated the idea of taking his personal things to school, but if by some chance his father didn't let him back in he didn't want to lose them either. He glanced at the clock, his ten minutes were almost up, he had to make a decision fast. He had no doubt if he wasn't out of this room and back on the street soon then Violet would start banging on the front door or worse. His father's heavy tread on the stairs made up his mind for him, he grabbed the jar containing his grandmother's ashes, her engagement ring and the black box holding Lily's cameo and stuffed them in the case, the rest he would have to sacrifice. He looked longingly down at the notes Lily had written, the wrap all his gifts had come in, each and every tiny thing that she had ever given him. Somewhere in there were locks of his grandparent's hair and a few strands of Lily's. He couldn't leave them, his hand reached for the contents, he would take it all and then they could burn this place to the ground for all he cared.

"Where the hell is that damn draft coming from?" drawled Tobias. "Eileen, get your arse up here now and find it."

Severus' hand shot back out of the hole. He didn't have time for this. He hastily shoved the plank back in place, rose from the floor and tied the case to his belt loop.

"If that brat is here…"

He had to get out. His father was obviously still furious.

"Tobias, be sensible, how would he get in?"

"I don't know what kind of strange things that kid can do."

Severus scrambled out the window and slid the glass shut seconds before the door opened and his mother said, "see, no one's here."

He knew he was safe, his mother wouldn't bother to look out the window. Leaning his head against the drainpipe he gave a little sigh of relief before sliding his way to the ground. Once there, he grabbed the trunk and stuffed it and himself into the car. Violet slid into the driver's seat. She said nothing until they had turned off Spinner's End. "Don't you ever, ever let me catch you doing something like that again, Severus Snape! You about scared the life out of me."

"Sorry," he whispered contritely.

"I don't want to hear you're sorry! What were you thinking, walking across roofs and climbing in windows like that?!"

"I – I – It was the only way to get my wand."

"I don't care! You could have killed yourself! And if you don't care about yourself then maybe you should think about the people who love you! I will not – WILL NOT bury someone else I love this year! Do you hear me?"

Severus didn't know what had surprised him more, the fact that Violet was screaming at him or that she had said she – maybe he had heard wrong. All he could do was croak, "you love me?"

Instantly the car swerved off to the side of the street and Violet threw the gear into park. "Severus, of course we love you. You're like our son. I thought you knew that."

He shook his head violently. I will not cry, I will not cry.

"Severus," Violet took him in her arms. The combination of her gentle embrace and the smell of vanilla drifting off of her was all it took, he broke down and sobbed. It was as if the flood gates had opened, all the things he had told his gram he now told her, about his parents and the constant arguments, all the broken bones and bruises, about Lucius Malfoy and the Death Eaters, how he was picked on at school, the only thing he held back was how desperately in love with Lily he was. The whole time she smoothed his hair and kissed his forehead, just like his gram use to when he was upset. Somehow that only made things worse and he cried harder.

"Severus, shh. Shh, you have to calm down. You're going to make yourself sick. Everything's going to be fine. I'll work something out. You never have to go back there if you don't want to."

Severus tried to calm himself, he couldn't believe he had lost control so badly. He never cried like that, not in front of other people. He pulled back from her and briskly wiped the tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that."

Her hand reached out and tucked his hair behind his ears. "I think you've probably needed to do that for a long time now. You shouldn't keep things bottled up the way you do, it isn't healthy. If you're not careful you'll end in giving yourself ulcers."

"Violet, please don't tell anyone what I said. I shouldn't have…"

"You can say anything you want to me, Severus. That's what I'm here for."

He looked at her a little doubtfully as she put the car back into drive and moved back onto the road. She peeked at him from out of the corner of her eye and laughed, "now what do you think Cris and May have been doing all these years?"

"I hadn't thought about it."

"There's a reason they call me, mum."

"Both of them?"

"Yes, Severus for many, many years now."

"Oh."

"I do think, before you go back to school we're going to have to have a serious talk about this Death Eater business." Severus squirmed a little and tried to remember what he had said. "It's no good, I'll get it all out of you eventually. But for today we are just going to have a nice Christmas. Sound good?"

"Yes."

"Alright." She carefully turned into the driveway, clipping the hedge with the front bumper. "Drat! I keep doing that."

"I could try and trim it back if you'd like."

"That would be lovely, Severus," she said as she slid from the car.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, determined not to cry again. "Violet, you can call me, Sev, if you want."

She smiled at him. "I would be happy to."

Just then, the door swung open and Lily flew down the walk. "Sev, you came back!" With a laugh she threw her arms around him. He winced at the pain that shot up his back as Lily hung on determinedly and he was loathed to detach her. "I knew mum would talk you into it."

He had never seen her so happy, it was almost a shame to tell her the truth. "I wasn't sure you wanted me to come back."

"Sev, for someone so smart you can certainly be awfully stupid. I wanted you to stay. I worry about you, you know."

"Don't, I can take care of myself."

He knew she wanted to say something about that but after a moment of hesitation she simply shook her head and dropped her arms back to her side. "Mum, May and Cris are here."

"What?"

"They arrived not long after the two of you left."

"And where's Cris' car?"

"They came in a cab."

"What in the world's happened now? Honestly, you children are going to be the death of me."

Severus felt guilty thinking of the burdens he had just added to her. Lily merely laughed, "You wouldn't want it any other way, mum."

Violet looked back over her shoulder and smiled at them both endearingly. "No, I wouldn't. Severus, take your things upstairs to the guestroom."

Lily watched as he opened the back of the car and pulled the pillowcase out, handing it to her. "Can you carry this for me? But don't peak, I haven't finished wrapping yet."

She nodded and took the case into her arms, watching as he pulled out his trunk. "How long are you staying for?"

"I guess till it's time to go back to school."

She held the front door open for him and then followed him up the stairs. "What happened?"

"He threw me out."

"Your father?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. He'll let me back in eventually, always does."

"This has happened before?"

"A couple of times."

"What do you do?"

"Sleep at the spot."

He saw the bag start to slide from her hands. "Don't drop that! There are breakable things in there."

"What do you eat?"

"Lil, can we not talk about this right now?" He set the trunk at the foot of the bed he had slept in the night before and took the pillowcase from her hands. He grabbed his wand and started to pull it out.

Lily flopped herself down on the opposite bed and looked at him intently "Sev, am I really your best friend?"

The wand fell from his hand and his head shot up like a flash. "Of course you are. How can you even ask me that?"

"You keep so many secrets from me."

"No, I don't." He was surprised to see how hurt she looked. "Lily, you know more about me than anyone else in the world."

"But not everything."

"Well, I don't know everything about you."

"Yes, you do."

He looked at her sceptically so she hurriedly continued, "alright, you know almost everything. But you don't want to know about girl stuff, do you?"

"Like?"

"When I get my month…"

He held up a hand. "Stop!"

"Told you, you didn't want to know everything."

"Then why do you think you would want to know everything about me?"

"Because boys aren't like girls, they don't have those embarrassing times."

He wanted to scoff. There had been times when he couldn't get up from a table or desk because of what she did to him, mornings when he had woken up still aroused over some dream about her. "Really? Because talking about this with you is more than a little uncomfortable."

"Fine, then how about you tell me what really goes on in your house."

Hadn't they already had this conversation today? A quiet knock sounded on the door and Cris popped his head in the room. "Hiya, mate. Can we..." Cris started into the room then stopped abruptly. "Lily, sorry, I didn't see you there. I can go if you two are having a private discussion."

From the look on the elder boy's face Severus knew Crispin knew what had happened last night, and not only did he know, but like Violet and Lily he was worried and angry. "No, it's fine. Come in."

Crispin crossed and sat on the bed with Lily. Severus thought it was like a firing squad lining up. He really was going to have to stop going to the cinema with Lily it just mixed him up.

"How are you doing?"

This was it. He either had to tell the truth or lie. If he lied then Lily would know it and maybe this time he wouldn't be able to fix his mistake. "My back hurts and I'm sure I've looked better. Not that I ever look great. Still, I suppose it could be worse, right?"

For some reason this appeared to have been the wrong thing to say since a single tear slipped down Lily's cheek and Cris' eyes looked suspiciously damp. "Mum says it's pretty bad."

"She rang you?"

"Yes. She thought it might be better if I took you home but I wasn't sure I would be able to keep my temper, so – Listen, Severus, if you don't want to talk about this it's fine, just know if you do, any of us would be willing to listen. And I know it's hard, but believe me, it helps."

Severus wondered how on earth Cris could begin to know how he was feeling, what it was like to do without. Maybe Crispin sensed this because he stood up, crossed to the door and shut it. Then taking a deep breath he turned to face the friends.

Severus was surprised to see trepidation and fear in Cris' eyes. "Do you know why May and I call Violet and Daniel, mum and dad?"

"I didn't even know you did until a moment ago," Lily responded.

"We've been doing it for years. I'm sorry, Lils, maybe I should have said something earlier but I was afraid you mightn't like it."

"I don't care, though Tuney might."

"I know." Cris paused to take a deep breath before continuing on, "what I'm about to tell the two of you, you can't ever tell anyone else. Promise?"

"Yes." Lily whispered.

Severus nodded his head; he knew Cris was about to tell them something big. He got up and crossed to sit with Lily, giving the older boy his full attention.

"I'm not very good at telling this story so forgive me if I don't do it well. When I was fifteen and May was –

"No, I have to go further back than that – I don't think my parents were ever particularly interested in being parents. Something I'm sure perplexes you, Lily, but there are people like that. For them, I think, having children was all about doing what they were supposed to do, getting an heir and all that. Anyway, from the second I was born I was turned over to nannies and so was May when she came along. The only time we ever saw our parents was when we got trotted out to be shown off for their friends. Weren't we cute? Weren't they lucky? Etcetera. Otherwise we meant nothing to them.

"Our mother, Victoria's, main concern in life is keeping up, being friends with the right people, going to the right places, wearing the right clothes. Unfortunately, this meant she also had to have the right nanny. So the women came and went. I don't think we ever managed to have the same person for more than a handful of months. So May and I had no stability, no love, except what we got from each other. I guess it made us close, to close some people have said. But May was the only person who was always there for me, the only person I could trust completely. And you can't live your life with no one can you?

"I don't know how it happened that May and I ended up at Lily's school. I supposed it slipped our parent's minds how old we were and one of the multitude of nannies enrolled us. Anyway, May came home her first day of second form all excited about this great girl she had met called Lily Evans. Of course, they quickly became fast friends and I don't know quite how it happened to this day, but somehow we started spending more and more time here. You know how Vi is, Severus, she would make us phone our parents if we were staying for dinner or something and I use to go and ring the house and talk to no one. I didn't want anyone to know May and I were mostly on our own. I'm not sure why now, though I'm certain it seemed like the right thing at the time.

"So, that's how it was for years. Then, one day, Lily told May and I she had met a boy and he had told her she was special, a witch." Cris smiled at Severus. "I bet our reaction was about what Lily's was when you told her."

Severus thought back to how badly that encounter had gone and how disappointed he had been. "She thought I'd called her a dirty name and stalked off."

Lily reached for his hand and cradled it in hers. "I was silly. I'm glad you forgave me."

"Soon it became all about you, Severus, how smart you were and all the great things the two of you were going to do and this special school you were going to go to. I'm sorry to say May and I might have encouraged Petunia's behaviour towards you. You see, we didn't want Lily to go, not because either of us was jealous of your abilities, but because we felt like we were finally part of a family and if Lily went we were certain we would lose that. But off the two of you went anyway.

"As it so happened, it was around that time my parents woke up to the fact May and I weren't babies anymore. It was decided I would be sent away to school while May would stay here and go to some sort of private day school and live at home. I didn't want to go. I fought them tooth and nail. If I went who would May have? Who would I have? I'm not ashamed to tell you my sister has always been and will always be my best friend. I only gave in once my parents hired this wonderful lady to be my sister's, companion I guess I'll call her. Bridie was wonderful, warm, gentle, loving, like a grandmother. I knew I could leave May alone with her and she'd be safe and well looked after.

"Surprisingly, things ended up not being so bad that year. I missed May, of course and all Evanses but I got to know other people and wasn't as lonely as I thought I'd be. Though I didn't really have any friends, I just didn't trust anyone that much. People revolved in and out of my life so much I suppose I learned to hold them away. Then before I knew it the summer was here and it was grand. I think that's actually the summer I met you, Severus.

"It might still be the best summer of my life, I was so happy to be back home with May. And Daniel and Violet, welcomed us both back with open arms. The only dark spot was something was wrong with Bridie. It turned out she was old and had a heart condition. Two weeks after I went back to school she died. My parents were gone." Crispin laughed darkly; it was a sound Severus knew all to well. "They're always gone. I wanted to leave school. May was only thirteen, she couldn't take care of herself. But May said she had the maid and would only be alone at night and if I ran away the parents would come home and who knew what would happen. You see, there had been talk of sending me away the following summer and we couldn't risk that happening. So, I agreed if she wrote me every week I would stay put.

"I hated every minute of school that term. I absolutely lived for May's letters, I was so worried something would happen to her. Then, in November, the letters stopped. There aren't words for how scared I was. We were only allowed to use the phone once a week for five minutes and when I rang, no one answered. Each day that went by without a letter I grew more and more terrified. I had to do something, but I was afraid to run away because if there were nothing wrong with May and THEY found out I might get sent away and wouldn't get to see her for years, but on the other hand, what if there was something wrong with her. Finally I made a decision. I bribed one of my dorm mates and snuck out. I ran all the way to the village and called Violet. I told her what was happening and she promised she would go look in on May that very night.

"The next day they pulled me from class and told me I had a phone call – Have you ever had one of those moments where you're so scared your feet won't move?"

Lily and Severus both nodded.

"This was one for me. When I picked up, it was Vi, she told me May was very sick but she and Daniel had brought her here and were taking care of her. I wasn't to worry about anything right now but when I came home for Christmas hols we would all sit down and have a nice long talk. It took two weeks for me to get a letter from May and I had to take it outside and read it out past the cricket field so no one would see me bawling over a letter from my sister. I told you May and I are best friends, so she told me everything, that the maid had quit and she had been left alone. There had been no one there to take care of her, but she didn't want me to do anything rash and get in trouble, so didn't tell me. By the time Violet and Daniel found her she was so sick…" Cris' voice caught and a tear slipped from the corner of his bright blue eye, "they were afraid she would die.

"I felt like the worst big brother in the world. All I wanted to do was come home and get May. I made up the craziest plan ever for us to run away. I remember when I got off the train Daniel was there to meet me and he brought me right here. That night Daniel and Violet got me to tell them about how things were in our house and they promised me if I went back to school they would look after May for me. I didn't want to at first. After all, everyone else had left us why shouldn't they? Then I talked to May and she told me how wonderful they were, how one of them had sat by her bedside every minute. That Daniel had to talk Vi out of going and find our parents and screaming at them. How Violet had cried and told him she wanted to keep us forever.

"That was it, that was all I needed to hear. No one had ever loved us like that, cared about what happened to us. I think I have loved them from that moment to this. Sometime that spring I wrote a letter to Violet and called her mum accidentally. After I realized what I had done I apologized but she wrote back and said she would be honoured to be my mum and if I didn't mind, Daniel would like to be called dad.

"It might be one of the best moments of my life. So as far as I'm concerned this is my family, May, Daniel, Violet and you, Lily. I don't care about Victoria and Edmund. I would happily give up every penny I have to live in this house with all of you.

"There's a reason I'm telling you this, Severus. The very first time I met you, I knew you were like us, May and I, neglected and unloved."

Severus felt himself bridle a little at the words, but Lily squeezed his hand and he let the spark of upset die.

"I wanted to be friends with you right from the start, from that very first summer. But I knew it would be hard. You trusted people about as much as I did. Mum would say one of us had to learn to let people in before something could happen. She's probably right.

"What I want to say and am not saying very well, is we would like it if you would be part of our family, mine and May's. Always fancied having a little brother. I also want you to know, I've heard mum say all the same things about you she did about us. Severus, you have no idea how much she's wanted to take you out of that house, how much she worries about you. And don't worry; you don't have to tell us anything you don't want to about your parents. I know it's a hard thing to do, coming clean and telling the first person is always the hardest but, I promise, it gets easier. We all care about you, me and May and Mum and Lils and Dad thought you were great. He was so happy about how much you were changing this past summer. He was proud of you, I'm just sorry he didn't get the chance to tell you that himself.

"You don't have to trust us completely right away or even love us. Just give us a chance to be the family we want to be to you. That's all I wanted to say. Sorry it took so long."

Next to Severus, Lily was sniffling. "I never knew all of that."

"It's a hard thing to tell people, Lil."

"Well, I'm glad you told us and I think it's great I have a big brother."

Lily got up from the bed and walked across to hug Cris.

Severus continued to sit where he was, to conflicted to move. Maybe he should tell someone what was happening, but he had never been more afraid in his life. Doing this would be an incredible leap of faith for him, he would be giving these people a great deal of power, more than he had ever given anyone. Still he had realized this family loved him and even more shockingly he loved them, all of them, well all except Petunia. He trusted them and knew if he wanted their trust he was going to have to prove it to them. The problem was he didn't know what to say or how to say it.

The door slowly swung open to reveal May. "Why are you all so weepy?"

"I was telling them about Victoria and Edmund."

"Oh." May swallowed hard and looked nervously at Lily and Severus.

"I wish you would have told me sooner," chided Lily.

"I didn't know how. Do you care about us calling Violet and Daniel…?"

Lily laughed, "why would I care about that? May, I only care that you and Cris and Sev are happy."

May beamed happily back at Lily while Cris engulfed her in a huge hug.

Severus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, this was the moment for the leap. "My – my father hits me," he whispered.

There, it was out. The silence stretched out for an eternity. The longer it got the more scared he became, maybe they didn't understand. Then the bed sagged on either side of and behind him.

"Thanks for telling us, mate."

He finally opened his eyes and saw May and Lily on either side of him, both of them smiling through their tears. May reached out and grabbed him. "Welcome to the family."

No sooner had her arms released him then Lily's took her place. "I love you, Sev."

"I love you too, Lily."

Her eyes grew wide for a moment and then she laughed and threw her hands in the air. "Finally! I've only been waiting eight years for my best friend to say he loves me. I thought you were waiting for an engraved invitation from God or something."

Cris began to chuckle softly and May quickly joined in. It wasn't long until the whole room was echoing with their laughter

"I'm glad to find you all so merry. Does this mean we're ready to have Christmas?" Violet asked from the doorway.

May rose from the bed and laughed. "Yes, it does, Mum."

"Well then, downstairs with all of you. I didn't buy my children gifts so they could collect dust under the tree."

Severus turned and picked up the abandoned case at the foot of the bed. He took out the jar, ring and box and then slung the case over his shoulder and went to have his first proper Christmas in eleven years.