Chapter Twenty-One
One Year Later
My eyes snap open as I sit up. I then start to look left and right, my eyes darting all around to look around the room, trying to find the Erasers and my father somewhere around me. I barely even notice as Erik sits up behind me after being awoken by my sudden movements.
An arm wraps around my waist loosely, making me snap around, ready to attack, until I realize that it's only Erik. He pulls me close to him, his arm still around me, as I shiver. My mind is finally catching up with me and I realize that it had only been that nightmare again. None of what I had just seen was really happening to me – never again.
I begin to relax as Erik rubs circles into my back, trying to calm me down, while he mutters that it'll be all right and that it was only a dream into my ear. I actually close my eyes as my mind begins to realize that exactly what he's saying is true; I am alright and it was just a nightmare. My breathing calms down, my heart right behind it.
Just as I feel myself about to fall back to sleep, I mutter quietly under my breath, not really trying to tell him what I say, even if it is to him. "I don't know what I'd do without you…"
Just as the darkness overtakes me, I hear him reply. "Neither do I. I don't think I'd survive without you."
The next thing I'm aware of is the fact that my head is back on his chest, his lungs and heart moving beneath my ear as he sleeps. Opening my eyes, I realize that he had managed to lie us back down without waking me up, falling asleep with his arm still around me. I smile slightly and close my eyes, thinking about going back to sleep.
Then I hear a noise to my right and my eyes open in a flash, my head turning slightly to see Victoria sitting up and looking at us with a small smile on her face, almost identical to the one I had just been wearing. She sees me looking and raises an eyebrow while looking down at Erik's arm around me, definitely asking me what that's about. Rolling my eyes at her, I sign one message: Nightmare.
Her eyes widen in shock before turning understanding. She runs her right index finger down the center of her chest. Sorry. I just shake my head to tell her it wasn't her fault and I don't blame her for what she had been thinking.
The shaking of my head rouses Erik and he begins to move around under me. Sharing an eye roll with Victoria, I sit up and watch as Erik slowly comes to awareness of his surroundings. He suddenly realizes that I'm not on his chest anymore and rolls onto his side, his eyes wide open as he looks around until he spots me. His body relaxes and he smiles.
One of the few things that all three of us are afraid of is for a repeat of what happened to me five and a half years ago. We don't want to wake up one morning to find out one of our group has been taken away in the night, never to be seen again by the others. The three of us are closer – closer than any of us had been to the other five, including me and Alexa.
"Man, Erik, you need to lose some of that tension," Victoria says, trying to be annoying on purpose.
"Oh, be quiet, Victoria," he replies, sitting up properly in the process. "We all know you wake up with way more tension than Erika and I put together. You're the one who needs to lay off the tension."
I put my head in my palm as the two of them start ribbing each other and trying to get a response out of the other. I decide tuning both of them out is much better than trying to shut them up or listening to them, so I start fingering the necklace still around my neck after two and a half years. I run my fingers over the feather that's gold and light brown, trying not to think about the person it belongs to while I do.
The last shared dream had been over a month ago, even between Erik, Victoria, and me. While that's happened once or twice before in the past two years with the other five, there's usually at least one shared dream between the three of us every week. I'm not sure what this means, but I'm really hoping it doesn't mean that the dreams are over.
The other two aren't as concerned about this as I am because we still see each other every day. For me, this is a worry as while they might not see the other five as often as I do, I usually see at least one of them every couple of weeks. The fact that I haven't told Erik or Victoria that I haven't seen the other five in a month doesn't really help, but I don't want them to start worrying about it.
"Erika?" I look up at the sound of my name being said by Victoria.
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay? You've been playing with your necklace for at least five minutes."
"I'm fine. Are you two done arguing now?" I smile slightly as I ask that question, knowing it'll annoy both of them.
"We were not arguing!" Erik says angrily, not realizing that he had just proven my point.
"Uh, yeah, you were. You also just proved my point by answering like that; you're obviously still angry from the fight."
"Oh, shut up, Erika," Victoria says, knowing there's no point in trying to deny that the two of them had just been arguing away in front of me.
"Why? It's so much fun to bait you two; especially after you've both just finished baiting each other in the form of argument."
"That's why you were looking at your necklace, wasn't it?" Victoria asks, ignoring my last comment completely.
"You mean the fact that the two of you were arguing?" She nods. "Yeah, it was. I was tuning you two out and playing with my necklace makes it easier."
"I still say we weren't arguing…" Erik mutters under his breath, just barely audible. Victoria and I ignore him while we look at each other. I'm trying to make her understand what I was doing and she's finally nodding in acceptance.
Just as we hear footsteps in our hallway, Erik's stomach growls, letting us know that it's time for us to be getting food soon. In fact, just moments after his stomach stops growling, the door opens and the scientist with our food comes into the room. He silently walks over, opens the door to the cage, puts the food in, and leaves the room after locking us back in. That's all normal. The unusual thing is the fact that he looked at Erik with a slightly sad expression before leaving, his face going back to a neutral look.
Victoria and I share confused looks while Erik starts to eat without hesitation as he hadn't seen the look the scientist had given him. As Erik pays more attention to his food than anything else most of the time, unless we're verbally talking, Victoria and I hold a conversation with our hands, putting our forks down when needed to talk.
What was that about? I ask, starting the conversation.
I have no idea. It didn't look good. I really didn't like it.
Me neither. His face scared me.
Same here. I'm worried about what it could mean.
Same. I can't believe the idiot didn't notice the face! I sign, using the nickname we had come up with for Erik long ago.
Me neither. It's as if he likes being his own nickname.
I know! I thought he hates it when we call him the idiot, yet he acts like one almost all the time!
I don't think we'll ever understand him completely.
I don't think so either, though we understand him better than he understands us.
"Can you two stop signing so fast? I can't understand what you're saying!" We both turn to face Erik, our faces masks of surprise. "What? I do pay attention to more than my food, no matter what you two think. Besides, the facial expressions flashing back and forth kind of give you away."
It's a good thing we added to the language in the shared dreams where he isn't with us, I sign quickly.
Yeah, otherwise he'd actually know that we're talking about him.
"Ugh! I said to slow down, not get faster!" We both smile at him smugly. "You two have been practicing the language in the shared dreams, haven't you?" We both nod, smiles still on our faces. "That explains it. Not only are you faster, but it's obvious you're both using signs I don't know. Only about half that conversation made sense to me."
Good, because we don't want him knowing what we're saying about him, Victoria signs to me. I just nod in response.
"You two are… major pains in the butt!" We both start laughing at that, unable to hold it in. "Oh, be quiet!" That just sets us off even more, making him stop complaining.
"Sorry, Erik," I gasp once I have at least a little bit of my breath back. "We can't help it. Besides, we don't want you knowing what we're saying."
"Like I said, you two are major pains in the butt. You do know that, right?"
"No we aren't," Victoria says, "except to you." She starts laughing again while I nod quietly with a smile on my face. Erik groans and puts his head in his hands, shaking it slightly.
Too easy, Victoria signs through her laughter. He makes this too easy.
Oh, I know he does. He just doesn't know that he's making it really easy for the two of us.
The sound of footsteps registers in my brain just slightly, but I'm having too much fun with my friends to really mind. Only the door opening and a person coming in finally pulls the three of us out of the mood we're in so that we can look up. My eyes widen as I realize it's Robert walking towards us, a grim look on his face.
"Hey you three," he says, his voice sounding sad, which is very odd with him.
"What's wrong, Robert?" I ask, not even bothering to greet him.
"I've got some really bad news that you three are going to hate," he says, his face even more grim and his eyes shining with sorrow.
"What is it?" Erik asks, making Robert's face grow even grimmer as he turns to face him alone. That's the only warning I get for the next thing Robert says.
"It's time for you to move, Erik."
The three of us stare at him in shock, unable to believe what we're hearing. Thoughts shoot through my mind, absent-mindedly going down to my hands in the form of signs that neither of them see.
They're taking him away? Why do they have to take him away? He hasn't been bad! They have no reason to take him! Why him? Why not take me? I've been taken before; I've gone through the pain of being stolen from the people I love. I'm the one who should be taken, not him! Why are they doing this?!
"Erika, you need to calm down." I look up to see Robert looking at me, his eyes full of sympathy I can't feel. "Signing away when the only two people who can understand you aren't even looking at you isn't a good thing." I glare at Robert, unable to form a sentence in my mouth, not even to defend myself.
Why should I have to defend myself to him? Why should I even be looking at him? He's a traitor! He's going to take Erik away from us, from me! I'm never going to see him again and it'll all be Robert's fault. I'm not even sure if the dream will work anymore; we may not ever be able to talk again!
Suddenly, I feel a hand on my arm, and I look up to see Erik looking down at me. He reaches his hand out and places it on my two hands, finally stopping my constant signing that makes sense only to me as I had just made up a whole new group of signs in my distress at the idea of losing Erik without even meaning to. I probably won't even be able to remember the signs, let alone teach them to the others.
"Why?" The question from Erik finally pulls me out of my mood so that I can look up at Robert, waiting for the answer, the reason that my life is about to turn into a nightmare again.
"The Director wants to have you fight with the other enhanced humans of the world. She's going to send you over to the East side of the world in the end. That's all she told us when she sent the orders to have you moved out of here today."
I feel an intense anger at the stupid director of this stupid company. She's about to take another person who means the whole world to me away. She's going to break apart our trio without even thinking about it, without even hesitating.
I look over at Victoria and see that she's just as furious as I am. While the two of us will still be together, it won't be the same. The three of us are so close that the idea of one of us not being here is unbearable. What's worse is the fact that Erik will be alone without one of us there with him.
"I'll leave and let you three… say goodbye. We've got to take him out of here shortly. I'm really sorry you three." With that said, Robert leaves the room and closes the door behind him.
We sit in silence for a moment before Erik talks. "Well… at least we'll have the dreams here and there."
I take a shaky breath as I shake my head and a few tears start to run down my face. "I don't think we do, Erik. I really don't think we do anymore." Shocked faces meet my own as I say that.
"Why not?" Victoria asks.
"I haven't had a dream with anyone in over a month. Not you two, not any of the others." More tears start to fall down my face as I realize how separated we'll be from now on.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"I didn't want to worry you both. You hadn't mentioned the fact that it's been over a month since the three of us had shared a dream, so I didn't want to bring it up."
"It doesn't matter," Erik says before Victoria can say anything. "We'll always have each other in our hearts and in the form of these necklaces." Erik holds his in the hand that isn't holding mine. "So what if we don't share the dreams anymore? We have the memories, the love, and the physical evidence of one another and we'll never lose it."
"You're right, Erik," Victoria says. "Besides, maybe the dreams will come back soon. We don't really know what controls them." I nod slowly, realizing that it's possible.
"Come here," Erik says to Victoria as he moves his hand from my hand to around my waist again and holds his other arm out to her.
She walks over and he puts his other arm around her waist. Both of us put an arm around him, almost at the exact same moment. Looking at each other, we both reach out with our other hands and clasp them together. Erik then puts his head on our clasped hands while we put our heads on his shoulders, completing the odd circle that makes sense only to us.
We just sit there, taking in the fact that the three of us are all still there, still alive. I take in the sound of Erik's heartbeat and breathing one final time, not knowing if I'll ever hear it again, let alone when. I hug him closer, not wanting to let him go, to lose him. He grasps me tighter as well and then we just sit there, unmoving.
The door opens and Robert comes in, though none of us move. We listen as he comes over to the cage and stops in front of us, crouching down to look at us, three ten-year-olds about to be separated for what may be forever. We hear him sigh sadly as he takes in the sight of the three of us, all together in such a way that it looks like we'll never be separated again.
"I'm so sorry for this, you three," he mutters, "I'm so very sorry. I really don't want to do this, but I don't have a choice. It's do this, or my family and I die. If I thought I could pull a Jeb and get away, then I would, but I know I can't. I'm really sorry."
I sigh internally as I realize he's referring to the only other group of Avian-Hybrids, the second group to get away, the one that's younger than us. A scientist named Jeb took the six kids away just a few months ago. The news has been all over Flint. Experiments took it as a new hope and many tried to escape themselves, ending up in their deaths by the Erasers. Victoria, Erik, and I had agreed to stay put, knowing that it would be futile.
"Please, you three, I really need to take Erik now. I'm going to get into trouble if I don't. I'll be the next scientist to die." The three of us look up at him in horror. "I've never told you this, but every three months, a scientist is chosen and then never seen again; all of them are killed. No one knows what makes them get chosen, but it's almost always failure to follow orders. Please, come with me, Erik."
Erik slowly removes his hands from around our waists, turning to face Victoria. He murmurs something under his breath into her ear and then kisses her on the forehead and hugs her. I watch as he slowly turns towards me, his face an emotionless mask while his eyes are tunnels of emotions, blocked to all but a few who can see past the thin blockade.
"I love you, Erika," he murmurs into my ear. "I don't know what I'll do without you, but I know I'll never forget you. You'll always be in my heart and mind. I'm going to live just to find you again, even if it's only to find you dead. I'll never stop searching once I get free."
He then kisses me on my brow and hugs me tightly. I feel a drop of water fall onto my cheek that isn't my own. As he pulls away, I see the unshed tears in his eyes and the love, sorrow, hatred, happiness, anger, and confusion in his eyes. Not all of the emotions make sense, but I don't care. I just raise my right hand to my cheek, right where the tear is, and then put that same hand on his cheek, letting him feel the tear and the emotions I feel in that one touch.
Tears fall from his eyes at the touch. I see out of the corner of my eye that Victoria is crying as well. I feel water running down my face and let the tears fall, unashamed to be crying right now. The three of us have the right to cry, and we do.
The next thing I do is something that surprises all three of us, but I know I have to do. I touch my middle three fingers of my right hand to his heart and push gently, using the sign that's Alexa's and mine. I love you.
He closes his eyes tightly for a moment and when he opens them, he copies my sign, understanding deep in his heart what the secret sign that no one else has even seen means. Victoria comes over and they both do the sign, showing the love that the three of us share for each other.
Erik finally pulls free from us, moving slowly towards the door without his gaze wavering from the two of us. He signs a message to us: I'll never forget. Not a thing. Not you, not my memories, not this language, not a thing. I'll always love you both with all my heart. You both are my world and nothing will ever change that.
I feel myself shaking as I watch him sign to us, fresh tears coming out of my eyes. Erik, I'll never forget. I'll come find you, even if it means finding you dead. I'll never forget you.
Victoria's eyes are full of tears as well as she signs her own message after I'm done. We'll always be there for each other in some way. We'll live for each other and never forget. I'll always try to find you.
As Robert closes the door to the cage behind Erik and they both stand up, all three of us sign one final message to each other: Goodbye for now.
Erik's forced to turn around as Robert leads him from the room. The moment the door closes behind him, Victoria and I collapse, sobs escaping our bodies without hesitation. We hold onto each other for support, needing someone familiar to help us survive.
We both just let ourselves cry ourselves to exhaustion, not caring that it's still only morning, not caring that there's a chance we could be tested today, and not caring how we much look. We both fall asleep lying side-by-side.
For the first time in five years, I've lost my best friend. For the first time in five years, I'm falling asleep without Erik to use as a pillow. For the first time in five years, I feel lost. For the first time in five years, my life has been shattered so effectively that I don't think I'll ever survive. For the first time in five years, I fall into such an uneasy sleep that I don't sleep for more than two hours before nightmares begin waking me up, all of them similar to the one I haven't had in five years, the one that has my family taken away from me one-by-one.
For the first time in five years, I've lost hope, and I'm not sure what it'll take to make it come back.
And that was one of the toughest things for me to write, emotionally. The part from when Robert told them about what was going to happen onwards took me over an hour alone. I really didn't want to have to write this, but it's been planned to happen at the age of 10 since the beginning of this story, as Chapter Nine of Old and New Attack said would happen. I'm also sorry to say that there is more planned to happen within the next... 5 chapters or so that WILL have to happen, no matter how sad it may be. I don't want to write these sort of things, but I have to. They make up the down side of the story while the dreams and other fun moments make up the up side of it. Everything else is in the middle.
Please, tell me what you thought of this chapter in a review... Your opinions on this chapter will mean the world to me. I truly need opinions on this chapter as it was one of the hardest to write, like I said, and I want to know how I did.
Posted: 3/6/10