Never in my lifetime did I think I would ever be sitting in the Justice Building, surrounded by rebels, willingly creating a plan to take down District 13. Never. But here I am, in my chair, listening to a rebel named Craig identify the weapon storage areas of13, surrounded by the white marbled walls of the Justice building. Are we pursuing justice?
I'm unsure. The way they present their ideas is highly logical, and highly similar to the old rebellion. And that for the last 15 minutes we've discussed how to minimize civilian deaths. These people that surround me, they seem entirely normal. Not evil, not mad, just normal people. Like my parents. You can understand my confusion.
"Now Freesia. Enlighten us with your plan of entry." Michael suggests.
I wander through the plan again; enter from the east, another team waiting at the south. But one issue comes to mind.
"My parents- or anyone for that matter," I amend, "can't know I'm working with you guys. They are going to notice if I'm gone and in a hover craft to 13."
Michael smiles. "That day we will pull you in for questioning and interviewing for the Hunger Games. Your parents can't argue and there is your alibi. We will delay the news of 13 by a day or so, alleviating any suspicion on your part."
I nod. Sounds reasonable. Actually better, it sounds plausible.
"You've said how to get into the district, but you haven't said where to go after we enter and override the main security personal." That's because I don't know, I think vehemently to the rebel who asked the question.
"The main spots to hit will be the weapon storage areas, like Craig outlined and the headquarters where the other security and important personal will be." I say, using what everyone else has said because I really don't know the district well. "The team on the south will take care of the minimal security on that side and a few meeting rooms that will hold less vital, but still important information." I say.
"Where will the district be evacuated to?" Someone else asks.
"The bomb shelters on the lowest levels. We will dispatch a small team to secure those so they can't lock themselves in and find ways to retaliate." I don't say it but I know there'll be a problem with that. They will be hard pressed to work their way down to those shelters.
The meeting continues with information and dealings that I either don't know or don't care about. I begin drawing with the pen and notepad they had given me to take notes if I needed.
After about 5 minutes the rebel next to me leans over.
"You know, we're meant to actually pay attention in these meetings. They're sort of important." She whispers to me. I look up to see the creases in her eyes telling me she's joking. She's joking with me? Well that's a new step. I suppose they don't hate me. I feel the pull in my mouth forming a small smile.
"You're talented. That's a good drawing." She says now completely disregarding the rest of the meeting. I peer at my drawing. It's in a cheap pen on a worn notepad but aside from that it is actually quite good. "That's your sister? It's almost like a photograph."
I hadn't paid particular attention to what I was drawing though yes it was Lily. It's just a rough sketch of her face but back when she was carefree and loving and not when she was fighting for her life in the Games. Like right now.
"Thank you." I say realizing I hadn't spoken a word to her. She gives me a small smile before turning her attention back to Michael.
The rest of the plan gets set in concrete. I am needed to find the tunnel to entire via the east and maneuvering through a vast part of the district. I hope I can fake it because I have a minimal sense of direction, especially in a district as convoluted as 13. They also need me to identify the main headquarters which only I've ever seen out of all the rebels. I am relying on luck much more than skill. No one notices though and for now I am safe which means so is Lily.
"4 days people." Michael says happily. "We will meet again soon and reevaluate the strategies." The group of people disperses quickly chatting about normal things like normal people. I don't know why I assumed the rebels to be heartless monsters because, after all my parents were once rebels, but seeing them as the enemy made it so much easier to fight against them. Now that is all gone.
The woman next to me pats me on the shoulder and leaves the building. She seems like a mother in my opinion. I am one of the last to leave, my footsteps echoing against the marble. I can feel Michael's eyes on me and I turn expecting him to say something to me. He merely looks on surveying me from head to toe. I am slightly unnerved so I blurt out the only thing I can think of.
"See you in soon." God, I'm an idiot.
His lips twitch. "Goodbye Freesia."
Traitor.
What a common word these days. My dad had said it in disgust as news carried of new citizens that had joined the rebels.
"We fought so hard. They're undoing it all." My mother ranted.
"Well even if they do succeed they won't do it easily. You know they're going to retaliate." I knew that 'them' wasn't the rebels anymore.
"Will it work?" She says with doubt.
My father didn't seem much more confident. "It didn't work last time."
"They were meant to grow up in a world that's safe." She started crying. I knew that 'they' was now their children, me.
"I know." Says dad quietly. "I hate that we can't do that, but I would never take them back." Mum makes a noise of assent.
"Haymitch has already talked with them hasn't he?" Says mum.
"Yes but he wouldn't give me the details Katniss. Even so it's starting again. It's odd being on the other side this time."
My mother had stayed quiet for a moment. "I'd rather there were no sides anymore, Peeta." She said tiredly.
Dad had sighed. "God, me too. Me too."
They hadn't known I'd heard and I slip upstairs soundly, forgetting the reason I had come down at all.
Mum and dad knew about anti rebels plans. Haymitch had said not to do anything, to leave it to him and he would save Lily. All the people I loved were now involved in saving the country and what am I doing? I'm making meetings and infiltrating 13. I had no sense of what was right and wrong anymore. All I had was a blurred line where in the center there was a war and the very real chance that my sister could die.
"Traitor." I whisper, testing the word. I look at my drawings on the wall.
Yeah, maybe I am.
Day three of the Games. Lily's still alive obviously. Eight are dead 16 are left. She had been going so well. She had had weapons and food from suburbia and she had made it into the forest unscathed but now I was witnessing her downfall.
"Get up! Run you idiot!" I scream at the TV, tears streaking my face. We were in the Hawthorne's house today.
"Freesia, stop it. Now." My father tells me levelly but I can here the menace in his tone. Jake wraps an arm around me for support. Gale and dad begin discussing something in whispers. My mother is busying herself back in our house. It's too painful for her to watch Lily in the Games. And right now it's almost too painful for me too.
I had assumed that if I did my part she would be okay. But on the screen there was nothing about that picture that was 'okay'.
Right now Lily doesn't look in a position to win. She's about to lose any second. It's her first kill, a boy from District 4, an arrow neatly lodged where his heart would be. Luckily for her there is now one less Career, although I wouldn't want Marina his district partner after her. There's no doubt Lily has our mothers skill with a bow and arrow, but as for potential she only goes so far. Earlier this afternoon she saw a gory death of the girl from 11. She's been screwed up ever since. Just like Annie used to be. Lily, the carbon copy of mum, does not have the mind set to contend in the Games. Unlike our mother we have never been subjected to such awful things, we hadn't had to watch the Hunger Games every year or hunt for our own survival. We were unaccustomed with death; We grew up in an entirely different world, a much more sheltered world. And it might just be the death of her now.
Lily has freed the arrow from the boy, the arrow she nearly didn't drive into his heart. Good for her that she did, otherwise she'd be dead. I'm not sure whether the rebels would save her at this point or not. She needs to run though, there's a pack of tributes near. And given she's spent the last minute screaming hysterically because her arrow wouldn't come out, they surely know her position.
I'm close to screaming at the screen again when she begins stumbling away. She starts off slow but her pace quickens and soon she's sprinting away, looking almost like the Mockingjay's daughter should look.
I can see it in her eyes though. The brokenness, the slightly crazed look. The rebels will not want to have an insane victor. She needs to pull herself together.
The screen flickers to the career pack, specifically Marina the girl from four. She has the highest betting. They are just approaching the dead body of the boy and Lily only has a couple of hundred meters on them.
Marina screams, a high animal like sound as she looks down at her district partner bending down to his body. The other Career's stand back, tight faced but composed. She inspects the wound.
"It's too small to be a knife, too clean as well." She looks back at the Career's. "It's Mellark I'm certain. It's pierced the heart too, we all know she has deadly aim."
A ripple of some emotion goes through the pack. Then they all start the way that Lily had run.
"Oh poor thing, she was going so well." The commentator says indifferently.
"She might still have a chance." One reasons. "After all she is a Mellark."
"A full pack of Career's in pursuit of her? And by the looks of it she wasn't holding up-"
"Turn it off." I grumble and leave the room. I slam the door open to Jake's room on the top level. There's a picture I was drawing earlier on his desk, and I stride over and crumple it up, and fling it into the bin. My hands shake. I'm just so angry…and confused…
I hear the creak of the floorboard and I know Jake is behind me. His eyes are concerned but he doesn't say anything. I don't either. He kicks the door shut, the movement aggressive, and I know he is angry too. Suddenly he is in my face right in front of me. I don't expect it because usually he insists we talk it out, but he pushes me roughly against the wall and attacks my lips. My back slams into the plaster and my own lips respond with the same ferocity. I know they'll be swollen later. I feel his hands, rough against my skin, gripping either side of my waist and slowly running their way up my body…A shiver runs through me.
Our tongues dance together and I grip his hair, possibly too tightly but he only groans with pleasure in response. His hands are on the hem of my shirt and I let go of his hair and he has it off in seconds. I remove his quickly relishing the skin to skin contact. He's warm and I can feel the pattern of his abs against my stomach. He squeezes my thigh and lifts it slightly and I follow his lead and wrap my legs around his waist using the wall for leverage. He lets me breath for a moment as he nuzzles in my neck, gently sucking the skin and then leaving a trail of kisses downwards.
"I love you so much." I tell him breathlessly.
He gives me a lopsided grin. "I don't think you have any idea the effect you can have. You're amazing."
I squeeze his hips tighter with my legs and pull his lips up to mine. I shift on him slightly and grind my hips a little. The sound he makes makes me feel insanely happy. My hands trail down his back and to his pants as his climb up mine and to my bra strap. We are so far gone past thinking and reasoning that it takes the heavy foot falls of our father's on the stairs to pull us out of this ecstasy and realize this is so not the way we want our parents to find us.
Jake swears under his breath. We both react so quickly in our haste thinking only of our clothes on the floor that I unwrap my legs the same time he moves away letting me go, and I crash against the wall and fall to the floor. He's grabbed his shirt and has an arm through it before he actually looks at me.
"Shit, you okay?" But I'm nearly crying with laughter. I rehook my bra from my place on the floor and he throws my shirt at me. "Come on!" I put it on with shaking hands as I'm beginning to laugh hysterically. He runs over to his desk attempting to look busy as the door opens and I have just regained my shirt.
"Hey guys, we were thinking-"
"Hey look I found it!" Jake says convincingly and waving a photograph at me. He walks over where I'm trying to look at ease even though I can't keep the grin off my face.
"Oh yeah, that's it." I say taking the photo. "What were you saying dad?" I turn to him trying to look innocent.
"Gale offered for you and Rye to stay the night here." He says and I'm trying my hardest not to blush. "Have a bit of fun for a change. Get your mind off things."
What good timing. Dad's phrased it like it's for our benefit but in truth I know it's for him and mum. They need a break from Rye's constant happiness and my moodiness. A chance to gather themselves.
"I think that's a great idea."
"Good I'll go get Rye."
I totally lose it once they leave the room and roll on the floor in hysterics. Jake shakes his head at me and comes over to pull me up.
"I'd rather that not happen again."
"It wasn't so bad was it?" I grin, he grins back and pecks me on the lips.
When my father returns he sends a very excited Rye into the house and I say goodbye to him at the door. Just before he leaves he turns to me.
"Free?"
"Yeah dad?"
There's a slight pause as he chooses how to phrase something. "Just remember, I'd like you to get invited back to the Hawthorne's, okay?" He says and gives me a serious look.
"What?"
"You did a good job of acting normal, well Jake did, but your lips are swollen. And your neck…" Dad says to me with an amused smile. "Trust me, I've been there but I don't want Gale sending you back in the middle of the night. Keep that in mind okay?"
My face flushes. And here I thought he hadn't noticed. "I'll be good dad." I promise, completely embarrassed.
"Good, otherwise I'll lock you in the basement until your thirty."
If I didn't know him so well I'd think he's serious.
I don't know why, maybe we're just morbidly curious, but we sit down to watch the Games again that night. Jake's mum had very tactfully taken Rye and Marianna, the youngest ones, to the kitchen to bake a cake for dessert. The rest of us were in the lounge watching the television.
Lily was not holding up. She had evaded the Career's in the forest but she was now wandering aimlessly. The determined girl we saw in the first day was no longer there. Before the reaping we both knew that one of us wouldn't come out. Looking at her now I know she has given up.
3 tributes had died today, one getting trapped by the mutts, one killed by the Career's and surprisinglyone killed by Ren, the boy from 11. So far he didn't have a scratch on him. He was strong and could overpower most tributes which made it easy for him to kill them with his knife. But there was a softness in his eyes, almost regret for the dead tribute that set him apart from the others. He had empathy and he hasn't been pushed over the edge yet.
"He could win!" Jake's sister, Caroline, insisted observing him.
"He won't win Caroline." Jake tells her. "The rebels don't like him." That was putting it lightly.
"Well I think he could." She says indifferently.
I nuzzle into Jake's side and rest my head on his shoulder. The screen flickers back to Lily. She is by a lake filling her water bottle up. The camera pans out and reveals Ren, entirely carefree about 100 meters away.
"Looks like Miss Mellark is going to have some trouble." Says a commentator.
He's right. Ren is creeping closer and closer towards her and he now has a clear view. I'm waiting for the Gamemaker's to intervene, to put something in his path so she can't die.
"Come on Lily." Jake mutters.
And then something happens. Something I'd never thought could happen. He grabs her and covers her mouth with his hand. She tries to scream and kick away but he is too strong. I see his muscles flex in the effort to keep her still.
And then he says it. "Allies?"
"No way!" Caroline mutters. "She could win now Free!" Caroline doesn't know it's rigged. Gale does, and silences her quickly.
Lily is frozen just like I am. Ren removes his hand from her mouth. "We'd have a better chance against the Career's. I saw you take out that boy. Incredible aim."
So he saw her lose it and go crazy, and he's applauding her for her aim? Why on earth would he ally a girl who is on the brink of madness? This boy is stranger than I imagined. She looks at him through her vacant eyes and says the exact opposite of what she should.
"Deal."
Rye mumbles in his sleep next to me, looking entirely peaceful, his dreams not plagued with awful images. Before he went to bed he had told me he missed Lily. I'd said she would come back.
Obviously, I was not allowed to sleep in Jake's room. Even as much as he argued I got the guest bedroom with Rye and I let him sleep in the bed with me. After all he's still only four. But at 2am after tossing and turning since 11 I give up and extract myself from the piles of blankets.
My mind won't stop. Just like after the car accident images course through it. Prominently Lily dying, me being unable to save her. Which is ridiculous because in three days I will be in 13.
I move as silently as I can through the house and find my way to the kitchen. It's pitch black so I turn the lamp on. I search through the cupboards until I find a mug. I fill a pot with milk and cocoa placing it on the stove to make a hot chocolate. The leftovers of the cake the kids made still sit on the counter and I take a piece to eat.
The T.V is in the next room but I don't have the strength to watch it by myself. InsteadI notice my phone that I had left on the counter after dessert. It's flashing with a message. I frown opening it, expecting it to be either Adam or Hollie. It's not.
Hey Free. Heard you're going in for questioning this week. Guess I'll see you there ;)
It's from Kin. How did he even find that out? It's not even real! Unless they actually are pulling people in for questioning? But what has Kin got to do with anything?
Yeah I guess so. Why are they pulling you in? I text back, playing along. He almost seems like the guy I used to know, the one that was on the track team with me and I used to sit with in English. But now he's too mysterious.
I stir the milk in the pot until my phone buzzes again.
No idea. I know both Lily and Pat so maybe that's it. Bit late isn't it? Why are you still up?
This is the kind of thing I would be texting Adam about, if he ever used his phone. Not Kin. Even so I guess he still is my friend.
Can't sleep. U?
I pour the hot chocolate into a mug and take a bite of cake. I check my phone.
Neither, I'm at Addie's. Games kept you awake too?
I don't know why he would be kept up at night from the Games, his sister wasn't in it. Then I chide myself, these are still his friends even if he is all weird lately. But Adeline, ugh, why he's interested in her I don't know. I guess she's pretty enough.
Yeah tell me about it. By the time the questioning comes maybe they won't need us. It's a sort of lie because he doesn't know about the deal but it almost seems true. Anyway it felt good to talk to someone else about this.
2 minutes pass. Don't say that, I know she's going to be okay. I'll walk with you to questioning.
Not exactly an ideal idea but I shrug.
Okay sure. What time are you going in?
Another sip, another minute.
7. U too right?
Yes. I text and set the phone down, eating a piece of cake in the dim light.
"What are you doing?"
I start violently, Jake's sleepy voice incredibly loud in the dead of night. Strangely I feel like I've been caught out even though I haven't done anything wrong.
"Couldn't sleep."
He frowns at me through bleary eyes. "You okay?"
The buzz of my phone cuts off my answer. "Who are you texting this late?" He asks confused. He grabs the phone before I can get to it. If I could come up with an answer he wouldn't look at it. But I can't.
"See you then. Goodnight, get some sleep." He reads the text aloud and then looks at the name. "You're texting Kin in the middle of the night?" He asks disbelieving.
I sigh. "He texted me first Jake, he's at his girlfriend's anyway." I say tiredly.
He gives me a cold look. "Okay he texted me because he's going in for questioning too!" I didn't want to lie so I'd planned not to tell Jake until later but I can tell any other response will not help my situation. Texting each other while his girlfriend and my boyfriend are asleep? Not a good look.
"Questioning? What questioning?"
"Two days from now. They want us in the Justice Building and they're questioning us for the Hunger Games." I say in a rush.
He forgets all about Kin, which was exactly my plan. "You're kidding right?"
"They're not going to do anything they just want answers." Oh how good at lying I am. "Now do you want some hot chocolate or not?" I ask holding out my cup.
He still looks worried but he comes over and drinks some and eats my cake.
"Hey! I was eating that!" I protest smacking his shoulder.
He looks at my eyes levelly, popping the last piece in his mouth, and then grins. "What's yours is mine, babe."
Oh Jake Hawthorne, you are so lucky I'm in love with you.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!
Need some suggestions and feedback, and a big thanks to reviewers and subscribers :)
Next chapter: District 13. I will update as soon as possible!