CHAPTER 21: FROM HERE TO ETERNITY
Merlin seated on the battlements, looked up at the roofs and turrets of Camelot. The pennants were flying, their attachments slapping the poles. The sounds had him remembering Arthur and his last visit there. However, his mind was sliding backwards to happier visits, which he hoped never to forget.
He would always remember the day that Arthur had finally taken him to explore the attics. It was a treasure trove of castle castoffs, unused and broken tools; weapons and armour; furniture; forgotten flags; chests and barrels; lots of cobwebs and little scurrying noises. At one point, Arthur had gone ahead of him and he suddenly was conscious of being surrounded by the forsaken memories of another age. His mind was picking up feelings which were foreign yet not at all frightening. All this history was enclosed in a warren of narrow chambers with high, steep ceilings. The wind whistled through the openings and the view from these heights was breathtaking.
They returned to Arthur's chambers covered in dust, clasping souvenirs of days gone by... Arthur had found a wooden horse that he had loved as a child and Merlin found a primitively carved dragon and his eyes lit up, Arthur seeing how much he liked it, insisted that he have it.
Arthur loved heights. He loved the steep tower stairwells but Merlin used to complain, "Arthur really, these are dangerous. The stairs are not safe."
Arthur always retorted, "That's right, Merlin, they're not safe for girls!"
To which Merlin usually replied, "Well, if you fall and break your neck, don't come crying to me..."
"... and if that is what you say to your friend, what would you say to an enemy?" Arthur laughed.
"Try to guess, and I'll tell you if you are right!" Merlin stopped climbing, motioning to Arthur, nodding that he should begin, "Come on, you can do it." He grinned which Arthur couldn't resist.
Grinning back, he ran through his mind, all the uncomplimentary things that Merlin usually called him and realised he would be on the stairs all day until he figured out which insult his disrespectful 'servant' had in mind. So, he would tear up the stairs ahead of him just to prove that the stairs were safe. His point proven, he would then sit, comfortably against the ramparts, pretending to doze until Merlin finally arrived...
"What took you so long, did you get lost on a spiral staircase, eh, Merlin?" which remark usually earned him a shove or a punch.
He loved the roofs, the windy passageways, the loftiness of the spires. They would hang over the retaining wall and look down on Camelot spying on the citizens and knights going about their daily tasks.
"Shouldn't you be down there, doing something?" Arthur would ask.
"Me? No, I have the day off as a reward for being such an excellent servant!"
"Dream on, Merlin..."
When it was clear, they could see forever, towards the distant forests with maybe a glance of the bright line delineating the sea.
Arthur would say, "You know, Merlin, I..."
But his friend always interrupted him, "Not again, Arthur, always the same thing, 'You know Merlin, I can see heaven from here'." Arthur would try to say, that had not been what he had intended but then, grin at him and smile happily, often cuffing him across the head which usually led to Merlin grabbing his arm and trying to force it up Arthur's back until he cried, "I give up!"
Arthur really did feel that he could see all the way to heaven!
Looking down, he could see the sloping lawns above the battlements, which he especially liked. Down which as a child, he used to roll and he wasn't past trying the get Merlin off his feet, so that he would tumble down as well. Uther when he saw this horse-play would scowl at Merlin who was usually the innocent party and remind Arthur of his position in life. However, Gaius whose opinion both the boys respected more, always used to smile fondly at them. He remembered being young even if Uther didn't.
When he was able, Arthur would like to go onto the battlements, to see the comings and goings in the courtyards. However, as his illness progressed, he no longer had the energy so he would sit at his window and the knights, at one time, used to have training sessions in the courtyard below so he could feel involved.
One sunny day, not long, before he died, he asked Merlin to take him out on the battlements. Gaius gave his blessing so Arthur was wrapped in his fur-lined blanket and placed in his chair. Lancelot and Sir Leon, with Merlin directing like a mother hen, carried him out. The chair was put in a sunny level corner, on the grass close to the upper wall. From there he could see over the battlements to the turrets with their flying pennants, the roofs of the west wing, even further to the surrounding hills. Merlin stood beside his chair and looked about, it was a clear day and you could see for miles.
Arthur finally said huskily, "You know, Merlin..." but his voice broke so Merlin finished for him with a catch in his voice, "... I can see heaven from here."
Merlin who was so brave, finally broke down as well. Gaining his composure, he leaned over and wiped the tears streaming down Arthur's cheeks. Sobbing, he held him, kissing him softly before sitting on the grass by his knees. They sat, in the warm sun and solitude, reminiscing of better days.
Later, Gaius on his way up to see how Arthur was faring, met a teary-eyed Lancelot, coming to get him. He led him onto the grass and stood back, Gaius felt his heart break.
Arthur was dozing in the chair. Merlin who had obviously been sitting propped against the leg of the chair was fast asleep. His head had fallen toward Arthur and come to rest on his thigh. Unconsciously, Arthur was running his fingers through Merlin's dark hair.
All Gaius could think, as he approached them was that he had sat at his mother's feet like that many years ago.
So close, closer even than two sides of the same coin. He smiled at Arthur who looked up then blinked away a tear as he bent to wake up Merlin.