"Reiner, I'm back!" Jingling keys fumbled at the knob for a few seconds before the lock turned and the door was pushed open.

"Reiner?" Christa called out as she entered but received no answer. Both the living room and kitchen were deserted, she even knocked at his bedroom door before it occurred to her. Oh yeah, he did say something about going out with Bertholdt this afternoon. They must have left already.

Humming to herself as she went up the stairs, Christa always appreciated those rare moments when she had the house to herself. And after the whole 'opening up' session with Sasha, she was looking forward to it all the more. Despite only having a single cup of coffee, Christa felt full and satisfied for some reason she couldn't explain. Right now, all she wanted to do was drift off into dream land.

Opening her bedroom door, she gave a contented sigh and stretched, immediately kicking off her shoes in the process. Pulling her blouse over her head, she wanted nothing more than to feel the gentle caress of bedsheets on her skin and the sweet embrace of her mattress envelope her.

"Ooh, a strip show!"

Christa's hands shot back down, bringing her shirt down with them of course. Her face steamed over as she gripped the hem of her blouse, almost resembling an embarrassed five year old.

"Aww, why'd you stop?" Ymir whined with genuine disappointment, laying comfortably in the girl's bed with her legs crossed over and her arms folded underneath her head.

"Ymir! Why are you here!?" Christa squeaked. "And in my room, in my bed!"

Ymir sat up at the edge of the bed with a smirk. Wordlessly she slid up and approached the girl, like a wolf descending on its prey. Giving the girl no time to react, Ymir pulled Christa's chin up and attacked her lips, grazing her teeth across the girl's bottom lip possessively. It wasn't soft like the others before it, but somehow it made her glow twice as bright before she managed to will herself to shove Ymir off of her.

"So you can resist me!" Ymir laughed, holding her stomach and wiping a non-existent tear. Of course, the brunette rarely got a chance when she could enjoy such teasing without punishment and Christa's skull near-smashing her jawline causing her to almost bite her tongue out of her mouth served as just that.

Sinking to her knees and trying not to show the fact that it felt like her brain exploded on impact, Ymir took gratification in the smug look now decorating the usually saintly girl's face. I kinda like that look for Christa. Ymir grinned weakly to herself.

"Are you gonna tell me what you're doing in here or not?" Christa spoke firmly, barely doing anything to hide the pride she felt in taking Ymir down.

"Jus-..." Ymir muttered something under her breath.

"What was that?"

Ymir growled. "Just give me some time to heal first." In addition to the skull-splitting headache she was still suffering from since early this morning, there was that jaw crushing blow delivered by a certain little blonde, and also karma biting her in the ass for all those times she made fun of Mr. Bossard and his bleeding tongue. She was just surprised she didn't get a concussion.

Christa took pride in in the fact that she was able to contain her laughter, something Ymir never quite mastered, as she strode off to the bathroom door, an extra swing in her step. "I'll take a shower while you work on that." she nearly let a chuckle slip out. Ymir deserved it after all.

~oOo~

Ymir wasn't sure what bugged her more; the fact that Christa looks totally satisfied and relaxed from the shower she just took after almost sending the brunette on a trip to the hospital, or the fact that she was in too much pain to make use of that totally opportune time to sneak a peek at the blonde in the shower. Whichever it was, Ymir was miffed. Still though, she couldn't stay mad when Christa sat her down at the edge of the bed and treated her to butterfly kisses along her jaw.

Ymir found herself a little too taken by the moment, her mouth dropping in a frown the second Christa stopped trailing her kisses. "Why'd you stop?" her irritation was slightly evident in her voice.

"Ymir, what are we?" Christa looked up at her.

Ymir paused for a second, actually biting back whatever was about to slip out of her mouth before warning. "I'll give you a chance to rephrase that before I say something stupid."

Ymir hissed silently under her breath when she received a pinch to her arm, but felt it was worth it thanks to the gentle smile that crept its way on Christa's face.

"I know we're like... well this, but I still can't tell if you're messing around or not." Christa admitted, grasping at the strength to carry out Sasha's earlier advice. "Is this serious?" she asked, motioning a hand between them as they sat together on the edge of the bed.

On cue, Ymir's fingers found their way through her hair. "Oh that's what you mean."

"I just want it to be clear." Christa bit her lip, slowly losing the sureness she brought this up with.

Ymir seemed to struggle with herself and the longer she took to answer, the more Christa would deflate beside her. Finally, she released her frustration in a groan. "Look, I'm the one that initiated all this, if anything I deserve an answer!"

"We can't both be lost with this."

Ymir looked at her for a few more moments, locking their fingers together on the bed and bringing the blonde's delicate hand up to her lips. "Then you decide. We're whatever you want us to be."

"I want us to be together." The words fell from Christa's lips before she really had the chance to think about them and she hid her embarrassment behind her free hand, half-expecting for Ymir to laugh at her. Instead she felt herself get pulled up onto the taller girl's lap and a chaste kiss get placed at the center of her forehead.

Ymir spoke in a tone that sounded totally foreign to her with a smile that was more rare as a lunar eclipse. "Then we're together."

"Are you sure that's alright though?"

Ymir was taken aback by Christa's question. "What do you mean?"

"You don't know anything about me." Christa pressed up against the taller girl's body, her hands encircling around Ymir's waist. Her head was down and nestled into the crook of Ymir's neck so the brunette, despite her best efforts, couldn't see the expression on the blonde's face. "And I don't know much about you either."

Christa felt the girl tense beneath her, well tense more than usual. "Actually, that's why I'm here." Suddenly, Christa felt the familiar chill of cold steel against her cheek and jumped off of Ymir's lap.

"What was that?" her voice was panicked.

"This." Ymir lifted a silver revolver up just in front of her chest. "This gun is one of the only two things my dad ever gave me besides a headache."

"What was the other thing?" Christa asked, still a little too uncomfortable around the weapon to sit down with the brunette.

Ymir grinned. "My name."

"Wh-why would your dad give you a gun?"

"Well, I said my dad but that's not entirely true. I didn't know either of my real parents and grew up on the streets in a town that was in an even worse condition than this one. The man that gave me my name and eventually this gun, his name was Erhard, and he raised me since I was nine up until about two years ago."

Slowly, Ymir rolled up the hem of her pants, pulling the cloth over her left leg up to her knee revealing her bandaged shin. Christa watched curiously as the brunette unraveled the white bandage, her eyes growing wide as patterns and swirls of black became visible. Before long Ymir was done, her shin decorated with a black tribal bat whose wings stretched from her foot to just below her knee.

"Fl-Fledermaus? That's their mark right?" Christa was completely baffled, her mind working to draw a few conclusions already, but none of them were ones she was willing to accept without Ymir's answer. "Why do you have a terrorist group's symbol tattooed on your leg?"

"I'm not surprised that you know about us." Ymir chuckled, spinning the gun in her hand absent-mindedly. "Well them anyway, I'm not a part of that anymore."

"In my old town, some people... got arrested on suspicion... of being involved with th- Could you please stop doing that!?" With every spin that gun did in Ymir's hand, Christa felt her heart spin just the same in her chest.

"Don't worry, it's still in safety and it's not even loaded." Ymir proved her point with a few squeezes at the trigger, much to the blonde's dismay. Christa shot her a glare that chilled Ymir down to her spine. "Fine, I'll stop."

"Thank you." Christa released a breath. "Now as I was saying-" she narrowed her eyes when Ymir groaned aloud. Shrugging off the interruption, Christa continued, her tone taking on a bit more firmness. "What do you mean you're not part of it anymore?"

"Erhard was a member, so naturally when he picked me up I joined too." Ymir shrugged like it was obvious. "They trained me like a soldier and raised me like their own. To people outside the group they were a menace, but for me they were the closest thing to family I ever had."

"I see." Christa wasn't sure how to feel about what Ymir just said. On the one hand, this was Ymir's surrogate family and one thing Christa has learned to appreciate is the value of family. Blood doesn't have anything to do with it. On the other hand, Fledermaus has caused a body count that could fill two prosperous cities easily and were responsible for more damage than any country could afford to rebuild. Then suddenly, it donned on the girl. "H-have you ever... like k-ki-killed someone?"

"Hmm, yea dozens." Ymir scratched her head in an attempt to defeat her nervous habit. "Maybe even a few hundred, I don't know." she muttered the last part.

Christa stepped back, creating a distance between her and Ymir. Rubbing her arm, nervously, she could feel herself breaking into a sweat. The petite girl swallowed but her throat was dry. "How can you not know?"

"Back then, I didn't care about anything outside of Fledermaus. Raids, bombings, those were all just work for me. Sometimes I saw the people that died, sometimes I didn't. That didn't matter. Whether I was smoking and drinking with the guys or snuffing targets out with my team, that didn't matter. I didn't know what the group's goal was, and despite how passionate Erhard was about it, that didn't matter to me either. Surviving was all I cared about and Fledermaus taught me how to do that." Ymir explained solemnly. "And I'm not the only one they saved like that either."

"There were others?" Christa's stomach turned at the thought that there were more people like Ymir who at such a young age had already become unfazed by death and killing.

Ymir locked eyes with her, golden brown orbs glimmering with a strange sort of seriousness. There wasn't even the slightest bit of humor in her face. "Yea, I trained the first group myself when they came in."

For some reason, it was like Ymir's eyes were begging her to ask a certain question, one that was difficult for Christa to ask. It wasn't the question exactly that had her soul shaking the way it did, but the answer she feared she would get. "Was there anyone that I know?" She regretted the question almost as soon as she heard herself say it.

"The first group was a total of four people, all a year younger than me. For starters, the only girl of the group was a blonde. Her name... was Annie Leonhardt-"

"Our Annie!?"

Ymir nodded before continuing. "Bertholdt Hoover-"

Christa gasped. "No way, Bertholdt too? He seems so sweet, like he couldn't hurt a fly."

"Well, he didn't do much killing. He usually worked with informants." Ymir explained with a shrug. "There was also a guy named Berik-"

"The one you and Reiner were talking about that time." Christa recalled. "Wait... you guys called him a mutual friend. And then with Annie and Bertholdt..." she connected all the clues in her head, but she didn't like what it was all pointing to.

Ymir watched the girl struggle with her own thoughts for a little over a minute before she sighed and finished the deduction for her. "The last recruit in the first group was Reiner Braun."

Instantly the girl's eyes doubled in size and her hand crept shakily to her hanging mouth. "But Reiner never told me anything about that."

"Can you honestly blame him?"

Christa thought about it for a few seconds, noticeably getting over the initial shock. "I guess not." she breathed. "Does he have the mark too? I've never seen it."

Ymir shook her head. "The first group all left before being officially accepted. Annie left in a matter of about two months. And then Reiner and Bertholdt left at the same time when the military came into town and started to crack down on Fledermaus."

"And Berik?"

There was a pause. "Berik... he died a few weeks into training."

"How?"

Ymir wiped her forehead, unsure of when she started sweating. She couldn't look Christa in the eye right now, unable to take the look the girl was giving her, like she was looking at a monster. "Berik was the kinda idiot that would ignore his limits for someone else's sake..."

"There's no way, it's impossible! We can't make it across that thing in this condition!"

"You lazy fucktard, something like this should be child's play!"

Ymir and Reiner were butting heads yet again, the other three standing around them as silent observers that have grown all too used to their little conflicts. With nothing but the clothes on their back, the four young recruits plus Ymir found themselves trekking the mountains.

"You work us hard all morning and then you expect us to swim across that!?" Reiner barked pointing towards the rushing river ahead of them.

"Are you forgetting who's fault it is we had to find a shorter route in the first place!?" Ymir bit back. "Annie overslept. Bertholdt lost our supplies. Berik fucking blacked out for an hour. And we had to go find you when you ended up running in the wrong direction!" she listed everything off, getting angrier just thinking about it all. "We're lucky we still have a little bit of sun out!"

"I was attacked by hornets! And so was Bert! And Berik ate poison berries and Annie... well..." the blond boy defended himself and the other recruits. "Anyway, there has to be another route that doesn't involve risking our lives like that."

"Then you go find it on your own." Ymir shoved him to the side and moved toward the riverside. "This is the best way I see. If you want to get killed out there when the sun goes out be my fucking guest."

Suddenly, a splash ripped everyone's attention away from the argument. In a matter of seconds, they saw a blond head of hair surface on the other side of the river as Annie pulled herself up to dry land. "There are large rocks all over. It's not entirely safe, but it's doable." she commented just loud enough for them to hear her from across the river.

Ymir grinned smugly at the boys. Reiner still wasn't convinced though. "Annie is one thing, but Berik is still recovering and I'm covered in hornet stings."

Ymir looked at the boy, unimpressed. Without any warning she shoved Bertholdt into the river. "Beanstalk, it's your turn!" she announced as the black-haired boy resurfaced in a panic. "You're next, Berik."

Berik looked at her, his face riddled with doubt. "I don't know if I can handle it right now. I don't think I'm one-hundred percent yet."

"No time for thinking!" and just like that Ymir shoved Berik into the river and was already eying the last target.

Reiner stepped back. "No way in hell are you pushing me in like that."

The freckled girl rolled her eyes. "Fine then, die out here." Without sparing him a second glance, Ymir dove into the currents just as Bertholdt and Berik was pulling themselves up on the other side.

As she fought the surprisingly strong currents, Ymir smirked to herself when she faintly heard another splash come from behind her. Swimming was always one of her fortes since Erhard loved mountain terrains so much, and with mountains came rivers. Crossing the river and avoiding the rocks was almost too easy a task. Reemerging just as quickly as Annie did, Ymir turned with full intent to tease Reiner about his change of heart.

"Reiner's caught on something!" she heard Berik announce just before jumping back in, giving Ymir no time to react.

The brunette girl wasn't all too happy with this setback, cursing Erhard in the back of her mind for giving her this job in the first place. After a long few moments of panicked splashing, Reiner eventually made his way to the three that awaited him on land. He flopped in on his belly and laid there for awhile, panting and choking up water. Reiner retched out about three good gutfuls of water before collapsing into a tired mess against the dirt.

"Why isn't Berik back yet?" Bertholdt observed, scanning the river's surface but finding no signs of the boy's presence in its waters. His stomach turned at the possibilities. "Y-you don't th-think he's-"

Not giving the boy time to finish his sentence, Ymir dove back into the water, her head bobbing up to the surface every so often to examine the water around her. Minutes crept by and the three recruits on the ground were all growing anxious in their own ways. Bertholdt sat pressed against the trunk of a large tree, tears already escaping his eyes even though he was trying his hardest to push them back. Reiner was calling out to Berik and was using all his strength to keep himself from jumping back in. Annie sat quietly by the riverside with an emotionless expression, casting her eyes lazily over the surface of the river, awaiting any signs of the two.

There was very little sunlight left when Ymir finally came swimming back to the land, obviously being dragged down by something beneath the surface. "Stand back!" Ymir barked as she pulled herself out of the water, dragging something up behind her.

It was Berik. Lifeless, motionless Berik.

Bertholdt immediately ran over to his friend's body in disbelief, frantically searching for some small sign of life. Meanwhile as Ymir struggled to her feet, Reiner caught her by her collar and pulled her the rest of the way up. "This is your fault! I swear to God Ymir, if Berik doesn't make it-"

"He's already dead you idiot." Ymir pulled his large hands off of her and shoved him to the side. She cursed under her breath as she took in her surroundings. "Dammit, I wasted too much time with that, now the sun's down."

Reiner looked at her incredulously before his face screwed with anger. He stomped. "That's it? You don't care that he's dead!?"

Ymir didn't bother turning to face the boy and continued into the mountains, Annie following not too far behind. "This is Fledermaus. If you can't handle death then maybe you shouldn't be here."

Reiner grit his teeth furiously, his eyes darting down to look at Bertholdt as he broke down in tears over the corpse of their friend. "Maybe I shouldn't." he spat, but continued behind Ymir.

"Reiner hasn't trusted me since."

Christa stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity to Ymir. The way Christa hung onto every word, the way she seemed to analyze every sentence in her mind, that puzzling expression she wore that Ymir couldn't figure out, it all made her nervous. The quiet was suffocating her and it showed no signs of letting up soon. What the hell do I say now? Am I supposed to sit here and wait for her to say something? Shit, this is irritating! Ymir was so wrapped in her own thoughts, she didn't notice her fingers running shakily through her hair.

"So... that's why you and Reiner are always fighting? Because he blames you for Berik's death?" Ymir wasn't sure if those sounded more like questions or just her observations.

"No matter how you look at it, it is my fault Berik died." the brunette admitted with a sigh. "But it's not like it was something anyone could see coming. I did what I thought was best. I'm not gonna beat myself up over it." Honestly, Ymir impressed herself. She spoke clearly and sounded convincing enough despite the fact that she was shaking on the inside. "Now you know my secret."

Ymir always found Christa's babbling to be somewhat annoying but she quickly found that she much rather that than to be tortured with the girl's silence. Christa was a girl that was always thinking, analyzing things around her, and to not have even the slightest clue what was going through the blonde's mind was actually kind of scary.

Christa's eyes cast down to the floor and she rubbed her arm. She was noticeably sweating. "S-so I guess it's my turn now."

Oh, the order. Ymir recalled the discussion on the roof that day. "Don't worry about it."

"B-but you said... you ordered-"

"It doesn't have to be right after." Ymir stood up from the bed. "I'm exhausted and the day's barely even out yet." she spoke with a stretch as she headed for the door. Besides, I doubt you're ready to say anything anyway. You look like you'll pass out any second now.

Just as Ymir's hand turned the knob, she felt a pair of arms encircle her waist, firmly holding her in her place. "Sorry, I'm not ready to tell you yet... but just give me a little more time. Please."

"I'll wait."

Ymir could feel Christa's head press against her back, her arms falling slightly around her. "We're still together right?"

"As long as that's still what you want."

Christa nodded and let her arms drop to her side, taking a step back from Ymir. "Of course it is." she breathed.

Ymir grinned, releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding. Turning around and resting her hand on Christa's head, she made a mess of the girl's hair. "Get loads of rest this weekend, you better show me that my training was actually worth shit!"

Satisfied with herself, Ymir left, but not before catching the goofy smile Christa had on her face. It was somewhat forced, but genuine enough to make the brunette happy.

As Christa headed back over to her bed she could faintly hear Ymir's heavy steps go down the stairs and head out the door. From the lone window in her room, she watched the girl lock the house gate and head in the direction of the bus stop.

Sighing to herself, the blonde drew the curtains. She looked over to her bed, this mental weariness becoming a trend she was becoming too used to. Pulling the sheets back, she slid into the small bed but a heavy pressure lying on her chest prevented her from resting. It was impossible to keep her eyes closed for more than a few seconds and the ball sitting in the center of her chest just got more uncomfortable the more she tried to find comfort.

Christa hesitantly got back up, deciding it was better than just laying there. It didn't bother her that she couldn't get to sleep, this wasn't anything new for her. For as long as she could remember, restful nights were just a dream she'd never achieve, either being unable to get her eyes closed or being awakened by violent nightmares, in her head or otherwise.

There was one tried and true method that always put her at ease since childhood. Moving over to the drawer, her finger glided across the fine wood of the frame that sat face down on the surface of the bureau. Lifting the picture frame and holding it to her chest, she immediately felt it lightening the burden in her chest, breathing out a sigh of relief. Without thinking, she began to hum under her breath and retreat back to her bed.

Tucking her head into the pillow, her voice snuck past the folds of her lips. The melody in her breath began lulling her to sleep under the guise of a voice that was not her own. Her eyes shut tight to block out the world around her, wafting her into the memory buried deep in her mind. There, her pillow became a lap, frigid yet strangely warm beneath the skin of her cheek. Her room was engulfed in absolute darkness but she didn't fear it. There was no need for a blanket or sheet as a weak hand traveled along her small frame carrying the same strange but pleasant feel as the lap beneath her. The words of a hushed melody took over her senses and dulled the pain in her aching body. Knowing so clearly the words of the lullaby, she repeated them to herself, the voice that enveloped her slowly fading away.

May you bring love and may you bring happiness
Be loved in return to the end of your days
Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you
I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay

She felt the tears that escaped her eyes stain the cloth beneath her but she dared not open them. Instead she gripped onto the fabric beneath her hand, still clutching the frame to her chest. She whispered to herself, her voice shaky and weak. "Soon."

~oOo~

Author's Note: The lullaby lyrics are from the song "Sleepsong" by Secret Garden.