"Mer?" He called as he put his junk down at the door. He didn't get an answer. She had to be home. Her car was in the driveway. "Mer."
He walked up the stairs.
"Meredith." He called again once he got to the top of the steps. The door of the room where Katie was staying was cracked open. He walked down to it and pushed it open a little. Katie was still asleep in the bed. He took a step in and looked around. Meredith was sitting in the corner with her knees up near her chest. Her head was rested on the wall, and her elbow was propped up in her knee. Her hand was near her chin. It almost look like she was chewing on her little finger nail. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Every once in a while, she would wipe her eyes.
"Meredith?" He whispered. She looked over and the light fell onto her face. "Mer, what's wrong?"
She turned and looked at Katie, not answering his question.
"Mer, talk to me." He whispered walking over. "Come on." He put on his hand. She looked at it for a second before taking in and following him to her room. "Now, what's wrong, Mer?"
She wiped her eyes and flopped back onto the bed. "How the hell did I fuck up this bad?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why did I have to get breast cancer?" She sobbed. "Why did I have to get on a plane? I'm all alone, Alex. I don't have anyone anymore. All I have is Katie and… you. Christina, Izzie, and George can't even look at me. I don't know how to even begin to explain anything to Mark. I want to have to old days back, when we were friends. And I had Mark. I love Katie with all my heart, but I am a terrible mother. She's going to grow up like me. She's going to have trust issues. Commitment issues. I don't want her to grow up like me. I try to make her so happy and she doesn't understand there's a whole other life she doesn't know about. One, she might not know. And when I started my internship and was all close to you guys. I thought that if I had kids they would all be here for me. But how can they when I run away whenever I have a fucking problem. And all this running… it's killing me. It's killing me. And I made a stupid mistake turning my back on the best thing I ever had going for me." By now, she's gasping for air through the sobs. "I don't know what to do anymore, Alex. I don't know what to do."
Alex looked down at her for a second before sitting beside her.
"Mer, you're not a terrible mother. Katie loves you and you love her. The others are being… assholes. Don't worry. They'll come around. And, as for Mark, talk to him again. Tell him what needs to be said. If he walks away. It's his loss. But he loves you. He's not going to walk away." He kissed her forehead. "And you'll always have me."
She eventually fell asleep and he slipped out to go to his room.