AN: Okay, here is your next chapter. There is a bit of a crisis, but you all know me, everything will be okay! This chapter takes place about six or so weeks after the last chapter. And also- I don't know anything about medicine so please don't go commenting on my bad medical jargon or wrong prognosis's. Ya'll know that that's not what is the most important part of the story! Again, thanks for reading my fic!
I step outside into the ambulance bay, the fresh air sweeping over my face and into the crevices between my skin and my clothing as I make my way through the parking structure to my car. The summer is almost over and it's starting to cool down again; the days becoming shorter, the night sky creeping over Chicago a little bit earlier these last couple of days. Children are returning to school and things around the hospital are starting to settle into a steady rhythm; well as steady as you can get in an emergency room. I am finally completely settled in here, my house full of furniture now and Lexi is starting her new school tomorrow. Luckily she was accepted to the same school that Jake goes to; it's so perfect for all of us.
Driving home my thoughts turn to Abby. I missed her today. It was the first day in a long time that I worked a whole shift without her being there working with me. It was weird without her around the hospital, not getting to see her pretty face, her bangs hanging in her eyes. I love to just watch her work, to take a couple seconds to glance over at her. Even when she is at the complete other end of the hospital, I somehow always seem to know where she is, I sense her presence, I can smell her. She knows I watch her. It's this little game we play, sneaking glances and smiles at one another; I think she likes it. Every day I fall deeper in love with Abby and everyday I think about when I can finally tell her that. It's only been a couple of months since we started dating, but ever since then I can't seem to get through a day without her. I love her. I need her. I can't figure out how I went so long without the love and affection that I get on a daily basis. How did I spend seven years starved of affection?
I turn the corner and my phone rings loudly on the center console. I smile to myself as I look at the caller ID. Speak of the devil, it's the princess herself.
"I missed you today" I pick up the phone cheerfully, excited to hear my girlfriend's voice.
"You did" It sounds like she's in a good mood too.
"I did"
"You guys getting ready for school tomorrow?"
"In bed by nine o'clock"
"Me too" I smile at the thought of her tucking Jake into bed tonight. I love how amazing she is with her baby.
"You want to meet for breakfast after dropping off the kids?"
"Sure, uh, meet me at the flag pole at like eight thirty?"
"I'll see you then"
I place a kiss on Lexi's cheek before walking out of her new classroom to look for the flag pole where I'm supposed to meet Abby. I walk down a path through ivy covered archways, admiring the beautiful grounds of our new private school. Looking around I spot Abby from far away sitting at the base of the tall flagpole, her long golden hair blowing in the new autumn wind. I stop and lean against a bench under the archway, wanting to watch her for a moment before I meet her. This is the best time to look at her, when she doesn't know I'm watching, when her guard is completely down and all I can see is true beauty. I can't help that I am so enamored with her, it's like there's a magnetic force that pulls me to her; I can't control it. A few minutes later I push off of the bench, smiling as I make my way up to her from behind. I reach her and gently place my hands on her shoulders, running them down her arms and leaning over to kiss her cheek as she looks up at me.
"Hi" I kiss her more, turning her face towards me for the real deal.
"Hi" She smiles as I let her go, sitting down next to her. "How was Lexi's teacher, did you meet her?"
"Yea, she seemed really nice and I think Lexi liked her a lot . . .She wanted you to come meet her too."
"Well I'll go meet her tomorrow when I pick up the kids from school."
I smile as I think about Abby going to meet Lexi's teacher. I wonder if she'll introduce herself as my girlfriend. I wonder what Abby will tell the teacher when she asks what type of relationship she has with my daughter. In the last couple of months Abby and Lexi have grown incredibly close; Abby basically treats her like she is her own. We help each other so much with our children, but we like to, it isn't a chore, we want to do it. We want to be a family, at least that's the impression I get. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by Abby's smiling face, snapping her hands in front of my eyes.
"Hey, earth to John!"
"Sorry"
"What are you thinking?"
"Oh, nothing . . .I put you down as an emergency contact"
"Ha?" She looks confused, my statement was pretty random.
"You know, on all the forms you have to fill out . . . Under uh, 'significant other'"
"Oh, yea, I put you down too" I smile at that, I love that.
"You did?"
"Yep" The school bell rings and I pull Abby up to sit her on my lap just to get her as close to me as possible. I wrap her in my arms, kissing her neck, smiling into her shoulder before I speak.
"I like that"
"What?"
"Significant other"
"What do you think about 'girlfriend'?"
"How about 'the most beautiful sexiest girlfriend'"
"I don't think they had a section for that on the emergency contact form" She's joking around and smiling; there is nothing I like more than seeing this woman smile. I stand us up and pull Abby's hand behind me. "Come on sexy girlfriend, I'm starving"
An hour later Abby and I walk into the hospital, our fingers intertwined, no longer worried about hiding our relationship from our co-workers. Everybody knows by now that Abby is getting divorced and that we are together. It took a lot of looks for a while and a lot of people asking 'Isn't she married?' until the word got out that she was recently separated but also recently taken, by me. After dropping our stuff off in the lounge we both pick up our first charts and travel into opposite directions to start a busy shift.
I walk past the admit desk half way through my shift, throwing a chart into the dispo basket and picking up another. I walk into curtain area three to assess my next patient when suddenly my pager goes off, vibrating against my side. I pick it up and expect to see four numbers, ones that would direct me to a section of the hospital where I am in need. There are seven numbers though lit up on the screen, seven numbers that I don't recognize. I walk past my patient and pick up the phone on the wall, dialing the number quickly, half expecting that who ever paged probably got the wrong number.
"Briarwood School" I hear the words and a wave of panic rushes over me. Something must have happened to Lexi!
"Yes, this is John Carter, I got a page. Is there something wrong with my daughter?"
"Um, no Dr. Carter, our page is concerning Jake Lockhart. We tried to reach his mother but we didn't get an answer." My eyes dart around the hospital looking for Abby in every direction. I am just as panicked as I was when I thought that my own child was hurt.
"What happened? Is he okay?"
"An ambulance just picked him up; he fell off of the jungle gym in the play yard."
"How high up was he? Did he loose consciousness? What hospital are they taking him to?"
"I think county general sir"
"Thanks"
I hang up on the receptionist and dart out of the room, franticly looking for Abby. I spot her across the hospital through the glass on the double doors of trauma one. She's working on what looks like a critical patient. I run toward the trauma room, passing Luka and then turning around quickly, reaching back for his arm as an idea enters my mind.
"Hey Luka, I need you to come cover for Abby. It's an emergency"
"What's wrong Carter?" I run toward the trauma room, Luka running behind me.
"Her son's hurt. I need to pull her out of that trauma"
The two of us burst through the doors to the trauma room, and for a second I stop to think about how I am going to tell Abby that her son is hurt. Luka steps up to Abby and gently pushes her to the side as I approach her from the other and grab her arm firmly.
"Abby, I need you. I got Luka to cover for you"
"What?" She looks up from her patient confused.
"Just go Abby" Luka firmly orders her. She drops what she's doing and lets him step in, looking at me with a questioning stare, unsure of what's going on. I walk her out of the trauma and grab her hand, steadying her in case she freaks out when I tell her what happened.
"The school paged me, Jake fell off of the jungle gym in the playground."
"What?! What! Shit! It's the first fucking day of school!" She grabs her pager out her pocket and runs to the phone, panicked. I grab her arm before she can get too far, trying to communicate that she doesn't have to call the school because Jake is on his way over here already.
"No, no, no, come on, ambulance bay, they're bringing him here right now" She turns around and runs out the doors along side of me. "Didn't you get a page?" I ask her as I look over at her, noticing her eyes starting to get teary.
"I was in trauma, I didn't recognize the number" Her tone is harsh and panicked.
The rig pulls up and Abby and I both run up to it pounding on the back doors for them to open up quicker. A second later a tech opens the back and jumps out as Abby jumps in, tears streaming down her face. I hop in behind her, holding onto her, realizing that she probably shouldn't work on her own son.
"Jake! Jakey can you hear me?! Jakey open your eyes baby! Jake?!" She looks up at me as I grab the gurney, pushing it off the truck, checking Jakes vitals as he lays silently unconscious.
"How long has he been out?" I ask before the tech gives me the bullet. It seems that he hit his head quite hard.
The gurney smashes through the trauma room doors as Dr. Chen joins us to help out, Abby barking out orders before we even get a chance to transfer poor Jake onto the bed. I have Deb run the trauma, knowing that Abby shouldn't even be here. I grab her hand and push her away from the gurney, trying to escort her out the doors as she fights me off.
"No, no, no, John, no, let me stay, John let me stay" She's hysterical and cant possibly be any help to her son at this point. I win this one, seeing that I am stronger than she is, although she's putting up an excellent fight. I push the doors open and grab her shoulders, her chest heaving out as she tries to catch her breath. I reach to grab her face quickly, making her focus on me for just a second.
"Abby do you trust me?" She looks in through the glass and then back at me, still shaking uncontrollably, but she manages to shake her head yes.
"Then let me take care of Jake" I say it gently, making her look me in the eyes, wanting her to truly understand and trust that I am going to help her child. She shakes her head yes again, wiping her tears away as I run back into the trauma room.
A half hour later Deb and I have gotten Jake stabilized before I wave Abby in from where she's standing outside watching us. She enters the room and walks quietly up to the bed, taking Jakes hand in hers and kissing it lightly.
"Baby, Jakey . . . You have to wake up now angel" When Jake doesn't move, she looks up at me, communicating that she wants to hear his prognosis.
"He was slipping in an out of consciousness for a little while but I think he'll come around soon. There are no superficial lacerations but it looks like he's got a wrist fracture." I hold the x-ray up to light for Abby to see the fracture. She looks up quickly and shakes her head at me, communicating that she's hearing everything I'm saying even though her eyes divert right back to Jake. I watch her as a tear escapes down her cheek, her eyes bloodshot and tired from the all the work they've been doing. I move to cover her hand with mine, wanting so badly to comfort her right now, but somehow I think that she doesn't want that. I look down at Jake and then up at her, squeezing her hand again.
"Did you call Trent?" I ask gently.
"Yea, he's on his way"
"Well we'll take Jake to CT after he gets here"
She shakes her head as I turn to the wall to look at the x-ray again, trying to determine the best course of action for Jakes wrist fracture. It's going to be easiest to set this while he's still unconscious. I pull out the tools I am going to need and immediately start working on Jakes cast. I pick a new print that we just got in, a camouflage gauze wrap, he'll probably love that. I move to the other side of the bed and sit next to Abby, rubbing her back for a moment before dipping the gauze into the plaster. I work in silence, listening to Abby talk to Jake as she strokes over his hair.
"Your daddy's on his way over baby. He'll be here real soon."
A couple minutes later I look up from my work, noticing a man in a suit standing at the glass double doors. I look over at Abby as she gets up and walks towards Trent, a pang of jealously shooting through my body. He gets to comfort her now. I just saved her son, and he gets to comfort her. I shake my head out and look at Jakes peaceful little face, chiding myself for being immature. This is Jakes father; he has every right to be here with his family.
Looking back down to continue my work on Jakes wrist, I can't help but notice Abby and Trent out of the corner of my eye. He's hugging her. Her head is buried in his neck; his arms are wrapped around her back tightly. I turn my head more to look over their way, making sure that I'm not too obvious. He's whispering something in her ear and rubbing her back. I cringe at the sight of this. I know it's not a big deal, but I can't help it anyway. I don't want any other men touching my girlfriend like that, not even the father of her son. I have to be understanding here though. This is Jakes father, the closest link to her son, and Jake is hurt right now, and what feels best for Abby is being close to the man that created him with her, a man that looks just like her son. I get it, I really do, but I still don't like it. I continue to stare, unable to pull my eyes away from them, but then they start to turn around and I see that Trent has spotted me watching. I look away quickly, trying to make it seem that I just so happened to be looking that way for a brief moment, but he probably knows that that wasn't the case. I wonder if Abby has told him that I'm her boyfriend. I wonder if he knows that it's me.
He looks into the trauma room at Jake and for the first time I notice his eyes. They are piercing green, like his sons. I never thought I could see those eyes looking so harsh; on Jake they are warm and innocent, on this man they're uninviting and almost intimidating. The door opens and Trent walks in behind Abby. I look back at Jake and think for a second that I should leave the room and let them be alone with their son. I move to walk out, crossing over Abby and Trent and suddenly I feel a hand on my arm, pulling me back to the side of the gurney. I turn around and look at Abby who is folding my hand into hers, holding me next to her. She squeezes my hand and looks up at me, her big brown eyes silently asking me to stay.
"Trent, you remember John Carter" She croaks out the words, all her energy exerted from her earlier panic. Trent extends his hand to shake mine but looks at me wearily, I think confused for a minute. He might not remember meeting me and it looks like the wheels in his head are turning, placing me at the birthday party where he met me, probably putting two and two together to figure out that I'm the doctor that's doing his ex. This is uncomfortable, but Abby doesn't seem fazed by it, probably because her main concern is her unconscious son lying on the bed in front of us.
"Did you treat my son?" Trent asks hurriedly.
"Yes, uh . . . he's got a wrist fracture and is still unconscious, but his spontaneous eye movement suggests that he's probably going to wake up sometime soon. We're going to take him to have a cat scan when you're done visiting"
"Thanks"
I look up at him and shake my head, noticing him look down at Jake and then over at Abby's hand clasped with mine. I don't pull away from her but it feels awkward, especially when I notice out of the corner of my eye that Trent is looking from Abby to me. I don't acknowledge this though; actually I continue to look down at Jake, pretending that I didn't notice that Trent is figuring us out.
"Can we have a moment alone with our son?"
Abby looks up at Trent with a harsh expression, surprised that he would ask me to leave, but I don't take offence. It's not like I expect this guy to like me. I don't like him either, in fact I hate him for the way he treated my girlfriend. I despise him, but my professional demeanor would never suggest that. I know how to control my angry feelings and I know when it's an appropriate time to show them. He probably doesn't even want to be alone with Jake; I bet he's asking me to leave because he wants to be alone with Abby. He's probably going to use Jake being hurt as an opportunity to get close to her while she's vulnerable. I cringe at he thought of him putting his hands on her right when I leave and it kills me that I can't do anything about it.
Abby looks at me with a soft expression and lets my hand go, silently apologizing for Trents request. I walk out through the double doors and glance one last time at the two of them through the glass windows. I really hope he doesn't try anything with her, I hope he doesn't touch my girlfriend. He might have been married to her for a while but he isn't anymore and it isn't his right to touch her like he used to. Not even if she is upset and vulnerable. For some reason I can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at her. I know that look, its kind of the way I used to look at her. The look of longing, the look that says, 'I wish you were mine'. I don't blame him though; I can't even believe he ever let her go. What was he thinking?
An hour and a half later I walk up the stairs to Jakes room. I think by now I have given the family enough alone time. Not that I'm upset about it, but I do think that it would be appropriate to comfort my girlfriend now and be with her and Jake. Lifting the chart from the basket on the door, I study it closely, reading Chens notes that there was no damage found in the CAT scan. Relieved, I open the door slowly, half expecting to find Trent sitting with Abby in his arms. I don't know why, I just can't stop imagining it and I have clearly blown this out of proportion by now. I look around the room, a little surprised that he isn't here. It's just Abby, in a chair next to the bed, her head resting on Jakes good arm; she is peacefully sleeping. I walk up behind her and gently rub my hand down her back, urging her to wake up a little bit. Her eyes flicker a bit and before she opens them she stretches out her back, taking in a sleepy breath. I kneel down next to her and kiss her forehead, my face at her level now.
"Hi"
"Hi" Her voice is raspy, laced with sleep.
"When did Trent leave?"
"A long time ago. Where have you been?"
"I wanted to give you guys some time . . . I thought he would be here longer" She shakes her head no and stands up, grabbing my arm and guiding me onto the chair. She then sits back down, curling herself onto my lap, into my body like she is trying to crawl inside of me. I pull my arms around her and hug her closer, kissing the top of her head and rubbing down her back.
"I'm glad you're here" She whispers it into the air, but I hear it loud and clear and I can't help but smile.
A few minutes of silence go by as we sit peacefully holding each other. I can feel Abby's heart still pounding rapidly, she is still shaky and I can tell that she's trying to control her anxiety as her body vibrates against my chest. I pull my arms even tighter around her, holding her body to mine, trying to squeeze out her nervous shaking.
"You know he's gonna be okay"
"I just want him to wake up John . . . He shouldn't be out for this long."
"I know sweetie . . . Lets just give it a little longer"
She shakes her head into my neck as I feel a small tear drop softly onto my chest. I lift my hands up to her head and turn her face to look up at me, her wet eyes shinning like glass, reflecting the light from the lamp at Jakes bedside. I look down at her and make eye contact, sweeping her bangs out of her face before I whisper to her.
"You know, you look beautiful when you're crying. . . I noticed that the day after I met you, when you were in the lounge hugging Susan . . . you were crying."
"I must look awful" She sniffles a little and wipes the tears out of her eyes, a little bit self conscious, but I move her hands away.
"No" I shake my head at her and finger her jaw line, moving my thumb to her lips. "I think you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"
After discharging my last patient I turn to the board and notice that it has been completely cleared. It's almost midnight and the hospital has turned into a ghost town, which is great for me because I can finally go upstairs to visit with Jake and Abby. I climb up the stairs slowly dragging my feet, the stress of this day weighing heavily on my body; I can barely make it up the stairs. I open the door and find what I did when I came up here previously, Abby sleeping soundly next to Jake who is also still asleep. I move over to her and kiss her cheek, Abby stirring lightly at my touch.
"Don't you think you should go home and get some sleep?" I offer, even though I know she wouldn't leave Jake.
"I don't want to go anywhere." She says it with her eyes closed, still half asleep. I take a couple steps away from her as she looks up at me, silently asking me where I am going.
"I'll be right back"
I walk down the hall to the storage closet and grab a fold-out cot along with some sheets and a couple of pillows. Walking back to Jakes room, I stop and pick up the phone on the wall to call down to the ER to tell Jerry that I am going to take an extended break. I open the door and walk in with the cot and I see something today that I haven't seen in way too long, a smile. Its small, but Abby's lips curl up just enough to pass as a little smile. I walk over to the side of Jakes bed and unfold the cot, covering it with a few sheets and throwing the pillows on top of it. I then walk back over to Abby and grab her hand, pulling her up from the chair and bringing her over to the bed that I made her. She's like a baby doll right now, letting me lead her and take care of her. I think she's too out of it to do anything for her self right now.
Sitting her down, I take her shoes off and then reach for the pair of fresh scrubs that I grabbed for her. I move my fingers to the hem of her shirt and she instinctively lifts her arms over her head for me to pull it off of her. I drape her shirt over a chair and reach behind her to unclasp her bra, pulling it down her arms and off of her body, before pulling the clean scrub top over her head. She then lifts her hips off the bed for me to take her pants off. All the while we are silent, the glow of the street lights creeping in through the shudders on the windows. I pull the scrub bottoms up to her hips and get up to close the shudders, the blackness of night masking the cold and sterile room. Moving over to the cot, I lie down next to Abby, pulling her into my arms, holding her close to me. She stirs a little before she gets comfortable, facing me, her head resting in the crevice of my neck.
"John?"
"Yea?"
"Thank you . . . for being here. . . for everything . . .for taking care of Jake. . . just . . .thank you"
"Abby" I pause for a second. What I really want to say is that I'd do anything for her because I love her. But I just can't say it now; it's not the right time. So I decide to only give half the answer that I wanted to. "Abby, I would do anything for you."
"You would?"
"Yes I would" It's on the tip of my tongue and I'm doing everything that I can not to blurt it out. I have to do it; I have to tell her, now-
"Abby, I –
"Mommy?" The words are half way out of my mouth when we both hear Jakes little voice coming from the bed next to us. We Jump up quickly, Abby is at his bedside before I could blink my eyes.
"Jake, baby, hi baby" I turn on the bedside lamp just in time to see Abby kissing her sons forehead, a huge smile on her face. I could almost see the weight being lifted from her shoulders.
"Mommy, I have a headache"
"I know angel. John and I are gonna make you feel better though. We were waiting all day for you to wake up"