Disclaimer: For the love of everything holy, I don't own Harry Potter. I may own copies all the books and movies, but that's where it ends.
Monday, November 9, 1998
She couldn't quell the turbulence raging within her heart. The anger had already taken her captive, and she was done fighting it. Instead of keeping it at bay she let it drive her forward, down the hall and as far away from Ron as she could get.
She just couldn't believe what she'd heard come out of his mouth. Sure, she'd been witness to his spats and he was known to cause a ruckus with his quick temper, but when the insults were being thrown her way it was different. She didn't realize how much his words could affect her.
She'd gone in there knowing he'd be upset. She'd gone knowing he'd be angry; knowing he'd despise her even. She'd been prepared for all that. It was only natural. He had no inkling of what was going on and she'd just come and turned his world upside down.
Denial. Anger. Hurt. She'd known it would end that way. She'd told him she was having another man's child. His rival's child. Anyone normal person would want to punch a hole through the wall. She'd half expected him to do just that. But what she hadn't expected, and had no idea how to prepare for, was the verbal attack against Malfoy.
For once in her life, she'd been near speechless. And she couldn't even fathom the reason why.
What he'd said was true. Draco had been a Death Eater. He had killed people, and he was still just as snarky, arrogant, and pigheaded as ever. There was no denying that, but when Ron had chosen to point out all the other boys flaws, she'd snapped. Ron didn't know, he couldn't know, what she felt when she was with Malfoy. She'd seen another side of him, one she was sure no one else had the privilege to see, even Blaise. Hermione had gotten a glimpse of the Draco inside the Malfoy, and she couldn't forget him.
When she closed her eyes she could still see the broken boy; drunk and alone on the floor, wishing his life hadn't taken this turn. She could still feel the tension in his arms, and the reluctance in his voice as he told her how he'd crucio'd and murdered people. She could feel the guilt almost rippling off of him. And in the end, after all the pain and anger he'd shown her, he smiled. He'd smiled at her. He'd taken her in his warm embrace and made her feel alive. He'd let that Malfoy exterior melt away and he'd shown her Draco. The one that had a heart. The one that laughed at the irony of it all. The one that kissed her passionately and let her cry on his chest. The one that held a warmth in his eyes that he tried to hide when he was looking at her.
None of them could imagine the things she felt when she saw him. When she saw his face, no matter what expression he wore -be it contempt, indifference, or annoyance, - she knew there was more to him. There had to be. The moments they shared, however brief and fleeting, were real.
And nothing Ron said would change that.
He could still see her dark silhouette retreating down the hall ahead of him. "Hermione!" Harry called out her name, but she didn't turn back. "Hermione, I know you can hear me! Stop!"
She didn't.
Instead, she kept her pace, face forward in an almost sprint towards the staircase.
He knew she was hurting. How could she not be? Ron had never been quite as graceful with his words as the rest of them.
Harry understood why he'd reacted that way. He was angry, resentful, and hurt. He also knew that Ron didn't mean half the things he'd said, but he'd still said them. He didn't know what he'd done when he'd turned Hermione away. She wasn't stable right now. The level headed witch who nit picked and planned out everything to the tiniest detail, was no longer here. She was just as hot headed and reckless as they were. Now was not the time to be calling each other names. They had to figure this out, for Hermione's sake.
Harry wasn't going to stand by and let his best friend be lost to him forever. He had to talk to them. He had to make them see reason. If they kept fighting like this everything would fall apart.
"Hermione!" He repeated, louder this time. "Let's talk about this." He caught up to her quickly, and grabbed her arm.
She spun around to face him, pulling her arm out of his grasp in the process. "There's nothing to talk about."
"Listen, Ron's just angry right now. He'll come around. He always does."
"This time is different, Harry. Did you see his face? He won't get over this in a drop of a bloody hat! And what about my feelings? He can't just say what he damn well wants. I'm through with his double standards."
How could he make her understand? "You were both angry. It won't be like this forever. Give it a week and you'll see."
"You and I both knew this wouldn't work out in a positive manner." She replied sadly. "I was naïve to think otherwise."
"No, you weren't. There's hope still."
"For what, Harry? For him to forgive me?" Her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears, tears she was trying so desperately to hide. "Or for me to crawl back to him on my hands and knees; apologizing over and over again for something I'm not entirely sure I'm sorry about?"
He shook his head. That is not what he'd been trying to say at all. "No one is telling you to do that. I'm just saying that we should calm down a bit. Think things through. He'll realize his mistakes. It was wrong of him to say those things about you."
"No, it wasn't." She sighed, glancing down the hallway. "Most of what he said was true. I did betray him. I betrayed you both. I can overlook those things."
"Then what's the bloody problem?" He asked, locking eyes with her. "Why did you storm off?"
Her eyes, her face, and even the muscles in her arms softened. "I realize you have no way of knowing, but Malfoy isn't the monster you both make him out to be."
It was beginning to sink in. "Where were you going, Hermione?" He asked. "When you left?"
She gave him a puzzled look. "I was going back to my dorm."
He could tell she was lying. He could see the violence in her eyes. Ron had just given her every reason to run away. "You were going to him weren't you?"
"What's it matter to you?" She asked, her anger suddenly returning. "The last time I checked you were my friend, not my mother."
"That's lovely coming from you. I just helped you break the news to-"
"I know! I know you helped me. I know you want to help me, but there are some things that you can't help me with."
"Be that as it may, going to Malfoy is not the answer." He said with a shake of his head. "You may think he's changed, but I don't believe that for a second. He's not good for you."
"Don't." She warned through gritted teeth. "Don't act like you know everything."
"I know enough." He replied rather harshly. "I know that he's up to something and I don't trust him with you. Just because Ron's being a wanker doesn't mean you have to rush back to Malfoy. He doesn't love you. Not like we do."
"Yes, you both love me so much." She mocked. "That's why you practically crucified me the moment you learned I was shagging Malfoy!"
"I was shocked! That's all. And who wouldn't be? This is insane!"
"Insane? Yes. I'm quite the nutter now, aren't I?"
Harry knew it was pointless now. He was fighting a losing battle. Anything he said would be twisted around. "That's not what I meant and you know it."
She frowned.
"I care about you, Hermione. I'm your best friend, and I don't want you to get hurt because you put your trust in the wrong person."
The last thing she said before she disappeared down that hall was, "Who are you to tell me who to trust?"
To say that Draco had devised a plan would be selling him short. He hadn't come up with a single plan, he'd taken the time and energy to muster up at least four. While Hermione was playing hide and seek with him and the Weasel, he was getting headaches running endless scenarios through his sleep deprived mind. He'd taken many things into consideration, including if her decision was to remain with Weasley or in the event that his father was to find out about their little transgression.
Plan A left him without the responsibility of the infant. He'd have no name claim on the child and would most likely stay out of its life altogether. This would happen in Hermione's fairy tale world, one where sodding Weasley would step in and raise the child as his own. He knew it would be the best case scenario all around. No one would get hurt and there would be no sticky mess to clean up. He would be off the hook and his father none the wiser. Though he would probably see to it that the child would want for nothing. After all, he was the biological father.
Where Plan A had him completely out of the picture, Plan B had him in the child's life but with a bit of room to breathe. This would apply if Hermione wanted nothing to do with either man. Knowing her, this would probably be what happened. She was far to independent and stubborn to rely on anyone but herself. Not that he blamed her. He would be hesitant in her shoes too.
Plan C, he shan't dare admit, was his heart's desire. In his perfect world, it works out fine. But he knew there was no room for wishful thinking. Even if she came to him, asked for his help, even if this was what they both wanted, it would be risky. A relationship between the two of them was Plan C. To live with them, to support them, to play the role as "father", was the sweetest and the most dangerous choice. One he knew he would never be up to him. For one she'd never go for it. And there was also the fact that the wizardry world would never let them be.
And then there was a plan when all others failed.
Plan D.
If Lucius Malfoy, or any other wizard or witch, with the intentions to end all muggle born bloodlines, were to get wind of his half-blood heir, he would have to take immediate action. This plan would send Hermione and the child to another country, America or Italy perhaps, to ensure their safety. Depending on the circumstances, he might even go with them; create new identities, he'd do whatever it took. He knew Hermione would never agree or succumb to this plan. She would never want to leave her friends, and he also knew she would never believe him if he told her how dangerous it really was at the moment. She had no idea what nasty schemes were being planned as she worried about what to tell her precious Weasley.
Honestly, he felt that if he left it up to Hermione, the child would already be making their entrance before she figured it all out. As brilliant as she was, she wasn't inept in handling this situation. He may not know a thing about pregnancy, but he did know her hormones were the decision makers at the moment. His mind was clear as crystal. So this left him to deal with the consequences of their actions and take precautions on his own time. He couldn't afford to trust her with everything quite yet. Keeping her in the dark was the safest thing to do.
He sighed and scratched his forehead. The nights were long and homework was endless. He should be studying or something. He grabbed his favorite quill and took out a piece of parchment. There was an essay due in at least two of his classes and time was slipping away from him.
No sooner had he written two pages, when he had to put down his quill. He had almost forgotten what it meant to have that burning sensation against his leg. He quickly stuck his hand in his pocket to retrieve the coin.
R.O.R was all it said.
He inhaled deeply and took a long look at the pile of unfinished assignments before giving up and rising from the desk.
She never did have the best timing in the world.
"Come to tell me you're getting married to Weasley, are you?" He asked upon entering the room. Her back was turned toward him and he couldn't see her face at all.
"Why do you always do that?" He picked up a hint of anger in her voice. "Act like you know what I'm going to say?"
"Because I know what you're going to say, Granger." He replied, coming closer to her still frame. "You're always so predictable. 'We can't do this anymore, Malfoy.' 'We're too different, Draco.' 'Stop making this so hard for me.'" He mocked. "It's always the same rubbish. Though I tend to agree for the most part. You are quite difficult to deal with." He let a small chuckle escape.
She turned on him, eyes furious. "You think this is funny?" She screeched. "You think this situation calls for a few good laughs?"
Draco's smirk vanished. "No-"
"I'm pregnant, Draco." She continued, the anger never waning from her voice. "This isn't funny. I'm having a baby. A baby. And now Ron knows, Harry knows, and in about a month the whole sodding school is going to know!"
"I know. I'm sorry. I made a bad joke."
"You don't understand how serious this is."
Now it was his turn to frown. "You're an idiot if you believe that." He said. "I know how serious this is. You are having my child, remember? If you think I haven't lost sleep over this then you're quite mistaken my dear."
"Not as much as I have, I'm sure." She replied with a huff. "You don't get it. You may think you do, but you don't. You don't see the bigger picture here. Because I'm the one having the baby. Nothing is going to change for you. You get to walk around like nothing happened. No one is going to stare or question you. I'm the one that's going to gain weight. I'm the one who's going to get all the condescending looks. I'm the one that's going to be walking around with a watermelon under my robes and sooner or later I'm going to have to tell everyone. I won't be able to hide it. Everyone will start asking me a billion questions, and how the hell am I going to deal with that, huh? You aren't going to be here. You won't have to look these people in the face and lie or act like everything is ok. What am I going to say when people as me who it belongs to? I know you won't want me saying it's yours." She continued, unphased by the growing irritation on his face. "So what I am I supposed to do?! I'm not ready for this, Draco. And it's me that has to do it. I'm the one staying here. I'm the one that's going to be taking on all the gossip. I'm the one doing this alone. Not you. Me."
He didn't let a moment escape before angrily replying, "You really think that you're all alone in this?! I assure you that is not the case. I am dealing with this too, Hermione. It's not just you." He took a deep breath when he realized he was shouting. "This whole time I've done nothing but think about you and the baby." He continued, more quietly this time. "I don't want to stand idly by and let you do this by yourself. And even if you're right about me not wanting everyone to know it's mine, it's only because my father can't know." She frowned but he shrugged it off. "It's not that I don't want to claim it. Now if this would have happened a year ago it would have been a totally different story but I'm not that scared little boy anymore."
He turned from her for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Maybe at the beginning of this I was. I know I've acted childish, Hermione. It's not like I can deny it. But I've made the decision to grow up. I know the child is mine. You know it's mine. Isn't that what truly matters? It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. It's none of their business. And while I admit I'm not in a hurry to publicly claim it, It's only because I want to protect you. I don't want anything to happen to the baby because of me. So you're wrong about it not affecting me." He moved forward and cupped her cheek with his hand. "It does affect me. I struggle every day with the reality that I can't just think about me anymore. So I really don't appreciate you acting like you're the only one concerned here. I'm the father. I'm concerned too."
She took a step back and his hand fell. She knew he was right. She just couldn't help herself. It was like she had no control over her body or emotions anymore. "I know. I know. You're concerned. I can see it. I'm sorry. I didn't come here to yell at you. I didn't mean to get so angry."
"So if you didn't come here to rant at me like a bloody loon, what did you come here for?"
She rolled her eyes at the jab.
"Well?"
She closed her eyes and after a moment let it out. "I told Ron."
His eyebrow raised slightly. "So I guess that means Weasley wasn't too thrilled to find out?"
She shook her head in defeat. "I've seen Ron angry, but never like that." She frowned. "It's not likely he'll ever truly forgive me."
"By the look on your face, I'm not so sure you want him to."
She made a disgusted face much to his surprise. "Perhaps I don't care what the pig-headed bastard thinks anymore."
"Come now." Draco chided, taking a seat on the bed. "What could the Weasel have possibly said to make you feel that way?" There was a playful glint in his eyes that she didn't miss. "You're used to being called names by now, so I assume that a mere "slag" or "whore" wouldn't phase you." When she didn't respond his smile faded. "Or perhaps words cut deeper than I thought?"
She sighed and sank down onto the mattress next to him. "It wasn't the names that made me so angry." She said. "For the most part, I believe I deserved every name and accusation he threw at me."
"Well, I don't know about-"
"I deserved it, Draco." She insisted firmly. "What we did warrants a few names. That wasn't the issue."
"Then what was?"
"It wasn't what he said about me." She didn't look at him. She didn't want him to know she got so angry because Ron was trashing Draco. She would never live it down.
"Hermione?" He called, leaning toward her. "What's wrong? If it wasn't something he said...what did he do?"
"Draco I can't-"
The softness in his voice vanished and his angry tone returned. He jumped up. "If he put his hands on you I-"
"He didn't touch me." She cried, grabbing his arm before he could dash out of the room. "Ron is many things but he isn't abusive."
"Well, that depends on what you classify as abuse." He retorted.
She stood back up and moved in front of him. She couldn't let him do anything stupid. "Calm down. Don't you know how silly you look right now?" She asked with a smile.
He honestly didn't think he looked silly at all. "You find me amusing?"
"When you look like you're about to skin someone alive for no reason, yes."
"It's not for a lack of reason. I have plenty of reasons for wanting to skin Weasley. He hurt you. And that is enough cause."
This was going nowhere. The last thing she needed was for them to start a fight with each other. "It's not justice, Draco. Ron may have insinuated that I'm a whore, and yes it may have stung a bit, but he was hurting. I hurt him. He has every right to be angry."
"Then why were you so upset?"
"No reason."
"If you don't tell me then I'm going to assume I need to kick his arse."
"Now you're threatening me?"
"If that's what it takes, then yes."
Her eyes narrowed as she stared him down. "I can't believe you're using that sort of tactic against me."
"I shouldn't have to. You should want to tell me what's bothering you."
That little bubble of anger was flaring up again. Gods, why was he so irritating? "You don't have to know everything."
"I'm not asking you to tell me every little detail."
"Why can't you just drop it?" She pleaded, not wanting to fight with him again. "Please just let it go."
"I can't just let it go."
"Try."
"Why are you being so damn stubborn?!"
She let out a half-crazed laugh as she moved away from him. "Me? I'm being stubborn?" She pointed a finger his way. "You're the one nagging."
"Nagging?" He shot back. "I'm not nagging. Is it such a sodding crime to want to know what happened?"
"YES!"
"Why? What don't you want me to know? What are you hiding that's so bad that you can't let me hear it? Tell me." He asked again as he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her into him. "Tell me what he said about you to make you act like this."
"It wasn't about me!" She snapped, tears springing into her eyes again. "It was about you!"
His eyes showed how surprised he was as he let his hands drop from her arms. "It was about me? You were angry because of me?"
"Not because of you, idiot." She replied, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "Because of what he said about you. Calling me names was fine. But for some reason when he...said that about you...I just snapped."
"What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter. It wasn't true."
"Hey, now."
She turned her back to him. "I'm so tired, Draco. I'm tired of fighting with everyone. I'm tired of the yelling and the lying. I'm so tired and I feel so out of control. Like I'm not myself. I just can't do this anymore. I'm not strong enough."
He wrapped his arms around her and nestled he chin in the crook of her neck. Her hair was everywhere, against his cheek, tickling his ear; but he didn't care. All he cared about was making the girl in front of him feel better. "Now who's the silly one?" He cooed. "You rode a dragon, outsmarted Umbridge, and spent all of your free time-saving The Chosen One's arse. You are the strongest person I know." He smiled into her neck. "You will get through this."
She untangled his arms from around her and turned to face him. "How do you know?"
He gave her one of his famous half smirks and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Because you're Hermione Jean Granger, and you're the bravest girl I've ever met."
"I think you've been hitting the whiskey a little too hard, sir." She laughed and he hugged her to his chest.
"Ha ha. You're full of jokes." He sighed. "Just promise me something will you?"
Her answer was muffled by the fabric of his shirt, but he could still make out a yes.
"The next time you feel lonely, find me." He whispered. "Don't drown out your sorrows alone."
It took awhile for Ron to realize that he was alone. Only a moment ago he'd been the happiest guy in the world. He'd had everything he could ask for, give or take a few bumps in the road, but he was making things work. His future looked bright, indeed. And then a tsunami by the name of Malfoy swept that future away.
He slumped down onto his bed, his fingers digging their way into his scalp. Hermione was pregnant with Malfoy's child. Malfoy's. Not his. Malfoy's. The thought of it made him sick. How could that despicable excuse for a human being, lay his hands on something as innocent and beautiful, as Hermione? How could she have let him? To make matters worse, there was now proof of that indiscretion.
It just wasn't fair! This wasn't the Hermione he knew at all. She was someone different. The girl he'd come to know and love would never go behind her friend's backs and sleep with the enemy. Never in a million years would she do something so sick and twisted as doing it with Malfoy. Godric, he wanted to puke.
He'd never felt anger this intense before. Every bone in his body wanted to rush out the door and snap that little blonde bastards neck. He wanted to wipe him off the face of the earth. In fact, that wasn't a bad idea at all. He got up and rushed at the door, only to be stopped by Harry's frame on the other side.
"Ron? Where are you-"
"Get out of my way! I'm going to fucking kill him." He cursed.
"Calm down, Ron! You can't just go out and get in a fight with him. You're in no condition to be trying to beat him!"
"Let me go, Harry! He deserves it! I'm going to beat the shit out of him! You don't understand! I have to do this!"
"You think I don't want to do the exact same thing?" Harry asked, still holding him back. "In fact when I found out I did hit him. I still want to. I hate him just as much as you do. But this is not the time, nor the place for it. If you go now, you'll lose. He's a better dueler and fighter than you, Ron. I hate to say it, but he is."
"Fuck it, Harry. I don't care!" Ron screamed. "Just let me go! Let me go. Let me-" He suddenly gave up and collapsed on the floor. "She's really gone isn't she?"
Harry placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Yes. She is."
"She's pregnant? My Hermione? Pregnant?"
"Yes."
"She slept with him. She...oh my god." He sobbed. "She would never let me get that close to her. She always pulled back. Why? Why would she shy away from me but sleep with him? She did it all willingly. Harry, she did it on purpose! I'd almost rather it have happened without her consent. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so bloody awful. Terrible. It's terrible! I love her! I bloody love her and she's run off with that snake? Don't I mean anything to her? Don't my feelings matter? I had our whole life planned! I was going to ask her to marry me this summer! I was going to find a flat, I was going to make an honest woman out of her, I was, Harry! I really was!"
"Ron-"
"He stole her from me! He ripped us apart! I'll never forgive him! He'll pay for this! I swear to Godric, he'll pay!" He could no longer keep the tears at bay. All the anger and resentment melted into painful sorrow as he knelt on the cold floor of his dorm room. Harry looked on in silence, not knowing what to say or do. Ron didn't blame him. He didn't know what to do himself. So instead of rushing out to kill the bastard who'd stolen his future from him, he resolved to stay where he was and let the sadness swallow him whole.
Tuesday, November 10, 1998
Blaise hadn't seen or heard from Draco all night. If that wasn't a good sign, he didn't know what was. He knew the wizard had been fretting for weeks over this. Luna had promised Blaise that Hermione was trying hard to find a way to tell the Weasley. But as the days drug on, Blaise hadn't been too optimistic. This whole situation was troubling and tiresome, and he wasn't even the one fully involved.
On the bright side, it meant that he had been spending more time with Luna.
Though he was finally acknowledging the feelings he had for her, he'd been slow to show them. Brief moments of flirtation and a couple hints were all he could muster. He never knew what the witch was thinking, let alone how she would respond to his advances, so he'd kept it to a low.
It was a strange beginning of a courtship to be sure. He'd never spent this much time trying to "start" a relationship. All his past flings had given in with the first witty comment. But not Luna. She was different. Which was fine with him. Those girls weren't worth the trouble. Luna was a struggle, truth be told, but he didn't mind one bit.
In fact, he didn't want it to be easy. She was well worth the fight.
Hermione awoke to the familiar scent of sweat and cologne. She didn't even need to open her eyes to know whose chest she was snuggling against. She smiled. A month ago she had promised herself she would never sleep with him again. But after hearing those words, the same words she had muttered herself, everything inside her fell in place. This time, there was no regrets. She'd loved every moment of it and wasn't the least bit afraid of what anyone else thought about it.
Ron stretched and rubbed his eyes. It was morning. Another dawn had come. The world hadn't ended and his pain was slowly returning full force. He rolled over and shut his eyes tight, wishing with everything that he had died in his sleep.
Harry watched his friend stir from his own bunk. Ron hadn't spoken a word since last night. As of this moment, he hadn't even acknowledged Harry's presence. Harry would be surprised if he even ventured out of the room today. If he did, it would probably be to hunt down Malfoy and kill him. That would do no one any good. Harry wasn't on Malfoy's side by any means, but he didn't want Ron to have an outburst in front of anyone. Secrets were meant to be secrets. Hermione had enough on her plate without having to worry about Ron outing her to the whole damned school. Not to mention she was probably still furious at him for what he'd said the night before. Any contact between the two of them the next few days would be premature. So he knew exactly what he had to do. He'd make sure Ron didn't lose his cool and that Hermione stayed far enough away from him to not cause a scene.
It wasn't exactly the best job in the world, but his best friends had been by his side through thick and thin. What kind of friend would he be if he abandoned them now?
Ginny wasn't stupid. She knew something wasn't right. Hermione had been acting strange for weeks. And now Ron refused to come out of his room. Something was definitely wrong with this picture. Harry finally broke down and told her the truth after arguing with her for an hour. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her boyfriend's mouth. What the hell was going on around there?
Wednesday, November 11, 1998
Hermione had successfully managed to avoid everyone all day yesterday. Well, everyone except Luna. She had made herself a permanent fixture in Hermione life. One that she was quite grateful of. She didn't know how she would have made it through without her. She had expected to see the blonde witch, but she hadn't expected to not see everyone else. It was quite the accomplishment considering how horridly messed up the day before had been.
Ginny hadn't come back to the dorm room that night and Ron and Harry had skipped classes that day. She felt like she could almost get away with avoiding them forever.
But that all changed when she came back from dinner that evening. Ginny was sitting in her bed, eyes red and puffy with the vials Madam Pomfrey had given her, in her hands.
"I didn't want to believe it." Her friend whispered when Hermione entered the room.
"Ginny, let me explain-"
"Harry told me. I knew something was up. I've known for a long time now, but I let it go. You were hurting. Who was I to tell you how to grieve? But this? I didn't expect this." She said with a sad sigh. "Are you really pregnant, Hermione?"
"It's true." Was all she could muster.
"And it's not my brother's baby?"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ginny."
"I love you, Hermione." She replied a moment later. "Even with all this, I love you. You're like my sister. I just...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. He's my brother. I'm hurting for him. He won't even talk to Harry and me."
"I understand." She said. She did understand. She didn't honestly expect Ginny to be so nice about it. So this was a more pleasant confrontation than she had imagined coming from the redhead.
"Just give me some time, Hermione. I need some time to digest this information."
She swallowed the bile in her throat. "Take all the time you need."
She got up from the bed and handed Hermione the potions. "Just take care of yourself, ok?"
"I will." She promised as she watched one of her best friends close the door. She knew she deserved to be left alone like this, but it still hurt. Somehow it always hurt.
Friday, November 13, 1998
Although he was beginning to spend most of his nights with a certain hormonal brunette, his anxiety had never fully left. Instead of instilling caution into her brain he had only added more hope and promises onto his already shaky ones. He had no doubt that he would go with one of the plans when the time came, but the closer Christmas break came, the more his resolve waned. How could he keep her safe when he wasn't even here?
He tried not to think about it.
If he thought about it then he would want to stay and keep an eye on her, then were would he be after graduation? Right back on his parent's doorstep. At least this way he had a job out from under his father's watchful eye.
Monday, November 16, 1998
Ron thought he was doing better. He hadn't cried in the last two days and he had returned to class last Thursday. Harry and Ginny had helped him out of his funk and got him to act like a human again, but seeing her still hurt. It was just a glimpse in the hallway the first time. He'd wanted to bad to turn around and head straight back to bed, but Harry insisted that he keep going. That first day was hard.
The second one was harder.
He had a class with her. He sat a couple rows behind her. He just sat there and stared the whole period and when it was over he bolted. The next class made him want to go on a murderous rampage. He hadn't realized just who shared that class with him. The sight of Malfoy made his blood boil. It took all of Harry's strength to hold him back as he lunged across the desk at the blonde. The onlookers just stood by in shock as Harry led him out of the room.
Yes. The second day sucked. And the day after that, and the day after that.
No matter how angry he was at the whole thing, he couldn't help but feel something for her still.
He loved her. He missed her. He hated her. He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to kiss her. It was just too much. It got to the point where he was beginning to wonder if he would ever feel right again.
Tuesday, November 17, 1998
Draco seemed to be happy as of late, but if Blaise knew one thing about his friend, it was that he was good at hiding his true feelings.
As much as he smiled and spent time with Hermione, there was always a look in his eyes that told Blaise he was hiding something.
He wasn't about to pry, though. He didn't want to be the one to bring it up and ruin the peace that had settled around them.
Draco was lying on his back, tossing an apple in the air when he voiced the first question. "Have you felt it move yet?"
Hermione looked up from her assignments in shock. "Not yet. It may take a couple more weeks."
"Have you seen anyone regarding your health?"
Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Why the curiosity all the sudden?"
He caught the apple once again before sitting up. "I just want to know you're doing alright."
"I'm fine," She replied with a smile. "Really. I went to Madam Pomfrey when I first found out and she gave me some potions and herbal remedies for the morning sickness. "
"So you're not having regular visits with her?"
"Well, no." She admitted. "Luna kind of obliviated her. She doesn't remember that I'm pregnant."
He seemed to think about this for a moment. "I think you should tell her again."
The thought of going through that encounter all over again made Hermione shudder. "I'd rather not."
"But how will you know if something is wrong? You're not a healer, Hermione." He gave her a stern look. "And there are a lot of things that need to be checked. Growth, progress, the size of the cervix. There are many factors."
"I know that." She cut him off with a huff, her cheeks turning pink at him using the word cervix. "But it's not like I'm totally clueless. I've read every book about pregnancy in the library I'll have you know."
"And you haven't returned at least three of them." He replied with a smirk. "I've checked."
She smiled brightly. No wonder he'd mentioned growth and development. He knew it was important. "Have you been reading up on babies, Mr. Malfoy?"
"Curiosity has gotten the best of me, I do admit, but how is a bloke supposed to read up on the subject if all the books are taken out?"
"Alright, I'm sorry. Which one do you want?"
"I'd rather just ask you. It's much more entertaining." He said with a wink.
"Oh shut it." She threw her quill at him. "I still have a long way to go. According to the calculations, I'm almost 17 weeks. I may be able to hold out telling McGonagall until after the holiday."
"I think you should tell her before, but I'm sure you'll do what you want to do anyway." He sighed.
She smirked. "You know me so well."
"I'd hope so." He agreed. "But do me a favor and at least get back with Madam Pomfrey. I'd rather know you're healthy."
"Fine. I'll go back." She huffed, going back to her homework.
He leaned down and kissed her head. "Thanks."
"Oh, it's not for you, I just happen to admit that it's the right thing to do for the baby."
He took a bite out of the apple still in his hand. "Whatever you say."
Thursday, November 19, 1998
Luna was happy. Happier than she'd been in a long time. She had helped her friend get through a trial and that made her feel good. She enjoyed helping others. It had taken awhile for Hermione to smile again. She was still struggling with her friendships with Harry, Ron, and Ginny, but so far she wasn't letting it ruin her life. She was eating again and her school work was almost caught up, not to mention the fact that the color had returned to her face.
Her relationship with Draco had grown stronger the last week and she and Blaise were quite happy with that outcome. In fact, the more time Draco spent with Hermione, the more time Blaise seemed to want to spend with her.
She didn't try to deny the fact that he was flirting with her anymore. It was obvious. What she didn't quite understand, was why he was flirting with her. No one had ever shown interest in her, and she didn't know how to receive it. She knew that she felt something for him. Her stomach would get tingling and sometimes she would find herself speechless and just looking at his perfect smile. It was something she'd never experienced. It was exciting and new. But she also needed to be cautious. She didn't know if his intentions were pure of heart. She didn't even know if she wanted to pursue her own feelings at this point. So many things were left open. If things turned sour between their friends she didn't know if she could continue having their little "meetings". She hoped things just remain as they were.
Friday, November 20, 1998
A part of Harry wanted to be happy for Hermione. She'd been smiling more and he knew it wasn't because of himself or because Ron was being a peach. It was because she spent her nights in the arms of the blonde who was going to ruin her life.
She may not know it yet, but he was the worst thing for her. Just because she was having his baby didn't mean she needed to be sneaking around with him. She wasn't giving Ron the benefit of the doubt. It would take time. He was still healing from the shock. He would come around eventually.
Harry was scared for her.
As much as he knew she had every right to keep her distance from Ron, the thought of her hanging her hopes on Malfoy made him gag. The bloke may be acting nice and protective and all that, but Harry was not buying it. Malfoy would break her heart. It was inevitable.
Saturday, November 21, 1998
"I think it will be ok, Blaise," Draco announced one night to Blaise surprise.
"What will be ok?"
"This whole thing with Hermione and I." He replied. "I mean, I know it's still really fucked up and I have no idea what we will do after the baby gets here, but I feel good for the first time in...forever."
Blaise smiled. That was the first time he'd heard Draco ever admit to feeling good about anything. "Well, I'm happy for you, mate. Truly I am."
Draco smirked and went back to his work.
Blaise wondered briefly what Draco was planning to do about his father, but he let it go. If his friend was happy, he wasn't about to rain on his parade. Besides, he had a "date" with his favorite witch. Before he left the comfort of his room Draco called over his shoulder, "By the way, Happy Birthday."
He just smirked and thanked him. He didn't really care much about birthday's but he was sure this would be a good one.
It was late the night Theo heard the best news of his life.
He'd accidentally stumbled upon Ginny Weasley talking to her beloved Harry Potter in the library. He would normally go about his business. What did he care about the bloody chosen snot and his loud mouth girlfriend? He didn't give a rats arse about them, but he did care about the particular witch they were talking about.
Their dear friend Hermione Granger was pregnant.
He didn't have to wonder who the father might be.
Monday, November 23, 1998
If there was one word to describe how Ronald Weasley felt now it would be "numb". The nasty jealousy he was used to didn't grip him now as he watched her gaze drift to Malfoy at breakfast. The rage didn't overtake his body when he saw the git flash her a smile. It didn't hurt to see them disappearing together when they thought no one else was looking, and it didn't pain him knowing just what it was they were probably doing behind closed doors.
He didn't feel a thing.
It was as if he was immune to emotions altogether.
No anger, no jealousy, and no pain. But there was no happiness for Ron either. He hadn't smiled since the day he lost his girlfriend and best friend of eight years. He was an empty shell and he was fine with that. If he let the emotions back in, it would only hurt worse. He didn't want to be in love with her anymore. He didn't want to wish himself dead because of all the turmoil.
So he was content with this.
He was ok with feeling nothing as long as it meant he didn't have to deal with reality.
Tuesday, November 24, 1998
Hermione was still in shock. Every day she woke up and thought that it was all a dream. She couldn't possibly be pregnant, and Draco couldn't possibly be so kind about it.
But every day he proved to her just how real it all was.
They didn't openly show their connection during the day. There may be a few small glances or smiles between them but that was as far as it went. Both of them knew how dangerous it could be if their classmates found out. So far no one had let it slip.
Ron was still angry as hell and hadn't spoken to her since the night she'd told him. Ginny was keeping her distance as well. She wasn't hostile by any means, but the witch was weary. And Hermione understood that. As much as it hurt her to be away from Ginny and Ron, she no longer felt alone. Harry was still a constant companion and Luna kept her on her toes. Hermione's days were filled with homework, essays, and friends; and her nights were filled with trysts and whispers. If she closed her eyes to the bad things, she could almost believe that everything would work out perfectly.
Wednesday, November 25, 1998
A cruel laugh echoed against the stone floor. "How does it feel Lil' Malfoy?"
He rolled over on his side but found it pained him to move. He grimaced and peered into the darkness, trying to locate the source of the voice.
"I know you can hear me." It continued. "Can't you talk? Or is the pain too much for you?"
He tried to sit up but the moment he did the world started to spin. "What is this? What's going on?"
"I found it," The voice said, with the click of a lock following. "Your Lil' secret." The door swung open and bathed him in light.
He brought his hand in front of his face. "What are you talking about?" He asked the dark silhouette in the doorway. "What secret?"
He was answered with another taunting laugh as a large mass was tossed into the cell with him. "You thought you were being sneaky, don't ya?"
He looked down at the large burlap sack at his feet. A sudden fear crept up his body like fog, and his stomach lurched as his hand inched forward.
What was going on?
The man in the door shifted his weight and snorted.
He ignored the man's presence.
He wanted to know, needed to know what this was.
His hands trembled as they drew near.
He knew whatever it was, was bad. How could it not be?
When his fingers clasped the drawstrings, he pulled them, allowing the contents to be in full view.
His eyes widened and his stomach involuntarily dispelled whatever bile was left in his stomach.
No.
No. no. no. no. no!
It couldn't be!
But it was.
Brown eyes, dead to the world, stared back at him. Curly hair splayed unnaturally around her face, though her once creamy skin was now stained a crimson red. Her mouth was open as if her life was extinguished mid-scream.
He fought the urge to vomit again, and looked into the light. "You monster!" He screamed. "Why did you do this!"
"I di'nt do it, Lil' Malfoy." The man said. "You did."
Draco awoke violently, arms thrashing and blankets tangled around him.
His body was covered with a thin layer of sweat and his mouth was dry. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to get the image of Hermione's lifeless body out of his mind.
"I found it. Your Lil' secret."
He hadn't known who spoke in the dream, but now he did. There was no mistaking that voice. It belonged to Greyback.
The last few weeks he'd been constantly fretting over the possibility of his father finding out. He wanted to smack himself in the face for not realizing this sooner. His father wasn't the only one that he needed to be worried about. He wasn't the only one who had his eye on Draco in one sense or another.
Panic started setting in as he grabbed his wand, climbed out of bed, and in the darkness made his way to his desk. Quietly as he could he groped around inside the drawer until he found it. Chills ran up his back as his fingers brushed against the letter he'd hidden weeks ago.
He looked around the room and saw that Theo and Blaise were both sound asleep.
He took a breath and whispered, "Lumos." It cast enough life that he could see it clearly. He'd put off reading the letter since it was delivered. There was no reason to read it. He hadn't wanted anything to do with Bastien or Greyback. He still didn't have any intention to go along with anything they had planned, but now he had to at least read it. He needed to know what the bastard wanted. If he found out about Hermione or the baby it could get bad.
His eyes ran over each and every word as his heart beat faster in his chest. The more he read the more anxious he became. The same conversation he'd had with the bastard a year before was now repeating itself in paper form.
Bastien was still power hungry and he wanted Draco to be his right-hand man.
It was just after breakfast when Ron felt the all too familiar presence of a snake. He narrowed his eyes and rolled his shoulders back, continuing his stride as if he didn't care who was lingering in the shadows behind him. What good would it do him to turn around? What would he accomplish by starting a row with the wizard? It wouldn't change a damn thing for him. It would only result in his anger and pain returning, and that was something he just couldn't handle right now.
So onward he went, trying to ignore the eyes burning in the back of his skull. But patience wasn't really a Weasley's strong suit. "I know you're there, Malfoy." He spat as he turned around to face his enemy head on. "I may not be as quick in the wit department, but I know when I'm being followed."
"Good, I'm glad to see you're not totally incapable." The blonde returned, taking a few steps forward.
Ron glanced around the corridor. They were totally alone. Not a soul in sight. If he acted quickly, maybe he could get a few good hits in. His hand twitched at his side, the anger slowly settling in. "What the hell do you want, Malfoy?"
"I needed to talk to you." He replied sincerely. "It's important."
This made him frown. "Why the bloody hell would I want to talk to you?" He hissed. "You stole everything from me."
Draco rolled his eyes. "It was never yours to begin with, Weasley."
Now there was nothing holding him back. No Harry, no Ginny, and no Hermione telling him to calm down. No one was here to tell him to stop. He grit his teeth and drew his wand from his pocket. "Stupefy!"
The spell was immediately blocked with a mutter of, "Protego." This angered the red head further and he continued shouting hexes, jinx's, and curses at the other boy, all of which were easily dodged.
"Honestly, Weasley, this fight is pointless. You can't win."
"We'll see about that!" He yelled, taking all his aggression out in a final attack. He had one spell that Harry had mentioned long ago. One Snape had come up with, and the very one that had taken the bastard in front of him down during sixth year. Now was no time to show mercy. "Sectumsempra!"
Draco's eyes widened a bit in shock as the curse was spoken, but he quickly moved out of the way. Before Ron could repeat the curse, Draco moved in on him. Without muttering a word he disabled the mouthy Weasley and had him pinned to the wall with a binding spell. "I do admit that last one through me off a bit, but play time is over."
"Let me go!" Ron shouted loudly, trying to get out of his immobile hold. "I'll kill you, you fucking ferret!"
"Now that would be counter productive I do believe." Draco tisk'd, passing Ron's wand back and forth between his hands.
Ron watched helplessly as the other wizard toyed with his own wand. It wasn't fair. He'd wanted to make the bastard bleed. He'd wanted to make him regret stealing Hermione from him. He'd wanted to make Malfoy suffer as much, if not more than he had. But it had all come crumbling down in seconds. Just as always he'd let his anger get the best of him. Now Malfoy had his wand, his pride, and didn't have a bloody scratch on him.
"What the fuck do you want from me! If you want to kill me, just bloody do it already! I'm fucking miserable! Do me a service why don't you!"
"Why would I do that?" Draco asked, stepping closer. "I have no intentions of harming you. In fact, I'd let you down from there if you would only be civil enough to have a conversation with me."
"I'd never willing have a conversation with you, Malfoy. Just looking at you makes me sick."
"I'd say the feeling is mutual, but then I'm afraid we'd be right back where we started." He sighed. "I'm not here to fight with you, idiot. I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself. I should have known a lummox like you wouldn't get it the first time around."
Ron noticed something then, a difference in Malfoy's words, stance, and appearance that he hadn't noticed before. The rude remarks didn't have the bite they normally would have, and he looked as if he'd been up for a week straight. This wasn't just any random name calling encounter. There was a reason why he was here.
"Alright then, Malfoy. I give up. What the fuck do you want with me?"
"I came to offer you a proposition."
"And why the bloody hell would I want to listen to anything you have to say?" Ron spat, with defiance.
Draco leaned closer to the boy, and Ron felt a bit unsettled by the look in his eyes as he replied, "Because despite your being a total idiot, you are the one that loves, Hermione. Not me."
it took a moment before the weight of his words set in. Was Malfoy saying he was stepping down? Why would he do that? He had her. What the hell was going on? He looked hard at the blonde, but Draco gave nothing away. If he was going to have any idea of his intentions, he'd have to be civil. If it meant he could get Hermione back, he'd do anything the damn ferret asked of him.
"Alright, Malfoy," Ron spoke after a moment of hesitation. "I'm listening." He felt the binds come loose from his arms and he stumbled as he was released. As he righted himself he didn't miss the look of relief on Draco's face.
So was it as horrid and atrocious as I imagine it to be? Hopefully not. Let me know with a review. :) I truly miss you all!
Now, some of you may be wondering what the fahell happened to me. Perhaps some of you even thought I'd taken a wrong turn and landed in a ditch somewhere. Well, you would somewhat be right.
This last summer was pretty miserable for me. I, unfortunately, suffered an early MC and went through a short depression afterward. I hated my job and I lost my baby and I was pretty much just wallowing in self-pity for four months.
But then something amazing and unexpected happened. A full-time job with full benefits and great pay just landed on my lap. Then a week after I started said job I found out I was pregnant again!
I'm happy to say that I'm expecting my baby boy in May 2013! YAY!
I was so excited and happy. I wanted to start writing again! But then reality set in. I was working 9 hours a day and puking my guts up at least half the day. so needless to say I continued to let "The Pitfall" suffer because of everything going on.
But now I'm back and I'm so excited to hear from you all! I missed this site so much!
So If you thought I abandoned you guys and the story, I'm deeply sorry. It wasn't my intention to leave it be for so long. I was just going through a lot of stuff and didn't even want to get out of bed, let alone write anything.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and expect more from me soon. (though it will probably not be weekly with my work schedule)
Have a great night and don't forget,
leave a review so I know what to work on. I'm a bit rusty. :)