Chapter 21: Mitsuha

The next morning, Taki and I go to the train station and buy a ticket back to Tokyo. It was a fast trip… if you can call it a trip. It was good that Taki came though, even though a lot of private family stuff occured, it felt good having his support there.

"Every family has their own issues that they have to deal with." Taki commented, "Like my parents are divorced and the social stigma from that was pretty crappy... Though I feel bad, I don't think I can properly imagine what it would be like to lose one of them, or see one of my parents lose their memories."

"I'm not sure which is worse actually; seeing your parents relationship fight and it break down, or to see one parent grieve over the loss of the other." I try and rationalise.

I'm not sure why I asked Taki along, and I have no idea why he decided to follow, but I guess he wanted to offer me support. Which is really sweet of him.

What are you going to to about Taki? Yotsuha's question still rings in my ears. What does Taki think of me?

I lose myself in thought as we ride the train in relative silence. Taki seems to be quite pensive sitting on the train too. I don't know why, but even though it's been a short time, I feel nervous thinking about the future and how Taki fits into that plan. I'm not exactly the youngest anymore; by traditional Japanese standards I'm getting along in years to not have a boyfriend. I haven't even had a boyfriend before...although sometimes it feels like I have had one. I'm not sure whether it was something stopping me from opening my heart to anyone else, or if I'm too independent to even have someone else there but officially, I've never had a boyfriend.

What do I even want? What can I even offer? Taki is still young and perfectly capable by himself. He probably has his own career worries instead. Do I even have a spot in his heart? What happened to my dreams of being in the fashion industry? will I have to compromise work and relationship? It'd have been easier if we had met in high school and built a relationship up then! These thoughts make me feel dour and morose.

As I lose myself if my self-reflection my stomach growls. I look up from my stupor embarrassed to see Taki also looking at me with a smirk on his face.

"It wasn't me!" I stare defiantly at him.

Taki chuckles as he stands up to reach the overhead storage above us. He reaches over to a plastic bag and picks up the ekiben we bought at the station before boarding.

"It's more or less lunch time" he meekly says to me as he pass me my lunch bento.

"Thanks," I say. I didn't realise how hungry I was.

"Even though we haven't done much and even though Yotsuha made us breakfast this morning, I'm pretty hungry actually," Taki tells me.

"It's strange, I guess planning and catching a train is more energy intensive than our normal sedentary lifestyle" I reply.

"Haha yeah," Taki responds, scratching his arms, "man, I can't believe how bad the mosquitoes are in Gifu,"

"You get used to it when you live out in the country," I say, "by the way, what's the plan for when we arrive," I ask.

"Well, we'll arrive in 45 minutes or so, shall we meet at the police station at around 3?; that way we have about an hour and a half to go home and freshen up," Taki suggest, "I need to go back to drop my luggage off and make sure my apartment is ok too".

"Sure," I reply, "I always feel gross after train rides so I could do with a freshen up. Give me a message when you're leaving your apartment too," I say.

I also had to organise getting my apartment packed-up and stuff shipped back to Gifu. I didn't really want to waste too long going back. There was a lot to do actually, cancelling my utility bills, internet, changing addresses. I groan to myself.

"You ok?" Taki asks me. I must have sighed audibly.

"Yeah, I'm ok," I reply. Not really wanting to say more. I don't really know what to tell Taki or even if I should say anything at all.

"Ok, but I'm here to talk if you need," Taki tells me.

That's sweet of him, but don't really reply.

The rest of the train trip ends up relatively quiet. I guess both of us end up lost in thought.

"I'll see you later," I tell Taki as we get off the shinkansen and take the relevant local subway to our apartments. My mind makes a mental checklist of the things I have to get done as I ride the subway back. I look out the window as the train passes by the stops that had become so familiar to me over the years. I look out, seeing the Yotsuha station go past; that's where this adventure all seemed to have started and it will hopefully be ending soon.

I get out and walk to my apartment. I open my door and step inside, taking a deep breath; this will be one of the last breaths in this room, I think. I look around, my bowl from the other day still sitting in the sink, crusted over with traces of miso at the bottom. It may be messy, but this place was mine for a good number of years. I pull out my phone and look at the time; I still have an hour or so till I have to get to the police station. I open my LINE app, somehow looking to see if there's any messages there that I didn't notice in a notification. Nothing. I scroll down my chats; nothing from Taki, nothing from Sayaka. I click Sayaka's name.

"How's it going?" I message her. It'd probably be good if I touch base with her first before going to the police station.

I turn on my laptop on as I wait for Sayaka's reply. I guess I should do some research on delivery trucks in Tokyo and whether anyone online has a checklist of things that has to be done when moving out.

As I contemplate what to do, I hear a knock at my door. Go away! I think to myself, "I don't have a television!" I shout out roughly. I keep getting people knocking about that. It seriously seems more expensive for the NHK to send people to collect TV bills than to just broadcast like everyone else in the world does.

"Uh, Miyamizu-san," a lady's voice calls out. I recognise that voice,"it's your landlord…"

I walk to the door gingerly and open it, knowing what this is about.

"I'm sorry!" I say, bowing my head instinctively as I open the door.

"I know you're normally very good, but if I could receive for this month's rent…You haven't been home much so I saw you come home so I thought I would see you..." the landlady told me.

She was a good landlady, especially considering my tardiness in paying the rent. It's not cause I don't have the money (well, I am sometimes strapped for cash), but more so me forgetting to pay.

"Ah yes! I'm sorry. I'll go to the bank now to pay" I say, before taking a breath, "actually… there's something I need to tell you. My dad's health isn't doing well, so I need to go back to Gifu…" I tell her.

As the landlady closes the door, I slump down to the grown at my small genkan. This was harder than I thought it would be. As I sit down, my phone buzzes from my dining table.

I grudgingly lean backwards to rock myself up to my feet. It's from Sayaka. My phone buzzes again, it's from Taki.

I bury my head in my hands.

I'm not going to think about this anymore! I'm going to go ahead an organise to meet with Sayaka instead first!