Author's note: I do not own anything having to do with Supernatural, only Alexa belongs to me.

Chapter 20

The doctors wanted me to stay in the hospital another 24 hours for observation but I checked myself out. I was given a prescription for pain killers; even though everything had healed I was still in a great deal of pain. Bobby came to get my dad's body and we went back to his house. My brothers were outside building the pyre for the hunter's funeral while I rested in my room. I always had my own room at Bobby's and the boys shared another one.

"Lex, we're ready," Sam said sadly as he entered my room.

I nodded and followed him out to the salvage yard; standing between them I watched my dad burn. Dean and I had the same vacant look on our faces while Sam cried.

"Did…did he say anything to either of you before…" Sam managed to ask through the tears.

"No nothing," Dean replied. I knew he was lying but now was not the time to get into it.

"Lex?" Sam asked looking over to me.

I shook my head, said a silent goodbye to my dad and left to go back inside.

A few days had passed and I had gotten myself into a routine as well as my brothers. Dean was working on the Impala to get it back into working order and that was a huge job since it was totaled in the accident. I was putting myself through training again like when we were younger, I felt weak and that needed to change. After I was done training I would spend the rest of the day working on Caleb's truck. Bobby hadn't had a chance to do anything with it yet and wanted to get rid of it but I insisted that he kept it. Sam on the other hand would float between Dean and I like a mother hen.

I woke up, took a few pain killers and went downstairs to see Dean at the kitchen table drinking his coffee.

"Morning," I said as I entered the room.

"Morning," he replied as I started to stretch before my run. I made sure I wasn't facing him while I did this because my muscles were killing me and I wasn't going to risk him seeing. At this point I wasn't sure if I was still sore from the accident, from pushing myself in training, or both.

"See you in an hour," I said as I jogged out the door.

I used to hate running when we were younger but now it was something I couldn't start my day without. If I started thinking about my dad or Caleb I would just run farther and harder until the only thing I could think about was my breathing or aching body. It was pretty clear to me that my dad had died to save me there was no way else to explain it. I made a miraculous recovery and not even a half hour later he dies. The guilt I was carrying around inside me was eating me alive and I wouldn't tell my brothers this was my problem.

I got back from my run and went straight to work on the truck when Sam came to check on me again for the millionth time since we had been at Bobby's.

"How's the truck coming?" he asked setting down a sandwich on the hood.

"Fine," I said not looking up from what I was doing.

"Well I brought you something to eat," he tried again.

"Not hungry."

"Have you at least talked to Dean?" he asked nodding his head in the direction of the Impala only a few feet away.

"About?"

"Dad's death, you obviously aren't opening up to me and you need to talk to someone!" Sam said getting louder.

"Well why don't you call up one of your hunter friends to come cheer me up for the night, oh wait you tried that already and all it did was get him killed!" I yelled back balling up my fists.

Dean must have heard our argument and he made his way over to us.

"If you think hitting me is going to make you feel better then go ahead, hit me," Sam said.

"Damn it Sam just leave me alone!"

"Dad is dead Alexa and you haven't even talked about it," Sam said looking at me like I was broken.

"Sam, let it go," Dean said stepping in.

"What do you want me to do Sam? Curl up on your lap and cry it all out and let you comfort me like when I was little? News flash I'm not 5 years old anymore," I retorted before turning and jogging towards the driveway.

"Lex where you going?" Dean called after me.

"Running," was all I responded.

I wasn't going to cry, if I started I may never stop. So I decided to run until I knew I could get a hold on my emotions. What was I supposed to say to my brothers, yellow eyes was right and I am weak? Or how about how I am the reason my dad is dead, or worse yet how was I supposed to explain to them that for a brief moment I wanted to go with Caleb and I wished that it was me on the pyre and not my dad.

Dean's P.O.V.

The frame of the Impala was finally back in the right place and now all I had to do was work on the engine. My dad's death was hard on all of us but I knew Lex was taking it the worst. I heard my name and looked over to see Sam trying to talk to her again. I sighed and put my tools down, I know he is trying to help her but if he keeps pushing her she will never talk.

"Damn it Sam just leave me alone!"

"Dad is dead Alexa and you haven't even talked about it," Sam said.

"Sam, let it go," I said stepping in I could see her balled fists and didn't want her to end up hurting herself. I knew she was still in pain from the accident even if she wouldn't admit it.

"What do you want me to do Sam? Curl up on your lap and cry it all out and let you comfort me like when I was little? News flash I'm not 5 years old anymore," she yelled before turning and jogging towards the driveway.

"Lex, where you going?" I called after her.

"Running," she responded.

"Sam you need to stop pushing her," I said looking over to him; he looked like a lost puppy.

"She needs to talk to someone," Sam sighed.

"Did you play her the voicemail?" I asked.

"I didn't get a chance to."

"I'll do it when she gets back, just give her some space Sammy, she will come to you when she is ready," I said reaching my hand out for my dad's cell phone.

Lex came back a few minutes later breathing heavily; I knew she was pushing herself way too hard but I couldn't risk her not talking to me too.

"Hey squirt come here a minute," I said motioning her over to the car.

"What's up?" she asked coming and sitting on the trunk.

"Sammy and I found something. It's one of dad's old cell phones and Sam cracked the voicemail code, we think you should listen to it," I said handing her the phone.

She put it on speaker, "John it's Ellen, again. Look, don't be stubborn you know I can help. Call me."

"Who is Ellen?" she asked handing the phone back.

"We don't know there is no mention of her in dad's journal but that message is 4 months old. Sam ran a trace on the number and got an address."

"Ask Bobby if we can use the Challenger, I'll go shower," she said hopping down of the hood.

Alexa's P.O.V.

We pulled up to a place that was in the middle of now where. It looked like a run down bar.

"You sure this is the right address?" I asked as Sam held his seat forward so I could climb out.

"Positive," he replied.

We walked over to the building and looked through the front window and didn't see anything. I pulled out the lock pick and opened the door. It was silent inside and we noticed someone sleeping on the pool table. Sam made his way into the kitchen and I went to check out the person on the table. I heard Dean talking to someone and I crouched down.

"Please let that be a rifle," he said.

"No, I'm just real happy to see you," a blonde girl about my age said to him.

"Sam…need some help in here!" Dean yelled.

I snuck up behind her pulling my gun out from the small of my back and placing in on the back of her head.

"Go ahead and shoot him, but I promise you will be dead before you pull the trigger," I warned her.

Sam came out from the kitchen with his hands on his head followed by an older woman with a gun on him, "Sorry Dean I'm a little tied up."

"Sam? Dean?" the woman asked looking at them and then to me, "And you must be Alexa?"

"Mom you know these people?" the blonde girl asked.

"I think these are John Winchester's kids. Hi I'm Ellen and the one you're holding a gun on is my daughter Jo."

"You called our dad saying you could help, help with what?" I asked not wasting anytime.

"The demon of course, I heard he was closing in on it," she scoffed.

"Who the hell are you and how do you know about all of this?" I asked again looking at her with apprehension. I could see the looks I was getting from my brothers for being rude but that had never stopped me before.

"Hey I just run a saloon but hunters have been known to pass through now and again, including your dad long time ago. John was like family once," Ellen replied.

"What were you one of his one night stands and get too attached?" I spat.

"Listen honey, you don't want my help fine, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out but John wouldn't have sent you if…" she trailed off, "he didn't send you did he."

"No, we think the demon got him before he could get it," Sam answered.

"I'm so sorry," she sighed.

"It's ok, we're alright," Dean said quickly.

"It's just I know how close..." she started until I cut her off.

"Really lady we're fine," I said and then looked to my brothers, "You want to get answers go ahead, I'll be waiting in the car."

I could feel their eyes on me as I walked out of the bar. I kept thinking that this was a mistake and we shouldn't have come, I could have been working on the truck or out for a run not fighting with some random bitch about my dad. I pulled out the bottle of pain pills that I carried with me and took two before curling up in the driver's seat. If I pushed my face into the back of the seat I could still smell Caleb's cologne and I fell asleep.

"Hey Lex, move over," Dean said opening the door and I jumped, "Sorry didn't know you were sleeping."

I climbed in the backseat and we drove back to Bobby's, the boys were talking about Ellen, Jo and some guy named Ash. I was guessing he was the one passed out on the pool table but I didn't care to ask what they talked about. I started walking over to the truck when we got back until Sam stopped me.

"You know this strong silent thing of yours is crap. I'm over it," he said following me.

"Back off Sam," Dean said walking towards us.

"I don't care how you deal with this, but you have to deal with it. I'm your brother and I just want to make sure you're ok," Sam said ignoring Dean's request.

Before I could answer Bobby stepped out onto the back porch.

"Lex can you come here a minute," he called over.

I nodded and followed him into the house. He sat down at the kitchen table, poured 2 glasses of whiskey and told me to sit down.

"Bobby what's going?" I asked sitting down.

"I would give anything not to bring this up right now darling but there is something I need to know," he started.

"Ask away," I said taking a sip of the whiskey.

"It's about Daniel Elkins," he said and I froze, "You were the last person that saw him alive and his son wants some answers so I was hoping maybe you could talk to him."

"Now's not really I good time," I said finishing my drink.

"Please darling, he is waiting in the living room," he said as he got up and patted my shoulder. I reluctantly got up and walked in the other room.

He stood up as soon as I entered the room. He had short dark hair with brown eyes was easily 6 feet tall.

"Hey you must be Alexa, I'm Austin," he said.

"I'm not really sure I can help you," I admitted, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"My father was murdered and robbed," Austin replied playing with the knife in his hand.

"I'm sorry to hear that, any idea on whom it might have been?" I asked not sure if I was ready for the answer.

He got up and walked towards the front door before turning and looking me straight in the eyes for the first time.

"I was aiming for you," he said.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I meant to run you over that night but that guy pushed you out of the way, next time you won't be so lucky," he promised and left.

As if I didn't have enough guilt already with everything going on here was proof that Caleb was killed because of me. That stupid argument with my dad started everything. If I never got that pissed off, I would have never gone after the gun and killed Elkins. Now his son was out for revenge and wanted me dead but instead he got Caleb and he was still coming for me.

I looked out the window to his truck and saw that it said still said, you should never fuck with a Winchester. I hadn't had the time to fix it yet and I snapped. I ran out to the truck grabbing a crowbar that Dean had used earlier on the Impala and started beating the side of the truck with it until collapsing to the ground and letting all the tears I've been holding back come out.

Dean's P.O.V.

Sam and I were talking when we saw Lex run from the house and towards the truck. I watched as she took out all her aggression. Sam went to walk over to her and I put my hand on his shoulders.

"Give her a few minutes, she needs to let it out," I said barely above a whisper but I knew he heard me.

When she was done I saw her fall to the ground and we ran over to her. I didn't know what was going on until I noticed she was crying so hard her whole body was shaking.

Alexa's P.O.V.

I felt Dean pick me up in his arms, sit me on his lap and hold me tight.

"I'm here…you're going to be alright…let it out baby girl…" he soothed as rocked me back and forth.

I reached my hand out for Sam as he sat down next to us and took it and gave a reassuring squeeze. We sat like that for awhile until I could control my crying then Dean carried me into my room and laid me down. He covered me up in the blankets and kissed the top of my head before leaving. I was so exhausted I fell right to sleep.

We were in a bar somewhere, I could see Dean hustling pool in the back. I asked Sam if he could grab my jacket for me since I was cold. He smiled and left to get my jacket. When he didn't come right back in I got nervous and went to look for him when a hand grabbed my arm. It was Austin. "One down, one to go and then you are all mine," he smiled as I saw blood dripping from the knife he was holding.

I shot up in bed and turned the light on. Looking around I realized it was just a dream. I shuffled down the hall into my brother's room where they were both fast asleep. I went over to Sam's bed and gently nudged him.

"Lex? What's wrong?" he asked still half asleep.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked.

"Of course," he smiled and moved over so I could get in.

"Sammy I'm scared," I said with tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

I curled into his chest and he put his arms around me protectively. For that moment I felt safe and drifted into a dreamless sleep.