Summary: Five years have passed since Edward left Bella in the woods. Both Bella and the Cullens' have experienced great tragedy since they last saw each other, but what happens when they meet again, and what is the meaning of the prophecy? Bella OOC. BxJas
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyers owns all rights. I just like taking them out to play.
A/N: Thank you jdcoke for your editing skills and encouragement!
Chapter 21 – Saying goodbye to Forks
"Want to take a ride around town?" Jasper asked.
"Maybe just a drive by the high school?" I suggested.
"You want to revisit the place it all started?" he asked with a knowing look.
"Yes. It's been so long since I've thought about all of this. Before I move on to the next phase of my life, I want to remember and then put it all behind me. You know, closure and all that shit," I said offhandedly. Jasper chuckled and the sound warmed me.
The school was, of course, all locked up but as the school was made of multiple small classroom buildings, we were able to walk around the campus. I peered in a window of the cafeteria, remembering the first time I saw them. I told my version of those first days, laughing at my instant crush and obsession of Edward and his family. Jasper related his version of events.
"You know, I'm ashamed to admit this now, but Bella…you should know that the day the van almost hit you, I was planning on killing you in your sleep," he explained so quickly that I had a hard time catching all his words. My jaw dropped.
"Jasper!" I said in a shocked voice. He smirked at me, obviously feeling my amusement.
"I'm glad you didn't kill me," I said as I leaned up to kiss him.
"Hmm, me too," he said as he smiled against my lips.
"I love that you are so fiercely protective of your family, my warrior, though I would recommend avoiding murder unless absolutely necessary," I said quietly as I wrapped my arms around him. He chuckled and held me tightly. I felt his warm love surrounding me and sighed contently.
"Let's go. I've definitely moved on from Forks High," I said after a couple minutes.
"Is there anywhere else you would like to go? Newton's maybe? I know you worked there for a while," Jasper suggested.
"Absolutely not," I said as I barked out a laugh.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I am here to remember, but I definitely don't want to sit around reminiscing or thinking about that vile Mike Newton." I shuddered and Jasper let me feel his curiosity.
"You remember how he used to follow me around like a lost dog?" I asked.
Jasper laughed and nodded. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walked slowly back to the car.
"Evidently stalking was kind of his thing. Sophomore year of college, he started stalking this girl and then one night he slipped some drugs into her drink at a frat party. Her friend found them before he raped her, but he had beaten her pretty good before the drugs had kicked in all the way. He was on the run for a while before they caught him. His apartment had piles of pictures of several girls he was stalking. Just fucking creepy! And to think he used to follow me around. I could have been that girl." I shuddered again and I could feel, rather than hear, a low growl coming from Jasper.
"I always knew that kid was slimy," Jasper finally said. "And where is he now, might I ask?" Jasper was so tightly strung; I was starting to get worried about him.
"He's in jail for stalking, assault, attempted rape and a whole list of miscellaneous charges. When he gets out he'll have to register as a sex offender.
Jasper growled again, this time loud enough to hear. It was a good thing that there weren't any people around.
"What's up, Jasper?" I asked as I stopped walking to take a better look at him. "Why are you so upset about this? I mean, yes it was horrible, and yes, it's creepy that I knew him and he used to have a crush on me, but what's with your reaction?"
"Do you remember how Edward always reacted to him? How much he tried to shield you from him?" Jasper asked and I nodded in response. "Edward said that his thoughts were obsessive and very sexually explicit, even for a teenage boy, and often aggressive or even violent in nature. He seemed like a good kid; overeager maybe, but nice enough. His emotions always bothered me, though. Everything was an infatuation and a conquest to him. His emotions were disturbing. It bothers me that you were a target of his obsession. He may not have acted on it, but it…it could have been you," he growled.
"It wasn't."
"No. When I think of people like that out there, I sometimes regret not feeding on humans. That's horrible, isn't it?" he asked, sounding self-loathing.
"No, Jasper. I've thought a lot about the supernatural creatures that I have known. I have wondered if perhaps vampires were created or evolved, or whatever you believe, in order to eliminate the scum in society. That's what Garret does. He saved me from being raped, he removed that bastard from this earth, and he sustained himself at the same time. With what I've seen in this world so far, I can't find fault in that. I used to have a very clear idea of right and wrong. Murder was wrong. Feeding from humans was wrong," I took a deep breath.
"There are evil people out there though they may not be monsters on the outside. I have found that most times, they do not get what's coming to them. Jail is not a punishment. They don't care. It's not right. I think that if punishment for evil was more fitting, an eye for an eye, a life for a life, perhaps the world would be more balance. But maybe I'm just too cynical for my own good."
Jasper laughed. "Sugar, you are most definitely cynical, but I understand where you are coming from. Feeling the emotions they way I do, I cannot go back to that life. I can understand those who choose to feed that way. Vampire vigilantes."
"Enough of this serious talk. We should get back, Jazz. I'm starving."
"So am I," Jasper said with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Hey Jazz?"
"Yeah?"
"Growl for me," I commanded.
He growled low and ended with a snarl. It was fucking sexy. He just smirked at me.
ooo000ooo
Jasper started going through the things that were left behind in his and Alice's room. He offered to have me join him, but I thought he might really want and/or need privacy. While he was occupied in there, I made my way up to Edward's room. I paused at the door, my hand on the doorknob. I could picture myself coming to the house for the first time. I could feel how nervous I'd been, as though I were literally reliving it.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. The room looked the same as it always had. All the CD's were on their shelves. The black leather couch, the golden carpet. The room seemed a little stale having been abandoned five years before and the shelves were covered with a thin layer of dust, but it was just the same.
I opened his closet and as I walked past a row of his shirts, I brought one up to my nose and inhaled. It still smelled like Edward. I was filled with nostalgia and a small pang in my chest, where a huge hole reserved for Edward used to be. I'd been over Edward for a long time, but I still missed him every now and then. He was my first boyfriend, first love, and my first introduction to the supernatural world hidden around us. He was also my first heartbreak. It took some time to figure out that he'd left me 'for my own good,' but it didn't make it right, and I was still rather bitter about it. I sighed. So many things went wrong.
I left the walk-in closet and went back into his room. I took a look around and was preparing myself to leave when I saw a picture hanging on the wall. I was wondering why I hadn't noticed it before, as it was the only picture on the wall, but it was also an important one.
I walked over and lifted it from its hook. A couple tears fell down my face and I hugged the picture to my chest. I clapped my hand over my mouth trying to hold in my sobs. I knew Jasper could feel my emotions too, but I didn't want him to hear me crying. I didn't want him to think that I still wished Edward was there, because, as horrible as it sounds, I didn't wish that.
I walked over to the massive window overlooking the woods behind the house, picturing in my mind the time Edward climbed one of those trees with me on his back. I sighed. Edward made so many mistakes and he suffered because of it. He died because of it. Alice died because of it.
"You stupid, stupid boy. You always thought you knew best. You always decided for everyone else. You thought you knew me so well but you thought I was weak. You thought I would forget. You thought that you should make the decision for everyone. You didn't value my judgment. You didn't value what was important to me. You made decisions for me based on what humans need, not what I needed or wanted. You forgot that I was my own person. You made so many mistakes and you paid with your life. I hope you have found peace and happiness wherever you are now, Edward."
I walked toward the door and I looked back for just a second before closing the door behind me. "Goodbye Edward."
On my way downstairs, I stopped by the open doorway of Alice and Jasper's old room. Jasper was sitting on the floor with a box of papers at the side that he'd been going through. He had a several handwritten pages in his hand. I felt like he needed me, but I didn't want to intrude, so as a result, I ended up just standing in the doorway. I started feeling numb and it was several minutes before I realized that it was Jasper projecting his emotions.
"Jasper?" I finally moved and sat down on my knees in front of him. His eyes were focused on the papers in his hands.
"Jasper?" I repeated after a minute. Slowly he raised his eyes and fixed his gaze on me.
"It's a letter from Alice. She knew about some of this. She said that she saw a time where she wouldn't be with me anymore and that you would need me. She said that you were going to be very important." He took a deep breath.
"She said that she'd always seen me with you, but it wasn't our time before. She said we've always been destined to be together and that together we will change people's lives."
"She knew," I breathed. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. If she knew about that, did she know about the things that were going to happen to me? I started getting angry before I realized that it didn't matter. She was gone and there was no way to know what exactly she knew.
"I love you Jazz." I took hold of his hand and he relaxed against me.
"What do you have there?" he asked, motioning toward the picture I was still carrying.
I held the picture out for him to see. It was a picture of the six of us at prom. We all looked so happy.
"I had forgotten exactly how he looked - you know, the frailty of the human memory. I loved this picture of all of us. Everyone was so happy."
Jasper looked a little confused. "Did you tear up all his pictures or something when he left?"
I smiled, feeling an echo of the abandonment I had felt back then. "No Jazz. He took all my pictures before he left and my birthday presents. The only thing he didn't take was the stereo in my car that you guys had given me for my birthday." I blushed at the memory.
"I can't believe that he would do that. Making us all leave without saying goodbye, telling you that you weren't good enough for him and taking your only physical reminders of us. It was just cold-hearted. But Bella, why are you embarrassed about the stereo?" Jasper asked, sensing my embarrassment and amusement.
"The stereo I took out myself. I was so angry at him for taking everything else and I figured he just forgotten the stereo. I was so angry," I laughed, thinking back. "I pulled it out with my bare hands. My fingernails were a bloody mess by the time I was done and I had this horrible, ragged hole in my dashboard."
Jasper visibly winced as he pictured it. "You could have used tools."
"Yeah, but that's the sensible thing to do. When have I ever done the sensible thing?" I laughed.
He pulled me closer. "I'm still so sorry that we all hurt you so badly."
I dismissed his apology. "Jasper, it was a long time ago."
"It still causes you pain," he said knowingly.
"I've moved on, but yes, it still hurts to remember. That's why I try to leave the past in the past. I'm here right now to remember and to finally move on. I am trying to say goodbye to those hurts. I'm happy now."
"I'm glad that you're happy now, darlin'."
"I sometimes feel just deliriously happy, but of course, you already know that," I laughed. "You make me happy, Jazz."
Jasper's smile fell just a little. "You should be happy in and of yourself, sweetheart."
I turned to him and then moved so I was straddling him. "I am, Jasper." I closed my eyes and let him feel my happiness and contentment.
"Jasper, I finally feel like I am okay with myself. I have something to look forward to now. I have a purpose. I have a future. I have a mate that I love more than anything else in the world, and makes me feel like am special. I am happy," I concluded with a big smile. I opened my eyes and looked into Jasper's eyes.
He leaned down and captured my lips in a kiss so hot I thought I would melt. We made quick work of our clothes and he quickly entered me. It wasn't slow. We couldn't do slow. It was fast, it was hard and it was passionate. Jasper let go of the control of his gift and our passion and lust consumed us. The world around us disappeared.
ooo000ooo
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Jasper asked.
I'd been looking at the cemetery with my hand on the car door handle for I wasn't sure how long. I shook myself and opened the door. Jasper was immediately at my side, offering me his hand.
"Such a gentleman," I said and smiled at him. I led him through the rows of tombstones to my parent's graves. I placed a couple red and white Christmas lilies at each of the three graves. I bowed in respect and I could feel Jasper doing the same. I'd already said goodbye to Charlie the day before and it was now time to say goodbye to my mother.
"Tell me more about her," Jasper prompted.
"She was always more of a child than me. I had to take care of her, not the other way around. She would come up with the craziest plans. She was so erratic. I had to pay the bills, to make sure they were paid. I had to cook. I had to talk her out of the crazier fads." I sighed, heavily.
"She was my best friend until Alice. We had a lot of fun, we really did. I did some things with her that I would never have otherwise."
I started telling stories about my mom's antics and by the time I got through several, we were both laughing pretty hard. Finally, I looked back down at my mom's gravestone and my smile fell away.
"I miss you, mom. I hope you are in a better place. I'll love you forever," I said quietly as the tears finally started flowing. I turned to the grave on her other side. "Phil, thank you for trying to protect her. Thank you for loving her and making her happy."
I took a deep breath and tightened my grip on Jasper's hand. He squeezed my hand quickly and led me over to the graves of the wolves.
"This is beautiful, Bella," Jasper said. The graves were along a walking path with a nice stone bench and a life-sized wood carving of a wolf, mid-leap (life-sized for a real wolf, not the huge size of the shape shifting wolves). The wood was now weathered which enhanced the look, I thought.
"I found an artist in Seattle that made wolf carvings and I commissioned this piece. I thought it would be nice for their families. They gave their lives protecting their people. Victoria was after me. They were just kids. So young."
I knelt at their graves one by one and placed flowers at each. "These are Blue Bonnets, Jasper. They are also known as Wolf Flower. I thought it was appropriate," I explained. I turned back to the gravestones.
"Guys, thank you so much for protecting me and and your people. You were so brave and died a heroic death. You are not forgotten. I will never forget. For as long as I exist in this life and in my next, I will remember your sacrifice. It will not be in vain."
I was shaken from my thoughts by a loud shout.
"What the fuck are you doing here bloodsucker? Your kind is not welcome here."
I stood up quickly and saw Jake's furious face. He walked toward us, stopping about ten feet away. He was wearing his usual cut-off shorts and I was glad to see he'd brought a t-shirt as well.
"So you got back together with your bloodsucker? You're a fucking supernatural whore Bella. Why am I surprised?"
Jasper growled and I was absolutely furious. "Watch your mouth Jacob Black! Not that it's any of your fucking business, but no, Edward is dead. This is my mate, Jasper."
"So you moved onto his brother?" Jacob seethed. I could see him shaking and I did not want to experience that again. One mauling was enough for me.
"Jacob, control yourself," I warned.
"Neither of you are welcome here," he sneered. "You come here to pay your respects to my brothers who were murdered by a leech and yet you bring another one with you. You disrespect their memory." His shaking was getting worse.
"Jacob Black, calm down! I don't want to you to phase too closely to me again," I said, my voice raised.
"He won't get close," Jasper growled.
"And you're going to stop me, blood sucker?" Jake laughed.
"You touch one fucking hair on her and I will end you, mutt," Jasper said.
"Don't want me to spill her blood? Saving it for yourself?" Jake sneered.
"Both of you, stop it and stop calling each other names. We're not five years old," I yelled, stepping between them. Jasper tried to push me away from Jake, but one look at my face and he stopped. I could see the effort it was taking to restrain himself.
"Maybe you could help the situation a bit?" I suggested.
"I am," he responded and I could see the effort it was taking. "His anger is just so strong."
I turned back to Jake. "Jake, we're leaving now. I was just paying my respects. This is my last time in Forks. We'll be leaving soon."
"So you're going to let him change you? Is that what you really want? You want to be like the woman that killed my brothers?" He stated shaking again.
"Jacob, the Cullens feed from animals as you very well know. I will be doing the same. We are going away from civilization for my change until I can control myself. You will not see me again and I will be no threat to your people." I kept my voice very firm.
"If you do this, the treaty is broken. If you do this, we will kill any and all of you on sight." Jake was looking murderous.
Jasper finally spoke up. "Jacob Black, we understand your warning. We will be leaving town shortly and will not return again. I would like you to understand that a Seer has prophesied Bella becoming a vampire. It is her destiny."
"Her destiny?" Jake scoffed. "Her fucking destiny to be the undead? How fucked up is that? What kind of lies has he been telling you, Bella?"
"I'm the one that told him, Jake. You remember the carnival gypsy?" I reminded him.
"That was bullshit. She was raving," Jake said dismissively before turning his hate-filled expression back to my mate.
"It's not bullshit, Jake," I said. Perhaps he needed a demonstration.
"Jazz, you hunted last night while I was sleeping right?" I asked and he nodded knowingly. He narrowed his eyes at me. "Bella, no. I told you, don't tempt fate." His emotions were pleading with me.
"Jasper, I'm not tempting fate. Maybe it will make him understand. You know first aid if anything goes wrong," I said. Finally, to my surprise actually, he nodded just slightly.
"Jake, do you have a knife on you?" I asked. He usually carried one on him. He pulled one from his back pocket and I walked forward to take it from him. Before he could realize what I was doing and object, I made a quick, deep slice in my wrist, piercing the artery. My blood pulsed from my wrist with each beat of my heart.
Jake quickly ripped his shirt from his body and covered my wrist while blocking me from Jasper.
"I'm fine, mutt. I wouldn't hurt my mate. Can you say the same?" Jasper said, cockily.
I huffed. "Jasper, not helping!"
"Sorry," he said. I knew this was tough, but we'd discussed and agreed to let me handle it if we ran into any of the pack while we were in town.
"Jake, stop. Look at my wrist," I commanded as I pulled his t-shirt away from the wound. Just as I had been depending on, the cut started closing itself up right in front of our eyes.
Jake stood there for several minutes watching the change. I let him have the time, and Jasper continued to send out calm.
"Bella?" he looked up at me, analyzing me. It was like he was seeing me for the first time. "What are you?"
"I'm complicated," I said, and Jake chuckled at my answer.
"Still quoting movies, I see."
"Yeah, I'll stop doing that as soon as I can come up with the witty responses myself," I joked and I sensed Jake relax a little.
"Jake, this is my choice but it has always been my destiny. I've made my choice and I do this without regrets. We'll be leaving town very soon and we won't be back. I don't expect you to like my decision, but I do expect you to respect it. I deserve that." I said calmly but firmly.
Jake tensed up again and I knew I'd lost him again.
"Leave and don't come back." His eyes flashed in disgust as he looked at me one more time before turning away from me. "You are going to be one of them. You are dead to me Bella Swan," he said in a cold voice. He ran toward the woods and phased mid-leap right at the tree line.
"Well, that could have gone better, but it could have been worse," I said as I turned back to Jasper. He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into his body.
"I don't like that mutt," Jasper muttered.
"Jazz, his name is Jake. I understand you don't like each other and are natural enemies, but he used to be my friend. Please use his name. You have to give respect to get respect, though it seems to be a lost cause."
"I'm sorry Bella. I know he still means something to you." I nodded and watched the ground as we walked back to the car.
"I hate that fact, but yes, he does still mean something to me," I admitted.
"Well, let's go pick up our stuff and we'll get a hotel in Port Angeles tonight," Jasper suggested.
"That sounds great. I'm ready. I want to go home."