A/N: I have rewritten this chapter approximately nineteen times. It's causing me a fair amount of stress that I won't be able to change it again now that I'm posting it. I don't own Glee, and I'll talk to you at the end. Also the fact that no one writes Niffbastian fics is giving me some stress.
Chapter Twenty-One:
The Weasley Twins ain't got nothing on Niff.
It didn't matter to Blaine now, if they won, if they didn't win, who gave a fuck, he was going to NYADA. He was moving to New York with Sebastian, and they were going to be happy forever. At least that was the plan.
It was a long drive to Philly. They could have flown, with their money, but for some reason driving seemed like a better idea. Hunter offered to drive the A-crew, so Blaine was squished between Nick and Jeff in the backseat of Hunter's SUV.
"I'm going to NYADA, Bas is going to NYU," Blaine said. "Hunt, where are you going?"
"West Point," Hunter answered promptly.
"Should have known," Blaine said, nodding. "And you two?"
"University of Michigan," Nick replied. "We debated there or Northwestern, but…"
"It's not glamorous or anything, but we'll both be there and that's all that really matters, isn't it?" Jeff said. He was trying to hold hands with Nick across Blaine, but it was difficult.
"This is a super long-ass drive, and I'll probably regret asking, but why don't you tell us the story of how you two got together?" Sebastian said, stretching out, lazily. He was in the front seat, like an asshole.
"It was a beautiful and magical time…" Jeff began.
Contrary to popular belief, Nick and Jeff had met as small children, even though they grew up on separate sides of the country. Jeff's family lived nearby in Ohio. Nick's was from Texas.
It was fate. The Duvals and the Sterlings both took the same cruise vacation, leaving their sons in the same kid-friendly environment on the boat. They weren't sure why, but they became best friends in the seven days they were there.
It seems strange that a seven day encounter could turn into life-long friendship, but it did. In the years to come, the boys rang up phone bills so high that each set of parents got their son his own cell phone. Jeff was the first one to suggest online communication, even bought a webcam and headset for Nick. Summer was the best, because they spent a whole month together, trading off whose house they were at.
When Jeff found out he was going to a boarding school, he promptly informed Nick, and they spent weeks begging Nick's parents to send him to Dalton as well. Finally the Duvals relented, and Nick and Jeff were living together at last, best friends thrown together by fate.
Halfway through freshman year, just as the Warblers were gearing up for Regionals, a new kid came along: Blaine Warbler. Then-junior Wes took the extremely talented, extremely good-looking freshman Blaine under his wing. You can't get into the Warblers unless you're good-looking, it's a pre-requisite. We're still not sure how Sebastian got in.
Blaine had transferred in from Westerville High, where'd he'd been—
"You know what?" Blaine interjected. "I actually know my own story, thanks."
So the very talented, extremely sexy, freshman Blaine became the third Musketeer to Nick and Jeff's one and two. So late in the semester, he had to triple his dorm up with Nick and Jeff. Blaine became the star of the Warblers, quickly moving to legendary status. Nick and Jeff worked as his crowd control. As a result, they became best friends.
"They may be playing this up a bit," Blaine said. They'd stopped at a Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and pee break (or if you were Sebastian and Blaine, a quickie in the handicapped stall), and were now back on the road. "We were roommates and friends, but I'm not famous."
"Baby, please," Sebastian said. "You're Blaine freaking Anderson. Now be quiet. Councilor Duval, you have the floor."
So, Nick and Jeff were living with Blaine. Blaine was gay and he didn't hide it, and they were okay with it. Jeff had always known he was too, though he didn't parade it around. It didn't really matter, one way or the other, especially with Dalton's no tolerance rules – the reason the Sterlings had chosen to send Jeff there in the first place.
Nick hadn't ever thought about it – being best friends with someone 1000 miles away was always his top priority. Girls were somewhere around 27th. That was your first clue. It didn't change how he saw his best friend or Blaine. Blaine became everyone's favorite person. The Warblers would fight over whose turn it was to do his hair. And even though they lost at Regionals, it didn't matter that much. They still had the nursing home shows. With Blaine as their star, the Warblers were virtually unstoppable.
Summer passed, Nick and Jeff stayed at Jeff's house for the most part, pretending to be spies or superheroes or whatnot. Blaine promised to visit but he lied! No, shut up, Blaine, I'm telling the story!
Fall eventually came, and with it came a real spy – one Kurt Hummel, Mr. Blaine Devon Anderson's personal Teenage Dream. He was bullied at his school and a few weeks later finally transferred. Blaine had gotten his own dorm at the start of the year, but Kurt chose not to live on campus, though he was technically assigned to be Blaine's roommate.
Nick and Jeff knew Kurt was moved with Blaine, and considered kicking Blaine until he caught up. The issue? Blaine was in love with a 26-year-old junior manager at the North Hills Gap. Man, he had some hair. That was embarrassing as hell, I'm sure.
'Twas Valentine's Day, though, and Kurt set up a Single's Party at Breadstix, and the Warblers were the entertainment. Nick took the opportunity to meet a girl – Ashleigh, if I remember correctly.
Totally bombed his date, by the way, Hunter, if that makes you feel any better. Instead of going to Jeff with his problems, he went to Blaine. I wasn't there, of course, but they probably going into some kind of sassy slapfight.
—Anyhow, it wasn't until the Sexy lesson that Nick finally caught on. Under the cover of tons and tons of bubbles, Nick finally kissed Jeff. Jeff was surprised, but very, very happy. They went back to their room to continue kissing and they've been dating ever since.
To thank Blaine for all his help, Nick and Jeff decided to hook him up with Kurt. I'm not going to go into specifics here, but Nick and Jeff noticed that Kurt was the sort of person who gets emotional over dead birds. Because there are two types of people in the world, people who get emotional over dead birds, and people who don't get emotional over dead birds, and Kurt is the kind that gets emotional over dead birds.
"Told you so," Sebastian interjected.
Nick and Jeff regretfully killed Pavarotti. Technically, they poisoned her water. Technically, they are horrible, awful people. Technically, it was totally worth it. Technically, you use the word 'technically' way too much, J. Shut it. Blaine totally realized he loved Kurt while Kurt was singing Blackbird. Jeff suggested to Blaine that he might sing a duet with Kurt for Regionals – something emotional, like Candles, by Hey Monday.
"Oh, God, no. No more candles," Blaine said.
If you hadn't noticed, Blaine was usually so Top 40. Long story very short, Blaine and Kurt got together, but the Warblers lost Regionals. That's okay though, Klaine is better than a lousy trophy.
Life went on, as it tends to do. Kurt transferred back to McKinley. The New Directions lost at Nationals, if it makes anyone feel any better. I think they came in 12th. God, that sucks. I hope we don't come in 12th. Summer came and went, it was wonderful, who cares. The first day of school came, and there was Blaine Warbler, in his Warbler outfit, dreamy as ever, leading Warbler practice, electing a new council. It was fantastic.
Except that night when Nick and Jeff heard a clamoring from the room next to theirs. Blaine was dressed in capri pants, bowtie, and sweater vest, throwing everything he owned into boxes. He was transferring to McKinley to be with Kurt. Nick and Jeff were supportive. Blaine called an emergency council meeting and named Nick as his successor. Then, he was gone.
Literally the next morning, there was someone new moving into Blaine's dorm room. Nick and Jeff decided to meet their new neighbor. Sebastian Smythe, what a douche. He was so douchey. He looked like a douche, he sounded like a douche, he acted like a douche, and then he showed up to Warbler practice. And he was a douche there, too.
"Guys, I'm sitting right here!" Sebastian protested.
"Shut up," Jeff said.
"Thanks for being supportive, as always," Sebastian mumbled.
Sebastian had a tendency to talk over people and think he was better than everyone else. One by one, Sebastian picked off the Warblers and the other boys at Dalton, including us, to have one-afternoon stands in his single dorm room. Loudly. Nick and Jeff picked noise fights randomly. They still hold the trophy for loudest sexual encounter.
"And Blaine and I are going to take you up on that, I promise," Sebastian said.
Blaine came to visit the Warblers, to invite them to his opening night in West Side Story. Sebastian, it seemed, had a fantastic crush on the former legend. That just wouldn't do. Unfortunately, Sebastian terrified Nick and Jeff, and they didn't dare try to stop any of his ridiculous schemes, which were numerous. Finally, Dave Karofsky, whom Nick, Jeff, and Trent had met when they'd gone with Sebastian to Scandals one night, attempted suicide. Nick and Jeff decided Sebastian had gone too far, he needed to be stopped. He would change his ways or he'd be out of the Warblers, new captain or not.
Sebastian shaped up, and though the Warblers lost at Regionals, their best friend Blaine won, and Sebastian learned life's too short to blind people with rock salt. The rest of that year passed pretty uneventfully. Finally, that brings us to senior year. Another newcomer to the Warblers showed up, moving into Sebastian's room. Nick and Jeff greeted him happily, hoping he'd be better than Sebastian at any rate. He asked for a brief overview of the Warblers, and any information they could spare on Sebastian. It was not a short conversation by any account.
When the first Warblers meeting was convened for the semester, Hunter petitioned the council for a few things. One, Captaincy, which the Warblers were only too willing to give him, and Two, a seat on the council. After a brief conversation, Councilor Sterling agreed to give up his council seat to Hunter.
"I think everyone else is familiar with the rest of the story, to be honest," Nick finally said. "Where are we?"
"Looking for the parking garage for the hotel," Hunter said.
"We're there already?" Blaine asked, jolting awake. He'd fallen asleep a few hours ago, head on Nick's shoulder.
"Yeah, sleepyhead, you missed most of the story," Jeff said, indignantly.
"We slammed Sebastian a few times, just to make sure you were really asleep," Nick said. Hunter parked the car, and the quintet gathered their bags. They checked into their rooms, and then loaded up the elevator.
"So, I made a decision," Hunter said. "I know I'm not Captain anymore, or even Vice Captain, and I'm barely on the council, and I'm kind of a jerk, and I sort of made Sebastian come onto me and got Blaine very angry with me…"
"Did this story have a point, because I'm sure pissing me off again wasn't it," Blaine interrupted.
"I want Nick and Jeff to have Two Princes," Hunter said. "They sounded so good when they sang it before, and they've never done a duet together."
"Yeah, and I don't think Nationals is the best time to try that out," Blaine said. "We want to win, don't we?"
"Hey," Jeff said. "We gave up Regionals two years ago for you and Kurt. Then you cheated on him and ruined all our good work. You could at least return the favor."
"I'm not saying you can't have the song if Hunter wants to give it to you," Blaine said. "He's on the council, he has the power. I'm just saying, don't sleep with Sebastian while you're dating someone else." Sebastian punched Blaine in the arm softly, and Blaine laughed. "It worked out for me, but I don't think so much for you."
"If you had to date one of the other Warblers besides each other, which one would you pick?" Sebastian asked.
"Blaine," Nick said at the same time Jeff declared, "Sebastian." They turned to stare at each other.
"Oh-hoo," Blaine said, looking at Sebastian. "Interesting. What about you, Bas?"
"Oh, definitely Hunter," Sebastian laughed. "Hunt?"
"Yeah, if I had to pick one of you, I guess it would be Sebastian," Hunter grumbled.
"What about you, Blaine?" Nick asked.
"Oh, God," Blaine said. "I don't know."
"If you had to," Sebastian said. "I won't be offended. Tell us."
"I don't know!" Blaine exclaimed. "Hunter, I guess."
"Ew, why Hunter?" Sebastian asked.
"You said you wouldn't be offended!" Blaine argued. The rest laughed, except Hunter who seemed revolted. The elevator finally dinged them free on the 15th floor.
"We'll see you later, I guess," Jeff said, as they all went their separate ways.
"Practice in my room at 6 sharp," Hunter called.
"So, a 26-year-old junior manager at the Gap," Sebastian said to Blaine.
"Yeah," Blaine said, almost wistfully. "If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50% discount."
A/N: Um, so... I think I read about Niff killing Pavarotti in someone else's fic and decided to run with it? I personally think it's canon. In fact, most of the time I forget that season 4 fell to shit and just agree to believe this story is the canon. It doesn't kick me as hard in the feels as the real episodes are inevitably going to. Anyone keeping up on spoilers want to just scream? (Not going to spoil, just in case you don't want to be spoiled. Nothing unaired will go into this story).
Love you all. Samantha.
PS, this chapter was originally Chapter 21: Nationals. Then I wrote all this and realized I wasn't going to be able to fit nationals into this chapter. so 22 is nationals. then I did the same thing with 23. I was like YEAH! Chapter 23: WIP (Wedding In Paris) then I wrote the entire chapter on Graduation. And then 24 and 25 were graduation. Then 26 ended up being in that same area. And I started writing 27 as Paris, and then realized I need 27 for graduation too. I swear to God, there will be an end to this story. I just don't know where or how.