It was just about noon and Jake and I were finally within minutes of my parent's and I had a knot formulating in my stomach. Jake had his hand locked with mine on the shift knob and was gazing out the window, his eyes alive with excitement. He'd never been this far away from home before, had never see a place like this. The scenery, the sun and the hustle and bustle of upscale busy living was a new world for him. I imagined I looked remarkably similar as took in his home with new eyes; I guessed the awed and enthusiastic grin he adorned was not much different from my own nearly a year ago.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," he said as he drew his eyes to me, a sparkle dancing in them as I slowed at the light just in front of the gated community I had once called home. I smiled back at him, my heart dancing slightly at the fact that he was so captivated by my home town. "I'm glad you like it," I said softly as I started to make my turn into the entrance. "It's incredible out here, I don't know why the hell you'd take Forks over this it's amazing here!" he said shaking his head as he looked back out the window. I smiled and let his hand slip from mine as he stuck his head out the window to get a better look at the landscape. He looked like a giddy child seeing Disneyland for the first time and it pleased me to be able to show him something he thought was so spectacular. "You had a fucking gatekeeper? Shut the fuck up!" Jake said as he motioned to the booth and the steel gates that blocked our path.

I laughed softly to myself as I rolled forward slowly and hung out the window enough to see who was in the booth. Much to my delight I saw exhilaration glimmer in familiar burnt umber hued eyes. "Holy shit if it isn't Paige! How the hell are you?" Donovan said in a enthusiastic tone as he leaned out of the booth and grinned. I reciprocated the smile and pushed my sunglasses up into my hair as I spoke in an honestly pleasant tone, "I'm doing amazing, Forks had just what I needed." He beamed as he studied my face, "You look great, a little paler than I remember but awesome none the less." I laughed softly as I shrugged my shoulders, "Well that's what overcast 98% of the time does to you. But I can't complain." He laughed and shook his head as he held my eyes, "Either way Forks looks great on you." "Thanks Van. How have you been? You look exactly the way I remember," I said running my eyes over his face as I smiled. He shrugged and threw his hands up in a 'what can I say' manner as he spoke, "Can't complain, some things never change I guess." I nodded in acceptance and his eyes shifted passed me and fell onto the backseat, he looked slightly disappointed as he examined the contents of it. "Didn't really bring much back with you Paige, only a visit I gather?" he said his tone slightly less excited. "Yep," I said sitting back enough to pat Jake's leg, "Just brought the things I couldn't be without really. Just coming to spend my birthday with my folks, I'll be leaving next Friday for home."

Van looked slightly taken aback as his eyes finally met Jake's. "Jake this is my friend Van. Van this is my Jacob," I said motioning to the appropriate parties as I introduced them. "Nice to meet you," Jake said as he gave Van a quick wave and smiled in a mildly dickish manner. "Yeah, same here," Van said forcing a smile as he held Jake's eye for a moment before turning them back to me. "So I bet your Mom is super excited, it's been like what seven months since you left? I'm really surprised she didn't mention it," he said as he forced himself to seem composed. "She actually has no idea, she hasn't left yet today right?" I said in a hopefully manner. "Nope haven't seen her yet," he said shaking his head as he smiled. "Perfect!" I said excitedly as I pulled my glasses down, "It was really nice to see you Van." "Yeah you too Paige…" he said as he leaned back into the booth and reached for the button to buzz us through before he came flying back out abruptly, "Hey, if you don't have the whole week planned, the whole crew is having a bonfire out on the beaches tomorrow night, you should stop by for old times sake." I smiled genuinely and nodded my head as I spoke in a excited tone, "We might be able to make an appearance." Van hesitated for a moment and then answered in a slightly suggestive tone, "Well I hope to see you there Paige. It'd be really nice to catch up with you a bit." The way he left Jake out of the statement made it painfully clear that I knew he wasn't thrilled to have Jacob coming but I neither acknowledge it nor gave a damn if it bothered him at that point, Jake and I were a package deal. "Sure, we'll try. No promises," I said emphasizing the we part of the statement. He smiled in a slightly defeated manner, before releasing the gates for us to pass. I waved sweetly before rolling into the community.

Jacob chuckled softly to himself for a moment before he pivoted himself dramatically towards me and spoke in an exaggerated tone, "I hope to see you there, cause you look great. I bet I'd look even better on you then Forks." I threw my hand into his shoulder and laughed as I attempted to scold him, "Leave him alone Jake, he's a really sweet guy." He recoiled away from me and scanned my face for sincerity as he spoke in giddy tone, "A really nice guy? Please tell me you did not date that pantywaist. And if you did you had to have been intoxicated or dropping some serious acid your whole fucking relationship." I laughed despite myself and shot him an playful glare, "Van? Really? Give it a rest he didn't have a shot in hell and I am actually offended that you would ask me that."

He blew his breath out in dramatic manner before he responded while he lightly tapped my leg, "Good thing Babe because that would have totally killed my image of you." I rolled my eyes as I shook my head and spoke in an unconvinced tone, "Don't lie you were sweating him. Scared of a little competition, playing it off as disregard. Don't worry I think it's cute." "Him?" he said spinning to look over his shoulder at the booth, "If that's my competition you've seriously lowered your standards." "Don't think so highly of yourself there darlin'," I said in a dismissive manner as I turned onto Zanzibar Drive, "The crop wasn't really that lush in Forks. You are the only one who's father isn't your brother's mother's sister's uncle. Plus you got all your teeth." I threw him a wink and he nodded in an acceptance before he gave me one more evil smile, "You haven't met my Mom's family yet obviously."

I let out a small fit of laughter, I would never get over how amazingly fucked up our dialogue could be; I absolutely loved it. As I thought of how insanely in sync our comedic mannerisms were it dawned on me that we had to arrive at my parent's in style. So, I pulled the car over several hundred yards from the driveway next to the side yard which housed my Dad's small one bay garage for his Bentley which was separated from the main yard by a rock wall and lush garden where my mother would sit and admire her flowers. I killed the engine, pulled up the e-brake and turned towards him to divulge my master plan. He pointed out the window as he spoke in a sarcastic tone, "I guess the gatekeeper is just a front huh? I like your house, it's very quaint."

I swatted him in a playful manner and spoke quickly and with much excitement in my tone, "Shut up you. Listen, whatya say we make this interesting?" He turned towards me and smiled in an eager manner, "I'm listening." "Okay she won't know you from Adam so you should walk up to the front door and say anything that comes to mind to get her talking and I'll come up from the side and take her off guard," I said in a propositional manner. He contemplated it momentarily before eyeing me with a conflicted demeanor, "So you want me to play all wounded traveler so she can get all weirded out while you go all creeper status through the bushes to get a rise outta her?" It sounded slightly sinister that way but that was the general idea. I went to retort but he threw the door open, jumped out, closed the door swiftly and spoke over his shoulder as he smiled and headed down the sidewalk towards the house, "I'm game."

I giggled excitedly as I climbed out and started across the road, locking the doors over my shoulder as moved quickly through the yard. I stayed low and moved in a stealthy manner as I worked my way towards the house, being careful to not be seen. I sidestepped along the vine cover rock entrance to my mother's garden, peering quickly passed the trellis to be sure she wasn't out there. I slinked into the flower bed in front of the house, being careful to not drag my feet through the stones as I watched Jake approach the front door. He held my eyes, waiting for me to give him the okay. I ducked under the large dining room windows and nodded once when I was within ten feet of him pressed close to the house blocked from the door by the pillar.

He winked and rang the doorbell once, slipped his hands into his pocket and gazed up at the door from under his brow. Puppy dog look, nice move. I heard my Mom cuss something fierce before shouting clearly, "One minute." I heard her moving quickly across the hardwood floor and the familiar click of her unbolting the door before the hinges squeaked mildly and she spoke in a composed and proper tone, "Yes?" I could hear her ridiculously old Richard Simmons tape blasting out of the door, 'Come on ladies get those legs high. You are beautiful ladies just marvelous!'(When the hell was she going to get rid of those God awful things?) Jake bit his lips softly and spoke in a mild and innocent tone-something I was not used to, "Hello Ma'am. I really hate to do this, but I've been working my way back home to Washington for the past two weeks. I'm tired and hungry and don't have a single dollar left to my name. I haven't slept in a bed in fourteen days and I could really use a hot meal. Would it be too much to ask if I could spend just one night here in your beautiful home. I swear I mean you no harm and would be gone by morning." I fought against laughing as I heard my mother stammer in response to Jake's rant.

"I'm real sorry to hear of your troubles Honey and you don't seem to be a threat of any sort but I don't think I can help you," she said nervously before the hinges began squeaking again. I went to move but Jake spoke so quickly that I froze, "I know this seems awful weird and all but I really just need a bed, or a couch or even the floor. Anything besides the backseat of my broke down car. Please Ma'am I'd be much obliged and I'd be willing to work for my keep tonight." It took every ounce of my control to not burst into laughter as I listened to his pitch. It took several breathes before my Mom spoke in a more composed manner this time, "Honestly Dear you are dreadfully handsome-in the dirty pool boy I'd have an affair with sort of way but I can't just let you stay in my home. If I were twenty years younger or so- when I lacked inhibitions and all I could most likely think of a few things that you could do for me but at my age and in my state I just can't do it. I am really sorry, believe me I am." I popped out quickly and slipped into her line of view as she started to close the door, "Hey you fucking hussy, maybe having me around will change your mind."

She jumped back several feet and let out a startled scream as she threw a towel in our general direction and clenched her chest with her free hand before she had enough time to realize who I was. I laughed in a slightly evil way as I watched recognition flash across her face, followed closely by embarrassment. "Paige Guinevere Monroe I swear to all that is holy-" she started before she regained her bearings and started to charge me. I flinched and stumbled backwards, almost losing my footing as she slammed into me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She started kissing my cheek frantically as she still held me close and I laughed softly, "Happy Birthday Mama." She pulled away and looked at me, her eyes misting lightly as a smile danced across her lips, "It is now."

She kissed my once more on the cheek and released me, letting me drop my guard long enough so she flick my ear and scold me, "That's for making me damn near wet myself. Sneaking up like that on your Mother is horrible." She was always ridiculously accurate with those, had been my whole life, it was sort of her calling card. I recoiled and cupped my ears, shielding them from another assault as I protested, "Hey personal foul, unnecessary roughness." "That was me being nice but I'll give you unnecessary roughness if you every pull that shit again," she said as she narrowed her eyes and pointed at me before she turned her glare to Jacob. She ran her eyes up and down him, her still pointed finger moving in a synchronized pattern as she spoke, "And you!" Jacob pulled away from her, preparing himself for a thrashing before she completed her thought, "Tall, dark and sexy-you've got to be Jacob." His stance relaxed and a devious smiled flickered across his lips, "Beautiful, intuitive and spunky-it's very apparent that all of Paige's lovable qualities come from you." She let out a the classic giddy, nervous teenage girl giggle before she turned to me her, cheeks slightly rosy, as she said, "Oh Paige I just adore this one. He's like Eddy Haskell minus the awful curly hair."

I rolled my eyes as I responded in a humored tone, "Your dating yourself Mother." I took a slightly offended stance as I slammed my hands onto my hips, "And wait a second, I get assaulted for sneaking up on you and he gets a prepubescent giggle? That's that bullshit." She smiled in polite manner and batted her eyelashes as she spoke in a overly restrained tone, "Twenty-seven hours of labor earned me the right to assault you kiddo."

Jake laughed in slightly sadistic manner as he pointed at me and I stuck my tongue out in an equally childish manner as a navy blue sedan came tearing into the driveway it's orange light pulsating and a toy like emergency siren blaring. We all turned towards it as three rotund security guards leap from the car in matching blue uniforms and armed with drawn nightsticks as the tires squealed to a halt.

"Is everything alright here Mrs. Monroe?" the largest of the officers said in a husky tone. "I am not really sure what you are referring to," my Mother said in a questioning manner as she cocked her head to the side. "We got a call of a possible burglary in process for your neighbor. Said they saw someone sneaking around the house. Do you need us to search the place?" he said his tone eager as he paused, hoping my mother would give him the okay to spring into action. I struggled against the laughter and shook my head attempting to control myself before I responded accordingly. But before I could answer my mother let out a small chuckle and threw up a dismissive hand, "Oh I'm terribly sorry to get you all the way up here on false pretenses officers. That was just my daughter and her boyfriend playing a dirty little trick on me." He eyed Jacob and I with deep disappointment and tipped his hat before he turned to walk away calling, "No trouble Ma'am" over his shoulder as his sidekicks let out disgruntled sighs before climbing back into the car. It seemed another day would pass with no action for the brave men with stitched on badges.

"If it would suit you, you may take my no good daughter with you for questioning, just as long as you leave Jake here with me for some interrogation of my own," she called out to the men, causing the one to stop in his steps and turn his confused eyes back to her as I shouted, "Mom!" and threw my hand into her shoulder. "She's kidding with you. She's a sick and sadistic old bat pay her no mind gentlemen. I am sorry you had to come out here for my foolish behavior. Enjoy the rest of your day," I said smiling as the last man climbed back in to the car and silenced the siren with a look of sheer confusion and disbelief on his face.

"It's not nice to poke fun at the B-Squad Ma," I said threw my teeth as I smiled profusely at the men and gave them a quick wave before they reversed out of the driveway. "They were more like the J-Squad, that was pathetic. I feel real safe now," Jake said laughing to himself. "I was serious Paige, they can have you me and your man have tons to discuss. He did say he'd work for his keep. Didn't you dear?" she said as she pushed me off the step, linked Jake's arm and started to lead him into the house. "Okay, I'll let you video tape me cleaning the pool but only if you have an iridescent banana hammock waiting for me, you promise not to put it on YouTube and I can do it to a Richard Simmons soundtrack," he said in a completely serious tone as they entered the foyer. My Mom let out a full hearted laugh and threw her head back before responding in a light hearted tone, "That can be arranged." I laughed to myself as I watched them; I knew they'd love each other.