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I hope you will all love this chapter...
CHAPTER 22: HOPE
"I know both of you so well."
Elsa and Hiccup' lips curled up at the same time. And that's when Hiccup's phone rang. The auburn-haired made a facepalm.
"I forgot our date!" he shrieked and
opened Astrid's call.
The couple talked for minutes and Hiccup explained how he and Elsa finally became friends again. Elsa giggled when she heard Astrid's shouts because of excitement.
"You can invite the witch to here." Jack commented.
"Jack, don't call my girlfriend a witch." Hiccup snapped while he was still talking with Astrid.
"I bet you can't tell her face that." Elsa snorted.
"I can."
"Can't wait." Elsa smirked and challenged him.
Jack coughed abruptly and Elsa was totally sure that he did that on purpose. Half an hour later, the doorbell rang.
Elsa never, ever EVER saw Astrid that excited until that very moment. She was jumping enthusiastically and once she saw Hiccup, she immediately crashed her lips on his, caused him to blush madly. Then she wrapped her arms around Elsa and nearly choked her to death. Elsa experienced a grim reminder that she should never fight physically with Astrid. She was really strong. After Astrid released her, she coughed and tried to get some air.
And when Astrid saw Jack, who was currently sitting on the couch... She gave him her biggest smile. Before Jack could even process her actions, Astrid hugged him.
"Thank you Jack." she whispered, Jack could feel her smile even though he couldn't see her face.
"You're welcome... I suppose even witches can thank some time to time." he smirked.
"Jack Frost, I will torture you..." Astrid's voice light and lovely voice immediately changed to a deadly one.
Jack gulped but hid it with a chill laugh.
"Seriously, how can you love him?!" Astrid shrieked, broke the hug and made a big effort to not to punch him.
"Love you too~" Jack sweetly smiled while Astrid was trying not to murder him.
Elsa laughed and Hiccup nervously giggled while he tried to comfort his girlfriend.
"By the way... I think you guys shouldn't ruin your date because of us." Elsa pointed out to the clock.
"Oh it is okay..." Astrid tried to argue back but Jack supported Elsa.
"I agree with Snowflake. Since you guys are a couple... And a very new one, you should have alone time together. I really don't want to see you making out and eating each other faces-"
"Jack, jeez we get the point!" Hiccup blushed.
"...And also having sex." Jack smirked devilishly.
"You know what, Astrid I think it is okay with me to kill him, I will help you to cover the body." Hiccup made a poker face and spoke in a serious tone.
"Have fun guys." Elsa laughed and covered Jack's mouth with her left hand.
"I think you two should get a room," Astrid suggested and wiggled her eyebrows.
Elsa immediately blushed, on the other hand, Jack stammered and flushed.
"Anyway, bye guys!" Hiccup sent them a sweet fake smirk (but they could see that his smile was actually pretty evil) and then the couple left.
A comfortable silence passed between them. Elsa positioned Jack's pillows and poured him another cup of soup. Once they sat down on the sofa, Elsa simply stared at Jack... Waited for him to start.
"It isn't really tragic as much as yours... It is plain and simple, really." Jack smiled nervously.
His smile didn't reach to his eyes.
"Don't." Elsa hissed, her voice was harsher than she intended to.
"Pardon?" Jack asked.
"I-I hate your fake smile. Please don't... Don't fake your feelings. Please be honest with me. I hate it." she spoke shortly and shivered.
She quietly rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
"I am sorry." Jack apologized softly after two or three minutes.
"I... All my life, I faked my feelings. I always fake my feelings to protect people... Or myself. It is a habit of mine. I do not intend to that to you. I really try to be honest with you but it happens." he explained and slowly stroked her hair.
"Look, you don't have to explain me your past. You don't have to... It is foolish of me and not my business to ask but... Why did you change your hair and eye colour? I think brown really suited you." Elsa asked carefully.
Jack bit his lip. He sighed and then nodded. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Elsa's head.
"My real name is Jackson Overland... Well, it was. It's not my name anymore, but when my mom gets emotional she still uses 'Jackson'." Jack started to tell his story.
"I like it... Jackson." Elsa murmured to herself.
Jack let out a painful laugh. "Please don't call me like that... My father... He gave me this name." he paused between his sentences.
He then sighed and locked his eyes to Elsa.
"Look Snowflake, my life is really great and I indeed, a very lucky person compared to the people who suffered much more... like you. However I... I am really uncomfortable about my past. I never told anyone, not even everything to Hiccup. So, I know it is stupid to request this but I request you to keep this conversation as a secret." Jack requested in a very serious tone.
"I promise. You can trust me." Elsa nodded in the same serious tone.
Jack caressed her right hand.
"The first 4 years of my life were amazing. I had amazing parents. Everything went bad when I started kindergarten. I couldn't be friends with anyone and I couldn't focus on the tasks. My mind was always on other topics and I always wanted to move around... I had dyslexia, Snowflake. I couldn't read and I always had hard times focusing. To be honest, I still can't focus on the lessons easily. Anyway, I always had problems in school. My teachers, classmates hated me because I was always causing troubles. And of course, I had bullies."
-flashback-
6 years old Jackson smiled when the last lesson finally finished. He packed his backpack and was ready to leave school. He was about to leave the classroom but like he expects, a kid and his gang stopped him. They harshly pushed him to a wall and started to say how stupid and worthless he is, blah, blah and blah.
Jackson closed his eyes and didn't care about them. Every day, they say the same things. They made fun of his messy hair, his stupidness, his dyslexia... The auburn-haired suddenly thought about space and didn't even hear them.
-flashback ends-
"Then, Emma was born. The two years of hell suddenly vanished away. Her birthday was the happiest day of my life. She... She is my first friend. My parents were so busy because of work, I had no any family member, friends or someone else. Emma is the first person who smiled at me so dearly that I can remember. I can never forget how she grasped my finger with her newborn hand. She would always stop crying and started to laugh whenever she saw me." Jack spoke happily when he remembered those good memories.
"And for a while, everything was perfect again. My mother did her best to help me to defeat my dyslexia, Emma was there... I still had problems in school but I didn't care. I didn't care about the bullies or people' weird stares. My family life was perfect, until I started second grade. Imagine, Snowflake, one day you come home from school, you are exhausted and upset because of the difficulties that your dyslexia causes... Your father is strangely in the house and he is holding an alcohol bottle... Imagine that he... he... he beats you for nothing. Imagine he punches, kicks, yells, roars, slaps you for absolutely nothing. Imagine trying to cover your bruises and lying to your mom that you fell off the bicycle. It was the first lie that I told my mother. Imagine crying all the night..." Jack's voice trailed off and he shivered.
He looked at Elsa's face but couldn't see it. Her face was buried in his chest. Jack rested his head on his pillow and continued.
"My father was an alcoholic. He was a music teacher, but that day he came early to home. This became a routine. Once a week, usually on Saturdays when my mother was at work... He would beat me." Jack explained in a monotonous voice.
Then suddenly, he felt her tears. He felt the wetness in his chest. His shirt was wet and he realized that Elsa was sobbing quietly.
"Are you sure do you want me to continue?" Jack asked worriedly.
"Yes, please." Elsa nodded her head, her face was still buried in his chest.
Jack mentally noted himself that he shouldn't detail so much.
"My mother never knew, Emma too. I managed to lie perfectly, she wasn't even suspicious. I think my father never really loved me. Even when I was little, I could sense that my mother loved me much more. My father, I don't know, I think he truly hated me for a reason. I don't know why. Maybe because I wasn't a 'normal' child or I was too naughty. He loved Emma, but I am sure he didn't love me. So for years, he beat me. And when I became 10, my dyslexia was finally over. I still had the same problems in school but the lessons were finally easier for me." he tried to explain shortly.
He could still feel her tears but he knew Elsa wanted him to go on. He did not want to continue, he wanted to say this was all, he wanted to tell that he was joking... But obviously, the story hasn't finished yet and he wasn't lying. Jack swallowed and gave her a painful smile even though she couldn't see it.
"Truth be told, until I was 10, I dealt with a drunk father, bullies, dyslexia and lies. When my dyslexia was over, one of my problems was over but my bullies and my father hurt me even more. Even so, I managed to deal with them... Thanks to Emma. Honestly, Emma always brings the best out of me. She is the whole reason I could/can continue to smile, laugh, hope, love." Jack let out a little true beautiful smile.
"When I was 13, however, that's when my life was actually fucked up. My father was cancer when I became 13." Jack's voice suddenly became raspy and cold.
"Which one?" Elsa asked lowly.
"Brain tumor." Jack answered shortly as if he was too tired to continue.
"We weren't rich or poor. My father always spent his money on alcohol, drugs or other things, but my mother's salary was enough. She is a very successful businesswoman. She works a lot but she loves her job and earns quite well. But because of my stupid father, we had a big problem with money. Cancer treatment is not cheap, we had to spend big amounts of money to heal my father- And he- When my mom worked harder to desperately to get more money, he, he fucking flirted with the nurse in front of me, Elsa... Anyway, two years went like that. He couldn't beat me because he wasn't strong enough. His tumor made him even angrier and more aggressive though. He would yell me for hours just for I didn't put my plate in the dishwasher. When I became 15... I saw him kissing another woman in our house. He... He cheated on my mother for years and we didn't know. I was so angry with him that I left the house and didn't come back for 2 days. For two days, I just walked and ran on the streets and made my mom worried as hell. I was so broken. My grades were terrible, I didn't have even one friend all my life except Emma. I had scars, wounds and... I was only a child." Jack furiously and fastly blurted out everything.
"My mom wanted a divorce. But my father didn't want it so we had a year of struggling. Finally, when I was 16, we went to LA to see a friend of my mom, a very good lawyer. And well, at that time my father's condition got worse and... well, he died."
-flashback-
Life was a little too cruel for a sixteen years old boy.
Hiccup looked at his left leg... well, there was no leg down from his knee anymore. But it didn't hurt him physically or emotionally. A new leg can be replaced... but a new dad cannot be replaced. He lost his father, just like that.
His depression cut off by loud muffles. A boy, an auburn-haired boy opened the door, the room where Hiccup was at the hospital, rudely and loudly. The boy was looking at the same age as him. His left eye had a purpleness on it, his face had many bruises.
"Oh, isn't it here my room? Man, I mixed the numbers again. Sorry, my eyes are damaged... but it is temporary." the boy apologized and grinned widely. Hiccup sensed that he was faking.
"You look pretty bad." Hiccup commented.
The auburn haired boy laughed loudly as if he was forcing himself to laugh this hard.
"Says the guy who lost his leg... Crap. I am sorry, I didn't mean to make fun of your leg... I messed up, sorry." he apologized awkwardly.
"It is okay... It was a stupid leg anyway. I can make a new one, I believe." Hiccup said carelessly.
"I am Jackso- Frost. Jack Frost." introduced Jackson himself.
"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock." Hiccup extended his hand and Jackson gladly accepted his handshake.
"What kind of a name is that?" Jackson chuckled.
"My lineage comes from Vikings. My dad is very tied to traditions... He was." Hiccup corrected himself in a dead cold voice.
"Your father is dead?"
"Yeah. Last night."
Jackson's fake smile faded and Hiccup started to tremble.
"My father died last night too. He had cancer." Jackson explained.
"I am sorry."
"It is okay. Before he went away, he gave me a last reminder." Jack mumbled and pointed to his face.
"H-he did you this?" Hiccup shrieked in shock.
"I had worse damages. He had a habit of beating me." Jack shrugged.
Hiccup didn't know what to say.
"Anyway, I would like to see you again, but I am going to get out from here soon and I don't live in Los Angeles anyway. I live in Burgess." Jackson mumbled carelessly.
"Burgess? I am going to go there too. That's where my mom lives." Hiccup explained.
"Really? Which school are you gonna attend?"
"Burgess High."
"I am going to go to Burgess High too." his eyes lit up.
A light, little smile came across to Hiccup's face.
"I hope we can be... friends. I never have friends." Jackson explained uncomfortably.
"Yeah, I hope we can." Hiccup's smile grew wider.
The two sixteen years old boys smiled stupidly for minutes... they weren't alone. They understood each other.
-flashback ends-
"So yeah. That night I met Hiccup. We lost our father on the very same day and we were both at the same hospital. Too much coincidence, but thanks to that coincidence, I finally made a friend. Hiccup is my first friend if you don't count Emma. That year I changed my school because I had bullies in my first year of high school too. After my father's death, I wanted to change... I always wanted to be theJack Frost, you know? He was my favourite myth... So I dyed my hair and had been through an operation to change my brown eyes to the blue ones... I wanted to change completely. Luckily and oddly my mom's old last name was Frost... My mother got her old surname and she gladly changed mine and Emma's too. That's how Jackson Overland died and Jack Frost came." he explained.
"Still, sometimes Emma introduces herself as Emma Overland and they still call me Jackson. But I hate it when I receive a reminder of my past self. I... I want to forget everything so I want to change completely." Jack's voice trailed off as he thought very deeply.
She exactly knew that feeling. To want to become someone else. To have the opportunity for a new start. She never could do that though, her past always followed her. It wasn't different with Jack either. No matter how much you ran, you can't escape from your past... because it is a part of yourself and you can't delete a part of yourself. It is simply impossible.
"Changing the school helped. When I started Burgess High, nobody knew me. I was the cool, mysterious guy and the girls suddenly obsessed with me. I think that was because I had a mysterious aura and I looked more handsome compared to my younger self... I suddenly became the popular jerk without even realizing it. I suddenly found myself that I bullied a person and had tons of girlfriends that I didn't love. Before I know, I was a playboy, a jerk and a bully of exactly 3 people including you. But I was okay with that because people loved me. I got all the attention that I never had for my whole life and finally the damn spotlights were on me. It felt, it felt really great for a moment. But then, it slipped away. I suddenly found myself drowned in a crowd of fake people. Everything was fake. I realized that nobody loved me, none of those girls loved me, they just wanted to get in my pants, that's all. Only Hiccup, Rapunzel and Merida loved me. And I was okay with that... Until I realized that I was actually actually bullying 3 people. All my life, I hated bullies and I abruptly became one. I did my best to make them forgive me. The other two who I wasn't bullying them so not so much forgave me, but you Elsa, you were a different story. You hated me more than anyone could. You hated me so deeply. Thank you for that because you never faked your feelings. Even my best friends were faking their feelings but not you. You were depressed and you showed it, you didn't hide it. You were angry, sad, broken, hateful... And you showed it. I hid my feelings and faked them for so long that I forgot my real smile. You reminded me that I was a human and a person who had many feelings deep inside. Thank you Elsa." Jack calmly thanked from the bottom of his heart.
She wanted to say something, to do something. She wanted to yell, to stroke his hair, to-to kiss him... But all she could do was crying. She sobbed and wrapped her arms around his neck and her face was still buried in his chest.
They didn't speak a word after that, she continued to sob and he just held her for God knows how long. And when the front door opened, Elsa didn't even bother to clean her tears because she was still crying. She muttered a good evening to Jack's mother and Emma and attempted to leave that house. Jack didn't let her go though. He gave her a long hug and they just ignored his mother and sister's questioning face.
"See you tomorrow, Elsa." Jack smiled tenderly.
Elsa managed to nod shortly and opened the front door.
"Bye Jackson." she mumbled without even realizing that she was using his old name.
And she left just like that.
"Jack, how did she-" Caroline started but her question faded when Jack let out a bitter smile.
"I told her everything, mom." he mumbled and Caroline let out an 'oh'.
"Mom? Emma?"
"Yes Jack?"
"I just want to tell you that I love both of you so much."
"We love you too Jack." Emma cheered and hugged him.
Jack looked through the window. Tomorrow... He really wanted tomorrow to come as soon as possible.
She never cried that much in her life. Oh wait, she did twice. When Tadashi and her parents died, she sobbed this long too. This was the third time. Elsa's eyes were wet, red and swollen. Her lips were trembling and her throat was tight, she could barely breathe. She just couldn't stop crying. Her cheeks were dusted with red and she was trembling.
Once she saw her house, she ran and opened the door quickly. She suddenly remembered that she forget to work today and she hoped Gerda was okay with that. And when she saw Arianna and Frederic, Elsa hugged both of them tightly, she continued to sob loudly.
"E-Elsa! Dear, are you okay?" Arianna gasped in shock.
"What happened?" Frederic questioned her worriedly.
Elsa looked at them, tears were streaming down her face but she didn't care. She hugged them even more tightly.
"I am sorry." she apologized.
"Why are you apologizing, dear?" Arianna asked, confused.
"I never told you how much I love you. I love you, I love both of you so much. You take care of me and Anna. You are just like my parents and you did your best effort to make us happy. I never said a proper thank you and I acted like a spoiled depressed brat. Thank you aunt and uncle. You're like a father and a mother to me. I love both of you so much and I am so sorry for not understanding how amazing and precious you are, until today." Elsa claimed in a trembled voice.
Life is the worst.
Really, sometimes, even though you have chances to make a great life, sometimes life is the worst.
The broken smiles, the hateful and extremely, oh so extremely stupid people, the broken promises and lives... Sometimes, when your throat is tight and you can't breathe because you are too angry, afraid and upset... Everything is so unbearable. Sometimes life is too bad that you want to die. Sometimes you just want to leave every person, every single responsibility, every single... Love. Because sometimes, yeah sometimes, you are too tired and so sick of life that you hate the people you love most.
Sometimes your cries and your screams, all of your feelings aren't important. Sometimes life is too lifeless. Sometimes it is too hard and too fake.
Fake.
Life is sometimes fake and sometimes lifeless.
But the keywords aren't fake and lifeless. The keyword is 'sometimes'. Fake, anger, stupidity, depression... You can all relate those negative things to life, but not for always. We can relate bad and good things as sometimes to life cause life contains all of them. But there is one thing, a thing that always exists because if that thing doesn't exist, life doesn't exist too.
Do you know what that thing is? The answer is plain is simple...
Hope.
Life is always, always hope. Without hope, there is no life. Hope. That's the keyword. No matter how bad your life is, if you have hope, it means there is still life. A life that can be good.
Do not forget, hope is the keyword to move on and be strong.
Life is hope. So don't give up on hope, cause if you do, it means you give up on life.
Okay gotta say this: I am proud of this chapter, I wrote this in two days and I didn't plan the events or Jack's past, except the concept of his father and bullies.
I have a question that I am really eager to find the answer. Whose past do you find harder/worse? Jack or Elsa's? Please write your answer and don't forget to review! Love you all! By the way, I know that this chapter is sad and depressing, as an apology I will do my best to make the next chapter funnier and happier. Have a nice day!