Find
Things are better left if they are hidden rather than when they are reveal. If only that could continue for me I would be in a peaceful oblivion forever dreaming about what I didn't do.
Five Days Ago
In Bright's room, One was stood in in front of the door for a long time. In his hand was a white, dirt-covered book and a flower called heliotrope. One found the book beneath the growing heliotrope near the root of the lime tree. In front of the cover, it read For Shou to know.
One was thinking of reasons why Bright would hide this book and what she would say in the book. He slowly set himself down on the floor and carefully open to the first page. One began reading Bright's words.
Shou, how are you? You're still using your "sense of self?" I hope so. It will mean that you'll be able to take the feeling of shock. Shock: a type of feeling that you would have when something surprising or sad happen. You might be angry, sad, or loss later on but I will continue to tell you the truth no matter how painful it might be.
It took awhile for me to find what I need to tell you since they hid them well. The sanctuary and Saisei has worked together in exchanging life. The sanctuary choose certain people to bring to life once again for their home to survive. If there were anyone who has more knowledge than another, Saisei will bring that person to them and let those chosen people learn more of life.
Even though they work together, these two homes dislike each other and would sometime would hurt each other. The way they hurt themselves and exchange life is sad, Shou. Those who came back would once again go back to death. Death: it is a scary thing because if anything bad happen to you, you'll go to sleep and never wake up again.
One thought of himself and everyone from both the sanctuary and Saisei. What Bright has written was an information that One could not understand nor could Bright herself because the idea of life and death are impossible to grasp by anyone, even the leaders who created the system of bring back the dead.
U*U*U
Four Days Ago
…...you are.
There were records written down when something different happen. 111111 came to Saisei because of his organization, not his knowledge. I don't know why they change this but they chose 111111 and he came to Saisei. They chose his name as Ren. Ren is 111111 and 111111 is Ren. That is an undeniable information.
When you began dreaming, I was worried and wondering how you knew some of the knowledge when I didn't tell you. The moment you mentioned Cha, I knew that name because she was once a part of Lady's soldier. She is now gone. At times, you yell out, crying for forgiveness whenever you slept that I wanted to find out what was hurting you. I'm sorry for doing this to you. But what you did, what Ren did was truly unforgiving. Unforgiving: it does not matter how much you apologize, it does not matter what you do because it can't change what you did to your most precious friends.
His hand shook the moment he read her words. One couldn't process what Bright was saying, no...One didn't want to process what Bright was saying. His heart beat fast and hard against his chest. His left eye, that always hurt everytime something emotional happen, burns and tears began overflowing for almost no reason.
THUMP
Bright's book was now on the floor, lying there innocently as if it hold nothing. What One was holding, gripping onto was his head. Denial was coming forward. Ren and he cannot be the same person. They are different. He thought this over and over and over.
Ren was someone who didn't allow his feeling to come and followed what his Fathers and his Holy Mother said. He stayed at Saisei to cease its existence and go back to being organize. Ren chose the sanctuary.
One was someone who learn and slowing allow his feeling to come but he continued to stay at both places; the sanctuary and Saisei. He know what he is doing. He does not know what he is doing. Who should he choose?
He doesn't know. Realizing this, 111111's pain stopped suddenly like the tick-tock sound of a clock frozen in time. He remembered the small female's words. Isn't it amusing how we could change our name that easily, 111111, One, ...Ren? Who is he to himself?
With that thought in mind, he fell into the state of unconsciousness and with the gate opened, flood of memories burst through.
U~U~U
Two Days Ago
"If only..." 111111 muttered.
There were so many 'if only.' Too many for the want in changing the past but it will never be possible since what has happen, has been done and will stay forever in the past. He laid on the floor in daze; thinking about something, thinking about nothing, thinking of how, why, who. His eyes traveled to the light-colour purple flower.
The flower wasn't fully grown, but yet it was nice with its nice scent. Why did Bright give this to him; the flower, the book, the past? 111111 would have preferred it if she didn't say anything and he would have even more if he hadn't found the growing flower and the book. He thought back to his time with her. Shou...together...eternally...love...truth
He gripped his hand with frustration, with anger, with sadness. With no answer and no voice to tell him anything, 1111111, like a dead man, reached for the white book and continued reading because that was the only way he could hear the answer from Bright.
U*U*U
1 Days Ago
I was scared and still am, but I wanted to help. You need me to tell you something and I did so for you. We have different things and ideas of what we want to protect. What I have done is to protect the ones I love and the place they love. I didn't choose the sanctuary. I didn't choose your parents. I didn't choose Saisei. I didn't choose Lady or Na. I just choose the person I love and my friend.
I am probably being mean for doing this but I hope you will be happy. This book, this purple flower called heliotrope, this lime tree, this room; I'll give them to you and let you do what you prefer. You can destroy them if you'd like because I understand.
I left you alone the moment I died. It was mean but even if the sanctuary or Saisei knew what I did, I didn't care. My time with you was something precious to me. Each day, each time with you, I see something different from you and I became glad to be the person who see it. But when I thought of making you confused from you difference, I worry. Know this, no matter who you are, I will always love the person you are.
Remember my condition: #0: No matter what has happen to me, live and do what you believe in. Don't be angry with yourself and do what you believe in believe in because I will always be with you even when I go back to Death. What you do, I hope it will be for yourself and your happiness.
Plip...Plip
He was crying. His tears well up in his eyes like an uncontrollable storm. His tears fell down to a blank page like raindrops knowing where it'll go. His tears spread itself like rain touching every corner of the world.
U~U~U
A/N: This chapter was really evasive since I tried to publish it two chapters ago but it just doesn't fit as the story progress since factors kept on adding themselves so it took awhile. This chapter is a truth chapter...kinda. Shou finally remember his past and start to question himself.
Heliotrope is a purple flower with dark green leaves. I kinda like it the moment I found out about it. Its sweet-smelling and like the sunflower, 'follow' the sun. In its language, heliotrope mean devotion and eternal love.
Enjoy and Have Fun^^