Chapter 21:
Hogan was confused and shocked by what LeBeau had just said. He looked at his friend in pain. He was hurt to see LeBeau suffering from such intense grief and guilt. He wanted to help him, but first he needed to know more on what the little man was saying.
"LeBeau...what about the night Claude died? What happened that night that's making you feel like this?" Hogan asked.
LeBeau did not want to answer. It made him sick to his stomach every time he thought about it. The things that night brought to all of them. The sadness, the grief, what happened that went all wrong, the things that were said. He sighed shaky and continued.
"We got back here to the tunnels, Colonel...after the explosion gone wrong." LeBeau started.
Hogan sat down on his desk chair and gave the Frenchman his full and undivided attention.
"I'm listening. Go on," He said kindly.
"We were...talking about what happened...the people that died in result."
"I know," Hogan said, sighing heavily. His heart still pained him whenever he remembered the explosion that night.
They had been ordered to blow up a bridge, which seemed fairly easy. They had done quite a few of these missions before and knew very well how to execute them. An underground member named Claude was assigned to help the team complete the mission. When they got there, a German guard was on the bridge making sure there were no invasions or people sneaking out at night. After Carter set up the explosives, Claude had noticed a woman, who turned out to be the guard's wife and expecting their first child, was walking towards him with what apparently was his dinner. Claude made a run to try and help the two of them, but it was too late when the bridge exploded into an oblivion, killing all alive. It had left the American officer devastated and full of guilt and pain that he had been responsible for the lives that were killed that night. It had been the other factor that had caused Hogan to go mad and be sent to London in the first place. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Dr. Andrews had told him to remember every time that night came to mind, for him to remember that it was nothing more than a horrible accident and think of all the missions that had been successfully done due to his work. The missions that would have never been possible to execute had it not been for him. "Go on, LeBeau."
As much as the French corporal did not want to, he did.
"Colonel...it's when we started arguing that it happened."
Hogan nodded, indicating he was still listening.
"What happened when we were arguing, LeBeau?" He asked softly.
The little Frenchman went silent for a moment. He clenched his eyes shut to not let anymore tears fall down his face, but it was ineffective. He sniffled and opened his eyes. He started weeping again softly.
Hogan looked at him with kind eyes.
"LeBeau, it's alright. Everything's alright. I'm fine, I'm healthy again. Everyone's alright." He reassured his little friend. "You can tell me what happened."
LeBeau wept for a few seconds before answering.
"I don't deserve a commanding officer as nice as you, Colonel." He bawled.
Hogan gave a friendly smile.
"I couldn't ask for a better man to have under my command. I wouldn't trade you for anybody in the world," The American said kindly.
LeBeau sniffled, nodded, then went back to what he was saying.
"Colonel...I...called you a murderer," he said, breaking down.
Hogan's mouth dropped slightly, as he now realized what LeBeau was talking about. The poor man felt that for his behavior due to grief and the names he had called him had been the reason that lead to his sickness.
"So that's why you're acting like my servant," the colonel said, having an epiphany.
LeBeau nodded, wiping a few tears away.
"Oui, Colonel." He whimpered.
Hogan smiled, got to his feet, and walked over to LeBeau. He put a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked at him kindly.
"LeBeau, now listen to me. You did not cause me to become sick. Not you, Kinch, Carter, Newkirk, not anybody. Not even Hochstetter." The American began.
"But I called you a murderer, Colonel!"
"And I know you were hurting and grieving when you said those names to me. Sure, they hurt; I'm not denying that, but they didn't cause me to go mad, LeBeau. You did not make me sick. It was my own fault. I should have told you guys how I was feeling the moment I realized what was going on."
"But...Colonel," Hogan cut him off.
"I know you feel that way. I know that you're hurting and feeling incredible guilt right now. Believe me; I've been there before. I learned something in London, though."
"What was that?"
"I learned that we all make mistakes. We'll all have those times where we feel incredibly sad or angry for whatever reason, and we'll torture ourselves with guilt, sadness, and remorse trying to find someone to blame for what happened. We have to realize that it was no one's fault for what happened in those tragedies and losses. We have to remember, though, that it wasn't our faults and remember all the good things we've done in life. Stuff that would not have been possible without us. I could have never cooked such meals for Klink and Burkhalter whenever we have to deal with them involving an assignment."
LeBeau gave a small smile.
"You think so, Colonel?" He asked softly.
"I know so." Hogan smiled, then patted his shoulder. "You're alright, LeBeau. You're the best little Frenchman I could ever know."
LeBeau smiled, then hugged Hogan.
"Thank you, Colonel. I feel better now," he said.
"Good," Hogan said with a warm smile.
They stood there in silence for a moment, before LeBeau spoke.
"Can I still finish your sweater, mon Colonel? It would be a waste of yarn at this rate."
The colonel chuckled.
"Sure, LeBeau; you can finish my sweater. It'll do some good, when winter comes around again."
The little man smiled and nodded, when Kinch, Newkirk, and Carter came in.
"How is he, Colonel?" Kinch asked concerned.
"Don't worry. LeBeau's gonna be just fine. We had a nice long chat." Hogan answered, putting his hand back on the Frenchman's shoulder.
"What was it, Colonel...if you don't mind me asking, that is," Carter said.
"That will be something that will stay between just LeBeau and I." Hogan answered.
LeBeau smiled, knowing his commanding officer would keep what had been exchanged privately. One of the many things he loved about the man: he always knew he could trust him.
"Well, we're just glad things got straightened out, is all," Kinch said.
Hogan nodded and turned to Newkirk.
"How's your arm there, Newkirk?" He asked curiously.
"Bloody marvelous," The Englishman grumbled.
"On the bright side, Wilson says you only have to wear that sling for one more week, and you can start moving your arm again."
"That doesn't change the fact I gotta still wear this ruddy cast for another two, Gov'nor."
"Oh, two weeks isn't so bad."
"Hey, look at it this way, Newkirk. After three more weeks, we can start practicing for the championship volleyball game," Carter said smiling.
Newkirk smirked.
"Yeah...let's just hope I haven't forgot how to serve, mate."
The five of them were laughing for a minute, before LeBeau realized they still had stuff to do before they could go back to living their lives the way it had been before.
"Wait a minute, guys. We still have Major Hochstetter to deal with. We have to convince him the Colonel's dead."
Carter, Kinch, and Newkirk moaned. They had hoped that would not be a problem by now.
"Yeah, I guess you're right, Louis," Kinch said, crossing his arms.
"I wish we could just skip the whole thing and start trying to think of a way to get the Gov'nor back into camp." Newkirk groaned.
Something clicked in the radioman's mind, just then. The light bulb had turned on, and it was all thanks to the English corporal.
"Newkirk! You're a genius!" Kinch cried.
"What did I do, mate?" He asked, confused.
"That's how we'll get the Colonel back into camp!"
"You lost me, mon ami," LeBeau said, trying to catch onto the dark sergeant.
"Me too," Hogan said, wrapping his arms around himself.
"We're gonna get rid of Hochstetter," Kinch said.
LeBeau's face brightened up, and he started getting jumpy and full of excitement. They were going to use his plan for once in his life.
"Kinch, I got the perfect thing to do so! André, I'll need one of your bombs!" LeBeau cried, with glee.
Kinch and Hogan glared at the Frenchman.
"Not that way, LeBeau." Hogan warned.
LeBeau sighed and hung his head.
"Well, it was fun while it lasted." He mumbled.
"What's the idea, Kinch?" Newkirk asked.
"Colonel, how many underground members do you think would be necessary to dress up as Gestapo officers and come into camp to bring someone in?" Kinch asked.
"Depends on the person. Why?" Hogan asked.
"We're gonna have them drive you back into camp and explain that you were treated by a doctor for the last six months who found you and diagnosed you from suffering from a severe illness that was making you have all the hallucinations and delusions you were suffering from."
"Mate, it's brilliant!" Newkirk cried.
"I should've thought of it myself!" LeBeau exclaimed.
"Oh boy, that's a good idea right there, Kinch!" Carter cheered.
The dark sergeant smiled and turned to Hogan.
"What do you think, Colonel?" He asked.
Hogan nodded.
"It's a good idea, Kinch...but I'm going to need Wilson's help with it."
"What for, Colonel?" LeBeau asked.
"I'm gonna make myself sick." Hogan replied.
"WHAT?!" The four of them cried.
"Don't worry; I'll stop, when Wilson tells me it's enough," Hogan said, holding up a hand.
"But Colonel, why?" Carter asked.
"If Hochstetter calls in for a doctor to examine me, he'll be able to tell that I did not suffer from any recent ailment that was physical. I'm gonna have Wilson monitor me, while I make myself dehydrated. We can have the guys we get as Gestapo officers and a doctor to say I had suffered from severe dehydration that caused me to see and believe things that weren't real." Hogan answered.
"Colonel, I can't lose you again! I'll go crazy!" LeBeau begged.
"I'm with Louis on this one, Gov'nor. I can't risk losing you forever this time." Newkirk added.
"I'm going to be fine, guys. I promise." Hogan reassured them.
The four saw something in their commanding officer's eyes. He was telling the truth and knew that he would be alright with doing it. They all sighed and nodded.
"Alright, Colonel...we'll let you go through with it," Kinch said sadly.
Hogan nodded.
"Kinch, get on the radio with Barbara. Tell her to recruit four guys Klink, Burkhalter, and Hochstetter have never met before. Three of them will be Gestapo and the other will be an old German doctor." The colonel ordered.
The sergeant smiled.
"Yes, Colonel," he said, with a slight hint of excitement, and hurried to the radio room.
The American officer turned to Newkirk and LeBeau smiling.
"Newkirk, LeBeau, I need three Gestapo uniforms ready. Make one a major and two captains," Hogan said, grinning.
"Yes, Sir," Newkirk said.
"I will do it with honor, Colonel," LeBeau said, standing straight.
The two of them hurried off to the sewing room, when LeBeau turned off in the direction the radio room was in.
"Hey, Kinch; tell Barbara I say 'hello'," he said, eager with excitement.
Newkirk grabbed LeBeau by his shirt collar with his good hand and dragged him off to where they needed to be.
With everyone now gone, it left Carter and Hogan alone in the colonel's temporary room.
"There's nowhere for me to help in this mission, I guess," the young man said sadly. He wanted to help get Hogan back into camp as much as the rest of them did.
The American officer smiled and patted his back.
"Oh, don't worry; I got a special job for you, Carter," Hogan said, with a mischievous grin.
Carter looked up at Hogan and smiled. He began telling the young sergeant what his assignment would be.