Rating/Warning(s)/Note(s): T, Parkward
Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.
Prompt: Dressing room

No sooner had Edward and I returned to making a mess of the papers on the floor than Alice burst into the room. His hand had been rising up my torso, teasing underneath my breast and taking my breath away with anticipation when the door slammed open against the wall accompanied with her shouting "Let's go shopping for your trip!"

And she wondered why I was grumpy, standing in this dressing room as she flung outfit after outfit over the wall. I probably would have been less upset if Edward hadn't agreed that her abducting me had been a good idea; I hadn't missed how he had adjusted his pants after he gave me a quick peck goodbye and pushed me out the door after her. All my protests that we were broke fell on deaf ears.

"Tell me again why we're here when I don't have any money to buy anything?" I whined. It was possible I was hungry as well, it seemed we had been here for hours.

"Finding something for your trip," she said, hands on hips and a defiant glare in her eyes. "If you're going to be married to a doctor you need to look the part."

"I'm going to visit my mother, Alice, not the president," I retorted, my hands moving to my hips, matching her glare for glare. "She knows what I look like, and if you recall, I can't afford it."

The glare was replaced with a gleam. "That's where you're wrong. I have coupons. Now try this on." She grabbed an outfit that was adorable from the hanger and thrust it at me. It really would be nice in the Phoenix heat, but one look at the price tag had me shaking my head.

"I'll try it on, but I won't be buying it," I said, shooing her from the room. She said something else, but I didn't listen. Her voice had simply been way too happy.

It was a white linen dress, modest with cap sleeves, yet still somehow quite sexy. Even being white, the weave was thick enough to hide my undergarments. As the skirt swayed around my calves I couldn't help but smile. My mother would love this dress, and the buttons down the front might make things easier for Edward, if he ever got that far.

"Perfect," Alice said from beside me, making me jump.

"How do you do that? Did the door even open or are you small enough to just crawl underneath?"

"Does Edward know what a grouch you are when you don't get your way?" she quipped back, walking around me to take in every angle. At my arched eyebrow she just shook her head and started gathering clothes off of the hanger on the door, leaving very little behind. "Get changed and throw that over to me," she demanded as she threw the door wide and stalked out.

Hoping we were finally done I did as I was told. If memory served correctly, there was a food court nearby. Edward was working this evening, I had been surprised to find that even when running a private practice that closed at a reasonable time either he or Tanya stayed late just in case they were needed in an emergency. As a result I was on my own for dinner, and right now a slice of greasy pizza sounded really good.

By the time I made it back into the main store the cashier was halfway through ringing up the pile of clothes Alice had picked out for me. "Finally," Alice huffed next to me, coming out of nowhere again and yanking the dress from my grip. "I swear, how anyone can be so against shopping is beyond me."

In reply I just opened my wallet and handed her a ten dollar bill. "That's all I have, so unless you have a fairy godmother stashed somewhere, we need to put all of that back," I told her, waving at the pile.

"Oh, ye of little faith," she said, rolling her eyes and handing coupons that she had extracted from her purse to the cashier. I watched in amazement as the total, which had been in the hundreds, shrunk down lower and lower as each piece of paper was scanned. My jaw hit the floor when the total came to under four dollars. "Oh, goody," Alice said sarcastically, "you can afford to buy me a snack!"

"How?" was all I could get out as I watched the smiling saleswoman begin to load up a very large bag.

"I told you I had coupons, Bella. Maybe next time you'll listen to me." She took one bag from the saleswoman and handed it to me as another was being filled. "Anyway, what should we go eat?"

"I don't suppose you have a coupon for pizza in there, do you?" I asked hopefully, then started to giggle as she opened her purse and started to look. I'd always wondered why she needed one so large, now I knew. "Do you have a filing cabinet of coupons in there or something?" I teased, earning her tongue stuck out at me.

"If you continue to be mean then I won't share what I know," she said in a sing-song voice, still digging.

My eyes narrowed in speculation. "You're making it up. There's nothing new to tell."

"Oh, okay," she said, finally pulling out a piece of paper with a heart "viola!" and handing it to me. It was a buy one get one free coupon for pizza. My mouth was watering already. Grabbing the other bag and thanking the saleswoman she led the way to the food court, humming to herself merrily and not saying anything.

After a few minutes I broke. "Okay, Alice, what do you know?"

"Lots of things, like did you know that pigs orgasm for up to thirty minutes? In my next life, I wanna be a pig." She just smiled and kept walking.

"Ew, Alice, how do you even know that?" I cringed, then felt a surge of jealousy for the pig.

She shrugged, "Read it somewhere."

We walked for a few more steps as I contemplated what that would be like before remembering she was supposed to tell me something else. "Alice, that's not what you were referring to earlier."

Winking at me she giggled, "I know, but I don't need to tell you now."

"Why not?" I asked, frustrated. She just laughed again and pointed. Leaning against the wall next to the pizza place, arms and ankles crossed as he surveyed the crowd, was my Edward. I might have given an excited squeak as I took off running, dropping my bag at Alice's feet. He must have heard me, along with the rest of the food court, because he looked my way, shrugged off the wall he was leaning against and put out his arms in time to catch me as I jumped into them.

Laughing he spun me around. "Did you miss me?"

"Is it obvious?" I said with a smile, leaning in to kiss him.

"Remind me to send you shopping with my sister more often," was the last thing he said as his lips met mine and clapping began in the food court. We seemed to be setting a trend.

I read that somewhere about pigs. In my next life, I wanna be a pig, or at least have thirty minute orgasms.

This is dedicated to all you amazing women out there who weild coupons like nobody's business. I swear, I hear your stories, I've tried to understand how you accomplish this feat, but still can't figure out how you do it.