"I ah..." Jane wasn't sure whether to bother the other woman with the details. She would only blame her for it anyways.
"Jane please. You're hurt, talk to me." Maura said, taking Jane gently by the arm and pulling her to a seat at the kitchen counter.
"Maura, it's not important."
"It is Jane. I know you're hurting and I'm sorry I've not been here like a good friend should."
"Like a good friend shou...Maura I pointed a gun at you! I hurt you and you're the one apologising?" Jane raised her voice. "How do you not even hate me?"
"You have PTSD, Jane. Anyone would after what you've been through."
"Maura, why do you keep coming back?" Jane shook her head, turning from the doctor.
"Because it's what you do for someone you..." Maura paused, wringing her hands nervously.
"For someone you what?" Jane said whipping around, the butterflies in her stomach all of a sudden began flapping around feverishly.
"For someone you care about." Maura seemed to correct herself. Jane nodded and turned away again.
"I just got drunk and freaked out. I didn't mean to do this to myself, if that's what you're worried about." Jane explained after a moments silence.
"It had crossed my mind." Maura replied, leaning in towards the detective and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. The heat in the touch made Jane jump ever so slightly in her seat but Maura didn't seem to notice. Jane sighed and pulled off the scarf, revealing the dark purple bruises that covered her neck. Maura gasped slightly and took moved her hands to Jane's damaged throat.
"What happened, Jane?" Maura gasped softly.
"Baker. I disturbed him during his sleep and he flipped out. Much the same as what I've done to you a few times."
"No, Jane. It's never been like this." The doctor replied.
"It's no different. We never meant it, but it still happened. We still let it happen."
"So you think pushing everyone away will make it better?" Maura asked.
"If it means I don't hurt you, then yes." Jane said flatly, her face in her hands as she leant against the benchtop. Maura sighed and moved towards the window sill, staring out into the empty suburban street.
"I'm not going to lie, Jane. I'm still scared. Not of you, but of what you're capable of when you're like this."
"And I truly don't blame you. Any person in their right mind would have left by now." Jane said flatly, turning in her chair towards Maura. Maura shrugged and picked at a loose board on the windowsill nervously.
"Jane, I'm not going anywhere." Maura took a deep breath in and continued. "Because I lo..." Maura stopped suddenly as she accidentally pulled the loose wooden panel up from the windowsill, revealing a file in a small hollowed out area. "Jane, I think I found what you're looking for."
Jane leapt up from her seat and rushed towards a stunned Maura who now held a thick file in her hands.
"You did it!" Jane yelped excitedly, locking eyes with the doctor. Jane took in the beauty of the brown eyes before her as the stare lingered between the two. Jane suddenly realised the close proximity of the other woman and felt the pit of her stomach flip violently again. A feeling she continued to ignore stubbornly when around the doctor. Perhaps she was finally ready to come to terms with this unease she felt whenever she was close with Maura - but that would also mean facing everything else that was currently clouding her mind. The heat between them and the feeling in her stomach (and lower regions) made Jane wish she could deal with this one thing, but she knew once the floodgates opened that it would all be unstoppable.
"Maur, I…"
"I know, Jane. It's okay." Maura said, taking the detectives hand.
"I'm sorry. I just need time." Jane said, looking down at the hand in hers. Maura nodded and drew tiny circles on the back of Jane's hand slowly. "There's just so much stuff in my head, and I can't get it out." Jane choked. Maura pulled the detective in to a tight hug as Jane began to cry suddenly. It was a sight Maura rarely saw but realised that it needed to happen otherwise Jane would probably explode.
After a short while, Jane's sobs subsided. Maura pushed the hair from her friend's face, finding the detective beautiful despite her blotchy red eyes. "It's going to be okay."
Jane stepped away, sniffed loudly, and wiped her eyes. "Ha. Yeah." She almost laughed. "God I'm a mess, Maur." She admitted.
"Just a little bit. But you're my mess." Maura replied, a small smile graced her lips. Jane returned the smile. "Anyways, shall we?" Jane said, straightening her back and holding her hand out to take the files from Maura. They moved from the house towards Jane's cruiser before the detective saw a figure moving in her peripheral. Her neck bristled as she felt something was wrong. Then she saw the rifle.
"Maura get down!" Jane screamed, crash tackling the other woman down behind her car as shots rang out. Glass shattered around them as they hit the ground hard. Jane pulled her gun and immediately returned fire blindly over the top of bonnet, whilst still kneeling to avoid the onslaught of bullets still hailing towards them.
"I need you to get on my radio and call for backup." Jane shouted over the din to her partner. Maura didn't reply. "Maur?" Jane said, looking down at the motionless doctor. "Oh God no. Maura!" She screamed, seeing the blood pouring from a wound on her stomach. Jane emptied her magazine into the fence the gunman was taking cover behind, reloaded, and then moved to her friend's side. Maura's eyes fluttered as she drifted in and out of consciousness. Jane applied pressure to Maura's wound with one hand whilst moving the car mirror to try and keep and eye on where their attacker was. Maura groaned slightly, her pale face covered in sweat. "Come on, Maur. Stay with me."
The detective took one of Maura's hands and placed it on her wound, before opening the car door and using the radio.
"This is Detective Jane Rizzoli, I'm under heavy fire from a single gunman. Requesting immediate backup and medical attention." After giving them their location, Jane then returned to Maura's side, holding pressure to her wound and only removing it to return fire. She did this in small bouts to conserve ammunition but to also keep the gunman pinned down. Time seemed to drag on forever as they continued the dance of taking and returning fire.
The sound of sirens in the distance were drowned out by the explosion of more bullets pelting the side of the car.