We're getting close to the end, y'all! Two more chapters after this and then the epi. They're already all done and at the beta, so as I get them back, they'll be posted.

Thanks to mybrandofheroin for being my beta and the one who keeps me sane. Thanks also to Hopeful Wager for being an awesome validation beta. And thanks to ysar for just being all around awesome.

Thanks for sticking with me on this amazing ride. You all mean so much to me.

Bella

Coming back home to Forks was surreal, to say the least. It seemed the closer I got, the worse I felt. I could feel the hysteria bubbling up, but so far I had managed to keep it inside. Embry had come to pick us up at the airport in Port Angeles, and I had spent the entire trip half-listening to the two of them carrying on about some basketball team. I watched as the trees passed through the passenger side window and felt Jake's hand touch my thigh. I turned to him and forced a half-smile. He looked concerned, but he had told Embry that he didn't want to talk about what had happened in Brazil until he dropped me off, because he was afraid it would upset me. I was relieved in a way-I didn't know if I could go through the events again, detail by agonizing detail.

We turned onto my road and pulled up to my house. I mumbled a goodbye to Embry and went to the trunk to grab my suitcases.

"Let me get these," he said quietly. "I'll walk you inside." I nodded mutely and led the way up the stairs, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

"You can just leave them here," I whispered. "I have to do laundry anyway." He looked like he wanted to argue, but instead did as I asked.

"I need to go home and talk to everyone about...what happened. Are you going to be okay here?"

"Of course I will. You go. Talk to them. I'll be all right." He stared at me for a moment before leaning down to kiss me softly on the cheek.

"I love you, Bells. I'll be back as soon as possible." With that, he strode out the door, shutting it behind him and leaving me alone. I sighed and started up the stairs to the bathroom, wanting to shower and get all the grime from being in an airplane off of me.

After starting the shower and peeling off my clothes, I stood under the spray of water, letting the beads trickle down the sides of my face as I tried not to think about anything at all. I counted the tiles around me as I shampooed my hair. I sang "Living on a Prayer" as loud as I could while rinsing off and I drew smiley faces on the mirror as I dried myself. Gazing at the grief-stricken expression on my face in the mirror, I knew that no amount of false cheerful singing or smiley faces was going to help me.

I threw on the tank top and pajama pants that were hanging on the back of the door and started towel-drying my hair as I walked into my bedroom. Everything was exactly where it had been the day Alice came and told me to pack my bags. My bed was still unmade, a shirt that Alice had rolled her eyes at was still lying over the back of my desk chair, and the book that had fallen from my hands when Jacob had walked into my backyard was still on the floor.

I couldn't do this. I needed to see if they were still here, I needed to apologize for what happened. As I thundered down the stairs, I briefly considered calling Jacob to tell him where I was going, but decided it was better not to. He'd want to come with me, and this was something that I needed to do alone.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I drove, going over things that I could say to the Cullens to help them with their pain. I had to let them know I didn't ask Edward to do this, that I did love him, but that I just happened to love someone else more.

The house seemed deserted when I arrived. I turned off the car, listening to the clicks of the engine as it began to cool. What was I doing there? I covered my face with my hands. It could only hurt them more, seeing me here instead of their son. I knew I should go. As I moved my hands from my face to start the car, a light tap sounded at the window next to me.

I jumped and whipped my head over to see what was there. I exhaled deeply when I saw Carlisle on the other side of the glass. He opened the door for me, and as I slid out of the seat, he enveloped me into a hug.

This only brought on more tears. I had come to comfort him and his family, and here he was, comforting me.

"Come inside, Bella," he quietly urged before leading me up the stairs and into the house. "Let's take you into my office. That cast has seen better days and you've still got a few weeks left before your arm will be healed. Let's put a new one on and I'll explain some things to you."

I nodded as I wiped the tears from my face and followed his lead into his office. My heart was saddened at the sight of all the moving boxes half-filled with Carlisle's books. He directed me to sit in one of the easy chairs and I waited patiently for him to gather his things. He knelt in front of me with a small saw.

"This won't hurt; however, it will feel very warm against your skin. Try not to move," he said as he turned the small handsaw on and started to take off my cast. Once finished, he took off all the wrappings and began to start my new one.

"Bella, Esme and I don't blame you in the slightest for what transpired in Brazil. It is devastating to our entire family; however, it seems to have hit Alice the hardest." His voice was reassuring as he casted my arm. "Edward was her rock, the person who made her feel as if she was completely normal. He is more than her brother; he is her very best friend, the other piece of her brain. She's mourning the loss of him right now and doesn't know how to deal with it in the correct way, so she's letting her anger out through you." He used a pair of scissors to cut through the fiberglass and secured it to my arm, running his hands over the cast to make sure it was correct.

"What she's doing isn't right, but it's the only way she can deal with it. She'll come around and feel absolutely awful, and you can decide then whether you can forgive her or not. But know that Edward knew exactly what he was doing. He was doing this as a final gift to you, and as a gift to himself as well. Being away from three very happy and in love couples makes it a little easier for him to handle not having you. I understand where he's coming from, Bella. So don't blame yourself, there's no point." He stroked my cheek and then led the way back to the living room.

"I can't help it," I whispered.

"Edward would do anything for you, just as I would do anything for Esme. If being with someone else makes you happy, then that's what he wants. Going to the Volturi will be an eye-opening experience for Edward, in many ways. I don't think all of them will be bad."

"But they're...they're..." I couldn't think of how to describe the evil that was the Volturi.

"Bella, you seem to think that the Volturi are unscrupulous . That isn't exactly the case. They're there to maintain order in our world, much like the President of the United States. Someone has to do it, and not all vampires are as civilized and discreet as we are."

"But they wanted him to..."

Carlisle interrupted me. "Yes, they want him to feed like a normal vampire. Aro hopes that feeding on humans will enhance Edward's power and bring out more gifts. Edward is curious enough to want to find out, too."

"So, you're still leaving?" I asked, unsure of how I felt about this.

"Yes, we're still leaving. Rosalie and Emmett left yesterday. They were headed to Russia, I think. Alice and Jasper didn't come back, but Jasper called me to say they were heading to see Peter and Charlotte. They all need time to grieve on their own, but they'll be back to us in time. Esme left a couple of hours ago to work on the renovations for our new home just outside of Portland. We'll be far enough away that the wolves can start aging again, but close enough that we can be here if you should ever need us. And Bella, you need to remember that we need you just as much as you need us, if not more." He kissed my forehead and we started to walk outside toward my truck.

"I bought you this," he said, handing me a box. I opened it to find a new phone inside. Before I could protest, he added, "I know you'll try to give it back, but it's so you can contact us whenever you need us. You're on our family plan, and all of our phone numbers are plugged in there, including Edward's... just in case. I doubt you've seen the last of him. He'll want to see how his sacrifice is doing." He kissed my forehead and opened the door to my truck before helping me to sit inside.

"I want you to know that I couldn't love you more than if you were my true daughter, Bella. Be safe. Let Jake love you. Love him. Love life, and become someone. We'll always be here for you." He closed my door and I started the truck and pulled away, watching his reflection in my rearview mirror as I drove off.

I drove aimlessly along the streets of Forks, not wanting to go home but having nowhere elseto go. I considered going to the beach, but I really didn't want to go to La Push and face Jacob. He'd know that I had been crying and I was sure he'd been through enough heartache without me adding to it.

Finally, after an hour I decided that with gas prices the way they were, I couldn't afford to keep driving around. I slammed the door to the truck before sluggishly walking up the stairs to the house. I waved to our neighbor as I let myself inside. I grabbed a glass of milk and some cookies, then went upstairs to my room.

I knew as soon as I opened the door that someone had been in there, with hardly a look around. I could smell a difference, and the window was open. Nervously, I lifted my eyes and looked around. The glass of milk fell at my feet when I realized what was different in my bedroom.

I stepped forward, taking in the sight of pictures that I didn't even know existed. Photos from my birthday, pictures of Edward holding me close, of me playing chess with Jasper, of Esme holding me in her arms-all pictures from days I had spent at their house and they were all scattered around my room, some in frames and others tacked to my walls.

Who had done this? Had Edward come back and done this to torment me with my decision? No, it couldn't have been him. Turning to my bed, I noticed an envelope. I opened it and read the letter tucked inside. The freaking waterworks started again as I read the letter carefully a second time

Why? Why couldn't I just be left alone to deal with this in peace rather than have my decision thrown in my face? It wasn't as if I had a choice. My life was with Jacob now. With him was where I belonged.

A wave of emotions hit me like an out of control Mack truck. Hysterical sobs racked through my body and I cried harder than I ever had before. I raced out of my room, away from the pictures and the memories of the family that I would be missing. The woods brought comfort to me; they gave me a place to scream as loud as I needed to, they provided me rocks to throw when the aggression began to show. Finally, the tears returned and I curled up on the ground like I did when Edward left me the first time. Edward...

In the midst of my tears, I was suddenly aware that I wasn't alone. Feeling a bit afraid, I tried to look up, but couldn't see through my tears. I heard a sigh as I was lifted into strong, warm arms and carried into the house, up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Jake," I croaked out, still not able to see through the water that kept leaking out of my eyes.

"No," the voice said. "It's me, Seth." He set me on my bed and knelt down to help take my shoes off.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he pulled my sneaker off.

"I ran over here from the Rez after we had our meeting. I wanted to see how you were doing."

I sighed. "I'm not doing very well at all. Look around you, Seth. Look what she did." I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. The thought of sleep was inviting... If I slept I wouldn't have to deal with seeing Alice's reminders. I felt the weight of the mattress lift as he got up and heard him walking around the room.

"Who did this?" he asked.

"Alice," I replied, my eyelids becoming heavy. "I went to the Cullens' house, talked to Carlisle. They were here when I got home, along with a letter. It says that she hopes I realize everything I just gave up. It says that she couldn't tell me, that she had to show me. That I need to realize I was the reason Edward had to give this up, too." Tears started flowing over my cheeks again. "Seth, I never expected, never wanted Edward to make this decision. I'm not worth it."

"Oh, Bella," he chided, wrapping his arms around me. I began to sweat against him where his skin touched mine, but hugged him back as I sobbed against the hard muscles of his chest. He was silent for several minutes, long enough for me to fall into the dazed phase just before sleep.

His voice was quiet in the silence of the room. "Bella, while she may have meant to hurt you with these, it doesn't have to hurt. They're just pictures, after all."

I wanted to reply to him, to tell him that they weren't just pictures, but I couldn't. Blackness enveloped me before I could even formulate the words to thank him for finding me.

Chapter End Notes:

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