I was sitting in the uncomfortable office chair in front of the sturdy desk, anxiously twiddling my fingers while my father's gaze burned a hole through me. He was leaning back in his much larger chair, arms crossed over his chest. He ran the fingers of his left hand over his mouth while narrowing his eyes at me. He was lost deep in thought while Dante and Amar stood to the side watching this obvious display of power.
By dragging me here and then letting me wait he wanted to make it clear who was in charge and that I better comply with everything he may want me to.
After catching me fighting in the pit he had just turned around without a second glance, knowing I would not dare to defy an order he had given in front of half the faction. Even though he was my father and I more often than not got a strange satisfaction from challenging him, I wasn't suicidal enough to show him up with so many people around.
So here we were, all waiting in silence for our senior leader to pass the sentence to his own daughter once again. So far, he had stayed quiet, his gaze never leaving me as if he was contemplating something carefully, not even sparing Amar a glance as he shifted his weight and cleared his throat in preparation to say something.
My father had merely raised his hand, gesturing him to stay silent.
I knew exactly what he was doing, trying to unnerve me with his unyielding stare until he had me anxious enough to show that I was sorry for my actions and maybe even apologize. But since I am my father's daughter and have no sense self-preservation I silently screamed at myself to man up, stopped gnawing the inside of my cheek and raised my eyes, meeting his gaze head on.
I had expected him to glower at me, pulverizing me with his cold grey eyes but his expression was more contemplating, thoughtful although he narrowed his eyes at my silent challenge. Now I could see the suppressed anger bubbling to the surface.
I realized that right now there were two kinds of people in this room: The calm ones, that observed their surroundings, always composed and only using violence when it was necessary. And then there were the hot-blooded ones, always butting heads and using their fists instead of words, wreaking havoc when something wasn't going their way.
I didn't know which kind was more dangerous but if I had to guess I would tend more towards the quiet ones. After all my uncle is one of them and along with Amar I knew they could take me down in mere seconds despite my obvious danger issues.
The big problem with my father is, that he can be both. He can be calm and collected, freezing people with his icy glare but his temper can also explode in a nanosecond, nuking everything in its wake as he makes living in the compound hell for everyone that wronged him. I guess he had after all this time somehow managed to reign his anger in, something I had yet to learn, I realized as I watched how my father leaned forward, his face cold.
Knowing I had poked the bear, I prepared myself for the outburst of nuclear proportions but he merely raised one eyebrow at me, grabbing a pen.
"Fights in the pit are not tolerated under any circumstances, do you understand that?" Furrowing my brow, I slowly nodded, not wanting to egg him on any further. I could practically see the quiet rage simmering under the surface. "Good. But since you so obviously want to take that initiate on you will do it in the ring. Like it´s supposed to be." Turning towards Dante, my father´s order was clear. "Make it happen."
"Yes, Sir." Dante´s response was immediate and he tried to hide the little signs of unease on his face. I had no idea why though. It was obvious who would win.
Nodding his head at him he turned back towards me, more composed but still annoyed beyond compare. "Now get out before I change my mind and give you mess hall duty for a month. I have more important stuff to handle right now."
Picking up the strange undertone, I perked up, trying to get a look at the documents that littered the desk in front of him. But my father knew exactly what I was trying to do and scooped them together, laying them to the side where I couldn't get a look at them.
Something about his expression irked me the wrong way and I felt my stomach knot as all the possibilities shot through my head. If he didn't want me to see the report it was most likely about the factionless.
And my father having a stake of classified papers on his desk was never good.
Before I could decide if I should just ask him and pray that my newfound voice would get something out of him, my father took the reports, stacked them neatly once again and dismissed us without looking back up. Hesitantly I followed his order and got out of the chair but just as I crossed the threshold my father spoke up again.
"Dante. Stay."
Freezing on the spot, I went to turn around and see what he wanted from him but Amar was right behind me, shoving me gently out of the office with one hand on my lower back. He closed the door behind us, successfully looking my boyfriend with my homicidal father in one room.
"Don´t."
"But why is he asking him to stay?" I ask frantically, contemplating if I should go back in "And what the hell was on these reports?" I hissed quietly, running my hand through my tangled hair. Fed up with my messy braid I ripped the hairband out, taking quite a few of my hairs with it. The pain in my scalp only fueled my frustration and I angrily gathered them all up. Trying to put my unruly locks back into its confinement I wrapped the band around my braid for the third time when it ripped into two.
Gritting my teeth, I was sooo close to punching the wall but before I could move, my wrist was grabbed and Amar turned me towards him, holding me captive with his gaze.
"Calm down." His familiar voice was soothing, bringing me back to countless hours of meditation where I tried to keep the anger that now threatened to consume me under control. "Take a deep breath."
Inhaling the way he taught me, I tried to relax but the anxiousness curling inside me made it harder to get air into my lungs. "Just like that." When Amar was satisfied with my level of calmness he let go of me and gave a fatherly smile. "As to why your father asked Dante to stay your guess is as good as mine but I know a bit about the situation regarding the factionless."
I knew it.
"What happened?" I couldn't help but fiddle with my fingers, asking myself why I didn't hear anything of it.
"Well, for once there have been more overall sightings of them all over the city but they somehow always manage to avoid the patrols as if they knew when they were coming. Which is quite impossible since our numbers have been doubled after a food truck from amity has been attacked a week ago on their way to candor."
Slinging my arms around myself, I started gnawing my cheek again, knowing my level of suspiciousness has been reasonable. If the factionless has gotten as bold as to ambush in bright daylight while there were countless dauntless patrolling the most used routes their number must have increased drastically since the last big raid four years ago.
And if they managed to make my father nervous it was bad. Really bad.
"You didn't hear I from me." Amar threw me a meaningful glance, patting my back before he strolled down the hallway towards an older dauntless who had beckoned him over to engage him in a conversation. He was quite popular in the faction.
Sighing deeply, I leaned against the wall letting my head fall back after examining my bruised knuckles. This day was continuously getting worse.
"What do you mean you can´t tell me about it. As a leader, it is my duty to know!" The muffled voice of my father sounded through the door and I groaned, knowing exactly what he tried to get out of Dante.
The sim…
"As her father, you should foremost respect her privacy, Sir." Dante´s voice was quieter and more reserved but the underlining seriousness was still detectable.
"There is no such thing as privacy here!" My father´s voice boomed through the office, startling a young secretary who just walked by and was now hurrying away.
I should just do it like her and walk away. Dante telling my father about… that was nothing I wanted to witness.
Nothing I could endure.
"Then believe me when I say that you really don´t want to know."
Just walk away.
"Leave that up to me to decide. Now tell me. This is an order, soldier!" Father´s voice was forceful, the years of having people bow down to his every whim made it even harder for him if someone disobeyed. Insubordination was something he punished harshly to set an example in the faction that was strictly ruled by ranks – and ranks alone.
"You should ask Lexi about it, Sir." Dante countered quietly but his message was clear. "I have an obligation towards her and I don´t want to betray her trust in me. This is my duty as her instructor."
"Really." My father´s harsh, humorless chuckle resonated through the door. "And how is she supposed to answer me after I ask her?"
"Maybe she will surprise you." How he could stay that calm in there while I was out here with a closing up throat I had no idea but it almost made me miss the steps coming closer. "I´m sorry, Sir."
Dante´s muffled voice suddenly being right beside me, startled me out of my rigidity and my feet acted prior to my brain, taking me down the corridor before I was caught eavesdropping by either of them.
It wouldn't make the situation any better and the way I knew my father, Dante was now on his bad side.
Fuck!
Turning the corner, I brushed away the lone, traitorous tear that ran down my cheek, the only outward sign of the tightness in my chest and the hollowness in my guts that seemed to grow only stronger.
The only outlet to my frustrations would be a run through the city – and running I did.
.
.
.
Taking into account that I had that strange feeling of foreboding as soon as I stepped out the door, I knew I shouldn't have wandered so far into the city so late in the afternoon. But being the idiot I am I had been at least a good hour away from the nearest entrance of dauntless when it felt like the gates of hell had opened up the sky above me, drenching me to the bone in ice cold water while the wind did the rest to freeze me to the bone, making me wish I had just waited for Dante and never left the compound.
My father´s glare was nothing against this.
But since crying about how bad this was wouldn't help me in any way I gritted my teeth and made my way over the slippery roofs and kennels, almost losing my footing several times, saving myself from tumbling down in the last second.
Somehow, -and I have no idea how- I had made it back to the compound in one piece, even though I felt like a giant block of ice. The smartest thing to do would now have been to get out of my soaked clothes and take a shower. But my feet had a mind of their own, carrying me to the one person I wanted to see right now.
Dante opened the door after the first knock, all flustered as he pulled me into the flat and slammed the door shut before gripping my face in his hands. Noticing that I was completely drenched and shivering violently he pulled me into him, his tense body relaxing against mine.
"Christ, Lexi! You´re freezing!" His face contorted in worry as he wrapped his warm arms around me. This time around I embraced the male hands chasing away the cold because it was him.
"What the hell did you do?"
Placing my hands on the back of his neck, I pulled his face towards mine feeling slightly bad as Dante hunched his shoulders when my frozen fingers came into contact with his skin. "I´m sorry." Pressing my lips tightly to his I held him in place with one hand tangled in his hair. "I´m so sorry. For hurting you. So sorry." Only pulling back to mutter another apology that choked me up I pulled him back into me, noticing that even though Dante had his arms slung tightly around me he wasn't returning my kisses with the same feverish need that consumed me from the inside out.
No, this wasn't normal.
In fact, he pulled back after a few moments, only sighing deeply as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, entangling himself from my chokehold. "Lexi…" He started and I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. "You should really take a hot shower before you get sick. And after, we should talk."
Blinking rapidly, I took a step away from, hugging myself tightly as Dante watched me with pained eyes. Nodding with jerked motions, I forced my lips into a smile to suppress the quivering that started as soon as his words hit home.
He doesn't want me anymore.
"Of course you don´t… After seeing… that… I´m sorry, I shouldn´t have. It was stupid…" Moving towards the bathroom I avoided his eyes, only forcing another smile on my face.
"Lexi, you know that´s not…" Dante started, taking a few steps towards me but I whirled around, raising my hand while keeping my lips turned upwards started to physically hurt.
"NO!" My voice was louder and more forceful than I intended it to be, so I leveled myself as best as I could. "It´s okay, really. I… I understand. I wouldn't want to touch me either after finding out…" Clenching my eyes shut, I shook my head while walking backward, stumbling into the cabinet behind me. "Sorry."
Turning around, I fled into the bathroom ignoring Dante calling my name. Slamming the door shut, I pressed my hands into my eye sockets, muttering to myself.
Stupid, stupid, stupid…
Exhaling shakily, I finally started to peel the soaked clothing off me, letting the heavy fabric fall to the floor as I fought the tears from escaping. My fingers were numb and I fumbled with the button of my combat pants as suddenly the door flew open with a bang, making me jump and almost fall down as I tripped over my shirt.
Dante came storming inside, his face set in determination as he grabbed me by the waist and pushed me into the steaming shower and under the stream. "Dante, what…?"
Capturing my lips in a searing hot kiss, he swallowed my objections as he caught my wrists in one of his hands and pinned them to the wall above my head in one swift movement. Pressing the whole length of his body against mine, Dante grabbed my ass with his other hand, making me gasp in surprise as he squeezed tightly. Using the opportunity, he thrust his tongue between my lips, meeting mine in a dance that is as old as time.
Dante bit my lip not so gently as he pulled back to press open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck before coming back up to meet my hooded eyes. Holding his gaze my breathing was labored and I felt my core tighten with the way his bare chest grazed mine every time he inhaled. When he lost his shirt, I have no idea.
"Is this me not wanting you?"
Still holding my arms over my head, Dante flicked the button of my pants open and with ease he pulled them down along with my underwear, leaving me completely exposed in front of him. And for the first time, I felt self-conscious as his heated gaze raked over my nude body.
What was he thinking about everything that happened in the sim…?
Pulling me back under the stream, he let go of my wrists but before I could cover my modesty he laid them over his own shoulders. He only pulled away from me to rid himself of the remaining clothes he was wearing which he did in less than a second.
Caressing my cheek with the back of his hand and brushing a few tears away, Dante let his lips hover above mine, the ghost of his touch driving me insane.
I closed my eyes in bliss when he spoke again, the vibrations of his chest transferring into mine.
His voice was indefinitely softer than before as he lifted me by my thighs, lining up his shaft at my opening. "Is this me not wanting you?"
With that he slowly pushed upwards, letting me feel his complete length buried inside me as we once again became one. Dante let out a low moan as he bottomed out, while I was only able to tighten my grip in his hair, the feeling of being utterly filled and complete taking my breath away.
Sliding almost all the way out again, Dante pressed his mouth to mine softly. "Tell me…" Changing the angle in which he held me, he pulled me back down on him. "how could I not want you?"
"Dante…" My voice was a plea. For him to stop teasing me, to not leave me, to not stop loving me.
Not giving into my begging, he withdrew and I almost started crying as the feeling of complete and utter emptiness spread through my body. But I couldn´t do more than whimper since he had already set me down and whirled me around so that I was now pressed against the cold tiles that caused my buds to harden painfully after feeling the heat of his body that I now felt against my cold back.
A shiver went down my spine, hot water cascaded around us and the steam made me forget everything around me.
Everything except him.
Dante pulled my waist back towards him, kicking my feet wider apart and before I could truly comprehend what he had just done he was already sinking back inside me.
Our new position didn't allow me to do more than claw at the tiles and arch my back in delight as Dante rapidly thrust into me, each time hitting my most sensitive spot, letting my eyes roll back in pleasure. As if sensing my predicament, he leaned forwards and let go of my hips with one hand to guide my hands back to his shoulders. Getting hold of his hair, I turned my head as far as possible and pulled his face closer to mine, meeting his lips as hard as his hips met mine.
Together we climbed higher and higher with each snap of his hips until I swear I could taste the stars.
"Tell me I wouldn't do anything for you."
"Dante!" Feeling his hot breath ghosting over the sensitive skin on the back of my neck send me over the edge and I shattered in one of the most powerful climaxes that ever raked through my body, clamping down tightly on him. Behind me, Dante shuddered as he too exploded deep inside me, pulling me as close as physically possible.
For a moment, the world stopped turning and everything revolved around him.
He was my world.
We both caught our breaths, still joined beneath the stream that slowly started to turn lukewarm when Dante finally turned me around to face him again. My legs were shaking and he made sure that they wouldn't give out beneath me as he stared into my eyes.
His voice was only a whisper but as he pressed his lips on my face over and over again as light as the touch of a butterfly's wing, every single one of his touches left tingles on my skin.
Pulling back slightly, he stared right into my soul and his words made everything okay again.
Even if just for a minute.
"Now tell me I don´t love you."
.
.
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I am so sorry for the long wait but I had zero motivation to write anything.. no idea if it´s writers block or just procrastination.. I hope to have the next chapter up soon! It will be both of them talking & it will most likely be information overload :D
finally has an app for IOS which is great:) It would have almost been a reason to swap back to Samsung..
However Thanks for reading & everyone who reviews :) It always makes me feel better about my writing so tank you! :)