Cornered 21
Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me
AkuRoku
Everyone just sit down and listen before you shoot me, okay? I know it's been forever since I updated! I know I've broken promises to you guys over and over again! I'm sorry, so very very sorry. I could come up with so many excuses but really it's just been lack of motivation and being unsure of where to go next in this story of mine. I am still writing this and I don't care if it kills me, IT WILL BE FINISHED. I just don't when that will be, so please PLEASE be patient my lovely readers.
Without further ado, the next chapter of Cornered.
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An annoying ringing sound broke through my haze of sleep and woke me up. I groaned and reached blindly for my phone, trying to shut it up. After a few moments of feeling around Axel's nightstand I managed to silence my phone, but in the process I had knocked just about everything else off. Axel groaned and pulled me tighter.
"What the hell are you doing…go back to sleep…"
I grinned and snuggled into his embrace.
"Sorry. My phone woke me up so I shut it off."
His body shook with silent laughter and he opened one eye to look at me.
"All you did was make an even bigger racket."
Axel sounded irritated but I knew he wasn't really mad. He had a playful grin on his face and he leaned his head down and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. It was then that I realized that we would be able to spend all day together. Neither of us had anything to do today. I had no intention of going to school, and I'm sure it wouldn't take much convincing to get Axel to stay here with me. Today was going to be perfect. Nothing would change that.
"Who was on the phone?"
I pouted in protest as Axel pulled his lips from mine. There was plenty of time to talk later, but right now I desperately wanted him.
"Don't know. Don't care. Just kiss me!"
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him. He happily started kissing me again, but not for long. After a few minutes, he gently pulled away and started chuckling.
"Slow down babe. What's the rush?"
I glared at him but it didn't bother him at all. He just kept smiling at me. Which irritated me even more.
"You couldn't keep your hands off of me last night but now that I'm throwing myself at you, you don't want me!?"
I sounded pathetic and I was more than likely overreacting, but I felt like Axel was rejecting me and that hurt worse than any punch that my dad had ever thrown at me.
"Roxas…"
Axel's calm but stern voice pulled me out of my inner self pity.
"…don't even think that. That's not it at all. You know I want you."
Hearing that made me feel a little better, but I knew that something was going on.
"What is it then…?"
Axel heaved a heavy sigh as he averted his gaze and ran his fingers through his hair. I was dying to know what was going on in Axel's head but I told myself I had to be patient. We sat in silence for at least five minutes before he was ready to talk.
"Roxas…I just…"
He hesitated once again but by now my patience had run short.
"What Axel!? What is it!? Spit it out!"
Axel's green eyes snapped back to me in a frustrated glare. I flinched away, scared by his reaction, but then his face softened into a worried expression.
"Is this what you really want…?"
I was totally taken aback by that question. I just sat there, staring at him in confusion, unsure of how to respond. I waited for Axel to say something else, but he didn't. He just stared at me expectantly.
"W-what do you mean…?"
My voice came out shaky and breathless. I knew I had no reason to yet, but I was starting to panic. Did Axel not want to be with me anymore? Had I done something wrong? I mean I knew all along that I didn't deserve someone like Axel but he had said he loved me…and I loved him…I didn't know what I'd do if I lost him now…
"Roxas…"
Axel wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight to him, as if I was about leave. But I wasn't going anywhere. Where would I go? I didn't want to be anywhere else. I just wanted to be here. With Axel. How could he not know that?
"Roxas, I know what you're thinking and it's not true. I promise. I love you. I just don't want you to do anything you don't want to do…I feel like I'm forcing you into something you're not ready for…"
Just a second ago I hadn't wanted to be anywhere but right here with Axel, but now…Now I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. I couldn't believe he had just said that. He thought that little of my feelings for him? He knew why it took me so long to admit to them. He knew why I pushed him away. But he also knew exactly how I felt the entire time. But now he was going to doubt how I really felt? Now he was the one pushing me away. What the hell!?
"You know what Axel, just go fuck off!"
I pulled myself out of his grasp and pushed myself off the bed, determined to leave. I was so pissed at Axel, I just couldn't stand to be around him right now. I scanned the room for my clothes, but before I could limp my way over to them Axel grabbed my wrist and stopped me.
"Roxas wait! Just listen to me, please!? Let me explain!"
I yanked my arm away and rounded on him.
"I'm finally ready to be with you and now you're looking for a way to get rid of me! What is there to explain Axel!?"
He flinched and his face fell. I almost felt guilty for hurting him but he had hurt me more. I had every right to be mad at him. Axel opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything my phone started ringing again. We both looked at it as it rang but I didn't move to answer it and neither did Axel.
The silence that filled the room and seeing Axel hurt had calmed me down a bit but I was still hurt and angry.
"Fine…Talk."
Axel breathed a sigh of relief when I said that and reached out for me, but I stepped away.
"You don't need to touch me to talk…"
Axel's face fell again but I forced myself to ignore how horrible it made me feel. He looked at me pleadingly until he realized I wasn't going to change my mind.
"Roxas, you pushed me away ever since we first met. Even before I started to have feelings for you. And once you realized how I felt it got even worse. No matter what I said or did you wanted nothing to do with me. Your dad hates me. He's forbidden you from ever being around me again. You're directly disobeying your only family to be with me. You're 17 and I'm 21. Of course I'm going to feel like I'm forcing you into a relationship with me…"
I was fuming with anger by the time he had finished. We'd talked about all of that and more. He knew! He knew all of that as soon he met me! But now it was too much!? I couldn't see straight. My vision blurred as tears of anger welled up and ran down my face.
"Roxas…No don't cry. Please don't cry babe."
He moved to get up and walk towards me but I took another step back.
"No! You knew! You knew all of that! If it's such a problem you should've thought about all of that before you made me feel the way I feel! If it's too much for you to handle you should've just ignored me when I ran into you on the street! I never wanted your pity you bastard!"
Axel stopped in his tracks as I yelled at him. He looked shocked at first but then his eyes glazed over with anger and he was glaring at me. I hated that he was looking at me like that, hated that I felt slightly scared of him and a violent sob racked its way through me. But I stood my ground. I was probably going to lose him now anyways. I would have to get used to him hating me.
Axel opened his mouth to retaliate and I braced myself for what he was going to say. He was going to break up with me, tell me he never wanted to see me again, kick me out of his apartment and out of his life for good. I'd never see him again. My life was going to revert back to how it was before I met him. It was going to go back to being a living hell. No, it was going to be even worse because now I didn't even have my friends to seek comfort in. I was truly alone now.
That thought terrified me and another sob racked through me. I wanted to take back everything I had said. I opened my mouth to do just that at the same time that Axel started to yell at me but before either of us could say anything my phone started ringing. Again. I was ready to throw the damn thing out the window!
"You should answer that…If they keep calling back its probably important…"
Axel's voice sounded tired and defeated. Guilt washed over me. I had done this to him. I could care less about who was calling me. All I wanted was to fix things between me and Axel.
"No. Just let it ring. I'll call them back later!"
"Dammit, Roxas just answer the dame phone!"
"No!"
"Fine! I'll answer it my fucking self!"
Axel stomped across the room and grabbed my phone off of the table. It pissed me off! He had no right to answer my phone for me!
"Hey! That's my phone! It's none of your busi—"
Axel ignored me and answered the call anyways.
"What!?"
I stopped in my tracks and flinched away from the anger in his voice. I figured it was either my dad or one of my friends calling to chew me out about yesterday. So before Axel could make the situation any worse I figured I might as well talk to whoever it was.
"Just give me the phone Axel…"
I held my hand out, expecting him to place my phone in my hand and storm out of the room. He didn't do either though. In fact, he looked…scared. His face looked ashen and pale and I started to get a really bad feeling.
"Axel…?"
He ignored me and turned around.
"Are you sure…?"
Okay now I was beyond pissed off! Not to mention confused! Who the hell was he talking to and why did he look so scared and why was he ignoring me!?
"Axel!"
He briefly glanced at me before turning his back to me again. He started nodding his head and saying a string of yeses before saying thank you and finally hanging up MY, may I repeat MY phone and turning back to me.
He had a weird expression on his face and he still looked oddly pale and scared.
"Okay, what the hell was that about!? Who was on the phone!? What the fuck is going on!?"
Axel acted like he couldn't even hear me, plopped down onto his bed and pinched the bridge of his nose. I waited, hoping he'd dignify me with a response but he just continued to sit there in silence. Eventually my anger faded and I began to worry.
"Axel…What's going on?"
I took a step forward, wanting to comfort him but hesitated, unsure if I should after our fight.
"Roxas…I'm sorry…"
"What for Axel…? What's happened?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose even harder for a moment, before looking up at me with a tortured expression on his face.
"I don't know how to tell you this babe…"
The tone of his voice sent a nervous chill down my spine. I didn't want to know what he had to tell me. I was scared to know. But like always curiosity won out.
"Tell me…"
My voice trembled slightly as I asked. Axel stared at me in silence for a few moments before answering.
"You said your dad was drinking last night right…?"
His question took me off guard. Why was he asking about my dad?
"Yea, but what does he have to do with this? Was he on the phone!? Did he threaten you again!? I just wish he'd get out of my life already! I hate him!"
I continued to rant about how much I despised my father, but suddenly Axel stood up with an angry expression on his face. I got scared and stopped talking abruptly, taking a step away from Axel.
"Don't say that stuff Roxas!"
I didn't understand why he looked so angry. My father had put me, and now Axel, through so much. He deserved so much more than me just talking shit about him.
"Why Axel!? You know what a bastard he is! You know what he's done to me! He's threatened you! Hurt you! Why are you defending him!? What the FUCK is going on?! Tell me! Now!"
I stared pleadingly at Axel, begging him to explain himself. Nothing was making sense anymore. If I was dreaming I desperately wanted to wake up. I wanted things back to normal. When Axel and I were happy together. When my dad was someone we both hated and wanted out of our lives. I wanted to erase the last hour and just redo the whole morning.
"Roxas, your dad is in the hospital. That's who was on the phone. They were calling to let you know that he had been in a car crash and that they were bringing him in. I'm sorry…"
Axel watched me carefully, gauging my reaction to the news. I had no reaction though. I couldn't process what he had told me. My dad? In a car crash? No way. He drove drunk all the time. There was no way he could be in the hospital. They had the wrong guy. They called me by mistake. I had nothing to worry about. Wait! Why the fuck was I worried? I hated my dad! I was just ranting about how much I despised him! I could look at my naked body in the mirror and remember how I got every single injury. But he was my dad! What if he was dying!? No! They had the wrong guy!
I was too confused. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't handle this. I sank to floor, clutching my knees to my chest. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest in panic. I could barely breathe. I was taking in short, shallow breaths. The lack of air was making me feel light headed and I felt like I might pass out.
"Roxas! You need to calm down!"
Axel knelt down beside me and pulled me against his chest. His warmth and smell slightly comforted me but I still couldn't get a hold of myself. I began to sob uncontrollably. I clung to Axel for support. He gently rubbed my back and whispered that everything was going to be okay over and over again.
"Shush…shush…it'll be alright Roxas. I promise. Shush babe…it's alright, I've got you."
I'm not sure how long we sat there, but eventually being in Axel's arms and he hearing his reassuring words managed to calm me down.
I pulled away slightly to wipe some snot off of my face and hiccupped quietly.
"Axel…can we go to the hospital…I wanna see him."
He hesitated for a moment, probably determining if I was up for it or not, before nodding his head.
"Sure Rox, if that's what you want."
I nodded, confirming it was indeed what I wanted. Axel helped me up off the ground. I was going to start looking for clothes but before I could step away from him, Axel pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. It took me a moment to respond but once again I was clinging to him as if my life depended on it. In a way, it really did. If my dad didn't make it…Axel was the only thing I had left.
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I hated fighting with Roxas. I knew it was kind of my fault and that I had hurt him, but why was it so damn hard for him to understand!? Why couldn't he get how much I cared about him and that the last thing I wanted to do was lose him? Okay yea sure I know he has self-esteem issues and that he thinks he doesn't deserve me or some shit but I've told him over and over again but he still refuses to believe it. He's so damn frustrating and stubborn! And if that damn phone doesn't stop ringing I will throw it out the window!
"You should answer that…If they keep calling back its probably important…"
I managed to keep my voice calm somehow. Despite how pissed I was I wanted to talk to talk to Roxas calmly. I was over all the yelling.
"No. Just let it ring. I'll call them back later!"
So much for no more yelling…
"Dammit, Roxas just answer the dame phone!"
"No!"
Once again. HE. IS. SO. DAMN. STUBBORN.
"Fine! I'll answer it my fucking self!"
I was pissed when I answered the call I'm surprised I didn't crack the screen a little. But with just a few words from the woman on the phone, all my anger evaporated and was replaced with fear. Roxas' dad was in the hospital. He had been driving drunk and got into a wreck. I had no idea what to do. I was transported back to the night that I found out my parents had been killed. I didn't want Roxas to go through that kind of pain. Again. He'd already lost his mom and he blamed himself. Despite what his dad put him through it would still hurt Roxas to lose him. No matter how much Roxas denied he cared about his dad.
And that's just what he did. As soon as I mentioned his dad he went into a rant about how much he hated him and despised him. How he wanted his dad out of his life for good. Not knowing that that wish may just come true tonight…So I told him what had happened. I saw all kinds of emotions swimming through Roxas' eyes. Denial, fear, guilt, worry, denial, and then some more guilt. Roxas always had to put the blame on himself. Watching Roxas breaking down was one of the hardest things I've ever had to watch. Before I could even register what I was doing, I was across the room and holding him in my arms, trying to offer whatever comfort I possibly could.
Eventually Roxas managed to calm down some. His relentless sobs had subsided to a few trickling tears and he pulled away to wipe away the snot that had gathered on his face, though most of it was on my chest. I knew that he would ask to go see his dad, but I'd give anything to just keep him here in my arms. If he nearly had an emotional breakdown just hearing about what happened to his dad, how would he take seeing him injured in a hospital bed? Worse, what if we got there and his dad was already dead? But I did the only thing I could do; I told him I would take him. How could I say no?
I helped Roxas up but before he could take even a single step away from me, I pulled him into another tight embrace. For just a moment I wanted it to just be me and him again, I needed him to know that I was here for him no matter what happened. Because after we walk out my door tonight, as much as I don't want it to be true, everything will change. No matter what ends up happening, the events of tonight will forever hang over whatever relationship Roxas and I have.
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So I ask you guys not to shoot me and then I end with a cliffhanger like that…I KNOW I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!
But I have already started writing chapter 22 and it's coming along nicely, I just need to make decisions and tweak some things. I'm not gonna promise anything cause I can never seem to keep to those promises. However, I feel like I'm going to be writing a lot this summer. I'm out of school and my boyfriend just left for basic training –insert sad crying face- so I'm going to have a lot of free time.
As always reviews are appreciated and if you've stuck with this entire time, I absolutely adore you. Have some cookies, or cake, or whatever else you like. And my amazing, wonderful, bootfiul beta deserves all the praise in the world for putting up with my horrible writing tendencies!
Also, if you wish to follow me on tumblr my URL is 1gurgi1 . tumblr .com