Reprisal

Author Note: Argh! Horrible, horrible chapter. This just refused to flow. I had the whole thing planned out in my head, and it just went horrifically wrong. I might re-write it at a later date, but right now I just want to carry on with the story.

Chapter Twenty-One

The confrontation came a week later.

She knew it was too good to be true. A week without meeting the searching, desperate blue eyes; a week of managing to be completely alone, or else so surrounded by people that intimate conversation wasn't possible. A week in which every night was spent away from normality in the arms of a man that wouldn't ask questions or make demands, but was happy to oblige in any way she wanted. He didn't ask for thanks. He didn't ask for longwinded goodbyes or explanations.

He got everything he wanted from the arrangement, and made that fact clear.

She'd always been a morning creature, loving to rise with the dawn and sip coffee in the garden with the break of day chill still in the air. But now mornings meant something else. Whilst part of her was desperate to escape the sordid bed she'd made, another part wanted to stay. It was becoming harder to drag herself away from the lanky arms that twisted around her as he slept, and far too easy to find excuses to escape to them at the end of each day.

Barrett knew, that much was obvious. Cloud suspected. She avoided both of them.

"Tifa?"

She was sitting in the kitchen when it happened, waiting for her opportunity to flee.

She turned around to see Cloud framed in the door behind her, his eyes- though still unusually bright- empty. She stared back at him, unwilling to speak. She almost wanted him to be angry. This lonely, miserable man standing in front of her didn't deserve what she was about to do, and she knew it. It made the fact that she longed to leave that much worse.

"You're going again, aren't you?" he asked sadly.

Her mouth was uncomfortably dry. She merely nodded in response.

"I guess I deserve it," he laughed, but the sound was cold and vacant.

She stared at the floor, unwilling to meet the disappointed look in his eyes.

"Is it…are you trying to get back at me?"

She could feel her cheeks burning. She shook her head, ignoring the pang of guilt in her stomach.

"If you are he deserves it."

She looked up at him, noting the steely edge his voice had adopted. His arms may have been adamantly fixed at his sides, but she could see his fists clenching. She wondered whether Reno was waiting for her, whether he cared or not if she came.

Cloud, realising she wasn't going to reply, took a step towards her, "Tifa… I don't remember anything. I've never seen that woman before. I don't know what happened."

The words were slightly rushed, as though he'd been practising the speech in his head before he confronted her.

"I'm not doing this to punish you," she whispered, staring once again at the floor, "I'm doing this because…"

"I love you."

"What?" her head jerked up, her eyes snapping onto his face, "Don't…"

"I love you," he tried again, taking another step towards her, "I want you to stay. With me."

"But…" she stood up shakily and edged away from him, "Cloud I…"

"Please. Stay?"

He looked hopeful, but there was something else behind his eyes. There was a hint of desperation, as though he was trying everything he could think of to make her stay. It was that that distracted her from his words. He didn't mean it. Of course he didn't; he just didn't want his enemy to have her, like a child with its favourite toy.

She jerked backwards unsteadily, "No Cloud. I can't."

"Why?" he demanded angrily, "It's not like he cares. You're just another conquest…"

"So what if I am," she snapped back, "At least he makes me happy."

"And I can't do that?"

"No!" she shouted, "I thought you could, once. But there's always someone else. It's never been me you're looking for, I was just there…"

"That's not true," he replied, although he just sounded petulant and sulky, "You know that's not true."

"I don't know anything anymore, Cloud."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, "Nothing."

Leaving the house was a daze. She just remembered Cloud shouting after her, and hearing Barrett's voice in the distance, telling them to be quiet because the kids were sleeping. She didn't know that Yuffie was watching her from an upstairs window, or that Cid was lying on the sofa debating whether to go after her and bring her home.

His words echoed in her head and she hurried along the pavement, drawing her arms around herself to shut out the cold. In her hurry to leave she'd forgotten a coat, and the thin material of her shirt did nothing to protect her from the chill. A light drizzle began to fall and she cursed loudly, not caring whether there was anyone to hear her.

She didn't know whether she believed him or not. She didn't know whether she cared. She just wanted to throw herself into Reno's arms and forget about the world until the morning. Surely she deserved that much?

A car crept past her slowly, illuminating the street in front of her. She caught a glimpse of a face staring out of the window curiously, no doubt wondering why a woman was out on her own that late at night, but she ignored it. It prowled along beside her for a few seconds, before picking up speed and disappearing into the night. She thought nothing of it.

It wasn't long before she was turning into the familiar street, lined with bags of rubbish and deserted cars. The drizzle had stopped, leaving her feeling cold and damp, and even gladder of her destination.

She approached the apartment building and opened the door, unsurprised that it wasn't locked. She took the stairs slowly, still mulling over the situation in her head. Halfway up she debated leaving, but thought better of it. Returning home would mean sharing a bed with Cloud or sleeping on the floor, and she wanted to avoid the interrogation she knew was coming for as long as possible.

The butterflies in her stomach as she reached his apartment proved to her that she was doing the right thing. She could already feel the long day slipping from her mind as anticipation took over. She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously and knocked the door.

It was wrenched open a minute later. A pair of aqua eyes were glaring at her from the light in the doorway, and she was hit by the smell of cigarette smoke and the soft buzz of a television in the background. She smiled in greeting, biting her lip expectantly.

"Not tonight," he stated simply, and slammed the door in her face.