Here was his excuse and the fact that there was no nexus of causality was utterly irrelevant. Such things had never bothered him anyway.
And just in time for Izaya was back and blinking at the wrecked surroundings.
"What happened…?"
Shizuo took the chance to wave the tiny camera around.
"Izaya! That Russian guy was stalking you! See! He was spying on you! So I threw him out of the window."
Now here was something not even Izaya had anticipated. He brought to mind very sad kittens in Siberia, during the winter, in the snow. Izaya's eyes filled with tears because he was that good.
"How could he? Shizu-chan, I thought I had found the love of my life!"
Izaya flung himself into Shizuo's arms and cried softly. Shizuo's heart skipped a beat. He had to calm himself down lest he stuttered.
"It's okay- I'm here for you."
Izaya sobbed.
"Shizu-chan, my heart is broken."
"I'll make you some tea."
Shizuo cursed himself, what a pathetic thing to say. He needed to offer comfort. Shizuo remembered that in TV dramas the supportive best friend often got promoted to significant other if he timed things just right. Unfortunately timing, along with reading the mood, were not Shizuo's strongest points. So he fixed a cup of them and handed it to Izaya who huddled on the sofa, tears still steaming down his cheeks.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Drink some."
Izaya sipped. Shizuo was about to offer him a handkerchief but at the last moment he was influenced by cheesy movies and decided to wipe the tears instead. He would rather kiss them away but this was not completely bad either.
"Thank you, Shizu-chan."
Izaya leant his head against Shizuo's shoulder and they sat side by side.
"You'll be fine. Don't worry."
"Have you ever had your heart broken? How do you cope with it!"
It happened to Shizuo far too often given how prone to sleeping around Izaya was. And he usually handled it by kicking stuff around and throwing a vending machine or two. Usually at Izaya himself, in fact.
"I just…try to look ahead?"
Izaya snuggled against him.
"You are so mature. I'm glad that I didn't even get to first base with him."
"You didn't? Great! I mean, that's a good thing."
Shizuo wanted to celebrate.
"Yes…but I'm shattered. Why can't I find someone that likes me? And not just for the sex. But I'd like that too. I'm so needy."
Izaya's voice trembled slightly. He clung to Shizuo and wept some more. Shizuo's mind was having something of a shutdown. He had to swallow a few times to clear his throat and he was still in a muddle as to what to say. All this clinging was not exactly helping either. At length he managed to stutter something vaguely coherent.
"Eh, I like you, I mean- you're nice and pretty and cute. And it's not like I'd mind to, you know, eh…sleep with you."
Izaya bit his lips again. This was priceless. Shizuo interpreted his silence by breaking it hastily,
"But only if you want, that is! It's not as if I'd force you- nothing like that."
"Shizu-chan…that is so nice of you. But forcing yourself into this…"
Shizuo gave him a really weak smile. Dark Shizuo and White Shizuo were both floored.
"No, don't worry about that."
Now was of course the time for Shizuo to make his grand confession. The one he had been dreading and dreaming about for years. But Izaya got ahead of him.
"Shizu-chan! Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"
Shizuo started.
"You mean…you knew?"
This was a rollercoaster indeed, suddenly Shizuo felt as if he had a real chance.
"Not up to this point!"
Izaya got even closer and crawled into his lap. Shizuo wondered if this was a dream.
"Izaya…"
Shizuo kissed him, hungrily. Izaya was left breathless.
"Aw, why didn't you tell me sooner that you wanted to be friends with benefits?"