A/N: Okay this is a little shorter, but it's all Don! Him and Colby have a little heart to heart. It was really hard to write but here it is! We're almost finished, just a few more chapters to go! This is where you reward my hard work by throwing cookies and reviews at me! Anyways I"m officially rambling so on with the Chapter!
Chapter 21
Colby was driving at break neck speeds, allowed to pass only because of the lights. He didn't know what condition Don was in, just that he'd been found. His mind was still mulling over what Charlie had talked to him about. It was a surprise really. He hadn't expected that talking about the coffee table would actually work, it was just supposed to be the starting point. He still couldn't imagine what Charlie had gone through. He kept wondering, how would he take it, if he had been attacked like Charlie had, not able to see what or who was attacking and why. He only hoped that he would be able to handle it as well as Charlie. It was hard for him he knew, but then after he'd discovered Charlie thought that he wasn't worth being saved, cemented by the fact that it hadn't been Don but Colby that got him out of the warehouse and his flight away from him at the hospital, it only seemed the truth to Charlie. He was glad to have been able to help Charlie a little. He was no replacement for Don that was for sure, but he had helped him make a small step forward. That smile that he'd had when he left was a definite sign, it would be a long hard road, but he could get through this, especially with Don back.
His thoughts drifted to Don again. He wasn't sure how to help him. Don had been forced to see everything happening. He'd been free and yet a captive all the same. He shuddered remember the video he'd seen, of Don at the bank, when they'd taken him into that office. He'd seen the video of Don coming out first, how what they'd done in there sent him into a state of shock. That alone had shaken him, seeing Don so hurt, so vulnerable like that. That wasn't Don. Don was the tough one, invincible, unshaken by anything, in control. He knew that it wasn't true to think like that, but that was the idea the Don gave off. Once he saw that, he knew he'd have to steel himself for what actually happened. If it could shake Don like that, then it could shake most anyone. While watching it he'd had to constantly sip and ice cold water bottle to keep from throwing up. It was bad.
There was a video conference, the screen turned towards Don. On the screen was Charlie, hanging by his wrists from the ceiling. He wasn't cut up so badly as when he'd found him, it was mostly all the hideous bruises and broken bones. It made his heart clench even now, knowing that he was safe again. He watched as they cut the rope and let him drop in a heap to the ground. He gave a weak whimper followed by a moan as he was hoisted roughly onto a table. He tossed his head side to side in protest, unable to do anything else. Although he was blindfolded it was clear that he was only semi-conscious and Colby suspected that it was close to this time that the delirium had set in. He was mumbling, mostly for Don to help him, but at times he would say things like 'mom knew you'd come' or other references as if is mother were there again. It made Colby want to cry. They were clearly not concerned about Charlie trying to escape, or trying anything for that matter as he as completely unrestrained, only the blindfold remaining. His skin was flushed with the fever.
He watched with a clenched jaw that would twitch in rage or have to blink back tears that threatened as he watched them cut Charlie and watch as Don reacted to each and every cry. They were cutting slowly, never getting close to any arteries, only going deep enough to cause a great deal of pain. And that is exactly what Charlie was in. At his strongest moments, which were few and far apart, he would try to roll away from them and their wicked knives, begging for them to stop. Colby had never been so glad before when Charlie finally succumbed to a fevered unconsciousness. It was a mercy to Charlie. But there was no mercy for Don, who looked near fainting and getting sick. Every now and then Don would plead for Charlie's sake that they stop. He would just receive a sharp blow to the head and told to be quiet. The showing only got worse when the guy who'd been cutting, stopped and checked Charlie's pulse. They taunted Don for a minute or two then, slowly they hooked Charlie up to a heart monitor and defibrillator. The flat line was ear piercing. Don was hyperventilating.
They watched horrified as Charlie's body arched off the table and crashed down painfully, arching higher every time. It took three attempts, but both Don and Colby were sighing with relief when that weak but ever present heartbeat returned. Colby had to remind himself several times that this was a video and that Charlie was alive and looking like he would stay that way. They flat lined Charlie three more times, each one becoming harder to revive him, before they took Don out of the office in a severe state of shock. Colby would never admit it, but he'd felt like crying after watching. He'd had to go to the men's room and work to maintain composure. He wondered whether Don would ever really get past that day, especially. He was jerked from his thoughts as he arrived at the medium size park.
Colby got out and approached the officer that was leaned against a tree, keeping an eye on Don, in a relaxed fashion. He walked up quietly, nodding to the officer. He looked over to where Don was, waiting for a bit before heading over. He was sitting, leaned against a fair sized tree, his knees drawn up somewhat, his elbows resting on his knees, an object in his hands, though what it was Colby couldn't quite see. He was clearly oblivious to the officer and Colby who were watching a good ten feet away.
"How long has he been there?"
"Well, someone said they saw him stumble to that tree sometime yesterday, but they didn't report anything until today when they saw the BOLO out for him. He was still here when I arrived to check it out."
"Has he said anything?"
"Nope, he's oblivious to everything around him."
"All right, thanks for your help. You don't have to stay now." the officer nodded, walking away, stealing one last curious glance at Don. Colby waited until the officer was gone and with a tired sigh went over and crouched in front of Don. He wasn't aware of the new presence. Now that he was closer he could see that Don was holding the knife that was missing from the car.
"Don? Don?"
"I couldn't do it"
"What?"
"I couldn't do it. I was going to, but I just couldn't do it." Colby noticed that on Don's left wrist was a red slice that looked as if he'd tried to slit his wrist but stopped himself from doing it, the only evidence left behind was the red mark of bruised skin. He gulped at how close Don had come to actually going through with it.
"You were going to kill yourself?" he prompted. Don nodded.
"I just kept thinking that if I wasn't around, I'd stop causing Charlie more pain. But I couldn't do it, I just couldn't do it."
"I'm glad you couldn't do it, because it's not what Charlie wants, and I know that ultimately it wasn't what you wanted either."
"I don't know what I want anymore."
"We'll I think you should wait on the suicide until you do know." Don gave a sad laugh.
"You know when Charlie gave me this knife, it wasn't long after mom died."
"Yeah"
"Charlie hadn't been out of his numbers for very long, a week at most I think. He just stopped I guess and looked around to find his life completely changed."
"Mmm hmmm…"
"I was so mad at him at the time, I couldn't believe or understand what he'd done. I'd said some pretty harsh things not long before. After that I ignored his very existence."
"Yeah"
"I was so determined to hate him and be mad at the world that I didn't see how badly he was hurting. He'd lost mom, but he'd lost his brother too, and at the time I didn't care."
"and?"
"He avoided me for a while, gave me more then enough space, to cool off I guess. Anyways, one day I came home. I didn't see him at all that day, don't know where he went. But in my room I found a note, with the knife on top of it so I could see the inscription. All the note said was 'I've lost my mother, I don't want to lose my brother too. I'm sorry. Charlie' well after that, yes I was still mad, but I realized that after a while, I was actually having to work at being mad at him. I guess you could say it opened the door for what we had before all of this."
"You know Don, just because all of this happened, doesn't me that what you've had with Charlie is ruined. He doesn't blame or hate you in the least bit. To be honest he thinks that you don't want anything to do with him. He's felt rejected ever since you ran from the hospital." Don looked up for the first time horrified at Colby.
"But, I-I don't hate him."
"That's what I told him, but he needs to hear it from you. You need to go home an talk to him Don. So how bout I take you home and you can talk to Charlie, it'll do you both good."
"No! I'm, I'm not ready to face him yet. Please, not yet." Colby thought for a moment, trying to think of a compromise.
"How bout this, it's going to be pretty late when we get back to L.A and I'm betting we need to stop and get you something to eat before we leave. So you can spend the night at my house, get a little time to compose yourself for seeing Charlie and I'll drop you off at Charlie's house in the morning." Don allowed himself a small, but genuine smile. This was a good compromise.
"Oh Colby"
"yeah?"
"Please don't tell them that I tried to uh, ya know."
"If you promise me one thing"
"What?"
"Don't try it again, and if you get any thoughts of trying again, come to me first okay." Don smiled a little, glad to have Colby as a friend.
"Deal" Before they left they stopped for some food and Don realized just how hungry he'd been. As they drove home, Don found himself sinking into the seat, a warm cozy blanket curled around him, drifting into the first peaceful sleep he'd had in a long time, unbeknownst to the smile that stretched across his face. He was done running.