You guys are awesome. I have a story with 201 reviews… it makes me so happy! (cough) Not that it really matters how many reviews you have… it's not a contest or anything… but WOW! 201 Reviews!!!!!

201 Reviews!?!?! Are you all kidding me!?!?!

Oh what's that? You want this author's note to be over with so you can read the story? Sorry… I'll get on that.

Disclaimers: I don't own Harry Potter.

The room was in utter chaos. The students were either causing some harm to each other, themselves, or the decorations in the Common Room itself.

And in the case of Harry and Fred… well… there was a smack down taking place.

"How could you do this to me!?" Harry wailed as he clung to Fred's heels after tackling him to the ground. "I thought that we were FRIENDS Fred!!! Why would you bring her back!?!?!" Fred thrashed against Harry's hold and for the first time in a long time… Fred feared for his very life. Harry seemed like he would actually kill him.

"Get off you Sue-loving midget-like freak!!" Fred screamed and tried desperately to kick at Harry's face so he would let go. Harry just continued to cry and shout profanities at Fred, something that increased in volume when Fred managed to snap Harry's glasses in half.

"Fred stop hurting him!" Ginny screeched but found that she was incapable of rising from her chair. She was immobile but she sure as hell wasn't happy about it. "Leave him alone you bloody, sodding, idiot!!"

Meanwhile, in the corner, Draco was sitting by himself and watching the chaos with wild eyes.

"She's coming to get us… nothing can stop her…" he muttered, eyes roaming all around the room. "She's going to kill us… or rape us… or murder us… or turn us into some freak!" Draco laughed manically for a moment before continuing on. "We will all pay… yes… we will all pay…"

Ron was sitting in the ground in the middle of the room lethargically while Hermione spat curses at him. She screamed and swore upon his grandmother's name and yet he still did nothing. Ron just sat there… looking paler than a ghost. Hermione gave a scream of annoyance and grabbed the nearest book and tore out the pages.

"I will never read again!" she vowed, "Never! Never! Never!!!!!" The pages that she tore out she crumpled and shredded until they weren't legible anymore. In fact, Hermione always wondered about that papery taste left over from her mouth hours after the incident. She had blocked the image of her eating and chewing the pages from her brain.

And in another part of the room, Dean, Seamus, and George were all holding a little Book Club.

"I really think that Acacya has the best intentions at heart," Seamus said seriously while Dean rolled his eyes. "She obviously loves Harry very much and will do anything to make sure that she will be with him forever."

"Well it's obvious that she's just using Harry to get the fame," Dean snapped as if it were a fact. "Once she gets what she wants she'll leave him alone and empty handed. She's just a good-for-nothing boyfriend leaver!"

"Well I think both you blokes are wrong," George said, reading over his notes carefully. "If what I wrote here is true then Acacya's parents are really aliens and they'll soon be wanting her to come home. Harry will be heartbroken and will have to make a choice. Save the Wizarding World? Or be with Acacya in an eternal space romance?"

All three boys were quiet.

"You're right George," Seamus agreed and Dean nodded his head in approval.

Neville and Luna sat quietly on a couch playing a game of Wizard Chess, frowning in concentration. Luna was having some trouble though.

"Do you mind?" she snapped at all the others, looking irritated. "I'm trying to play a game here but I can't bloody concentrate if all you are screaming and trying to kill each other!"

Neville, however, was having troubles of his own.

"That Queen's dress is too low cut," he complained. "She needs to cover up before someone thinks that she is a hooker!"

So yes… things were not going well at all in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Suddenly though, there came the heavy footsteps of someone entering the room. Everyone froze in the middle of their actions, hardly daring to hope that it wasn't Acacya coming down to greet them.

The footsteps came closer… and closer… and they were louder… and louder. Draco was reaching nervously for a fire poker, eyes gleaming insanely.

And suddenly…

Remus J. Lupin loudly entered the room in wide-eyed terror.

"What's going on? I could hear you all from the Boy's Dorms!" Everyone gaped at him… not believing what they just witnessed.

"Remus!" Harry cried, finally abandoning Fred and running straight into his friend's arms. "I'm so glad you're here! I need you to kill Fred!" Remus's expression was shocked as he stared at the damage done to the room.

"Kill Fred? What's going on?" he asked again. Everyone stared at him in silence before they all began to talk at once.

"Ron and Harry found this book…"

"…Has some sort of wicked spell on it…"

"…Acacya is her name…"

"…Mary-Sue author named PrettySprinklesSparklesRainbow…"

"…Woman is nuttier than squirrel poo…"

"…Insults everyone in it but herself and the men…"

"…She thinks I'm sexy…"

"…Concert at Hogwarts…"

"…Shimmy…"

"…Leather dresses…"

"…Can't die…"

"…FRED BROUGHT HER BACK…"

"…Sevvy and Minnie…"

"…She's going to come here and kill us…"

"…Wants to have my children…"

"…My poor virgin eyes…"

"ENOUGH!" Remus shouted over the commotion and the children all immediately quieted down, willing to listen to their friend Remus. "What you all need…" Remus looked at all of them and nodded to himself, "Is chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate…"

And he immediately reached into his coat pocket and pulled five large bars of chocolate. Once the wrapping was peeled off he distributed squares to each of them evenly (though he admittedly gave a little more to Ginny and Hermione and Luna. They seemed like they could use a little extra dosage.) and insisted that they eat every last bite.

Despite their initial skepticism the students began to realize that the chocolate actually worked. It filled them up with happiness and good feelings so that they regained some of their mental stability. With each bite they regained their normal feelings.

Though Harry was still really mad at Fred but that wasn't entirely fueled by the mental breakdown…

"Now, can someone PLEASE explain to me, calmly, what is going on here?" Remus asked and Hermione slowly raised her hand. Remus sighed. "Hermione, I'm not a teacher anymore. You don't have to raise your hand." Though what Remus found annoying everyone else found as a relief. She was back to being a know-it-all and that suited them just fine.

"Well… we were in the Forbidden Section…" Hermione stopped and blushed, looking guilty. "And Ron and Harry found this book. I tried to warn them the powers of Mary-Sues but they just wouldn't listen!"

"A Mary-Sue?" Remus asked, looking intrigued.

"A girl character made up by the authoress that is entirely indestructible, perfect, powerful, and holds a seductive power over all she meets," Ron quoted. "I looked it up." Hermione raised her eyebrows but continued on.

"So I challenged them to read it out loud, which we did, and somehow Malfoy got here," Hermione explained, motioning to the room full of students. "And it's driven us all insane… basically."

"But… it's just a story, isn't it?" Remus said, glancing at all the children's distraught faces.

"Oh," Hermione cried and flushed a little more at her silliness. "I forgot to mention that when we woke up this morning the book was glowing, talking to Neville and Luna, and refusing to let us out of the Common Room until we finish the story."

"Well that changes things," Remus agreed. "Will the Fat Lady not let you out?" Everyone shook their heads.

Silence.

"How… um… how did you get here?" Ginny finally asked. Remus looked over her and smiled in an apologetic way.

"Well, I tried to contact you last night Harry," Remus said, now looking over at Harry. "Molly wanted me to tell Ron that he needed to send his socks to her for cleaning last night if he wanted them done." Ron blushed noticeably. "But I couldn't get through! I was worried so I… erm…" Remus looked a little embarrassed now. "I flew over here to see what was going on."

"Overprotective much?" Harry wondered, rolling his eyes a little. Remus glared at Harry but continued with his explanation.

"But your Common Room wouldn't open so I flew over to one of the dormitories," Remus said, now radiating embarrassment. "And I jumped through an open window." The student reaction was nothing but enthusiastic.

"That means you can get us out of here!" Ron cried in triumph and grinned from ear-to-ear. The other students all exclaimed similar sentiments and began to all run up to the Boy's Dormitory in hopes of seeing a broomstick hovering by the window, waiting for them.

"I wish I could say that was the case," Lupin began calmly, stopping everyone in their tracks. "But unfortunately I had a little trouble and the broom crashed into the wall right before I managed to get in," he said regretfully. All the students stood quietly in disappointment before they all looked at one another.

"Acacya," they said in unison, blaming her for the broom crash.

"What?" Lupin asked, looking bewildered.

"It's all Acacya's fault," Seamus declared. "I don't know about you all but I think that she's becoming more real every minute and she's the one keeping us here." A day ago every one of them would have denied this and wrote Seamus off as being drunk again. But now things were different.

"She's fictional!" Lupin insisted, shaking his head. "Someone else has to be behind your Portrait hole not being able to open. Maybe some pranking Slytherins?"

Draco shook his head. "I would have known about it," he muttered.

"Unless maybe you trapped yourself in too just to throw us of!" George snarled, reaching for his wand. "And planted this demon book that you really wrote yourself to drive us insane! It would be one elaborate prank but you're evil enough to do it!" Malfoy sneered and his fingers twitched for his own wand.

"Or maybe the Fat Lady is just so stupid that she forgot how to open herself," he hissed in response, eyes flashing.

"Hey!" Ron bellowed, just as hot-tempered at his brothers, "Don't you insult our Common Room entrance!"

"I can insult whatever I want Weasel!" Malfoy declared. "What are you going to do about it? Give me ugly freckles like you've got?"

"I say we exterminate this ferret," Fred suggested, raising his own wand higher. "He's a pest."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Lupin shouted, stepping between the angry Gryffindors and the lone Slytherin. "Settle down! You can't turn on each other when we're all trapped in this Common Room!"

There came a long, tense pause in which all students involved in the brawl stared intimidatingly at each other. The seconds were dragging into minutes until someone finally lowered his wand.

"Fine," George agreed, putting his wand away. "You're right Remus. But I'm not happy about it." After seeing that that all other opposing wands had been put away, Draco also stuffed his own in his pocket.

"Now, what is it that scares all of you so much?" Remus asked, looking a little amused now that the threat of the students killing each other was gone.

"You don't get it?" Ginny asked despairingly.

"Well, since you're stuck in here anyway," Harry said, motioning to the chair, "Why don't you read next?" Remus studied the son of his best friend before shaking his head in bewilderment.

"Why would you want to keep reading something that reduced you all to sobbing, screaming messes on the floor?" he asked.

"Just indulge our superstition, okay?" Harry pleaded. "We think that if we finish it we can get out of here. So please… help us." Harry knew the guilt trip would work. Remus would do almost anything for him now.

And sure enough, Remus's face broke into an indulgent smile and he nodded agreeably.

"Alright. One chapter, just to prove to you all how you are seriously overreacting about this," Remus said and the other students exchanged glances. They were all just glad that they got to stall even longer before reading a chapter themselves. "Where is the thing?"

"Over on the chair still," Ginny replied meekly, remembering throwing it on the chair in a fit of insanity. Remus nodded and walked over confidently. He then picked up the book and held it up in amusement.

"Well… isn't she the little artist!" he exclaimed and let out a quiet laugh at the decorations littering the book. "Did she throw up pink all over it?" Hermione squealed a little in protest of his crude description. "So sorry Miss Granger," Remus apologized respectfully, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Let's just get on with it," Draco snapped and Remus gave him a teacher look. Draco had enough sense to respect it and kept quiet for a while.

"Ridiculous," Remus muttered but flipped the book open. "This should be enlightening."

A/N: A little short but I wanted to create SOME kind of suspense. And sorry if the addition of Remus is random but I wanted someone new to write for. And plus, I :heart: Remus. :glares: at J.K. Rowling:

And I know that the scene I posted last chapter wasn't in here. I'm sorry… I wasn't able to make it work with the way this chapter turned out. I did have them interact though and maybe I can slip it in in the next chapter or something. It was really more of a teaser anyway. ;D

And I don't own the phrase "nuttier than squirrel poo". All of us who read the 7th book know this belongs to J.K.

Anyway, please review!