Chapter 20– Thorin's talk
"Uncle wants to talk." Kili furrowed his eyebrows at his brother.
"What about?"
"He didn't say," Fili gave an apologetic smile.
"But he wants to speak with us privately, now."
Elle was close enough hear what the brothers were saying and placed her hand over Kili's shoulder.
"Go ahead, I'll be fine here."
"I don't want to leave you on your own."
"Chari, Bilbo and Ori are right here, along with the others," she pointed out and rubbed his shoulder softly.
"I'm fine, really."
Kili sighed heavily and placed his hand over her own giving her soft caring rubs.
"I won't be long, I promise."
Rolling her eyes, she giggled and gave a gentle shove at his shoulder.
"Go, you big goof."
Kili followed his brother away from the company and gave one last quick glance at her before she was out of sight from him.
He huffed in annoyance as they walked up the steps.
"What does he want to talk about?"
"Like I said, I'm not sure," Fili wanted to know himself.
"All I know is he wants to speak with us, along with Balin and Dwalin."
"So, it's like a family meeting?" Fili somehow knew that is what it was, but didn't say it.
"We'll soon find out."
The brothers came to the top of the stair case and followed around a corner to see Thorin standing outside a room.
"What's going on?" Kili just wanted to run back to his One to be at her side again. Fili felt the same.
"Come in," he directed them inside the room and closed the door behind him once his nephews were inside along with Balin and Dwalin.
"Alright, let's get this sorted." Balin announced as he wondered around the room in thought.
Dwalin stood not far with his arms folded, just like he always was. Thorin stood in front of Fili and Kili but before he could speak Gandalf had entered the room uninvited.
"Gandalf, this is a private matter. It doesn't concern you." Thorin scowled the wizard.
"Is that so?" He didn't seem to think otherwise, "Does this private matter have anything to do with the girls?"
Thorin shut his mouth tight, forming a tight line refusing to answer him.
"I thought as much," Gandalf sat in a large arm chair nearby and prepared the pipe in his hands.
"Anything involving them involves me, you shall remember that, Thorin."
Thorin growled lowly at the wizard but said nothing more.
"What is this about? Why can't Elle be here?" Kili was annoyed at him for acting like this.
"I think you know laddie," Balin was the next to speak to him.
"It's about you and the lass. We've all noticed you two have grown close and well, we need to talk about it."
Kili had half guessed this is what this private conversation was about.
"What about it?"
Balin gave a kind smile at him.
"We want to know what your intention is."
Kili looked at everyone in the room and gazed at the ground. He nervously licked his lips, unsure what to tell everyone. He needed to be honest with his family and tell them how he felt for Elle. He just wasn't sure if now was the right time. Something like this needed to be said with her in the room with him, not behind her back.
"I care about her," The words were falling out before he knew it himself and they continued without any thought, "At first I thought it was nothing but I now understand what I'm feeling. I love her...she's my sanâzyung."
Everyone stared at him. They were of course surprised by his answer, except Fili who remembered Kili saying the same thing before the Trolls.
Kili continued, feeling the need to talk more.
"There's a connection, I feel it grow stronger every day. It confused me beyond anything else I've ever experienced before in my life. I now understand my feelings and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."
Balin is the only one who stepped forward towards him.
"Are you sure she's your one?"
Kili nodded proudly.
"I'm positive. If this isn't love, I don't know what is."
Dwalin finally spoke, wanting to understand what the laddie was talking about.
"Does she feel the same?"
"S-she...it's complicated."
Dwalin only shook his head like an idiot.
"How?"
Kili tried to explain.
"We have spoken, this all scares her like it scares me but we know what we feel. She just needs a little bit of time to come to terms with everything. Finding her soulmate was as big a deal for her as it was for me."
Within seconds Fili was on him, both his arms wrapped around him and pressed his forehead against his brothers.
"I'm proud of you, naddîth."
Kili felt a load of relief wash over and smiled.
"Thank you, Fili."
Gandalf was the second the sound the happiest.
"I couldn't be anymore happier. Both you and Elle deserve happiness."
Dwalin still was lost for words, unable to form any as he stood back. Balin showed a growing smile for the young laddie, proud of this newly made news and was very happy about it. Everyone but Thorin had said something. He remained where he stood, where he has been standing in silent the whole time. He showed no sign of joy so Kili took it upon himself to make his uncle snap out of his shock.
"Uncle, please say something?"
Finally, Thorin looked as if he gained his senses again and slowly started to shake his head.
"No."
"No? W-what do you mean?" Kili started to feel afraid of what his uncle was saying.
Balin stepped up to Thorin with a look of confusion.
"Thorin, aren't you happy for your nephew?"
"She's not your One," Thorin didn't even look at his nephew as he spoke, "You're still young and your mind is playing tricks on you from this long journey. Whatever you're feeling isn't real. You should be focused on the quest and not on a woman. You'll stop this, do you understand?"
A horrible long silence was set in the room. His words were harsh and without care, like he meant every word of it. But there was still an uncertainty that lingered in his words, as if he wasn't fully convinced. But no matter, the damage was done.
Kili was hurt by his uncle's words and couldn't do anything other than stand there and stare at him. Fili was the only one who said something to break the silence.
"How could you say that?!"
Balin tried speaking to him.
"Thorin, I don't think he's confused."
Thorin didn't listen.
"No, she cannot be. This is only his destruction, nothing more. He should be focused on the quest!"
"I am focused!"
Kili had enough of his uncle's stubborn behavior.
"Why are you so against what I feel?"
"It's for your own sake! She'll continue with us but you'll keep your false feelings locked away. You'll do as your told!"
Kili wasn't going to follow his uncle's orders. Fili watched the exchange with wide eyes. He knew something like this would happen eventually. That was why he wanted to wait before telling anyone about him and Chari. He didn't want her to go through this.
"No."
Thorin groaned at his nephew.
"Kili-"
"No! I had to listen to you so now you will listen to me. I'm not a child anymore. I know what I feel is real, nothing you say or do will change that!"
Kili balled his fists as he felt his anger grew to a dangerous level.
"Kili, you were lucky enough to be allowed on this quest! Maybe I should've listened to your mother and left you behind. It was I who convinced her, and I'm starting to wonder if I should have!"
"I would've followed and you know that! I'm not a burden nor am I distracted in this company. Elle and I haven't done anything wrong, we only found each other, and what we feel is real. You can either accept that not, it's your choice." Kili spat back at his uncle, angrier than he's ever been in his life.
Thorin stared back dumbfounded at his nephew's words. He's been so stressed about this quest that he has forgotten about everything else that mattered. But why did it have to be now? Why not at the end when they reclaimed Erebor? This was only going to cause problems along the way, at least that is what his mind screamed at him.
But his heart said otherwise.
"Thorin?"
Dwalin now stepped forward to his closest friend, wondering what he was thinking in that thick head of his.
But he remained silent, unable to make words or move an inch.
Kili grew tired of this and shook his head, scoffing, his anger simmering.
"I didn't think you thought of Elle so lowly, she would be crushed if she was here. You don't realize how much she respects you and she would run into any battle by your side without hesitation!"
With his last words, he stormed out the room with an annoyed scoff and headed back to the company.
He was angry with his uncle. No, he was furious. How dare he speak so ill and judge his feelings for Elle. What had they done wrong to deserve it? Nothing, that's what! Kili could care less what Thorin had to say about it. If he couldn't give them his blessing, then so be it.
Never was he going to let go of Elle. She's his One, and they were destined. He came down and looked up to see Elle still in her spot almost like she was ready for sleep. Her eyes were half closed, and she was leaning her head against her sister's shoulder as her sister whispered to her in Spanish. Her eyes soon opened more seeing he had returned.
"Everything ok?" She asked tiredly with a smile.
"Everything is fine." He tried to sound convincing as he came to her side.
Elle saw the others return and noticed the hard glare Kili gave Thorin as the older dwarf gave a quick glance at him as he passed.
"What happened? Kili?"
"It doesn't matter now," he relaxed once he looked back at her and reached forward to move a long lock of hair behind her ear.
"You look very tired. Do you want to get some sleep?"
Elle hummed softly in agreement rubbing one of her eyes like a sleepy child. "Yeah, I'm just falling asleep here. Kili, is it ok if you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone."
"Of course, here let me help you." He gently gathered her in his arms once again bridle style.
Elle was shifted and the stitches pulled against her skin making her hiss at the uncomfortable pressure.
"I so cannot wait to have these stitches out."
"I'm sorry they hurt, it won't be forever."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked around at everyone.
"Goodnight everyone."
"You're not staying?"
Ori looked almost disappointed.
"As much as I enjoy being with everyone again, I would much prefer to be sleeping in a soft bed than the hard ground." She gave an apologetic smile to them all.
"Night lass, hope you feel better in the morning."
Bofur gave a friendly wave, followed by the other's bidding their goodnights to her. Fili than approached them and kept his voice low for his brother.
"Are you coming back?"
"No, I'm going to stay with her." Kili knew his brother was still concerned after what happened before, but he just was too tired to talk about it now.
Elle gave a hopeful glance at Fili. "Is that ok?"
"Of course, I knew he will want to be with you anyway." He then looked back at his brother. "I'll speak with uncle, don't worry about it."
"Good luck."
Kili didn't know what his brother could say to change anything, but he wasn't going to stop him from trying. He departed with Elle in his arms and gave Thorin another hard glare as he made his way up the stairs. Elle wanted to ask what had happened between them both, but that is something she'll ask when they return to her room.
When they were gone, Fili stormed over to Thorin with a scowl upon his face.
"What's with you? How could you say all that to him?!"
"Not now, Fili." Thorin hissed harshly at him, "We'll talk about this in the morning."
He then left the company so he could have some time to himself. Everyone was confused what was going on to cause so much heat between the Durin's.
"What's that all about?" Gloin grunted an everyone agreed.
"Nothing that concerns anyone." Dwalin announced and shot them firm looks.
"Get rest, all of you."
No one dared question anymore and did as told.
Gandalf knew it was going to be a long night for them and chose to leave them to their own devices. He'll speak with Thorin again in the coming days, that much he was certain of.
Bilbo also departed back to his room that he was given as he had already missed the warm bed from his home and wanted to get as much sleep as possible in one before they continue their journey.
Fili exhaled in frustration with the way his uncle was behaving. He never thought of him to dislike Elle, something didn't add up. He wasn't going to get answers tonight though and figured he may as well get some sleep himself. Hopefully things will be clearer in the morning. Chari curled up by Fili, both settling down for the night a little farther from the group than normal.
"What's all that about?" Chari asked, confused.
Fili sighed wrapping an arm around Chari's waist protectively.
"Thorin doesn't approve of Elle and Kee. He basically forbade them from being together. But I know my brother, he's not going to listen to Thorin. Don't worry, he'll come around eventually."
Chari nodded, but turned in Fili's arms so they were facing each other.
"Is that why you don't want to tell anyone? Because you're afraid Thorin won't approve?" Chari asked in a small voice, looking at Fili with a worried look in her eyes.
Fili nodded, hanging his head as if in shame.
Chari noticed, and took his face in her hands, lightly rubbing her fingers against his cheeks.
"Fili, I'm not upset with you. I could never be upset with you for wanting your Uncle's approval. If you want to wait, then we'll wait. I won't push you. I know how much you look up to Thorin. If you think it's best, then we'll wait. I can be patient." Chari said in a soft voice, wishing him to look at her, instead of his hands.
When Fili's eyes finally meet her, Chari could see tears shining in them, though they didn't fall.
"Thank you. I just…. I want to make him proud." Fili said, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"I know you do. And I know he's proud of you. Fili, no matter what happens Thorin will always be proud of you. I see it every time he looks at you." Chari assures, lightly rubbing her fingers over his beard, electing a soft moan from him, nuzzling his head into her hands more.
"Come on, we best go to sleep. We'll have a long day ahead of us."
Chari nods, nuzzling up to his chest, lightly pulling her hands away from his face.
Fili lightly kissed her.
"Goodnight, Amralime. "Fili said, a small smile on his face.
"Goodnight Mi Amor." Chari says, smiling, before turning around, and settling into Fili's chest, before falling into a peaceful sleep.
Khuzdul
1. Amralime - My Love