Beta: Jusobele
CH.21 Not Shakespeare But Close Enough
Quil's Pov
After the meeting I went to the only place that has brought any comfort in the last few months, the cliffs.
My mind was reeling. Bella was having my baby. She was carrying my child. It was part of every dream I ever had about her, only I was not a part of any of it. I could see us smiling down at our dark haired baby, so happy and full of love. How can a dream be a nightmare at the same time?
I had no idea how to make this better. I loved her so much. She was pregnant with my baby and I was not allowed to even see her. This was so fucked up.
I made my way home. I needed to... Hell, I did not know what I needed.
The order said I couldn't see her, couldn't talk to her. Did that mean I couldn't write to her?
Bella's Pov
I did not sleep at all last night. Every time I dozed off, I had nightmares of my baby being taken from my arms. The baby inside me was the reason I breathed. This baby, my baby was what I lived for. I never knew you could love someone you never knew until the stick showed two lines.
My life in California was simple, lonely but simple. I worked, I went to bed, I did it again. It never occurred to me to worry about someone trying to take my child from me.
I never understood the innate desire to protect ones young until now. That old bastard had no idea what I would do to keep my child from him. I pulled myself from my bed, and for the first time in months decided to take a bath.
I lowered my now whale like frame into the water and relished the feeling of the warm water around me. I could feel flutters and kicks inside my swollen belly. I realized the baby must like the water too. I finished my bath and dressed, went downstairs and had some breakfast. I needed to run a few errands before I met with the lawyer.
I grabbed my bag, and jacket, and headed out the door. I turned to lock the front door when a letter taped to the front of the door caught my attention. I knew that handwriting. It was Quil's.
Dear Bella,
There is so much I want to say and cannot.
I swear I did not know what my granddad was doing. I did not even know you were pregnant. I promise you I will not let him or anyone take the baby.
Quil
I didn't know what to think after reading that. There were spots all over the paper like he had been crying when he wrote it.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and got in my car. I stopped at the only store in Forks to pick up a few items I needed. I hadn't packed very much when I left Ca. not knowing how long I would be here.
I stopped by the bookstore to pick up a baby name book, and started driving to Port Angeles to meet with the lawyer. I arrived at 9:50 and took a seat in the lobby.
When my name was called, my nerves were on edge making my stomach roll. "Ms. Swan my name is Mr. Clouseman. It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise," I told him.
"Our offices received a call this morning from a Mr. Lightman. He is the attorney for the Quileute Tribe. He handles all legal aspect the tribe may have. He explained to me that the Chief of the Tribe William Black, along with the petitioner's grandson who is believed to be the father of your unborn child, did not grant Ateara Sr. permission to file a petition on behalf of the Tribe or the child's father. "They expressed their wishes that the petition for custody be dropped," Mr. Clouseman told me.
My stomach was in my throat and I think I stopped breathing. "Does this mean I don't have to go to court, no one's going to take my baby?" I asked.
"That is exactly what this means. The petition is being dropped; therefore a court appearance is not needed. Mr. Lightman and I will file the necessary paperwork and have it filed with the county clerk by this afternoon. My office will send you the copies," he told me. "Ms. Swan you don't need to worry. You're free to enjoy your pregnancy without fear of legal action."
"Thank you," I told him fervently as he helped me to the reception area.
I went to the front desk, checkbook in hand. The receptionist looked at me and smiled. "Ms. Swan your fees have been taken care of. Have a good day."
I drove home in a daze. Relief washed over me like a tidal wave. By the time I pulled into Charlie's driveway, I was almost euphoric. I got out of the car and made it to the door, finding another note in Quil's writing.
Dear Bella,
I am so sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you will feel better knowing you do not have to worry about my granddad anymore.
Are you... Are you okay? Is the baby okay? I don't know if I have the right to know after hurting you, but when will you have the baby?
I hope you are doing ok.
Quil
I didn't understand. His words sounded like he cared, but if he cared why did he leave me?
I made my way to the couch needing a nap. My body and mind were exhausted. I woke up a few hours later, rested but still tired. I ordered some take-out, still not having made it to the grocery store. I inhaled it. I didn't realize how hungry I was.
I didn't know if Quil would be leaving any more notes on my door but just in case he did, I thought I would have one of my own waiting for him.
Dear Quil,
Thank you for dropping the case. I do not know what to say. I don't understand what happened. I thought you loved me. What did I do wrong?
The baby is due Feb.5
Bella
I went to bed after I taped the note to the door.
I woke having slept better than the night before, but I had been dreaming of Quil which always made me sad. I wanted to race to the door, but I didn't want to get my hopes up either. I should not care, he left me, but I love him. I took another bath, and enjoyed the fact that this baby seemed to love water. Maybe he/she would be a swimmer.
I got dressed foregoing my usual sweats. Everyone knew now anyway. There was no sense in hiding my bump. Not that I hid it very well in the first place. I ate a pop tart, and decided to check the door.
There, taped to my front door, was another note from Quil. I tried telling myself to take it for what it was, a piece of paper. My heart betrayed me and skipped.
Dear Bella,
You did not do anything wrong. Please don't think that. I did love you... I do love you.
It's complicated. I wish I could tell you, but I truly cannot.
Would you allow my mom to see you? It's ok if you don't want to, it is your choice.
Thank you for telling me when the baby would be here.…
Quil
I was more confused now than before. He said he loved me. How could he love me and not want to be with me? I should never have opened that first note. This hurt too much.
I needed to go shopping, even if I hated it. I headed to Port Angeles for the second time in a row. At least this time I was not fearful someone was going to take my baby from me. I made my way to the dreadful mall, and bought a few outfits and under things. My breasts were triple their size and I was outgrowing my bras faster than McDonalds sold French fries. Mmm, French fries sounded good, and a chocolate shake.
I headed to the food court, bought my snacks and found a table to sit at. I was eating in peace until I heard Jessica. Dear God why do you hate me? I wondered. Oh, and for an extra bonus, Lauren was with her.
"Hey Bella!" Jessica said.
"Hi Jess, Lauren," I greeted as politely as I could, because I knew what was coming.
"So you're knocked up, huh?"Lauren sneered gleefully.
"I'm pregnant yes," I answered, standing up to dump my tray.
"Whoa, you got fat," Lauren said.
I just looked at her. How could one person be so nasty? "I see you didn't get any smarter. I'm pregnant you nitwit not fat," I told her, walking off.
I headed to my car. I could only take so much shopping. The drive back to Forks was not too bad. I stopped at the hospital to visit Charlie. After a few hours, I went home to relax. Or try to, at least.
As soon as I pulled up, I saw a new note on the door. I pulled it from the door and stepped inside. I made a cup of hot tea and sat at the table staring at Quil's writing. Debating on whether to read it or not. Who am I kidding, I thought as I opened it.
Dear Bella,
Will you tell me about the baby? If you're ok, if the baby is healthy?
Do you need anything?
Quil
Quil's Pov
Her scent lingered at the door as I taped the note to it. I inhaled so deeply I thought my lungs would burst. I missed her strawberry scent. I didn't know if she would write me back or not, but I had to try something. This was killing me.
I hoped she would believe me when I told her I didn't know about granddad. She didn't have any reason to though. I hurt her.
I wanted to tell her how much I missed her, and loved her and dreamed of holding her. But that would just make everything worse than it already was. How did it come to this? I was leaving a note on the door of the woman I loved and wanted to marry, who was pregnant with my child, and I was not allowed to see her.
I found myself behind her house again, trying to capture her scent. I couldn't hear her inside so I knew she was gone, probably to meet her lawyer. I made my way to the front of the house and saw that she had found the note I left.
I left another in its place.
I waited until late to go back, just in case she left me one. When I saw the paper taped to the door, my heart sped up so fast I wondered if werewolves could have heart attacks. I pulled the note down and ran home, slipping into my room to read it. It held a faint trace of strawberry and salt. I knew she had been crying when she wrote it. My heart broke with that thought.
Dear Quil,
Thank you. I don't know what to say. I don't understand what happened. I thought you loved me. What did I do wrong?
The baby is due Feb.5
Bella
She thought she did something wrong. She was perfect. Maybe a Valentine's baby. My heart soared with the thought and then broke. I didn't know if I would be there to welcome him or her into the world.
Bella's Pov
It had been two weeks since the first note appeared on my door. He had left one every day since, sometimes two in one day. In his letters, it was clear he loved me, but I still didn't know why he broke up with me. He always asked how I was, how the baby was. If I needed anything. I always told him no. What I needed he could not give me.
I needed him.
Quil's Pov
I didn't think I could take much more. The need to see Bella was making me crazy. Each time I stood on her step leaving a letter or picking up my own, it got harder not to open her door and hold her close. Sometimes I could hear her say my name in her sleep. It made my heart both race and shatter at the same time.
I didn't understand how fate would let me love someone so completely only to say screw you, you cannot have her.
I wrote that I still loved her, but it was not really the truth. I never stopped. I loved her more with each passing day and I thought I was going to go fucking crazy if I didn't see her, feel her, breathe her.
Dear Bella,
My mom will pick you up at 8:00. Thank you for agreeing to see her.
I miss you.
Quil
Kate Ateara's Pov
I could not stand this anymore. Both Bella and Quil were suffering. I had not seen Bella but I knew enough people around Forks that word got to me. I didn't know what the right thing was anymore. Was there such a thing as right and wrong when you were dealing with werewolves, vampires and imprinting.
I did know that Quil loved Bella, and she loved him and they were having a baby.
I knew there were notes going back and forth, and I could see Quil battling himself constantly. He wanted desperately to see her, but was trying to do what was right. The only problem was, none of us knew what that was.
I arrived to pick up Bella, feeling nervous myself. This was the girl I thought was going to be my daughter and she was carrying my first grandchild. When she opened the door she took my breath away. I noticed she held a sad look to her face even with her semi fake smile, but also that she had a pregnancy glow. Seeing her made me even surer of my plan.
"Hi Bella, you look wonderful," I told her.
"Thank you ... Mrs. …"
"Bella, it's still Kate," I interrupted her, smiling. "May I?" I asked, gesturing my hands to her belly.
"Sure," she said.
I put my hands on her swollen stomach and the moment I made contact, I could feel the flutters of my son's child. It brought tears to my eyes. "Wow," was all I could say.
"Are you ready? I thought we could head into Port Angeles maybe do some baby shopping," I told her. I decided the drive would be long enough to tell her about the pack. When we finally pulled into the mall, Bella was quiet.
"Bella are you ok?" I asked.
"Yeah, it's just a lot to take in. Though considering vampires are real I'm not shocked," she said. "I don't know what's worse. Thinking he didn't love and broke up with me or knowing he does and still had to break up with me."
"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know," I told her honestly. We sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, I suggested, "Let's shop."
After I had dragged Bella through as many stores as I could without her fainting, it was time to head back. "Ready, Sweetheart?" I asked.
"Yes, thank god," she said laughing.
"Alright I just have to make a quick stop, and then we'll head home ok?" I told her.
Thomas Arteara's Pov
My son was a shell of the man he used to be. I hated seeing him hurting. I hated knowing how badly he wanted to be with Bella and their baby and yet he was stuck. Wow, my son was going to be a father. That was a strange feeling.
I remembered how excited I was when Kate told me we were expecting. I could not imagine how sad Quil must be, not getting to experience any of the first time parenting rituals he and Bella should be having. When he broke down after finding out about the baby, I nearly lost it myself.
We'd known he wanted to marry her, but after he phased and she left he kept to himself. We knew he thought of the life they were robbed of, but hearing him speaking to himself out loud made me aware of just how much he had wanted all the things he was now missing out on.
Fathers were supposed to be able to fix anything. I couldn't fix this for him and I knew he was feeling like he couldn't fix this for his child. It was gut wrenching.
When Kate told me her plan, I was torn between thinking she was the smartest woman alive and waiting for this to blow up. She had never steered me wrong in 23 years of marriage, so I would follow her lead.
"Quil are you done?" I yelled.
"Yeah, just a second," he said, cramming the last burger in his mouth.
"All right, I just have to make a quick stop, and then we will head home."
Billy's house- Sam's Pov
The pack had gathered at Billy's and we were having a BBQ. Everyone was there Kate and Thomas was supposed to be coming with Quil so we could start discussing what to do with Old Quil.
We were all talking and eating when Kate and Thomas walked into the yard. "Kate, Thomas," I greeted.
"Hey Sam," Kate said.
"Where's Quil?" I asked.
"He won't be joining us, today or for the next few days," she said getting everyone's attention.
"Is everything ok?" I asked.
"I hope so," she told me. "Sam, Billy, everyone listen. I know Billy you are chief of the tribe and you Sam are the Alpha of the pack. But I am Quil's mother and that trumps either of you all day, every day.
"I dropped Bella off in Port Angeles and Thomas dropped Quil off as well. They will either figure this out or they won't, but either way they will do it without interference from anyone."