Chapter 21
Boxing
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The wide berth Proudfoot had been giving Tonks was gone. A few weeks and he was back to his usual stalking. Stalking was the wrong word Tonks thought. Stalking implied a need or desire to follow pretty but it seems Proudfoot had definitely lost his edge when it came to trailing her and definitely any kind of pleasure in his task. These days he was sluggish and showed Tonks every bit of contempt he could muster even when she was doing exactly what Bramberger wanted. It was dawning on Proudfoot that Tonks was seriously cramping his style. But despite how much he hated his duties, he never let up.
That morning he was at the window of the Three Broomsticks, basically with a nose pressed to the glass, trying to watch Tonks as she ate her breakfast. She had taken to just ignoring him but a great number of the guests at the restaurant couldn't seem to. A few women looked as though they had come upon the greatest scandal of the times as he peered in on them.
But something else was catching their attention and of course it had to do with Tonks. Any kind of disturbance seemed to spring somehow from her. A graying wizard entered the Three Broomsticks and as he pushed open the door, a large owl swooped in and landed at Tonks' side. He carried with him a parchment and eagerly gave it over to Tonks.
It was the one bit of excitement she had gotten all day. The note was from Dumbledore—addressing the fact he would be leaving the castle again tonight and was in need of Tonks to patrol the halls.
Thank God, Tonks thought, Anything is better is this.
She casually looked up at Proudfoot who was not involved with something wretched under his nail. Tonks seriously considered Disapparting then but figured if there was one thing Proudfoot liked more than doing his duty, it was ratting her out. She could leave in a puff and he would just as easily be gone to the Ministry and at Bramberger's side.
The Hogwarts owl was now pecking at Tonks' hand. She gave it a curious look and then remembered that despite the fact that this was her job and she could hardly refuse an order, Dumbledore still always allowed Tonks to send an owl in acceptance of his invitation or declining it. More than anything Tonks wanted to get out of Hogsmeade so she quickly darted to the bar to borrow a quill, scratched out a boom yes on the extra piece of parchment and sent the owl away with it. Tonks glanced at the window and had a chuckle to herself at the thought of Proudfoot's face when he found out she'd be out his precious sight again. Or maybe he'd be relieved. In all other past experiences it had taken nothing less than a written statement from Dumbledore to get Proudfoot to relieve Tonks of her duties. She stared down at the headmaster's letter still in her hands and took special note his usual perfect signature. Proudfoot couldn't argue this. He'd have to let her go.
Tonks quickly paid her bill and then proceeded to head towards the door. Upon reaching the outside she noticed that Proudfoot was taking no care to hide the fact he was watching her so she took this an invitation and approached him with Dumbledore's letter, "I've got special orders," she said, handing Proudfoot the parchment, "The headmaster wants me up at the school. Paroling and stuff I expect."
"Alright," was all he said. He barely glanced at the note Tonks had and in fact was back to picking at something under his nails.
"That's okay?" Tonks asked, "I can go? I mean…I'm going whether you want me to or not…but you're not going to put up a stink about it?"
Shaking his head Proudfoot said, "I suspect not."
"Well, that's…different," Tonks managed a smile, "It's getting harder to trail me, huh?"
"No. That's not it. I just came to the realization you're not the bad guy after all, Tonks."
"What do you mean by that?"
"They caught the creep that did the murders. Geneieve. You know? Bu that wolf…that…what's his name? Bessie. Beau Bessie. The one who was on trial. They executed him."
The world suddenly came to great halt, "What?" Tonks stared, wide eyed at Proudfoot, "They…they killed him?"
He nodded, "Yeah. Just like that. Bramberger just wanted something. Azkaban can't house a werewolf so they killed him a few months ago…before the next full moon came out. Can't say how they did it mind you. I suspect just the killing curse. Painless I expect but still…there you go."
"I can't…I can't believe it."
Again Proudfoot was busy digging at something in his nail. He was aloof now—betrayed apparently by the men he had fought to protect. He had nothing more to say to Tonks after that and for the first time in months he just walked away and let Tonks be.
Her feet felt particularly heavy as Tonks trudged up the hill again to Hogwarts. She knew this whole thing had had nothing to do with justice or the truth. Scrimgeour and Bramberger had just been looking at how to get wolves off the streets. Maybe they had their own reasons and had seen the damage that werewolves could do but now they were forced to see just how much hurt their vendetta could do. Of course to them, what was Beau's life? By the time Tonks had reached the enchanted gates surrounding Hogwarts, she had a very horrible headache.
An Auror appeared from the other side of the gates and after a few questions and tests allowed Tonks inside. The first thing Tonks figured she would do was to go see Dumbledore as was usually the case. Even in the summer sunshine Tonks felt heavy and her appearance caught a few people's attention.
"Why the long face?" she heard someone call out. She spun to see a very cheery looking Bill and and equally cheery Fleur walking hand in hand towards her.
Tonks shook her head, "Oh…hi. Nothing is wrong. Just…just tired I guess. What are you two doing here?"
"We are 'ere to 'elp protect ze students too!" Fleur squealed, "Es so exciting."
Tonks eyed the pair of them, "Me too. Is Dumbledore in?"
"No," Bill said, "He's been in and out. Just got called in this morning."
"Must be pretty serious. Something must be wrong," Tonks stared around at the open corridor they were in. The sun was streaming in from the windows and the air felt warm and tasted sweet. Everything felt like a storybook day—not a fearful thing to be seen.
"Yes. I suspect so," Bill answered.
The moment the conversation turned from anything professional, Tonks knew she had to get out of there for Fleur was just fawning over her fiancée who was equally fawning over her. The two were cute of course but to the point of gagginess with Fleur constantly running her hands through Bill's hair and Bill continually talking about how cute his "little cherry blossom" was. Tonks tried to tell herself they weren't rubbing their cuteness in her face but that didn't stop her from quickly excusing herself from their presence and feeling no shame about avoiding them for the rest of the day.
If there was something amiss that Dumbledore was fearful about, Tonks couldn't see it. She spent the whole day just paroling the east side of the school as she was told Bill and Fleur would be on the west side. A fight broke out between a few students and at one point a fire mysteriously caught but Tonks knew a Zonko's product when she saw it so she wasn't too worried. Aside from that, nothing of importance happened. Around dinner the students began to file past her towards the kitchen and it wasn't long before she caught sight of familiar faces.
Ginny and Hermione were the first to approach her, both asking why there was all the new protection.
"I've seen it everywhere!" Ginny exclaimed, "Something is happening, isn't it?"
"Honestly, I have no idea. I haven't caught so much as a whiff of a Death Eater—just some poorly behaved Slytherin students," Tonks sighed, "I don't know why Dumbledore wants us here."
A very sullen looking Dean Thomas approached the trio then and Ginny (looking exasperated) followed him out to the main hall. That gave Hermione and Tonks a brief moment to themselves.
"How are things with you and…Ron?" Tonks smiled.
Shrugging Hermione said, "Same as always I guess. He and Lavender broke up so…well, that…well he won't be such a slob anymore," she eyed the people passing by nervously as she quickly changed the subject, "How about you and…Remus?"
Likewise Tonks shrugged, "I haven't seen him since Christmas. I just…I just hope he's okay."
At that Hermione gave a queer look, "Well he's here you know."
"What?"
"Yes. He's been up by the Gryffindor room. That's where I've seen him. I think he was looking for Harry but…Harry has his own ideas and is never around. Oh, yes, Tonks, Remus is here now. I don't know why."
"How…how does he look? Did you talk to him?"
"I said hello and he said hello back and he asked me how my year was going and I told him fine and that was basically it. He looked tired mostly. But he seemed in good spirits."
Another wave of students came and Hermione was taken away with them. the two had probably said all they needed to say and what Hermione had left Tonks left her both happier than before and completely inconsolable. Of course Tonks' first response to this was to search the castle (however big it was) until she found Remus. To know he was alright , safe and apparently in good spirits filled Tonks with some kind of light and fluffy air. She thought she might float right off the ground as she began to walk, just trying to get away from the congestion of hungry students. To see him again was a happier thought than she'd had in a long time—to see that crooked smile and blue eyes—dark blue eyes. Like poetry. Maybe to hold him. That curvature of his body fit perfectly with hers. The feel of his hair entangled in her fingers. It was tempting and it took all of Tonks' energy not to go running off to find him because it was then that she thought about Remus and their last encounter. He'd pry her off if she tried to attack him with hugs or kisses. He'd talk about monsters and the like. What good came from seeing him if she couldn't hold him like she'd like to? To see him was wonderful but thoughts flooded Tonks mind. He was safe. He was home. Everything should be fine. But still Tonks hair wasn't changing colors. She practiced everyday and tried with all her might to get even just a shade difference in hair color. Still there was nothing. Tonks was beginning to think her desires were less selfless than she had originally thought. Perhaps she would never be totally happy unless he would be her lover again.
With feet like lead now she took herself up and around the far north end of Hogwarts and found herself just pacing. In the end she decided to retreat back to the main hall where at least she could do some good while protecting the students. Slowly the hour went on the children pulled themselves from their Sheppard's pie and made their way up to their dormitories. Tonks caught sight of Hermione but they said nothing to one another—Tonks was pleased at least to note that closely at Hermione's side was Ron, talking and still chewing happily on a last hunk of chocolate cake. Slowly the halls cleared out and all was silent again. Professor Sprout appeared at one point and ushered Tonks into the main hall so that she could have some dinner. It hadn't dawned on her that she hadn't eaten since breakfast. Tonks quickly ate some beef stew and mashed potatoes while dear old Sprout went on about how weary the poor girl was looking. She thanked her old teacher and then made her way back out and up a few flights.
The evening went on rather dully but after a great while absentmindedly (or purposefully) Tonks found herself on the seventh floor. She hadn't meant to walk by the Gryffindor's portrait hole but she did and found no one there. Again she felt both relief and horrible disappointment all in one moment.
Another hour passed and nothing had stirred. Tonks knew she had to move elsewhere and couldn't stay on the seventh floor but time and time again she found her feet moving up the stairs and to the portrait hole. She even stopped and just waited for a while thinking maybe Remus would show up again. But the Fat Lady was in a rather foul mood was shooed Tonks off before long so she just kept walking in one giant circle away from the portrait hole and then back again.
During one of these jaunts she came upon an old, familiar face. Muttering to herself and wielding a bottle (which was sure to be cooking sherry) Tonks found good old Professor Trelawney. It had been years since Tonks had taken a class with her but it seemed the woman hadn't changed. She still had the air of a butterfly that had been kept out of sun for a great time—big and flamboyant but with delicate, pale skin that was in definite need of sunlight. It seemed Trelawney didn't even register another person was there but simply kept walking on past Tonks, whispering something under her breath and ripping the label off her bottle.
Tonks was almost in the clear when suddenly Trelawney spoke up, "The sun and moon!" she shouted.
Spinning to meet her eyes, Tonks found Trelawney had her back to her and was now shaking. She repeated herself, "The sun and the moon!"
"I'm sorry? Professor?"
It was then that the big eyes turned and met Tonks' gaze—her voice never shook though her body trembled like a leaf in the wind, "The sun and the moon, my dear," Trelawney said once more, "Within a year's time, the moon will have his sun."
As if such saying a thing wasn't odd enough, Trelawney suddenly stopped shaking, turned away from Tonks and carried on walking as if nothing had happened. Tonks could help but laugh and made no effort to stifle it.
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Another hour passed and still nothing was out of the ordinary. Aside from the occasional run in with Fleur and Bill (of which Tonks always scurried away from as quickly as possible) the castle was dead. Tonks found herself bored which was saying something considering it was Hogwarts. She had made her way to the second floor when again Tonks caught sight of someone she knew and this someone (thankfully) was neither drunk nor annoyingly in love. It was Moody of call people. He gave an approving nod to Tonks and began to walk with her. They spoke very little but the company was better than being alone. Both of them were hypothesizing why Dumbledore wanted all this protection on this night and really getting nowhere in the discussion. Around that time was when the explosion happened.
The force was so fierce that it threw the two apart—Tonks flew back and found herself slapped up against the stone walls. She slid to the floor and tried to pick herself up, feeling her forehead where a trickle of flood had begun to flow. In the half of a second that she had been out of it the entire corridor was filled with a dense smoke. Try as she might, Tonks couldn't see two feet in front of her. She drew her wand but no lumos charm would cut through it.
"Moody!" she yelled.
A spell fired towards her and Tonks threw herself at the ground again. She tried to call out to Moody but was forced head first into battle with this unnamed person before her. She threw out spell after spell, ducking behind pieces of furniture and helplessly groping the wall as something that could ground her. Green lights sizzled the grayed air and Tonks knew this person was out for a kill—she continued to throw spells blindly into the air and ceased only when the return fire had stopped. Again she called for her mentor and again he gave no answer. Tonks slid to the floor again and crawled on her knees through the fog, chucking aside pieces of chairs that had gotten in the way of the battle—soon she even came up on broken glass and had to pick herself up to avoid getting cut. When Tonks could find no body of her attacker, she decided to move deeper into the corridor rather than attempting to search any more. A few yards deeper in and the smoke began to clear. She rose to her feet and stared at the fog that was encompassing the hallway before immediately sending a Patronus to Sprout. Tonks knew for a fact that she was around but as for the other teachers, she could be sure. In its usual dramatic fashion, Tonks' Patronus bayed at an unseen moon and then quickly disappeared into the smoke.
"That was very weird," Tonks whispered to herself, "Where the hell did that-"
Another explosion broke out. Tonks was thrown against the wall again as more blood began to run. She kept her eyes open long enough to see the fog roll into this section of the hallway too. Thankfully, though, she heard footsteps and shouts. More spells were fired and the definite crisp yell of Moody was heard. Unsure of where the enemy or the ally lay, Tonks just kept herself pressed against the wall and waited a great while for the spells to cease. Another huff and curse from Moody told her that they had won this round.
"Moody!" she shouted into the blankness.
"Will you shut up?" he yelled back, "Break up into teams now!" he turned his attention back to the group—apparently there was a group, "Red team heads to the seventh floor! Blue, you're to the dungeons!"
The sounds of more footsteps filled the air as Tonks spoke up, walking blindly into the fog, "Wait! What…? Teams? When did that happen? What team am I on?"
"You're with me!" Tonks heard Kingsley call towards her right. She fumbled towards the sound of his voice, tripping on another piece of broken furniture. As she picked herself back up, a body came into focus but Tonks didn't have enough skill to keep herself from tripping over another hunk of chair and she slammed right into the person's side.
"Sorry!" she shrieked as she moved past the body, catching the person's eye and then freezing in her tracks.
Remus.
With the fog surrounding them, it felt like they were in their own little world—sounds of grunts and arguing could be heard but nothing was seen. Against the white backdrop, all Tonks knew was before her was Remus. She didn't know what to say and he appeared to be just as lost for words as she. He looked good. He looked better than he had looked at Christmas—clean shaven, well fed and like his usual self. Tonks thought for a moment she could stand there all night and look at him—to make up for all the lost time—but all too soon there was a hand enclosing around her wrist and Kingsley was pulling her deeper into the fog, away from Remus. He never turned his back to her but kept watching her disappear until she was really gone.
Apparently they were coming in from all over—no one had a clue how the Death Eaters were getting in. Moody and his group were leading students down to the dungeon while Kingsley was taking his to the seventh corridor where a group had last been seen before the attack on the second floor. Tonks stumbled up the step, numb from the two blows she had just sustained in the past five minutes and the shocking sight of Remus just now. Her hands and feet felt so weird that she had to climb the stairs on her hands just to be sure she wouldn't fall right off of them. She fell behind and was in the end running to catch up with the group when a third attack went off.
The fog fell over the Aurors again and blindly everyone began throwing spells at each other. Tonks caught sight of a black cape and aimed for that—trying her best to remember if anyone in her group had been wearing black. Kingsley was in blue. That much she knew. And Remus was in his usual brown. Tonks had to stop herself—who cares what color Remus was wearing? He was down in the dungeons now, directing students. She knew she had to focus on killing Death Eaters right now and save anything else for later.
Right as she was recovering was when Bellatrix came upon Tonks. It was a quick attack and very Muggle for Bellatrix for out of nowhere she was flying at her niece and punching her in the face. She punched so hard that the blood began to gush from Tonks' mouth—she lifted her hand to her face, sure that she had just lost a tooth. Before Bellatrix could disappear, though, Tonks had enough of a chance to aim her wand at the back of her head and set fire to it. The last Tonks saw of Bellatrix was a few black tips of hair, singeing under the heat of orange flames.
Another Death Eater came upon her and Tonks quickly took him down but after that the fog became too thick to see much more. She could again no longer tell who was friend and who was foe so Tonks merely fell to the floor and wound her way towards a wall, taking out anyone wearing boots she didn't recognize. Tonks stayed against the wall again, concealed quite well, until again the firing stopped. She listened and thankfully heard Kingsley sigh. They had won again. He began moving the troops out towards the north to where he thought the fog would lift. All the Aurors followed the sound of Kingsley's voice but to their great dismay, the battle was far from over.
Every few feet or so another explosion went off, another round of Death Eater attacks came and the blindness only continued. Tonks' head was throbbing—quickly emptying itself of blood—but she kept getting up and taking out anyone she could. She and Fleur stopped just in time before they could take one another out.
As she was lowering her wand, Fleur threw out, "Forgive me. I'm being stupid. You should be easier to pick out in a crowd than that."
Tonks nodded, "Same to you."
Time and time again, Tonks was finding herself pressed against a wall—either flung there or hanging on for dear life while an unseen war went on before her. Occasionally someone stumbled upon her and attempted to take her out but even with a low humming in her ears and blood in her eyes, Tonks could see them coming.
The battled raged on. Maybe an hour had gone by since the first explosion and still Tonks sat perched against another wall, firing spells at someone she wasn't quite sure was the bad guy. Again the sounds died out and again Tonks waited for Kingsley's order to move forward. She sighed, cursed under her breath and followed the sound of his voice to another battle.
But this time there was no battle. They marched on for a good part of the hallway without so much as a whisper from anyone. Immediately though, Kingsley was ordering everyone to retreat. As soon as they turned and ran with all their might back into the fog, the spells began to fire again. But Kingsley ordered everyone to keep going so they went, stumbling through pieces of crumbled wall and smashed chairs—tripping on everything that got in the way of their feet. Tonks fell on her face more than once and someone had to pick her up more than once. Still the troops sprinted through the dark with green and red spells licking at the heels of their boots. They came to the stairs again and were ordered down them—Tonks tumbled most of the way down and was thankfully picked up by Kingsley who pushed her forward and marched her towards the great hall.
It was no better here, though. Death Eaters (including Bellatrix) were dancing across the tables, smashing plates and burning large holes in any portraits that hung nearby. Bellatrix seemed to be doing the most dancing on Hufflepuff's table and Tonks had a feeling her aunt knew she was watching. But still Kingsley was pushing them on. He must have thought that Tonks was of no use to him in her wound up and beat up condition. He and a few other troops marched into the great hall but told Tonks to wait there for Moody. It was the worst possible direction to give anyone Tonks thought. There was a battle going on right under their noses and Kingsley expected her to wait there like a good girl? But when she tried to take a step and found her knees wouldn't hold her, she began to see Kingsley's logic. Her poor nerves didn't stop her from taking out a Death Eater or two when they ran by though.
In a flash the doors to the great hall opened and out scampered more Death Eaters—Bellatrix along with them, laughing manically. Kingsley and his troops ushered them as far as out the door but didn't follow. When he caught Tonks' confused expression he merely said, "They're on the retreat. No use in chasing them."
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McGonagall was crying. Tonks figured it had less to do with Bill and more to do with the state of her school. The walls were missing huge hunks of stone and some paintings had been damaged beyond repair. Where once the place had been sweet and welcoming, now it looked like a death hole.
She walked into the hospital wing, sobbing, took one look around and left.
Tonks couldn't blame her exactly. Her eyes fell on the far bed where a very beaten up Bill lay. Madam Pomfrey was busy attending to his wounds though to Tonks, she didn't know what she could do. No matter what the nurse put on the wounds, they continued to sprout open, bleeding fresh again. The best she could was wrap them delicately and hope for the bleeding to stop. She then turned her attention to Tonks, "Oh dear. You look…well…what happened?"
Kingsley had sent Tonks up here as soon as he had assured her the Death Eaters were leaving but that had been a while ago and still no one else was in the hospital wing. Surely someone else beside Bill and Tonks had sustained injuries.
"Just part of the job," Tonks said to Pomfrey.
The nurse began wiping some cream on Tonks' wounds and (unlike Bill's) they cleared up easily. She assessed the damage done to Tonks' skull and concluded nothing permanent had taken place. Thankfully Pomfrey had Tonks open her mouth and wiped that clean too before pulling out her wand and regrowing the two chipped teeth Bellatrix had given Tonks.
"Just rest now," she said as she hurried off to Bill again.
But how was Tonks supposed to rest? She didn't hear any more battling going on but no one was joining her here? Were some beyond Pomfrey's care? Shaking her head, Tonks decided she didn't want to think about it. Instead she laid back on the cot and tried her best to rest but no amount of coaxing seemed to do the trick. Luckily about then the door opened and a hoard of people rushed in—none of them appeared too beat up but all were anxiously making their way towards Bill.
"Oh god," someone said. Tonks recognized that voice as Hermione's.
"What happened?" another spoke up—this one, Ginny.
"Greyback," someone whispered. At first it didn't register but when it did Tonks was sitting up and staring across the room at Remus as he too looked sadly at Bill, sprawled out on his cot.
The door opened again and McGonagall entered now with Harry in tow. Immediately Harry went with the group and stared at the horrid scars all over Bill.
"Greyback," Remus repeated himself, "He was attacked. I can't say…I don't know what will happen to him." He turned then, as if to get the image of Bill's mutilated body out of his mind and his eyes fell on Tonks, bandaged up now but still bloodied.
To her great relief he didn't ignore her but instead came right to her side, "Are you alright?" he whispered."
"All part of the job," Tonks shrugged.
McGonagall gave another sniffle and everyone looked to her—it was not common to see her cry once let alone twice. Still there she stood, the great Professor McGonagall in tears. She spoke up then, saying something that silenced any chatter, "Dumbledore is dead."
The only one who didn't turn in complete shock was Harry—apparently he had been there—as he began to relay a story involving the astronomy tower, Severus Snape and the body of Albus Dumbledore. Questions began flying everywhere and guilt was thrown every which way as well. Anyone who had remotely been involved seemed to be taking up blame for the death of Albus Dumbledore was something that didn't just happen. It required a heavy amount of unforeseen planning and lots of mistakes. It shook everyone. It couldn't be true. McGonagall was crying into her handkerchief again and the whole room seemed to go stagnant.
Tonks opened her mouth to say more but just then the doors burst open again and Molly and Arthur came scurrying in. Almost immediately Remus removed himself from Tonks' side.
"Oh! My boy! My sweet boy!" Molly rushed to Bill's side while Arthur stood at a distance, eyeing his son nervously. He then turned to Remus, "He was attacked by Greyback. We heard. What…what is going to happen, Remus?
"I don't know. I've never seen anything like this before. He could be fine…he could…he could be…be infected. I don't know."
"But Greyback wasn't in wolf form," Arthur tried to steady his voice.
"No, he wasn't. But maybe the bite still does the same damage."
Molly tried her best to hold her composure as she helped Pomfrey spread some heavy cream all across Bill's face. Her voice caught though as she looked at him and said, "My poor boy. Just look…just look at him. Will he be alright? I don't mean a werewolf. I mean will he live?"
"I believe so," Pomfrey sighed.
Taking Bill's hand, Molly continued to just stare lovingly at him, "My sweet boy. Oh, my sweet Bill. And he…he was going to get married."
"What do you mean WAS going to get married?"
All the silence left the room as Fleur marched her way into the hospital just then, taking a very definite place in front of Pomfrey and staring Molly down across the bed. She ripped the bowl of medication out of her hands and said hotly, "Do you think that I don't want to marry Bill now? Is that what you think? You think just a few bites and I'm going to run away? You are seriously mistaken! Do you think it would take more than a little werewolf to make Bill stop loving me? Hah! I think I am good looking enough for the two of us! Those scars are nothing! They only show that my husband is brave!"
It all had come out of nowhere—both Fleur and her sudden defiant speech. Eye brows couldn't help but rise and a few odd looks were exchanged. The only people who seemed to be taking any of this seriously were Fleur (who looked livid) and Molly (who looked on the brink of tears). And then there was Tonks who was eyeing Fleur curiously. For someone who had put curling her hair five steps above eating, Fleur was certainly standing in a different light now. Bill had always been good looking so it was obvious why Fleur had chosen him—but now here he was with scars across his face and all the good looks hidden away beneath horrid gashes—and Fleur still wanted him. On top of that there was the chance that he had caught lycanthropy and still there was Fleur. The stupid, giggling girl Tonks had seen dreamily running her hands through Bill's hair seemed so far away.
Before Tonks could get any words out both Molly and Fleur had collapsed into a fit a tears and hugging. She blinked and apparently mother and daughter-in-law had bonded for life. Her mouth was dry but Tonks pushed through and said, "You…you want to marry him? Even though he's been bit by a werewolf?"
Immediately she saw Remus' body tense but Fleur wasn't sensing it. She looked straight at Tonks, looking still quite angry and said, "Of course! What kind of girl do you think I am?"
Before she could stop herself Tonks turned to Remus, "You see?" She yelled, "She wants to be with him even though he's been bitten!"
His face went bright red and his eyes glanced around at the people staring at him before hitting the floor, "I…it's not the same."
"How is it not the same?"
"Bill probably won't be a full-fledged werewolf. He'll be…a normal-"
"But I don't care! I've told you a million times!"
Tonks was standing now and moving towards Remus with more force than she thought she could muster. She knew she was being selfish—knew how fidgety he got when put on the spot like that but to see the exact same thing as she and Remus had happen before their eyes perfectly while they were going under was too much. It wasn't enough anymore to watch him and pray for Remus' safety from afar. Tonks loved him. She had loved him for a long time now. She wanted nothing more than him. But still he was fighting.
"And I've told you a million times!" Remus said pointedly, "I'm too old…too poor…and too dangerous."
Prying herself away from Fleur, Molly jumped in then, "I've always said you're being rather ridiculous about this whole thing, Remus-"
He spun around again, feeling completely off. Crowds were not his thing. People looking at him was not his thing. Still he pushed on, "I'm not being ridiculous about this!" and he turned to look at Tonks again with something that had gone missing for some time now—a soft, almost longing look buried deep within the blue eyes, "Tonks deserves someone young and whole."
Her stomach quivered in a fit of anger or possibly it was doing back flips under Remus' gaze—Tonks couldn't tell.
"But she wants you!" Molly pushed before looking back at her son, "And besides young and whole boys do not always remain so."
A few people were trying to not look at Remus—particularly the boys who felt awkward beyond belief. Hermione though stood in the back with a ragged smile on her face.
"This is not the time to discuss this," Remus said, "Dumbledore has just died!"
To make Remus feel even more uncomfortable McGonagall was stepping in now, "Dumbledore would have been happier than anyone to know there was a little more love in the world."
Breathing heavily and feeling a trickle of sweat starting to run down her neck, Tonks suddenly felt for Remus. She reached her hand out to take hold of his, wishing it hadn't gone like this—his eyes on the floor and a distinct look of anger on his face. She never managed to take Remus' hand before again the doors of the hospital were opened and Hagrid was entering. The whole room jumped at his sudden appearance and the quiet took over again. Before much more could be said Moody was gathering his shaken up troops and barking out orders.
"We need a lock down on all the houses. Kingsley, you take Slytherin. Barkby, you take Ravenclaw. Lupin, Gryffindor. Tonks, Hufflepuff. Get going and don't let any student out of their dormitory."
Suddenly Tonks face was hot and red—her outburst had done nothing. Moody was back to his usual self, paying no attention to her and people were already at the door, eager to get out and do their duty. At the front of the pack was Remus.
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But the little knight goes on. Through the terrors of the night and excruciating full moons. Through it all, the little knight goes on because he knows there must be something better for him than the harsh words of the people throwing stones at him. He knows he is better than that and he can do good. He must do good because the little knight knows that's all he's good for. No one wants a knight that does ill. That's an oxymoron for warriors are to be fearless but so that they protect the weak and uphold all that is good. An evil knight doesn't make sense. A selfish knight doesn't make sense.
But on this particular night, alone in a castle, the knight was crying—leaning up against the stone walls of a common room that once belonged to him and crying.
Remus tried to brush the tears away but it was useless—twenty more followed for each he rubbed off. It didn't make sense. Why of all the people in the world was he damned to a fleeting and unattainable happiness? What made the sickening thing worse is that Remus wished now more than ever he had never tasted such happiness. Had the stupid knight not been so honest and felt he had to be so noble, he would have just left with no letter and no trace of infatuation to be found. Perhaps thoughts about love would have never entered Tonks' mind and she'd be happy now. But instead she was crying and Remus was all alone…again.
But the little knight goes on.
But to what? Remus thought then. What's the use?
::::
Somewhere there were birds that were singing. All the paintings surrounding the great hall had been in some way destroyed but it seemed somehow some little song bird managed to sneak into the curled up corners of a picture and sing. Trapped in their tattered pages, the birds were no freer than anyone else—and still they sang. Tonks pushed the peeling corner of the painting back and tried to press it back into place but the deep gashes that dug all the way to the wood wouldn't allow such corrections. Still there sat the birds, belting their love songs as loudly as possible.
She turned back to face the great hall. After hours of nothing much more than a few question filled Hufflepuff students dying to know anything, Moody had sent Tonks away to start cleaning up a bit. She took special note of the thick scuff marks on her old house's table—left of course by her dear aunty. Bent spoons, knives, plates and saucers laid everywhere. Tonks couldn't put her foot down without having it crunch some piece of dented tin or glass—the sight of depressing and heartbreaking to the extreme. She tried to whisk some kind of magic that would fix the damage but Tonks had never been good with these spells.
Another crunch sounded, causing Tonks to jump. She raised her wand defensively but immediately stopped herself when she realized it was Remus who had just entered the great hall. His eyes were just as wide eyed as hers—tired but a bit shocked.
"Hello," Remus said, his voice catching on something that sounded like fear.
"Hello," Tonks said back.
A long, awkward silence went by before Tonks finally got out, "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. About…what happened in the hospital wing…I…I know you don't like attention on you like that. I just…lost my head. I'm sorry."
A nod from Remus signaled he was accepting her apology but there were clearly other things on his mind. Tonks studied him, half relieved to see those ragged features and half terrified, recognizing now new scars had been added to them. At Christmas the stubble had hidden much of it but now nothing could do so. He was beaten but the smallest of smiles crept onto his face—disappearing as soon as it came.
Without much thought to it, the words just suddenly slipped out, "I love you, Dora," he said.
Wide eyed, Tonks took a step back, "I'm sorry?"
"I love you," Remus repeated, "I love you."
This time it was for sure her stomach doing back flips happily, "I…I love you too, Remus."
Again silence spread over them as Tonks' eyes darted eagerly from Remus' face to the floor as she wondered which she should be paying attention to at that moment.
"Anything else?" she said it harsher than she intended, "You love me. I love you…but…?"
"But nothing," Remus gazed intently at her, "I love you." When he took a step towards her, he felt the box shift in his pocket and it hit Remus then why he had never given the damn thing away.
"Can you forgive me?" he asked.
"For what?"
Remus definitely grinned then, "Don't be like that. For being ridiculous. For leaving."
Once Tonks fully lifted her gaze and let it linger on Remus' face long enough, he could see her eyes were damp with tears, "You mean it?" she asked.
"Yes. I love you, Dora. The day you walked into Headquarters and told me you had spent the morning peeling egg whites off your ceiling after a rather unfortunate attempt at making breakfast…remember that? That day you told that story to all of us, I realized I loved you. You've been my friend and my lover."
With heavy, shaking hands Remus dug into his pocket and withdrew the box. He met Tonks' wet eyes again and found she had darted towards him—now they were mere inches apart. Smiling he said, "I want you to have this." Turning back to the box, he continued, "I've had this for a while. I bought it before I left…before Sirius died…I couldn't…I couldn't sell it…not all the time I was away. I sold my shoes. I sold my traveling cloak. I gave away food. But I couldn't give this away because…I guess…I don't know why. Maybe because it was you…I mean it…it reminded me of you. It was never really mine to give away anyway…I don't…I don't know…"
The box opened on a hinge and inside sat a perfect gold ring. Tonks stared at it as it glowed blissfully in the low light. Sitting and smiling from the band was a small diamond.
"Oh…I…" the tears fell hard from Tonks' eyes, "You…you're an idiot, Remus Lupin! I don't need a ring! What is this?"
Panting, smiling and bursting at the seams Remus answered, "Yes you do. I want you to marry me, Nymphadora Tonks."
She was full out crying out—torn between the perfection and the idiocy of the man before her. Between the sobs Tonks managed to get out, "I don't need a ring! I don't!"
"But you do! Marry me! Please! I'll beg you! I'll get down on one knee!" and before Tonks could protest there was Remus on one knee, holding the box and glistening ring up to his beloved. Tonks likewise fell to her knees and tangled herself up in him—arms, legs, mouths. He pressed his mouth hard against her and wretched It open, tasting her, sweet and lovely—like crisp, clean rain after a tour of the Sahara.
"You…I don't need a ring! But yes! Marry me! I want to marry you!" Tonks screamed happily, pulling her lips off of his.
Remus grabbed Tonks' hand and pulled the ring free at last before slipping it on her finger. Their mouths met again and though they tried to speak, not much was heard or understood or cared to be so. Remus yanked at her, like he was trying to draw his beloved into him and through him. For the briefest of moments he considered pulling away—thinking he was being too rough—but it was then Remus felt Tonks' lips curve into a smile. He couldn't have stopped—even if he had wanted to.