I think I have lost all my writing abilities and my creative juices. I haven't updated for a VERY long time because to begin with I got lazy then life got in the way and I lost the will to be bothered with it. But I have been getting a few reviews in recent times and it sparked my interest in writing this story again. Plus its such a shit thing when authors don't finish their stories. So I'm going to try and get this finished. I've kind of lost where I was going with this so it's just going to be going along with the flow from here on out. I'm sorry if its not a good.

Recovery.

It had been four weeks since I had woken up from my dream. In my dream I had been beaten and bloodied beyond any comprehension. I had died a hundred times and woken up a hundred times and I was exhausted. Completely and totally. Only, when I woke up in Kogome's and InuYasha's hut I realised it hadn't been a dream. It was very real and I was in absolute agony. Every day I wished for death to take me as I lay as motionless as I could. Every day Kagome would check on me and every day she would clean my face. She tried to clean my body with a cloth but it was just too painful. So I continued to lie on my make shift bed covered in grit and dried blood. After 4 weeks even I could start to smell myself.

Each day though, I gained a little more strength. I could feel the swelling in my face go down and the unadulterated pain in my broken bones had soothed to a dull ache now. InuYasha and everyone else came and went daily. They said good morning and after supper they would come and wish me good night. For the most, I slept all the time. In the beginning it was the only way to escape the pain, slipping into fitful nightmares or searching for the black abyss. But I couldn't escape the pain for long. I would see and hear my bones breaking and I could feel the water being poured into my lungs over and over. Often I would wake up in sweats and wanting to howl out my agony but to scream and cry, literally, hurt too much. In the dark of the night, remembering the complete blackness surrounding my cell, I could hear the evil firerats laugher echoing around me and it sent shivers down my spine. It was horrible. The guilt and sadness over Yomi's death weighed heavily on my mind as well and each morning that I would wake up feeling a little stronger and a little better I would send a prayer wish to the Gods. Take my life so I could giver Yomi's again. But my prayers were never answered. I lived on and Yomi was still dead. I had broken my promise.

But as the days past and the pain slowly subsided, the memories and nightmares slowly stopped replaying themselves in my dreams. I slept a little better and the extra rest made me feel a little stronger. But the strangest thing of all was Sesshomaru's change in attitude. He moved Rin and Jaken from camping outside to sleeping inside next to me. He would sit by my head every night giving me water and feeding me at meal times. His usual cold stare turned… well… I'm not sure. It wasn't soft and warm but it wasn't the usual frosty and disdainfully bored look he usually held. It was like he was filled with curiosity and intrigue. But why? What had changed? Was my body and face so messed up now that I didn't look like a girl anymore? Oh hell no. Did that fucking rat rearrange my face? If I needed plastic surgery now, I was going to…. I was going to… I was going to…. I couldn't even think of a bad enough punishment to in still upon the ugly rat.

Summoning my strength from four weeks of healing I propped myself on to my elbows that we bandaged so tight I could barely bend them. I heaved breaths and my ribs groaned under the pressure and probably still broken bones.

"I need a bath!" I said as loud as I could. My voice was hoarse from so long without really speaking. Sesshomaru fed me regularly but we never spoke. I really only ever spoke when someone said good morning or good night or when Kagome changed my bandages every couple days, and even that was only a few words. I saw Kagome jump up startled from bending over her fire pit and turn to me. She scrambled quickly my way and I repeated myself.

"I need a bath. I smell like a cows arse." I looked down at my tattered and filthy clothes. "And I look worse than one. Fuck. No wonder none of you look at me with a smile any more. I must look like some sort of freaking alien demon."

"You should not move." Kagome tried to push me down and as I protested trying to stay sitting I let out a whimper of pain. In my haste to get myself clean to see if I really needed plastic surgery or not I had forgotten I had broken a lot of bones in my body and that not moving for almost 4 weeks had caused my muscles to cease up.

"Fuck me." I hissed and let Kagome push me back into a lying position. "Fucking fuck me."

"Yes, you not heal. Sleep"

"No!" I pushed her hands away from my chest and steeled my resolve. I was going to have a bath even if it killed me. If I was going to be a cripple for the rest of my life or even die, I was going to do it smelling like flower and rainbows not dirt and shit.

"Kagome," I looked at her straight in the eyes. "I need a bath right now if I am going to feel any better." She subsided her pushing for a moment. I knew I had her won over the moment I mentioned baths. She was a clean freak and was always having baths. I pushed my resolve. "You know how much a good bath can make you feel better." She dropped her hands completely.

"And not to mention I need to get all this gunk off me so I don't get an infection." I could see her eyes wavering.

"And even I can smell how bad I smell at the moment. Imagine how Sesshomaru and InuYasha must find me with their demon noses…" I had won. I knew I had won.

"Feeling better about myself can help me actually get better a lot faster. Please Kagome, I need a bath." That was it. I had her hook line and sinker. Kagome sighed and nodded rocking back on her heels.

"Okay, can you stand? Your leg broken." Oh god. This is going to be agony but as I slowly forced myself onto my elbows again I got another whiff of myself and nearly passed out. I stank. Worse than a skunk rolling in vomit and pig shit all mixed together and boiling at one hundred degrees. Yep, I was having a bath even if it was the last thing I did.

"Of course I can stand. I'm healthy as a fucking horse."

Sesshomaru wandered the forests of his half breed brother's village. He replayed the same questions he had been asking himself since his… THE onna disappeared over and over.

Why did Amatsu take her?

Why had he killed the celestial?

Can celestials actually be killed?

What was the intrigue with the woman?

Why did SHE help HIM get to Amatsu's land?

What did the onna do to impress HER?

Why did seeing the onna like she was spark so much rage within him?

He had so many questions but all of the logical answers he concluded led to one answer. The prophecy was real. Or in the very least, Amatsu believed it was real and that the onna was the woman it revolved around. By all means she had all the right characteristics. Her body was covered in cherry blossoms. She came from another land. She spoke another language and she carried a baby celestial with her. Sesshomaru thought back to finding the celestial's body. It was haunting. The ball of fluff looked like nothing other than a piece of his mokomoko lying on the floor. There was nothing other worldly or god like about it. A small inkling of regret crept into his thought as he remembered just leaving the firerat where he found her. But he brushed it aside remembering he had only 2 hours to find his… THE onna and get out before the portal closed and he and his brother were stuck in Amatsu's land. Not to mention he was fending off hundreds of evil firerats. No, he didn't regret one bit. Tsukuyomi was a celestial and she was in the land of the celestials. One way or another she would see the fate of a celestial. He had no role to play interfering with that. But still… Sesshomaru felt uneasy and Sesshomaru did not like feeling uneasy. On top of that he had stayed in InuYasha's village for over a month now. Sesshomaru hated staying in one place for so long, his palace being an exception. However, Rin seemed happy. She had other human children to play with and Kagome took great care of her. Rin was always smiling and playing. He knew that she was lonely travelling with him yet no matter how many human villages he had taken her to and tried to leave her at, she refused to go anywhere he was not. It made him feel at ease knowing Rin was around good people and in good care and not lonely. Sesshomaru would never admit it out loud but he knew that Rin would be safe with InuYasha looking after the village. His brother had proved himself in the Celestial land and Sesshomaru was grateful he had managed to recover his… THE onna. After a decent run through the woods to try and sort out his thoughts Sesshomaru returned to the village.

"Kagome, I can do this. I'm not a fucking cripple." Sesshomaru watched as the miko tried to help his… THE onna walk. But Lara just pushed her away. All her legs were bandaged and her disgustingly filthy kimono they found her in barely covered anything anymore. For a moment longer he watched his… THE onna struggle to walk, limping badly. Pain was written all over her face as she forced herself to take step by step. Kagome tried her best to help her move but the stubborn human just kept pushing her away.

"I gotta do this to get better." She grunted out. Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. He knew that human bones healed slowly and hers would still be mending. Not to mention that they had been unable to clean the blood and dirt off her because she was in too much pain to be touched. She would do more damage at this rate if he did not step in. Sesshomaru strode from the end of the forest towards the miko and onna with purposeful intent.

So… I'm going to give you a scenario and you tell me if you think it's real or not. What if you're someone who has recently had a bit of an accident and it struggling to walk and move around in general. Now what if that someone knows Sesshomaru. What if Sesshomaru sees said person struggling to walk and asks POLITELY where they are going. What if that said person says they are going to take a nice hot bath. What if Sesshomaru then, trying to be a helpful gentleman, picks said struggling person up and takes them, carefully, to a nice nearby hots springs. What if Sesshomaru THEN proceeds to help them get undressed, undresses himself and helps the said struggling person into the hot springs and helps them clean themselves.

Yep. Unbelievable right? Well guess what. I am here to tell you YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG! Because right then I was completely naked in a hot spring with Sesshomaru. He wasn't completely naked, thank god, he was in his fundoshi. I'm not sure if I could have handled a completely naked Sesshomaru because just having him half naked was doing all sorts of things to me. In fact, his fundoshi didn't really hide anything and I couldn't stop my mind from conjuring up all sorts of images of what I could do with what he was not-very-well hiding. I shook my head trying to get rid of those unhelpful thoughts. And I didn't like those thoughts and things because it made my body hurt even more.

I had been struggling to walk to the edge of the village when Sesshomaru had showed up in front of Kagome. They'd exchanged some brief words before Sesshomaru had carefully picked me up and walked me to the hot springs. Deep down I was grateful for his help because it had taken Kagome and I what felt like an eternity to make it to the edge of the village. Not to mention my legs were in agony. Sesshomaru slipped into the hot springs and turned to help me in. He basically melted the remnants of my tattered kimono off and sat me on the edge of the spring. I was so embarrassed to be naked in front of him but I could do nothing because I was bandaged tightly and could barely move, even to cover myself. I couldn't stay mad at him thought when he tied his long silver locks up into a bun and secured them tightly on top of his head. I had a great deal of trouble stifling my howling laughter. Lord Sesshomaru, taiyoukai of the west and feared demon lord had his hair in a bun. All he needed was a shower cap and a rubber duck and he's be set. I couldn't help the giggle that slipped out and his infuriating eyebrow rose into his hair line. He undressed quickly and got into the waters. He waded over to me and un-bandaged everything. He kept his eyes trained on my face as he made quick work of all the bandages. I was touched by his consideration of not ogling me. Not only was I extremely uncomfortable being naked in front of him but I was in a considerable amount of pain still. I think my embarrassment stemmed not from being naked in front of him but more so the fact that I could do none of this myself and was relying on him to help me like a little kids would. Even Rin could bath herself. I wanted to scream and curse at him. I wanted to call him names and smack him for getting me undressed without my permission but something other than the pain from doing all that kept my mouth shut.

I had noticed earlier that something about Sesshomaru had changed. And I was noticing it again. It was almost like he had taken on a human like demeanour recently. His stoic air had softened and the hard look in his eyes had disappeared too. He lifted me into the water and I hissed at the hot water covered my healing wounds and still bruised skin.

"Fuuuuck." Sesshomaru moved into deeper waters until I could not touch the bottom. The water was putting pressure on my body and my rips were throbbing. My legs were sore from me walking on them and my wounds, although scabbing over, were stinging like bitches. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain. I thought this was going to be relaxing but I felt nothing but hurt. Sesshomaru waded around the hot spring for a while gently pulling me along with him until he led me to an edge where he turned and sat me an underwater seat. It was deep enough that my boobs were still covered when I sat and I was grateful. Sesshomaru turned and swam to the other side and retrieved something. I mean as turned on as I was to be naked in a hot spring with Sesshomaru it's not for the reasons I would have liked it to be for. If we were naked together in these hot springs to practice the karma sutra hell yeah but we were here because I stank to high heaven and I was a cripple who couldn't wash myself properly. I watched his back muscles ripple as he made his way to the edge of the spring.

God, he was absolute perfection. His muscles popped in all the right places. He was lean and white and he had little markings all over his body just as he did on his face. I wondered if anyone else knew this. I could feel the heat in my face rising and hoped that Sesshomaru would think it was just the heat from the springs. He swam back to me and handed me a cloth. Kagome obviously told him I wanted to clean myself. But fuck, how did he expect me to reach the wounds and dirt on my back or anywhere really. I was in so much pain I could barely more. That's why I had wanted Kagome to come with me, so she could help scrub me down.

I grabbed the cloth off him with a scowl and tried my best not to let him see my wince. I looked at my hands and scrubbed away at them first. I wouldn't really call it scrubbing to be honest, I had no strength about me and any that I did caused me pain. So I kind of just wiped the cloth over myself. As I moved up my arms and battled my stiff joints, broken bones and weak muscles I heard an exasperated sigh before the cloth was snatched off me and Sesshomaru was in front of me holding my chin between his fingers.

"Ummm." I said as he started dabbing at my face. I hiss as he moved to a big gash on my cheek.

"I can do it." He didn't stop his ministrations. "You're very close and I am very naked." I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "You're also very nearly naked." Still he didn't stop. He moved from my face to my neck and down to my chest. He lifted me out of the water and I struggled to move away from him. For a moment to two of us shoved and grabbed and I got more and more embarrassed

"Pervert. I can do it. Fuck me. Let go I can -"

"Stop." It was commanding and gentle at the same time. AND IT WAS IN ENGLISH. I froze in complete and utter shock.

"You can speak English?" I breathed out stunned and utterly reeling. If he could speak English I was in so much trouble. Since when could he speak English? Was it a recent thing? Was it always and he feigned ignorance. Was Kagome teaching him? I was suddenly very panicked. Sure previously I had no problem telling him what I wanted to but now things were different. He was Lord Sesshomaru Taiyoukai of the Western lands and most powerful demon in the world. He was capable of inflicting great pain and I knew that he got annoyed really easily. I mean look at the manga and anime. He could kill easily and if something or someone (like Naraku for instance) pissed him off he went after them and killed them. I did not like pain. I didn't ever want to feel what I had experienced with Amatsu ever again. What if me saying bad words and doing bad things pissed him off enough to hurt me like I was before. I forgot my current pain and did my best to struggle out of his grasp.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't have to be here. It's fine. I'll do it myself."

"Watashi wa hanasu koto wa arimasen anata." He spoke to me and once again I was frozen on the spot. It was not English. That was definitely Japanese.

"Sesshomaru, I'm confused. Do you speak English?" After a moment of staring into my eyes he once again lifted me so I was out of the water and started wiping away at my dirty skin. He was tending to my shoulder and said nothing more. I huffed confused as all hell. He spoke one word of English. Perhaps he had been listening to Kagome and I speak and picked up that one word. Or perhaps 'stop' was actually a Japanese word too but it had a completely different meaning. What if 'stop' actually meant "shut the fuck up bitch and let me clean you", I didn't know. But I was starting to get a headache. I let Sesshomaru complete his ministrations and bit down my embarrassment. He cleaned every inch of my body. I mean EVERY inch. Yep, you know what I mean. I guess I can now tell people that the great Lord Sesshomaru went down on me. I don't exactly have to tell them he went down on me with a cloth…. It doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it.

After we had finished cleaning he swam me around a little more. Slowly the heat had soaked into my muscles and bones and by the time Sesshomaru helped me out I felt loosened up, less sore and rather relaxed. Even my embarrassment had dissipated somewhat. He undid his bun and I was exceptionally jealous when his hair fell perfectly at his back again. I swear it had to be some sort of voodoo Inu magic. His hair was always so perfect. So was InuYasha's. God it pissed me off. I just had to be caught in a bit of wind and I suddenly had a birds nest on my head.

Sesshomaru dressed quickly and wrapped my in his undershirt before once again picking me up and carrying me back to the village.

In The Publishing Room...

Inu Tachi: It's been four years InuYasha, I think you did kill her.

InuYasha: No. I didn't. She fucked off to China.

Sango: No she didn't, that's your excuse.

InuYasha: Go to China. You'll find her.

Kagome: InuYasha, I hate it when you like.

InuYasha: No really, shes been living in China, hence she's been partying too hard

Lady: Ni hao. Ni hao ma? Hao jiu bu jian.

Inu Tachi: *silent stares*

I actually do live in China now haha but it hasn't been for long so I cant really excuse myself for this absense at all. Anyway as I said before I am going to try and get this story completed for all my people who have sent me reviews over the time. You're my inspirations (cheesy but for real haha) Hopefully talk again soon :)

~ Lady D. xoxox