I apologize profusely for taking so long to update. I've had a terrible time concentrating with the kid's home for the summer. I suck, I know.

Thank you to all that review and have this story on alert. Keep those reviews coming! Special thanks to TheGreatAli, tawelephant, Flora73 and Cullenfan524, your reviews always make me smile! You all have been with me since the beginning and I can't thank you enough. Hugs and kisses to each of you!

Thanks to my awesome beta tawelephant. She rocks! I couldn't do this without her! She is very sweet to take the time to do this right now.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters. The plot is mine and I am just playing around.

Chapter 21: The Way It Could Be

EPOV

Bella, Patrick and Pacey were coming to dinner tonight. I wasn't worried, not really. The house was clean. All of the cooking that had to be done was done, simmering on the stove, the scent filling the house. Like always, Claire had been such a great little helper with the cleaning and the cooking. In a way, I think she was working as hard as I was to make this work. Too hard.

When I told Claire that Bella and the boys were coming over, she was ecstatic. The only people that ever came to our house were my parents and Alice and Mary, sometimes Jasper, so the thought of someone else coming over besides them made her just as excited as I was. But I thought there may be a little more to it than that.

I knew that she wanted to play with the boys again. Since meeting Patrick and Pacey, she had mentioned several times that she enjoyed playing with them at Mary's and then when we went to Dave and Buster's, but honestly, I think she wanted to see Bella again just as much.

The night after Bella had come to the office, I told Claire that they were coming to dinner, she bounced around the house like a bouncy ball, asking all kinds of questions. Truthfully, I was just as excited as she was. This was my chance to show Bella what we could be together.

Even though it had been less than a year since my divorce from Tanya, I was ready to move on, especially with Bella. Other than having Claire, my life with Tanya had been a complete waste. I was tired of wasting time. I needed someone in my life that I could share it with. I needed Bella in my life. She was it for me. I know she is scared because of her previous marriage, and it may take some time to convince her that we belong together, but she would be worth the wait as long as we would be together in the end.

"What night are they coming? What are we going to cook for dinner? Are we going to watch a movie? Are we going to play games?" Claire's questions were coming so fast my head was starting to spin. I was already on a natural high of having Bella in my office that day, her scent still clung to my clothes and thoughts and images of the things we had done swirled around in my head.

"They are coming Friday night. I'm not sure what to cook or if we should order in. What do you think we should do about dinner?" My babbling sounded just like Claire's.

"You should cook. I think you should cook chili like Papa does. I can help. Oh! I know what we can do. We can play Wii. We could play Lego Rock Band and I could sing. Or we could play Mario Kart. I know that Patrick and Pacey would love to do that. We need more remotes." She tapped her finger to her chin deep in thought. "Oh they have a Wii. They could bring their remotes. I bet they have some cool games too. Oh this is going to be so fun Daddy."

She sent me into a tailspin as she started giving me ideas or should I say instructions on how the night should go. I promised her that I would talk to Bella and see what she thought about what the boys would like to eat and whether they would want to watch a movie or play games. It seemed to mollify her for all of five seconds.

"Oh I have to clean my room really good too." Suddenly she bit her lip, her eyes unfocused for a moment as she stared off into space. She looked back at me with a questioning look on her face. "Daddy, do you think Bella really likes me?"

That threw me off course. "Of course baby. Why would you ask that?"

She shrugged her little shoulders making her bronze ringlets of hair bunch up around her face. "I don't know. I hope she does."

Over the next couple of days, Claire reminded me of a wife getting ready for a dinner party. She cleaned her room just as she said, dusting every nook and cranny. Her books on her bookshelf were lined up by height, from tallest to shortest on each shelf. All of her dolls, even the ones that slept in the bed with her at night, were sitting on top of her dresser. She picked up all of her favorite toys that she kept out all the time and put them on the shelves in her closest. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that someone with obsessive compulsive disorder had snuck in her room and went nuts.

All week she did everything she could to help get the house clean. She had always been helpful, but she was going to the extreme. Finally I couldn't take anymore.

"Claire honey. What's wrong?" My anxiety level was almost through the roof worrying about her watching her fret over the smallest thing.

"Maybe if everything is perfect, then maybe Bella will like me? Maybe she will like us." My heart sunk. In all of her five year old wisdom she thought if everything was flawless that would make the difference on whether Bella liked her or not.

Images of us living in that museum Tanya called a home shot through my mind. Nothing was dirty, nothing was out of place, all of it was in pristine order. The only room that looked lived in was Claire's bedroom and playroom. Did Claire think that Tanya left because her room was dirty? There was no way I could let her think that.

"Claire, I want you to listen to me for a moment." She nodded looking up at me with her big green eyes that mirrored mine. "Bella likes you sweetheart. She doesn't care if your room is clean or not."

"Why did mama leave us?" Claire whispered. My breath clogged up in my lungs. Claire rarely spoke of Tanya. She had never questioned anything about Tanya leaving. The night that Tanya left had been the only time that we had talked about it. She had told me then that it was okay, that it was fine if it was just us. Apparently it wasn't. My parents had told me that one day Claire might question why, especially since she hadn't spoken of it much since Tanya had left.

Lying to Claire had never been an option for me, but right then I struggled with how much of the truth I was willing to give her. Even though Tanya was a selfish bitch who didn't care for anyone but herself, I wasn't about to tell Claire that. She didn't need to know that her mother loved herself more than she loved her own daughter. There had to be some way of telling her without being ugly about it. At that moment, watching Claire worry about why her mother left, the last thing I was really worried about was being nice about why Tanya did what she did, but for the sake of my daughter, like I have done in the past, I put Claire first.

I inhaled a shaky breath before I could say anything. "Claire, sometimes mommies and daddies stop loving each other. It has nothing to do with the kids. They still love the kids, but just not each other. Your mama stopped loving me so she left." That sounded like the shittiest explanation I had ever heard. It wasn't a lie. Tanya didn't love me no more than I loved her. The only difference between us was that I had tried over and over again to make us work when she never gave a damn. As long as Claire thought she left because of me that was all that mattered.

"That's sad Daddy." Claire reached up and touched my cheek with her little hand. My little girl was sitting there telling me she was sorry when I was trying to tell her why her mother left us. "I love you Daddy."

God I wanted to cry. It was as bad as the night Tanya left. Instead of me taking care of Claire, reassuring her that everything would be okay, she was comforting me. I couldn't take it. "Claire, I don't want you to worry about me. You make me happy. And I want you happy. That is the most important thing to me."

''I'm happy Daddy. I want you happy too. Does Bella make you happy?" Whoa. What a complete turnaround. Claire's emotions seemed to be all over the place this week.

"Yes sweetheart, Bella makes me happy. But I don't want you to worry about me okay. You are what is important. Do you understand?" I wasn't sure if this conversation could get any worse. I could feel a monster headache coming on.

"Yes Daddy. I do want Bella to like me. It would be nice to have a mama to talk to." Okay, I was wrong. It may not be able to get any worse, but it sure was confusing the hell out of me. The conversation reminded me of something you would have when you are drunk, one of those where you couldn't keep up because your thought process was just as messed up as you were.

Then another thought occurred to me. Claire was nervous like I was because she didn't want to mess this up for me, or for her. Possibly Claire was missing a female influence in her life and she wanted one, badly. Sure she had my mother. They spent time together cooking and baking, going shopping and sometimes they just played dolls or games. She had Alice. I knew that Alice was good for her. Not only was she Claire's teacher, but she went over to her house to play with Mary. But maybe that wasn't the attention that she wanted. Maybe she wanted someone around more often.

Holy hell. I just couldn't keep up.

"Baby, I don't want you to worry about a thing. Okay. Everything will work out." Claire nodded, a big smile lighting up her beautiful face, before wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

I wasn't sure how, but I was going to make sure that Claire and I both had what we wanted.

The timer on the stove went off reminding me to check on dinner. Slowly I stirred the chili, turning the temperature down to let it simmer until Bella and the boys got here.

Thursday night after the conversation that I had with Claire, after putting her to bed, I poured myself a glass a wine making myself comfortable before I called Bella. I needed to hear her voice. All week we only had the time to text each other. School and work had kept us both busy after the long holiday weekend. Monday in my office had been the only time I had seen her, actually heard her voice, touch her body. I missed her. Right then more than anything, I needed to talk to her.

It only rang two times before she answered. "I was hoping you would call. How are you?"

I sighed happily upon hearing her voice. "I'm good. I'm better since I can hear your voice."

"Is…something wrong? Do…Did you want to cancel?" Bella stuttered awkwardly.

"No!" I practically yelled in the phone. "No. That's not it at all. I'm sorry. It's been a long week. It has been like a roller coaster." That was nothing but the truth. Since Monday, I had been giddy as a girl and horny as a teenage boy because of my office visit with Bella, I had been confused and saddened at the same time while talking to Claire. If this is what pms felt like, no wonder women were so upset.

It's official. I'm a girl. I have all the symptoms.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Without a second thought, I relayed the entire week to Bella, from the way Claire was so excited about their visit to her questioning me about why Tanya left. It felt so natural talking to her like that. Just like all the other times we had talked; it was easy to share my life with her and my feelings. She listened and paid attention putting me first which was something that Tanya never did. I shouldn't compare Bella with Tanya considering they are such total opposites, but when I thought about it, it made me realize that Bella was everything that I ever wanted.

When I finished telling her everything, only then did I hesitate. Maybe telling her about how Claire was worried about how Bella would like her or not was too much. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you all of that."

"Edward, don't apologize. I'm glad you feel like you can talk to me." Her voice was low before she finished and then she cleared her throat. "It's only natural for Claire to ask questions. Sometimes I worry that Patrick and Pacey don't talk enough or ask enough questions about why I left Mike. I mean, they were there that night when we had that huge fight, and they knew that things weren't right between us, especially Patrick because he saw much more than Pacey did, but I worry that they are keeping things bottled up inside."

Bella inhaled a shaky breath. "I haven't told you this yet because I was trying to figure it out myself. Patrick didn't talk to me for days after we all went out together. He clammed up and didn't say a word about our date even though Pacey was talking up a storm about you and Claire. By the way, Pacey really likes you. He likes Claire too." She laughed nervously. "But you already knew that. After days of silence, Patrick finally opened up to me. He asked me if I liked you like I liked Daddy."

When I had asked Bella about what the boys had thought about our date, she said they had a good time, but she hadn't told about Patrick. Her admission gave me the impression that she was starting to open up to me more. We had talked about everything and anything when we talked, but I knew there was some things that she wasn't ready to tell me yet, whether it was fear or shame I wasn't sure. And with that, I knew she was starting to open to me, even if it was just a little bit, and it gave me hope that maybe she was ready to move forward. Each little step was closer to a future with her.

"What did you tell him?" This was as important as anything else.

"I told him the truth. I told him that I do like you?" She repeated the rest of the conversation to me, from Patrick speaking like a grown up telling her that he wanted her happy to them snuggling together in the bed all night as she tried to ease his fears.

"I hate that he closes himself off like that. I'm glad he opened up to you." Patrick seems to take after his mother in regards to holding back things.

"I'm glad Claire opened up to you too. We are just going to have to reassure them that we love them and let them know that we are never going to leave them. It really sucks that our kids have to deal with this at such a young age, but in the long run they are better off without Mike or Tanya in their lives."

"You couldn't be more right. I'm glad you told me about Patrick." The week was catching up with me so I laid down on the bed to get more comfortable. Talking to Bella had reduced my stress level immensely.

"I'm glad you told me about Claire too. When we come over tomorrow night, I will just have to show her how much I like her. There is no need in her worrying about that. She is such a sweet little girl. I always wanted a little girl." Bella sounded so wistful when she said that. An image of Bella playing dolls with Claire while all of us were living together in the same house flitted through my head making me smile.

"So what time are you coming to dinner tomorrow night?"

"We should be there about seven. Is that okay? What are you cooking? I could bring something if you like. How about I bring dessert?" Bella asked coyly like she didn't know what the image of dessert and her did to me.

A low growl came bubbling out before I could stop it. "Bella, you know how I feel about you and desserts." I had to calm myself down or I would attack her as soon as she walked in the door. "You don't have to bring anything but yourself and the boys. We are going to have chili with cheese toast, and hotdogs and buns and French fries if they don't want chili or if they want a chili dog or chili cheese fries. If that is okay? I can make something else if not. I'm going to the grocery store tomorrow so I can get whatever you want me to." I knew I was rambling nervously.

Bella giggled at me and the sound warmed my heart. "It all sounds great Edward. The kids like everything you are making, so they will have plenty to choose from. I'm looking forward to it. I've missed you."

Bella's confession was just another step in the right direction. Something has changed since she was at my office and I was going to find out what. I admitted to her that I had missed her too before we said our goodbyes. I told her that Claire wanted to play Wii and asked her to bring her remotes and one of her guitars so we could all play. After hanging up, I got ready for bed grabbing one of her books to read and relax. That night I fell asleep dreaming of the five of us playing together on the swing set in the backyard.

The doorbell ringing broke me out of my musings and alerted me and unfortunately my dick that the object of my obsession was at the door. Claire heard it to and came bounding down the stairs at the same time I exited the kitchen as we raced to the door laughing all the way.

Without hesitation, I swung the door open and was greeted by the most wonderful sight. Bella was holding a dish in her hands, while Patrick stood on one side of her with a Rock Band guitar and Pacey was on the other holding a bag of what looked like Wii remotes and steering wheels. A smile was gracing her beautiful pink lips, Pacey was grinning from ear to ear and to my surprise there was a small smile on Patrick's face. It was a start.

"Hey." She breathed right before Pacey grabbed her free hand and tugged her inside. As soon as she was in the door, her scent started to fill the room. She was beautiful in her fuzzy cream colored jacket and fitted blue jeans and her matching Converse treads. Her hair was pulled up in a pony tail exposing her neck to me making my mouth water to taste her.

"Hey." I answered back almost dumbfounded because she was this close in my house and all I wanted to do was touch her. She started to remove her coat and I moved to help her slip out of it then turned to take the boys coats laying them on the chair. Her cheeks were pink from the cold matching the snug fit pink shirt she had on reminding me of what she looked like when she blushed.

"Hi Edward. Hi Claire. Do you want to play?" Pacey had released Bella's hand once they were inside turning to me then Claire as he spoke holding out his bag of Wii components. Patrick was still hanging back behind Bella peering around her watching with rapt attention. Maybe he was in as much awe as I was.

"Hello Pacey." I answered ruffling his hair. Turning to Patrick, I placed a hand on his shoulder, not sure if he was ready for more than that, gripping it slightly. "Hey Patrick. How are you tonight?"

He shrugged. "I'm good. Thank you for having us." His tone sounded so adult like, reminding me that he was way more grown up than he should be.

What I witnessed next was one of the sweetest things I had ever seen. Bella ran her hand across Claire's hair, just like a mother would do to her own child, before she crouched down to Claire's level. "How are you today Claire?" Bella asked as she continued to play with the ends of Claire's hair.

A huge smile spread out across Claire's face as she blushed slightly at the attention. Claire responded by wrapping her arms around Bella's neck. "I'm so happy you're here."

Bella looked up at me, her eyes twinkling with happiness. "I am too. It smells great in here. I bet you did all the cooking yourself."

Claire giggled at Bella's comment. "Daddy and I did it together. Didn't we Daddy?" Claire looked up at me, her face glowing with delight.

"Yes sweetheart, we did. Why don't we go into the kitchen and set the table so we can eat." Claire nodded at me then turned to the boys motioning for them to follow her.

Waiting a moment to give the kids time to get into the kitchen, I turned to Bella, framing her face with my hands and placed a soft kiss against her lips, lingering for a moment while I inhaled her scent. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Bella whispered against my lips before she kissed me back. It was a soft sweet kiss that made me want more and I sensed that she was holding back as much as I was.

I released her face, stroking my fingers down her arm to her hand, before entwining our fingers together. "Come on, let's eat." Tugging her hand like Pacey does, I pulled her into the kitchen before I got carried away and took her into my bedroom, which I planned on showing her later. "Is that what I think it is in that dish?"

"Yes it is." Bella responded looking up at me through her lashes with a shy smile.

"Well, we'll just save that for later." I replied back with a smirk on my face.

Claire, Patrick, and Pacey set the dishes and silverware on the table while Bella and I put all of the food in serving dishes setting it in the middle of the table so we could serve it easily. After we were seated, Bella and I helped the kids put the food they wanted on their plates before we made our own.

Once we started eating, I looked around the table and watched the scene before me. They were all talking and laughing, carrying on like a family should. Like I was imagining we could be if everything went that way. It may be too soon, but I even after this short time, I know Bella is the one; she is who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Sitting down and eating dinner as a family was something that Claire and I never did with Tanya. She was never home enough to sit down and eat with us like this, and when she was we would sit and eat in almost complete silence. From what I could guess, Bella and the boys probably never shared a meal like this with Mike either.

After dinner, we all worked together to clear off the table and put the leftovers in containers. During dinner we decided we would play the Wii for a little while before we started a movie, so while Bella and I washed and dried the dishes, the kids went to set up the Wii for us to play.

The entire time I was washing the dishes, I couldn't keep my eyes off Bella. I wanted nothing more than to touch her and hold her and kiss her until we were both desperate for air. I knew we would have to wait until maybe later when the kids were watching a movie and we could sneak off and pop some popcorn, and then hopefully I would be able to hold her, even if it was only for a few minutes.

First we played Lego Rock Band. Pacey was on the drums, and even though he had been playing a while, he still played on super easy. The drums were the most difficult to play. Claire sang while Bella sat beside her on the ottoman and sang backup, claiming that Claire was the lead singer and she should control the microphone which Claire greedily accepted.

Patrick was playing bass while I played lead guitar. Bella had told me the boys were good, but for Patrick to be only seven, he played really well and on the medium setting at that. He certainly made me work for the scores I got.

Once we got tired of rocking out, we moved onto Mario Kart. We each had our own steering wheel, except for Bella, who graciously agreed when Claire asked to be her co driver like when we were at Dave and Buster's. Pacey won every race we played with ease making the rest of us eat his dust.

After a while, the kids decided that they were tired of playing and asked if we could watch a movie, but instead of popcorn they wanted dessert first. Bella and I retreated to the kitchen to serve the dessert while the kids put away the Wii stuff and picked out a movie to watch.

Bella spooned the dessert into the bowls as I watched her. The need to touch her and be close to her was overwhelming me. It was torture for her to be so close and not be able to touch her and before I could stop myself, I moved in behind her wrapping my arms around her pulling her back against my chest.

"I really have missed you. I know we talk on the phone and text each other, but it's just not the same as being able to actually see you and touch you. You don't know what it does to me to see you in my house, in my kitchen. Then to top it all off, you are serving up that sinful dessert of yours." My voice became low and husky. "All week in my office after lunch, I would get a spoon out and eat this and think about the things I did to you in my office. This is good, but you taste so much better." Whispering softly against her ear, I began to kiss down her neck.

"Oh Edward." Bella breathed, her body shuddering slightly in my arms.

I dipped my finger in the dessert, scooping up some of the whipped cream and cherry mixture, slowly wiping the sugary concoction down her neck from just below the sensitive spot behind her ear down to her collarbone. Leaning in to her, I darted my tongue out and licked the sweet stickiness off, nibbling and biting gently along the way. The taste of the dessert mixed with her own unique essence was like nothing I had ever had before and I knew I would never want anything else.

Bella's knees became weak and she sagged against me as I continued to kiss and lick at her neck. My hands began to roam across her body, one hand sliding down to cup her, pushing her against my hard erection as I grinded into her, the other hand splayed across her chest holding her to me.

Her moans and whimpers spurred me on and there was no way I could wait any longer to kiss her. The moment I turned her around, my mouth descended on hers as she opened hers to me in invitation. Our tongues touched and teased each other making me even harder in response.

Bella responded fervently to my kiss, biting on my bottom lip, sucking on it before her tongue darted out into my mouth. Her hands ran up my arms across my shoulders before finding their way into my hair, pulling and tugging making me groan with pleasure.

Without any doubt, I knew that she is what I wanted. There was no way I would ever want anyone else besides Bella. The heat from her body seeped into my skin and her soft curves pressed against me building my desire for her even more.

Bella broke the kiss, laying her head down against my chest panting and I could feel her hot breath through my clothes. I buried my nose down in her hair, inhaling her scent gently pressing my lips to her head.

I was lost in her. The feel of her body against mine, the smell of her surrounded me and the taste of her lingered on my tongue. Before I could break myself out of my self induced Bella phase, Bella whispered breathlessly. "Patrick."

Turning my head in the direction of hers, I saw Patrick standing in the doorway of the kitchen with his mouth opened slightly with a shocked look on his face. His eyes darted back from Bella to me and then misted over slightly before he turned and ran from the room.

"Patrick! Wait!" Bella sobbed out as she tried to break out of my arms to chase after him.

"No Bella. Let me. It's my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you like that when the kids were in the other room." Bella looked up at me with tears in her eyes, and to know that it was my fault that I had put them there made me even more determined to make things right.

"But…what if he won't talk to you?" Bella sniffled as a single tear streaked down her cheek. Of course she was right, but I had to at least try and talk to him. It wasn't Bella's fault that I attacked her like some horny teenager while her kids, and mine for that matter were in the other room.

Framing her face in my hands, I brushed her tears away with my thumb. "You're right. We'll do it together." There was no way I was going to let Bella handle this on her own. If Patrick was angry or upset, I didn't want him to take it out on Bella. I would take sole responsibility for it, I should have known better.

Bella nodded and turned to walk out to the living room where we found Patrick sitting on the couch staring at the now quiet television. Faintly I could hear Pacey and Claire playing upstairs in her room guessing that they got distracted while they were picking out a movie and I was relieved that at the moment they were oblivious to what had just transpired.

"Patrick." My nerves were on edge and I could hear it in my voice, so I cleared my throat before I said anything else. Bella was standing behind the couch looking down at him like she was afraid that if she tried to reach out and touch him that he would run away again.

Slowly, I moved and sat beside him on the couch. He didn't flinch or move away when I sat down but I waited a moment before I said anything. "Patrick." This time my voice was a little stronger. "I'm sorry if I did something to upset you. I would never do anything to hurt you."

Patrick sat stony faced, his posture stiff. It seemed like forever before he spoke and when he did, it was barely above a whisper. "Mama never smiled when Daddy was home. I never saw them kiss. I only saw him hurt her." What he said was plain and simple in a description that no one could misinterpret.

My blood started to boil under my skin and not in a good way. Not only had Mike hurt her, but I was right, Patrick had witnessed more than he ever should have. Not only that, but he never saw any affection between them, so our display in the kitchen was a shock in more ways than one to him.

It was time for me to do some straight talking. I had to give Patrick something of how I felt even if I couldn't let him know how strong my feelings really were. Like the fact that I wanted us to become a family. Some may think it's too soon to be feeling that way, but I wasn't going to wait to be happy any longer. I had wasted enough time with Tanya. And I really believed that we could all be happy together.

"Patrick, I want you to know that I will never hurt your mother. Or you. Or your brother. I couldn't. I care very much for Bella. Because I care for her, I care for you too. Your happiness and Pacey's means as much to me as it does to Bella. I don't want to do anything that will make you unhappy. I'm sorry if my kissing her made you unhappy." It was as simple as I could think of saying it without just coming right out and admitting my feelings for Bella.

Patrick started to shake his head. "It didn't make me unhappy. It was just weird. You know." He turned to look at Bella. "I'm not mad Mama."

"Oh baby." Bella made her way around the couch sitting beside Patrick and taking him in her arms. She looked at me over his head, mouthing a 'thank you' to me and the look in her eyes let me know that I had said the right thing.

The night may not gone exactly like I wanted it to, but I at least let Bella and her boys know that this is the way it could be if we were together.

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think. I will update as soon as I can. Thanks!