Total Drama World Tour
Disclaimer: The rights of Total Drama Island belong to its distributors; Teletoon, Cartoon Network, Fresh TV, and Cake Entertainment. The characters of Chris McLean, Chef Hatchet, as well as the twenty-two original contestants, belong to the aforementioned companies. However, the original fourteen contestants that appear in this story belong to their creators. Two belong to me.
The song which is parodied in this chapter, "Gay or European?" from the musical Legally Blonde belongs to its creators
This fan fiction is rated T for moderate language, mild violence, and mild sexual themes. You have been warned.
Author's Note: My apologies for the delay. This past weekend, I was down at Long Beach Island with a bunch of friends. Don't even try to make a Geoff joke, because Jamie am I has already done that. And next week, I'll be in New Hampshire... so there is a very slim possibility that you guys will get another update before then, but do not expect anything between the 11th or the 17th.
Unless of course Krei Tsuki or Jamie am I uploads the chapter for me, if I have it done by then. But the chances of that are slim so... I'm sorry if they'll be another two week delay, but my summer schedule isn't as flexible as I initially thought it was going to be... Sorry, guys! I have more of a social life than I anticipated!
The final elimination order is set, and it is planned to the winner. Who will it be? Only one way to find out...
Anyway, I hope that you all enjoy this chapter as much as you all did with the last one!
...
...
...
Niagara Brawls
(Narrated by Chris McLean.)
Last time on Total Drama World Tour...
The gang nearly turned into Swedish meatball pops...
But our competition heated way up when Viktoriya and Walter got closer and closer with each other.
And Emma might be seeing Daniel in a different way. Steaming!
Zane and Aria have a lot of tension between the two of them and poor Jamie is going to be forced to choose between friends soon. Sizzling!
In the end, Jamie's plan to attack Team Incredible Me with his kittens failed and Team Einstein won the challenge.
As a reward, Viktoriya and Walter were treated to a romantic dinner and ice skating time. Oh, oh, it's on fire!
We've got a lot of interesting interactions here on the show...
Viktoriya and Walter, Daniel and Emma, Emma and Zane, Zane and Jamie, Zane and Aria, and oh, so much more! Can it get any hotter?
We'll see, because this week I'm adding someone in who will kick things up to thermal nuclear.
This show is so hot, it would take about a gazillion gallons of water to cool us off and we've got them coming up...
On Total Drama Woooooorld Tooooour!
(Narration by Chris McLean ends.)
Theme Song Is Played.
Walter was exhausted after a long, cold night of ice skating with his new girlfriend. He still couldn't believe the fact that he had a girlfriend. Although he would never tell anyone, he never had a girlfriend before. Walter wasn't previously celibate though; he had his eye on a few girls back at school, but none of them were as amazing as Viktoriya. She had the most angelic voice. Walter could hear it now...
But wait... why was she screaming?
Her screams were loud enough for Walter to wake up from the deep sleep he was in. When his eyes opened, they widened. He didn't see the interior of the unsafe plane he had grown accustomed to. Instead what he saw was a few clouds in an otherwise blue sky. The only other person awake was Viktoriya.
The inventor started screaming, which then woke up Zane. His screams were loud enough to wake up Aria, and she screamed, waking up Emma and this startled Jamie enough to wake him up, so he screamed loudly. The combined screaming was just enough to wake up Daniel, who was usually a very heavy sleeper.
"What in the name of Niels Bohr is happening to us?" Walter exclaimed loudly.
"Is this Heaven?" Daniel whimpered. "I think that I fell off one of the clouds..."
Aria despite her current situation, scoffed. "If this was Heaven," she said, pointing at Zane, "why the heck would he be here?"
"Hey! I resent that!"
Daniel groaned. "Aria, you're not wrong, but this isn't the time! We're going to die!"
The last voice that any of them wanted to hear filled their ears. "Hey, kids! You better get into your paddle boats!"
"Is that God?" Daniel asked, confused.
"Damn it, Chris!" Zane shouted. "Save us! We need parachutes!"
"These are parachutes, they just look like paddle boats," Aria snarled. "Just grab on to them!"
As Viktoriya struggled to reach her paddle boat, she grabbed Walter by the shoulders and embraced him tightly. She buried her face in his chest and he squeezed her around the waist.
"If you try that on me," Aria warned Zane, "you'll die and it won't be because of the fall!"
"Don't flatter yourself, s—"
"SHUT UP AND GET IN THE BOAT!" Viktoriya shouted as she continued to hold onto her boyfriend.
Jamie, Zane, and Daniel all grabbed onto one of the paddle boats, which was shaped like a swan. Viktoriya, Walter, Aria, and Emma all grabbed onto the other one, also shaped like a swan.
Through a combination of skill, luck, and planning on Chris' part, the seven of them landed safely in the water. In a miracle, nobody had any major injures — not even a scratch or a bruise. After he finally let the situations sink in, Zane look behind him and he soon regretted doing so. His eyes widened and he tried to say something, but it game out in a jumble of words.
"Wa-wa... wa-wa... wa-wa... Wawa..."
"A Wawa?" Jamie asked, excited. "Oh, those are the best convenience stores ever! Actually, on the ride to the bus stop to this show, I stopped by one and I—"
"WATERFALL!"
Everyone gasped in terror. A very large waterfall was about ten yards behind them and the pulling force was dragging them there at an alarming rate.
"Quick, paddle!" Emma shouted to those in her paddle boat.
"I'm too young to die," Jamie sniffled as he paddled as quickly as he could.
Daniel groaned loudly. "I'm not supposed to die like this. I'm supposed to die in my mid-forties in a bar fight that I may or may not have started!"
"That's really dark," Zane said, paddling furiously.
"Is that relevant to our current situation?" Daniel asked.
"SHUT UP AND PADDLE!" Aria screamed.
Walter was freaking out and was thinking things that he normally wouldn't think. Because of the situation, he said one of these things out loud.
"I have a confession. Zane, last week, I accidentally knocked your toothbrush into the toilet and didn't wash it off when I put it back."
The schemer's eyes widened. His fists clenched and Jamie could see the vain popping on his forehead. Jamie inched away from Zane so he would not be hurt when Zane completely lost it. He lunged for the other paddle boat. He grabbed onto the neck of the swan, but his leg was still on his own boat.
Aria noticed a rope on the boat floor and quickly grabbed it and tied it into a lasso. She threw it and lassoed a tree and startled pulling her boat, and in turn the other boat, to shore. Thanks to her natural strength and the adrenaline that was running through her body, she was able to pull the strength of six other people and two wooden boats.
She finally pulled everyone to safety just seconds before the rope snapped and it went back and hit Zane in the eye.
Ignoring the small bruise on his head, Zane ran over to Walter and punched him in the shoulder. The inventor fell to the ground in pain.
"Okay, ouch!" Walter said. "But look, I'm sorry."
Zane didn't let him finish. "That was the toilet... where we all go... or business... Walter, I put that thing in my mouth. You're dead, do you hear me?"
"Touch him and feel my Russian wrath."
"Who said that?"
"Me, you dope!"
Viktoriya stepped forward and poked Zane in the chest. "Don't lay a hand on my Doc."
"Touch my Z... my friend Zane," Jamie corrected himself, "or you'll feel my white guy wrath."
"There's no such thing," Aria reasoned, crossing her arms.
Jamie raised a brow. "Oh yeah?" he then did a few karate poses, before he tripped and fell to the ground. "... Okay, I have no wrath."
Just then, Chris McLean approached them with a big grin on his face. "So, Niagara Falls is pretty awesome, eh?"
"It almost killed us!" Zane snapped.
"We could have died!" Aria shouted.
"Are you out of your mind?" Viktoriya barked.
"Yeah!" Daniel cheered. "I would always go here in the summer with my family, we—"
Chris cut off the fighter. "Daniel, you're positive about your near-death experience, and I enjoy that, but I don't care. The Falls is the jewel in Canada's crown and one of the top ten natural wonders of the world. It's also known for its fabulous casinos, which is where we'll be heading for the first part of the challenge."
Everyone's faces brightened with delight.
"Are you kidding me?" Emma asked, excited.
(Casino Concert Hall - Niagara Falls)
"Are you kidding me?" Emma grumbled, folding her arms.
"Since you're all under twenty-one and I don't want anyone to reenact scenes from The Hangover," Chris explained as Shaylie started wheeling something, which was covered with a tarp, into the room, "the challenge had to be moved from the gambling floor to the casino concert hall."
"I hope I can perform," Emma gushed, "it's always been my dream to perform at the Falls."
Chris nodded. "I'm sure it is, Emma. But before we get started, I have an announcement to make. Last time on Bridgette and Geoff's Aftermath show, they had a second-chance challenge, where someone from the peanut gallery can score a spot back in the game. And we're about to get a grand entrance from the winner right now."
Daniel chuckled. "I hope the returnee is Aidan; although if it's him, he wouldn't be from the peanut gallery, but from the peanut allergy."
Silence filled the casino.
"... Screw you guys, he would have thought that was funny."
Chris continued. "His main inspiration is David Guetta and hails from Detroit, Michigan... it's Lucian!"
"Oh sweet!" Walter cheered.
"Oh crap!" Shaylie groaned.
"Oh no..." Emma whispered to herself, very shocked and worried.
Lucian happily ran from behind the curtain and high-fived Walter and gave a big hug to Viktoriya
"Dude, you're back!" Walter cheered.
Viktoriya nodded. "Good to have you back, comrade."
"I know I'm happy," Emma smiled, trying to hide her anger.
"So am I back on my old team with Viktoriya and Walter? Which team am I on?" Lucian asked, ignoring Emma.
"You're on your own," Chris declared, "because as of right now, there are no more teams."
Zane and Aria smiled and shouted in unison, "Yes!" and then glared at each other.
"I hope that we can have an alliance with each other now that we've reached the merge," Daniel proposed to Emma, shaking her hand, "since we're such good friends and all."
Emma nodded. "Of course, Danny, just remember that it might not be pretty in getting some people out."
He considered this for a moment, and then shrugged. "Well, it is an elimination game—"
"Perfect!"
Jamie swung his arm around Zane. "Friends 'till the end, right Big Z?"
The schemer mentally rolled his eyes, but smiled on the outside. "Of course, pal, of course. I'm... I mean we're going to the final two together."
"Of course we are, who am I kidding?" Jamie laughed. "I gave you my orange soda pin, right?"
Zane glanced at the pin and lightly chuckled, genuinely amused. "That's right... you... you did."
"Hey Chris," Lucian said. "Where can I put my bag? It's heavy as hell... I don't remember packing so much."
"Just give it to Shaylie, she'll dump it in the cargo hold," Chris instructed.
The DJ gave the intern the bag, who grumbled on her way to the plane.
Walter grabbed Viktoriya's hand and smiled at her, captivated by her beautiful blue eyes. "Well, I know for sure that we're sticking by each other's side, right Poptart?'
"I'll be by your side until the end, my little doc."
Zane gagged. "Gross... love."
"Thanks for a good introduction opportunity, Zane," Chris said, "because since we are in the honeymoon capital of the world, I thought it would be cool to drop some arranged marriages on you."
"It is totally sexist to have an arranged marriage," Viktoriya barked, "you're taking away a woman's right!"
Zane rolled his eyes. "Right, because the man is always totally cool with the broad he's stuck with."
"You just might not be, Zane," Chris interjected, "because the big hidden device behind the tarp that Shaylie is holding..." Shaylie tore off the tarp, revealing a gigantic slot machine with Daniel, Walter, Lucian, and Jamie's faces on each bar, "is called 'Slots o Fun for Me, Not So Fun for You. Each girl pulls the lever to win a husband she'll team up with for today's challenge."
(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Walter crossed his fingers. "Please have Viktoriya pick me... Please have Viktoriya pick me... Please have Viktoriya pick me..."
...
Aria groaned. "Please don't give me Zane... Please don't give me Zane... Please don't give me Zane."
...
Emma had her hands in a prayer position. "Please give me Daniel... Please give me Daniel... Because all of the other guys are idiots, of course..."
Zane raised his hand. "Chris, there's five guys and three girls. What are we going to do about that?"
Chris grinned widely. "Total Drama is a corporation that promotes equality for all, including same-sex marriages. It's actually perfect that we have the gender gap, so we can show how much we support them. It's kind of a win-lose, though. I was kind of hoping we would have a girl-girl marriage, since that would be really hot."
"You're disgusting," Aria scoffed.
"Thank you!"
Shaylie then escorted Daniel, Jamie, and Walter into the door on the slot machine. They walked in a single-file line, one after the other. Shaylie stopped Lucian before he could enter.
"What the hell do you want, traitor?" Lucian scowled, crossing his arms.
"Oh, I just wanted to tell you that I really hope you get Emma, since I know how much you LIKE her."
Lucian scoffed. "Get out of my face, intern."
"Make me."
The DJ raised a hand. "Excuse me, Chris," he shouted loudly, "the help is talking to me."
"'The help'?" Shaylie asked, offended.
Chris approached the two. "I am very upset. I was hoping you two would be paired off together for the challenge."
"Gross," the two said in unison, glaring at each other.
"Now Lucian, go into the slot machine."
Lucian nodded and entered the slot machine, and before he closed the door, blew a raspberry at Shaylie.
"Now, Ms. Andrews," Chris said, "stop fraternizing with the contestants or you will be given a severe pay cut. Is that understood?"
"... I'm getting paid?"
"You will if you make it past week seven, which none of the interns have yet to do."
"Chef's been here for like, two years and he hasn't been paid."
Chris shushed Shaylie. "Don't remind him."
"He's not even here."
"Well, he has the ears of a freakin' bat!"
"... Okay..."
The host approached the three girls and Zane. "Now, one-by-one, you two will pull the lever and be given your husband-to-be!"
Zane realized what would happen and his eyes widened. "Wait, you've GOT to be kidding me. I'm not marrying a dude, I'm straight!"
"Could've fooled me," Aria scoffed.
"Hey, at least I could hold onto a man," Zane retorted.
Aria clenched her fists and shouted, "Estúpido hijo de puta, lo haré garra tus ojos!" [1]
"I don't speak Japanese," Zane scowled, "so shut up and leave me alone."
Chris turned to Emma and said, "Okay, since you are annoying me the least right now, you can go first and pull the lever."
Emma smiled and ran over to the lever and pulled it. After a few seconds of the bars spinning, she landed on the last person she wanted it to land on: Lucian. Quickly, she "accidentally" nudged the lever and it changed to Walter. Emma let out a sigh of relief and Viktoriya gasped in shock and anger.
The coin slot opened up and Walter fell out, screaming. He stood up and dusted himself off, and then walked over to Viktoriya.
"Let's win this thing, babe," he said, puffing out his chest. He noticed the upset look on his girlfriend's face and frowned. "Wait, you didn't get me?"
Viktoriya shook her head and pointed to Emma, who was smiling.
"Don't worry, Vicky, I won't steal your boyfriend," Emma promised, giggling.
"You better not," Viktoriya said in a less sweet way.
The Russian grabbed the lever and shoved it down as hard as she could. It landed on Daniel and he fell out of the coin slot and landed on his head. He moaned in pain.
"Come on, big guy," Viktoriya said, helping the boy up, "you're my partner."
Daniel smiled. "Hey, I'm just glad I'm not with Zane."
"Sweetie, we're all glad we're not with Zane."
Zane raised a brow. "Hey, I'm standing right here!"
"Yes you are," Chris said, "now go stand over there next to the lever and go ahead and spin it, while you're at it."
The strategist complained under his breath and spun the lever, silently praying that he wouldn't get Jamie. Now those who had been witnessing Zane's luck on the show should know exactly how this would play out. Three Jamie bars flashed on the screen and the dark-haired boy fell out of the slot machine.
Jamie's face brightened up when he saw who his partner was. "Heck yes! This is going to be like that movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, where the two best friends get married." [2]
Zane shuddered. "That movie was terrible."
"It wasn't that bad," Jamie defended, "It had Kevin James and he's hilarious."
"But it had Adam Sandler," Zane pointed out.
Daniel nodded in agreement. "I'm not sure if he stopped being funny, or if he never was and I was just twelve when I thought he was."
"Enough insulting actors," Chris snapped, "they're hard workers! Now, by default, Aria will be marrying Lucian."
Lucian walked out of the slot machine when he heard his name. "Chris, if I'm not with Emma, you're the man."
"I guess that I'm the man," Chris smirked, "because you're with Aria."
The mocha-skinned teen nodded. "Thank God," he said.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Lucian looked around the bathroom. "Wow, I haven't been in here in a while. Anyway, you're all probably wondering why I'm not shouting to the world that Emma's been playing everyone. Well, do you think they'd believe me if I just told them? I don't know any of them that well and Emma's been here longer. Who do you think they'd believe?"
He folded his arms and glared at the camera. "They'll think I'm a jerk for saying such things about Emma and vote me off. I've just got to wait for the right moment."
...
Emma glared at the camera. "I've got to be careful with Lucian. He knows all about me and he'll tell everyone. I'm not sure if I'll use bribery, blackmail, or a threat. There are so many options."
"Now look," Zane said, "I think I'll speak for Jamie when I say that he does NOT want to wear a dress. He's not even flamboyant!"
"Yeah," Jamie nodded, "I mean, I don't like getting dirty, or wrestling, or sports... but I'm not flamboyant."
Chris chuckled. "Relax, boys. Zane, Jamie is not going to be your bride."
Zane let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God, you were just joking the whole time. Do you have some girls for us or—"
"You are going to be his bride!"
There was silence in the casino. Zane had a temper, which anyone could easily deduce by watching more than five minutes of the show. But there were certain things that pissed him off more than others: not getting his way, domestic violence, when the fast food joints get his orders wrong were all things that annoyed him.
But having to "marry" a dude on the show that seemed to insist he wasn't straight was something that would push him over the edge.
"Oh well," Zane said, putting his hands in his pockets, "I guess that cannot be avoided, we all have to HELL NO, YOU MOTHER—"
"Just calm down now," Chris said.
"There is no way I'm being someone's bride, you bastard! I'll kill you, I'll kill you all!"
"While Zane is throwing a hissy-fit over the color of the napkins at his wedding," Chris said, "will you all follow me to the first part of your challenge?"
The contestants were all lead to an obstacle course. On four platforms, Daniel, Walter, Lucian, and Jamie were holding megaphones. Below them, their respective girls (or in Jamie's case, Zane) were standing blindfolded. The obstacle course had many traps, such as pools filled with muddy water. At the end were four wedding dresses.
Three of the dresses were pure white, frilled, and very well-designed. One was shiny and almost glowing in how beautiful it looked, it was definitely the best of the three good ones. Another one was very nice, but did not shine as much as the first and the third one was still white, but did not shine at all.
The fourth one was really very old and had thick straps and a flowing skirt. All of the girls cringed when they saw this one.
"Because all good marriages are based on trust and the ability to argue louder than your spouse," Chris explained, "each groom will be given a megaphone to guide his blindfolded spouse safely to his gown."
"I have to wear a dress?!" Zane snapped. "Come on, you couldn't find a tuxedo or something?"
Chris shrugged. "We expected the genders to be even, so we made for dresses. Sorry."
"You're not sorry at all! You're enjoying every bit of this!"
"I know. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go ahead and continue with my monologue," Chris said, narrowing his eyes. "Only couples with a dress may continue. Go!"
Emma took off running as soon as Chris announced the challenge started. She had just barely avoided a mud pit.
"Okay, watch out for that pool over there," Walter called out to her. "Go right."
SPLASH!
"... Oh, wait, I mean your right, sorry!"
Emma clenched her fists, but was able to suppress her anger. She offered a weak smile. "Don't worry, sweetie. Accidents happen."
Watching another woman call her boyfriend "sweetie" fanned a flame of the fire that was already in Viktoriya's heart. She grumbled something to herself before her thoughts were brought back together, courtesy of Daniel.
"Hey, Viktoriya!" he called. "I said go left."
"Oh, sorry," she said, "I'm just a little... lost in thought, you know?"
Daniel nodded.
"... You know I can't see if you nodded or shook your head, right?"
"Oh..." Daniel chuckled. "Well, yeah, I get how you feel. I could talk to you after the challenge if you want, maybe."
"Maybe," Viktoriya said.
Daniel shouted into the megaphone, "Okay, now there's a pool straight ahead. You're going to want to go around it to avoid it."
"No way!" Viktoriya said sarcastically. Although she was blindfolded, it was likely that she was rolling her eyes. "What's easier, left or right?"
"Right... no left!"
"Ugh!"
Aria was easily making her way through the obstacle course, thanks to Lucian actually being competent in giving directions.
"There's a giant cake in the middle of the aisle," Lucian called, "go about three feet to your left to avoid that."
"Okay..."
The half-Hispanic girl did as instructed and easily avoided the dessert.
"We're almost there," Lucian said, "now... oh, jeez, that's a lot of mud. No biggie, you're not in the dress yet."
"Just lead me to a pretty one!"
Lucian smirked. "I didn't think of you as someone care about that stuff."
"Every girl looks forward to her wedding day, Lucian."
Jamie was having a hard time even getting Zane to move off the platform.
"Come on, please go!"
"No."
"Don't you want to win?"
"No."
"Don't you want to try?"
"No."
"For me?"
"No."
"For... Narnia?"
"No."
"What if I brought my kittens out? Would that convince you?"
As with Viktoriya, we could not see Zane's eyes, but he was obviously widening them. He ran through the obstacle course very quickly and easily reached one of the dresses...
... Just before Aria could.
In fact, Zane grabbed the nicest dress out of all of them. He removed his blindfold and sighed in relief. "If I'm wearing a dress... at least I'm wearing a nice one."
"That's the spirit!" Chris and Jamie said at the same time.
Aria grabbed another dress and she was pleased when she took off her blindfold. Her dress wasn't as nice as the one Zane had, but it was still a stunning silk one.
"I got one, Lucian!" she called.
"You're wedding dreams are coming true," he grinned, "I'm just sorry I'm not Xavier."
"Not all of us can be as amazing as he is."
Lucian's mouth puffed out a bit, and then he swallowed.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing, I just barfed a little in my mouth."
Meanwhile, Emma had finally managed to find her way to the dresses without Walter's help. She had done this easily by listening to the others talk and going to where the sounds came from. She grabbed another dress and got the third nicest one.
"Thanks for all your help, Wall," Emma said to him, smiling.
Viktoriya was a few feet away from the others and had just heard what Emma had said. She ran through the remaining obstacles, including jumping right through the wedding cake, and landed at the feet of the mannequin wearing the last wedding dress.
She removed her blindfold and frowned when she saw her dress. "I got the gross one," she sighed. [3]
(Niagara Falls)
The eight teenagers were gathered one a large platform at Niagara Falls. The girls were now wearing their wedding dresses. Needless to say, they looked radiant. Even Viktoriya in her cheap dress looked beautiful. Emma adjusted her long silk gloves and Aria was playing with her diamond earrings.
Zane, however, was not as pleased as the girls.
"I hate my life," he grumbled.
"Stop complaining and enjoy the wedding, Mrs. Guerrero," Aria snorted.
He threw his bouquet in her face.
Chris McLean, now dressed back in his regular outfit, stood in front of the group, grinning. "I'd like to call this next challenge 'Till Death Do You Part'. Each groom has to carry his bride across the gorge, and then you've got to successfully clear customs. First pair to do so wins invincibility and a pimped-out wedding reception in first class. Jamie and Zane won the challenge, so I'm giving them a head start."
Zane scoffed. "At least something came good out of this marriage."
"I nearly forgot," Chris said, "because the Falls weren't quite unpleasant enough, we stocked them with hungry, hungry sharks."
Below, three sharks leaped out of the water and took a bite out of the air. Above, the contestants trembled with fear.
"Sharks?" Daniel gasped.
"Actually, more people die from being hit on the head with coconuts than shark attacks yearly," Walter pointed out.
Aria glanced over at Emma and scoffed. "Where's a palm tree when you need one?" she grumbled.
"Let's go, bud," Zane grinned, "so we can get this challenge done! The two best friends always win!"
"We're best friends?" Jamie asked, his eyes shining.
"Of course, dude!" Zane said.
Chris interjected. "Remember, Jamie has to carry you bridal style."
"What?" Jamie and Zane shouted at the same time.
"I don't think I'm that strong," Jamie said nervously.
Zane cried out, "I just don't want to be carried across a tightrope."
"Too bad," Chris said. "Now start before you're both eliminated from the show."
"Harsh," Jamie said, frowning.
Zane shrugged. "Hey, I'm not that heavy, so it shouldn't be too hard."
"I didn't meant to imply that you were heavy," Jamie gasped.
"You didn't," Zane replied, relieving him. "I'm just saying that it will be easy for us because of it. Now let's go, Little J."
"Okay, Big Z!"
Jamie grabbed Zane and carefully positioned him in bridal style. Even though Zane was average in weight, Jamie was not strong enough to lift him with ease. The two of them made their way onto the tightrope. Shockingly, Jamie was able to balance himself and Zane well enough that they did not fall over.
This didn't last long though. Jamie looked down at the bottom and he realized how high up he and Zane really were. His eyes widened and he began to tumble backwards...
Zane seemed to notice this and his eyes widened too. "Jamie, don't look down... Jamie don't you fall one me!"
"I'm sorry!" Jamie stammered as he struggled to stay on the rope.
Eventually, the brown-eyed boy fell off the tightrope and plummeted into the water.
"I hope he's okay," Daniel said.
"Is he alive?" Viktoriya asked.
"Does this mean no elimination?" Aria asked.
Emma looked around. "Wait, where's Zane?"
"UGH! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
Zane was hanging on for dear life on the tightrope. However, he wasn't using his hands. His veil was tangled up on the rope.
"Ha!" Daniel laughed.
"Somebody get me down from here!" he complained.
"You aren't worried about Jamie?" Lucian scoffed, knowing the answer.
Zane rolled his eyes. "Of course I am! Just... get me down from here!"
Walter smiled. "Come on, it's obvious why you are so worried about him."
"Doubt he is," Aria muttered.
"What's that?" Zane scoffed.
"You're in love with him," Walter replied. "It's so obvious."
Viktoriya chuckled. "Sweetie, he's clearly using Zane."
DING DING!
Chris smirked. "I smell some drama coming. But, you have to sing it!"
"What about Jamie?" Aria asked.
"I'll give him a break this one time," Chris replied. "Besides, I think he's got bigger problems."
Jamie's screams were heard from the bottom. "Gah! Sharks!"
Gay or Is He Schemin'?
Parody of "Gay or European" from Legally Blonde.
Daniel: There! Right there!
Disregard the way he's sought
Look at the fancy dress he's got.
I think I've got him on the dot
I'll bet he's gay, totally gay.
Lucian: I'm not about to call him out
Not every trait could doubt that he's down the straight route
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.
All: That's the thing we're trying to assess
Well is it correct to guess
That a man who wears a dress
Is automatically matically gay?
Walter: But look at the way he walks and talks
Viktoriya: I bet he likes sucking...
Chris: Ack! Jocks! [6]
Walter: This is a political paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Aria: What are we seeing?
Lucian: Is he gay?
Emma: Of course he's gay.
Lucian: Or is he schemin'?
All: Ohhhhhh.
Schemin' or is he gay?
It's hard to really say
Is he schemin' or is he gay?
Zane: Um, hey stop talkin' 'bout me.
Viktoriya: You see that Zane treats Jamie kindly when he's a major jerk to us
He's putting up a fuss
All: In forms of slurs and a nasty cuss
Lying douche or gay
Our curiosity's at its peak!
He will say things like "Little J"
While he thinks of you as a freak
Emma: Yeah right!
All: Gay or is he schemin'?
There's fifty shades of gray.
Walter: If he's like Deylanie, he might go both ways.
All: Is he gay or schemin'?
Or
Aria: There! Right There!
Look at that two-faced, angry jerk.
You can see it every time he smirks
That is a purely hetro quirk
That guy's not gay, I say no way.
All: That's the thing we're trying to assess
Well is it correct to guess
That a guy in that costume
Emma: Is automatically-matically
Aria: Obviously-viously
Viktoriya: Predictably-lictably
Walter: Truthfully-luthfully
Daniel, Viktoriya, and Emma: GAY!
Walter, Aria, and Lucian: HE'S NOT GAY!
Daniel, Viktoriya, and Emma (Walter, Aria, and Lucian): OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY (HE'S NOT GAY GAT GAY GAY)
STOP IT
Gay or is he schemin'?
Lucian: So nasty, what a prick!
All: Is he gay or schemin'?
Aria: I think he's wearing lipstick
Walter: But he has to wear it with the dress.
It's not truly his fault
It's not a thing we can nail
Aria and Lucian: Just cuz' wears a dress or bears a veil
Gay or just asshole
I still can't find the truth
Aria: He doesn't have a soul
And I want to break his tooth
All: Huh.
Gay or is he schemin'?
There's fifty shades of gray.
Emma: But if he's not schemin' we'll deem him gay
Walter: Keep dreamin', I have to say!
All: Is he gay or is he schemin'?
Gay or schemin'?
Gay or Scheme...
Walter: Hold on a minute!
Give me a chance to talk to the guy
I have something I'd like to try.
Chris: Whatever, dude.
Walter: So Zane,
You've been friends with Jamie since...
Zane: The show started.
Walter: And your last name again is...?
Zane: Dempsey.
Walter: And your boyfriend's last name is...?
Zane: Don't have one.
I told you! I'm not gay. I don't have a boyfriend.
But he is my best friend. Jamie is my best friend.
Aria: Wait, he might be telling the truth.
I always catch him staring at my ass or my chest.
I think we have our answer...
People, I have a answer to say
This man isn't gay, might be schemin'!
His traits are not redeeming
Now way he's a closet case.
No matter what you say.
That's proof he never ever ever swung the other way.
He's not gay.
No need to guess
He's a straight boy in a dress
Zane: See, I'm straight!
Aria, Walter, and Lucian: You were never gay
So if we may, we're right to say,
Not gay!
Aria: Maybe schemin'!
Zane: Not gay!
Walter: Maybe schemin'!
Zane: Not gay!
All: Might be scheming, but no way he's gay!
Lucian: Admit it, he's not gay!
Zane: Not gay!
Daniel, Viktoriya, and Emma: Fine. Okay. Not gay!
Zane sighed deeply, and then his eyes widened when his veil snapped and he was sent falling into the water.
"Now that that's all cleared up," Chris said, "the rest of you may start to go on the tight rope."
Emma faced her fake husband. "Let's go then, Walter."
The white-haired inventor chuckled nervously. "I'm not that strong, though. Just give me a bit to stretch and we can get going."
It took every ounce of strength in her body to not roll her eyes or make a sarcastic remark, but Emma was able to do it. She put on a fake smile, which she put on well thanks to her years of acting, and said, "Well, you just take your time then, cutie."
Walter paused and raised a brow.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Walter was grinning widely. "First Viktoriya, then Georgie, and now Emma? Man, I have GOT to buy some more of the cologne I've been using."
"Okay," Walter said proudly, standing up after he finished stretching, "I'm finished."
Emma sighed. "That's great, Wally, but the others are already starting down the tightrope."
"Oh... Hey, let's be optimistic, we can still win this!"
Emma shrugged and let Walter grab her, and then he shuffled her around a bit until she was position bridal style.
However, immediately when he stepped on the tightrope, he lost his balance and the two of them were sent falling. Luckily, Emma's dress was caught on the rope and was actually snagged on pretty tight.
Only she wasn't attached to the dress.
Below, Emma and Walter had just landed in the water. When they rose to the top and got on the boat, Walter's eyes widened when he saw Emma's... body.
He tried to stammer something. "Um, Emma, you..."
Whatever she said was muffled by her hair, which had gotten wet when she landed in the water.
"You're... you're um..." Walter tried to say
"Mmph mmph mmph? Mmmph mmph." [4]
"You're dress... you're dress is..."
"Mmmph? Mmmph mmph mmmph, mmph." [5]
"You're dress is gone," Walter finally managed to say. "You're not wearing any clothes."
Although one was unable to see her eyes because they were covered with her hair, it was obvious that Emma's eyes widened. She quickly jumped into the water in an attempt to cover herself up.
Meanwhile halfway across the tightrope, Lucian was carefully tiptoeing his way to the other side of the bridge. Aria was in his arms, holding onto him tightly. Lucian actually was the one who looked more nervous at how high they were than Aria was. Another challenge that Lucian had was not looking at Aria's cleavage, which was practically in his face.
"I've watched the show since my elimination," Lucian said, "and I know that you know that Emma is evil."
The half-Hispanic girl scoffed. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, amigo. I'm surprised everyone is still under her spell."
"She is a witch," Lucian said, laughing.
"True," Aria giggled.
Lucian nodded. "Now, I'm also aware that Emma is blackmailing you with something."
Aria's eyes widened. "Look, please don't judge me, I—"
"Relax, relax, I don't know what it is," Lucian assured her. "I personally don't care what it is either. We've all done some bad stuff."
"Yeah," Aria said, looking off into the Falls.
Lucian continued. "Well, now that we have an understanding, I have a proposition for you."
"But we're already married," Aria cried. "I'm joking. Is this for an alliance?"
"Uh... yeah, that's exactly what I was proposing. Is it a yes?"
Aria winked. "It's a hell yes. Just promise me you'll vote for her with me every time."
"Deal," Lucian said, winking back at her.
The two almost reached the end when Lucian's eyes widened. His nose scrunched up and he started making a very awkward face.
"What's wrong?" Aria asked.
"I've got to..." he gasped, "I've got to... AAAA-CHOOO!"
The sneeze was powerful enough to knock the two of them off the tightrope and they were sent falling to their certain deaths. Luckily, one of the largest bodies of water in the country was below them, so the fall was not as hard as it could have been.
A little bit behind them, Viktoriya commented, "Sucks to be them."
Daniel and Viktoriya approached the end, both of them appreciating the platform's solid ground more than anything after having to cross that tightrope. Hatchet was dressed like a businessman in a suit, stuck in a little outpost with a very bored expression on his face.
"Business or pleasure?" Hatchet asked.
The two teens looked at each other and Daniel replied, "Pleasure."
Chef Hatchet nodded. "First you have to answer some questions. Okay, Daniel... what is your name?"
"Um, Daniel Kent," the fighter replied.
"What... is your quest?"
"I want to win the challenge," he said, exchanging glances with Viktoriya, rather confused.
"What... is your favorite color?"
"Red."
Chef Hatchet nodded. "Okay, Viktoriya... what is your name?"
"Viktoriya Manya Syuzanna."
"What... is your quest?"
"Same as Daniel, I want to win the challenge."
"What... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Viktoriya raised a brow. "Well, do you mean an African swallow or a European swallow?"
Chef groaned. "I don't know that!"
"Congrats, you guys," Chris said as he approached them, "you'll be travelling together in first class and you've both won invincibility."
The two of them cheered in celebration. Viktoriya, when pumping her fists in the air, accidentally hit Daniel in the face and he was knocked off of the platform. He screamed all the way down until he hit the water; a loud splash was heard followed by screaming about sharks.
"Oh, that's not good," Viktoriya muttered.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Economy Class)
Emma was pacing back and forth as she muttered something to herself. Before her sat Zane and Aria, who were glaring at each other furiously. Neither of them said a word; they didn't have to. They knew exactly what the other wanted to say to them just by all of the hate in their eyes.
"Well, I think I've made it clear on who I want out of this game," Emma said.
"Obviously," Aria rolled her eyes, "and I know that I have no choice in the matter, but why? Why pick them?"
The blonde chuckled. "You don't see it? Allow me to explain, dear Aria. He's close with a lot of people and he's smart. He's an obvious threat."
Zane sighed. "I don't know about this one, he's a good guy."
"Since when do you care about that stuff?" Emma scowled, her arms folded.
"I don't," Zane snapped, "but doing it to him... it just doesn't feel right, you know what I mean?"
Aria nodded in agreement. "Can't we pick someone else?"
Emma poked Aria in the chest. "No means no. Or do I need to let everyone know about your past?"
The half-Hispanic girl's eyes widened in shock. "You... you wouldn't!"
"Try me."
Aria sighed, defeated. "Fine, I'll vote for him... but I won't be happy about it!"
"Good."
With her allies straightened out, Emma walked out of the room, satisfied. Aria soon followed, ready to cast her vote. Zane, however, remained seating.
"Sorry, dude," he sighed.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Drop of Shame)
Chris McLean stood in his compartment in the elimination room, per usual. The only difference in the room was that there was much more people than there usually was. Now that the teams were merged, the contestants were no longer restricted in sitting with those they hated anymore.
Walter and Viktoriya were holding hands, sitting next to each other. Lucian and Aria sat off to the side, the latter glaring at Zane and the former glaring at Emma. Zane and Jamie were sitting next to each other, and the schemer did not look happy. Daniel sat on the row above the two of them and Emma was sitting in the top corner, alone.
The host grinned. "Daniel and Viktoriya have immunity," he explained, "but everyone else is fair game. What's it going to be?"
Shaylie handed him the results and he looked them over. He seemed genuinely shocked with the results.
"Really, wow?" he said, his eyes widened. "This is kind of shocking."
"Just get it over with already!" Zane cried, throwing his arms up in the air.
Chris rolled his eyes. "Okay, don't get upset because the flower arrangements were wrong at your wedding."
"Screw you."
"Those who are called out will be given a barf bag of airline issue peanuts," Chris explained, "and the one person that does not receive a barf bag must take the Drop of Shame!"
Zane scoffed. "We know this already. Just get on with it."
"Okay!" Chris huffed. "The first two barf bags go to our winners, Viktoriya and Daniel."
The fighter and the overachiever smiled and caught their barf bags.
"Also safe is Aria," Chris declared, "and she was the only one to not receive a vote."
Aria raised a brow. "Wait, really?" She caught her barf bag.
"The next barf bag goes to... Emma!" Chris shouted.
Emma smiled and nodded, then caught her barf bag. She noticed the raspberry Lucian blew at her and casually replied with a wink.
"Lucian!"
The DJ sighed in relief and caught his barf bag with one hand.
"Zane!" Chris said, tossing him the barf bag.
Zane sighed deeply and didn't even make an attempt to catch it.
"Contestants, this is the final barf bag of the evening," Chris said, looking between Walter and Jamie. "And it goes to...
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... Jamie!"
The author gasped in delight and hugged his barf bag close. Once he remembered that it was a barf bag he quickly threw it on the ground. Walter looked crestfallen. He looked over at his girlfriend, who looked absolutely furious. She stomped over to Zane and grabbed him by the collar and started to shake him.
"You did this, didn't you?" Viktoriya shouted in his face.
"No, I didn't," Zane spat.
Viktoriya chocked him harder. "I know you did! I'll—"
She was stopped by Jamie, who had kicked her in the leg. She fell to the floor and clutched her leg. She looked up at Jamie, who looked very mad.
"I don't like it when people hurt my friends," he said bitterly.
"Yeah? Well I'm not to keen on people voting my boyfriend off when we had JUST gotten together. I mean, who does that?"
Lucian spoke up. "I actually think that's happened every time. Aidan and Deylanie got together in the Alps, and then in London, Aidan was gone. Daniel and Georgie hook up in Greece, and then split up in Nevada. Xavier and Aria got together for real in the very same episode he was eliminated."
"Thanks for the reminder," Daniel and Aria muttered.
Viktoriya stood up and pointed a finger in Zane's face. "This isn't over, you scum!"
Zane sighed deeply and looked down at his feet.
Walter walked over to Viktoriya, gave her a big hug, and then gave her the most romantic kiss ever.
"Wow," she said, blushing.
"Just remember that when you go and win this show, okay?" Walter said, winking.
Chris tossed him his parachute and helped him strap it on.
"I'll miss you all," Walter said, waving. "Aria, you're a pretty cool girl. Daniel, you're a stand-up guy. Emma, you... uh," he paused and then blushed. "Try and keep it on... I mean together! Jamie, you're a sweet guy, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Lucian, man, the second you come back, I leave. That's life for you. Viktoriya? You're my girl and I'll be rooting for you until the end."
Before he could jump out, he finally said, "Oh and Zane?"
The strategist raised brow.
Instead of saying something, Walter flipped Zane off before he jumped out.
"And so another couple has been torn apart by my wonderful little game," Chris said, "and who will be torn apart next week right here on Total... Drama... Woooooorld Toooooour!"
...
...
...
(Earlier - In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Aria sighed deeply and stamped Walter's passport. "I'm sorry, little dude, but Emma will expose me if I don't do what she says... If you were in my shoes, you'd understand. And I'm sorry, Lucian, but I can't vote for her... not this week."
...
Daniel shrugged and stamped Jamie's passport. "Emma told me that we should start eliminating the threats, and I guess Jamie is... not physically, of course, but he is pretty popular. And knowing Chris, he'd make the winner decided by a vote again."
...
Emma grinned and stamped Walter's passport. "It's too bad my flirtation didn't work to strain Viktoriya and Walter's relationship. Ah well. Walter's got to go soon anyway, so why not now? And his absence is sure to weaken Viktoriya, too. Viktoriya is a sure thing to win this show, but she's immune. So I instead weaken her by voting off her boyfriend. Like I said: One by one, they'll all go down."
(Static cut)
"Oh, and for the record," Emma added in, "that dress thing? Yeah, total accident! I'm not a /censored/, there's no way I would do that for this show! I'm no Heather!"
...
Jamie sighed. "I don't know who to vote for. Everyone left is so nice. I guess I'd have to say Lucian." He stamped his passport. "The guy has the upper hand since he's been watching the show."
...
Lucian furiously stamped Emma's passport. "There's enough tension among the group where I don't have to worry about anyone else getting more than two votes, except maybe Zane. But with my vote and Aria's, I'm hoping that it will be enough to send that bitch home! Watch out, Emma. Your reign of terror is over!"
...
Viktoriya frowned. "I would like to vote for Zane, but why not keep him on a bit longer? He's no threat compared to me, since everyone hates him. Jamie's a sweet guy, but a huge threat." She stamped Jamie's passport.
...
Walter stamped Zane's passport. "It's about time this jerk was sent home! And since nobody else has any real enemies, he's a sure thing to go home!"
...
Zane sighed deeply and looked between Emma's and Walter's passports. "Even I have standards. Walter hasn't done anything to really piss me off. I don't think he's that much of a threat either... so I don't get it, Emma. Why him?" He sighed and stamped Walter's passport. "I'm sorry."
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cargo Hold)
A rat skittered along the floor of the cargo hold, its tiny nose hovering a few centimeters above the ground, twitching as it sniffed for any trace of food. The rat perked its head up as it caught whiff of something. A nutty smell filled its nostrils, along with a faint touch of vanilla and sugar.
The rat clacked its teeth together excitedly and made a beeline toward the origin of the heavenly aroma.
After following its nose for a while, the rat found itself standing in front of a large duffel bag. A small white card, encased in a plastic sheath, was fastened to a low-hanging zipper. The rat cocked its head to the side and read the two words printed on the label: Lucian Rodgers.
Though the rat had no idea what a "Lucian Rodgers" was, it had decided that it smelled quite delectable, and that was enough for him. Standing on its hind legs, the rat reached for the zipper and tugged at it with his little hands. After a small bit of effort, the zipper began to plunge downward, creating a small opening.
The rat squeaked excitedly and wriggled his way into the suitcase. Once inside, the aroma intensified, and the rat salivated longingly. It walked closer and closer to the smell's point of origin, nose raised. A few more steps, and the rat found itself standing in front of a small pile of macadamia nut cookies.
He squeaked and ran his nose across the length of one, savoring the smell of gluten and vanilla extract. He opened his mouth and extended his teeth, ready to take a bite.
... until.
"Back off, Jack."
The rat froze, the fur on the back of his neck standing on edge. He whipped his head in the direction of the voice, and yelped. Even in the darkness, the rat could make out the shape of two large, angry eyes staring down at him.
"These cookies," the figure said, grabbing at the small pile, "are mine."
The rat squeaked, obviously terrified, and scuttled back toward the bag's opening. He clambered out of the tiny hole, crashing clumsily to the floor of the cargo hold, and sped off down the corridor, too afraid to look back.
Inside the duffel bag, the figure chuckled and brought a cookie to their lips. "Get ready, Chrissy," they said. "I'm gunnin' for ya."
...
...
...
End of Chapter Twenty One/Episode Nineteen.
...
...
...
Next Location: China.
Remaining Contestants: Aria, Daniel, Emma, Jamie, Lucian, Viktoriya, Zane
Elimination Order: Xena, Lucian, Jerome, Shaylie, Aidan, Holly, Deylanie, Georgie, Xavier, Walter.
...
Team Incredible Chris: Aidan (Eliminated), Daniel, Xavier (Eliminated), Holly (Eliminated), Emma, Jerome (Eliminated)
Team Einstein: Walter, Deylanie (Eliminated), Shaylie (Eliminated, returns as intern), Lucian (Eliminated, will return), Viktoriya.
Team Equality: Jamie, Aria, Xena (Eliminated), Zane, Georgie (Eliminated)
Merge: Aria, Daniel, Emma, Jamie, Lucian, Viktoriya, Walter (Eliminated), Zane
[1] - Translates to "You stupid son of a bitch, I'll claw your eyes out."
[2] - I never saw the movie, but I heard it was terrible. Watch at your own risk.
[3] - Viktoriya got Sierra's dress, Aria got Heather's dress, Zane got Blaineley's dress, and Emma got Courtney's dress.
[4] - This translates to "Are you okay? I'm okay."
[5] - This translates to "My dress? It's beautiful, I know."
[6] - Chris cuts off Viktoriya from saying something a lot dirtier... Yeah, you know what it is.
Author's Note: My apologies to the house master, aka the creator of Walter. He had a great run, but has been subjected to being the first contestant voted out in the merge. On the bright side, he ranks eighth place! That's pretty admirable, if I may say so myself. I liked Walter and his relationship with Viktoriya is great... Sigh.
Also, credit for the cargo hold scene and the Jamie-Zane tightrope scene, along with the songs obviously, were written by Jamie am I. He's one talented dude!
Thanks for the reviews, everyone!