I had to admit- Scott's idea of taking me to the Hale's house to cheer me up was a solid idea.

I didn't say much in the car on the ride over. He didn't seem to mind much though. He was satisfied with the short sentence he got from me earlier, and a little smug that I had given up on giving him the silent treatment.

I was still mad at him, and the only reason I hadn't lashed out at him yet was because I was mad about something selfish.

Scott pulled the car into the familiar driveway, and we walked to the front door. I rung the bell, and one of the twins, Luke I think, answered the door.

I was very tense around all the kids; I was overwhelmed, and worried I might lose control. Rebecca offered Ellie to me to hold, something she was used to me loving to do, but I shook my head and excused myself to the bathroom.

I shut the door and looked down at my hands, which were shaking. I made my way to the sink and splashed some water on my face, trying to calm myself.

I could tell Rebecca and Derek were on edge as well; I'm sure he told her everything that happened, and I don't blame them for being nervous about me being around the screaming kids.

After rubbing my eyes vigoriously, I opened them, and couldn't believe what flashed before me in the mirror before disappearing.

I saw myself.

Covered in sickeningly red blood.

With claws out and fangs showing.

It was gone in an instant, but I knew what I saw.

A knock at the door made me jump, then I heard Jenson's voice. I could tell it was him by his slight stutter.

"Do you want to come look at my new train set?" he called through the door.

I should've just told him I would later, but I told him I'd be out in a minute.

I'd never had a panic attack before, but I had a feeling I was about to have one. I tried to rememeber something Scott told me a long time ago, when we first started dating and I had just found out about what he was. I asked him how he stayed in control, and he told me something about how hard he had to focus, and how sometimes he repeated a chant or something, over and over again.

But for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was.

I didn't have much time, so I came up with three things. Well, three names.

Three people that just understood me, and never judged me. Three people that made me happy, and that I loved wholeheartedly.

Luke.

Jenson.

Ellie.

I whispered it to myself several times, until my breathing steadied, and I stopped shaking.

You're in control.

Within five minutes of messing around with the twins' new train set, and listening to their cute laughs, I had distracted myself from the thoughts that had been constantly preying on my mind the last few days.

Luke had given me a small green train to drag across the wooden tracks, and I happily played with the boys until Derek had to come into the playroom and tell us dinner was ready.

The twins groaned, but stood up obediantly when they saw their father's stern face.

I got up off the floor and went to follow the little boys out, but Derek placed his hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks.

"Please don't ask me if I'm okay." I said quietly, avoiding his gaze.

He sighed, in that way only he did, and spoke gently.

"I don't have to. It's not hard to see that you're miserable, Lani."

My eyes met his, but I didn't say anything. He took that as a que to keep going.

"I can garuntee you that things won't get better if you keep moping around and refusing to talk. Trust me, I tried that for a long time, and it didn't make things any easier."

This time, he's waiting for me to talk. I have a feeling he won't let me walk out until I spill my feelings to him.

Sometimes Derek can be such a know-it-all.

"I killed people, Derek. A lot of people."

He just stood there, knowing I wasn't finished.

"And right after I got bit, I...I wished that I wouldn't survive."

Another second or two.

"From the beginning, I never wanted to be like this."

Derek nodded, staring at me sadly.

"Why have you been ignoring Scott?" he asked curiously.

I sucked in a breath, which I hoped went unnoticed by Derek.

"I guess it's just my way of coping with everything." I said, which was half-true.

He shook his head slightly, and I knew he heard my heartbeat rise, a telltale sign I was lying.

"Tell me the truth."

I didn't respond, because I couldn't seem to make the words come out of my mouth.

Realization flashed across his face, "You blame Scott, don't you?"

I didn't need to say anything; Derek could tell by the look on my face that he was right.

"I just...I wonder what my life would be like if Scott and I hadn't met. Would I have stayed in Beacon Hills? Gone to college?"

Derek looked at me for a long few seconds, as I he were trying to read me, figure me out.

"You need to talk to Scott about this."

I let out the slightest of groans, and he gave me the same hard look he gave the twins.

"Lani?" he said, using his 'dad voice'.

"...Yeah?" I asked, my voice high.

"Talk to him."

"Lani!"

The sudden loud noise made me jump. I still wasn't used to my hyper-sensitive hearing.

"Come sit next to me!"

I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it was only Jenson shouting to me from his seat at the table.

I glanced at Scott, who was sitting next to Luke at the other side of the table, and holding Ellie. He gave me a small smile and a nod, and it looked so genuine. These past few days, it seemed like he had almost given up, and any interactions we had were cold and somewhat weak.

The look he gave me just then made me feel even guiltier.

I sat quietly next to Jenson, across from Scott, and listened to the conversation him and Rebecca were having. Derek sat at the end of the tabe, opposite Rebecca, and shot me a quick look, silently asking if I was alright.

I gave him a slight nod, and he looked up at his wife, then smiled.

"Let's eat!"

After several minutes of convincing, I managed to get both Derek and Rebecca out into the backyard to play with the kids, while I cleaned up the mess from dinner.

Once the table had been cleaned off, and the leftovers put in the fridge, I started on the dishes. It felt nice to be productive for the first time in days, and I made a mental note to try and keep myself busy, thinking it might distract me from...well, everything.

As I rinsed the suds off a plate, I heard the back door open, and knew it was Scott coming to the kitchen, even before he stepped through the archway.

I didn't turn around; just kept scrubbing and rinsing.

"You feeling better?" he asked, hopefulness in his voice.

I thought about it for a moment, then nodded my head.

"Mmhm."

I listened to his footsteps as he made his way to stand beside me. He leaned against the counter, and I glanced at his face for a minute, before turning my attention back towards the dishes.

"Y'know, you'll feel a lot better once you start talking to me again." Scott said after a few moments.

He's got a point.

Ugh, why does he have to be right so much?

I sighed quietly and set the cup back down into the sink.

Just talk to him!

Good god, woman.

"I know, Scott."

He visibly perked up at my words, obviously seeing them as progress.

"I promise I won't be mad, or...or angry. No matter what, I will listen and help as much as I can."

I felt the corners of my lips twitch into a smile, and I admittedly felt a bit of weight lift off my shoulders.

And that's when I spilled my guts to Scott; telling him how scared I was, of myself and what others might think about me. I eventually made it to the other thing that was bothering me.

The selfish thing.

"Lani, I...I don't blame you for being angry with me." he said, after silently listening to me ramble on and on for way too long.

I was surprised, and yet, not surprised at all. Of course he wouldn't be mad, or offended. He's to much of a good person to be mad at me.

"You don't?" I asked quietly.

He shook his head, "I've always known that you never wanted to be involved in all this. And I thought maybe you wouldn't have to. But, then all this shit happened, and it happened anyway. And to be honest, I've been pretty angry with myself too, for letting it happen. Back when it first started, when the shapeshifter showed up, I wondered if it would've been better if I never went on that date with you."

During Scott's whole speech, I stared at him with a sad expression. I felt bad enough thinking those things myself, but hearing him say that he felt that way made my heart break.

"Hey, why are you crying?" he asked, his voice immedietely softer and gentler.

I didn't even realize that I was, but he reached his hand up to my face, wiping away a tear I didn't know was there. As soon as he started to put his hand down, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, burying my face into his chest.

I had forgot how much I missed hugging him, and I felt warmth spreading through my chest.

"I love you so much, Scott," I said, pulling back enough to look at his eyes, "And I don't regret meeting you."

A smile spread across his adorable face; the biggest smiled I'd gotten from him in a long, long time.

"I love you too, Lani."

"No, Lani. Don't! Please stop!"

I recognized the voice somewhere in the back of my mind, but I was to busy with the task at hand.

"This isn't you! Lani, listen to me!"

A small part of me wondered if maybe I should listen to this person, but the urge to rip their throat out was much bigger.

Finally, a face came into view, and I was confused for a minute when I saw Scott.

Why would I want to kill him?

Again, that need to sink my claws into his flesh overcame me, and I let out a growl as I lunged forward.

"Stop! Lani, wake up!"

It was Scott's voice again, but much, much louder this time.

My eyes flew open, and the first thing I saw were my hands. My claws were out, and about an inch from sinking into Scott's neck; the only thing stopping them was his hands wrapped tight around my wrist.

I gasped as I realized what had happened, and I practically jumped off the bed, putting distance between my boyfriend and I.

"Oh my god, Scott. I'm so sorry! I was having a nightmare and I just..." at this point I was close to sobbing, because almost killing Scott had kind of traumatized me.

He shot out of bed as well, walking towards me and taking my shaking hand.

"Shh, don't worry. Calm down. I'm okay, I promise."

I looked down at my hands again, my breathing getting even harder when I realized my claws weren't shrinking back down, and I had no idea how to make them.

"Sc-Scott. What do I do? I...I c-can't..." I was turning hysterical.

He kept trying to calm me down, and eventually I did enough to listen to his instructions.

"The ability to do it is there, you just have to find it." he told me, his voice steady.

I squinted my eyes at him, "What the hell do you mean? How do I find it?" I asked frantically.

"Just try. You'll get it, I know you will."

I groaned and shut my eyes, thinking it through in my head.

Just...do it, I guess.

I tried my best to imagine the claws contracting, and my hands looking normal again.

"Hey, Lani. Open your eyes." Scott told me softly.

I did as he said, smiling slightly when I saw my purple-painted nails.

"I told you. All you had to do was find it." he said, smiling down at me.

I breathed a sigh of relief, looking back at the bed, remembering how exhausted I was.

"Hey, Scott?" I asked quietly as we settled back into bed.

"Hm?"

I hesitated for a minute, then spoke.

"It might be a good idea for you to...teach me how to, y'know, control everything."

I could practically hear Scott smiling as he spoke.

"I'd be happy to."

And with that, I kissed his cheek and laid back against my pillow, falling asleep once more.

A/N It's finally HERE! I know, I know, it's been a while, but in case you didn't know, life is batshit crazy. I'm doing my best to update, but it just gets hard sometimes to write, especially when I'm going to have to say goodbye to this story pretty soon.

But, let's not dwell on that quite yet.

Thanks to everyone who has followed and favorited. I love all of you!

And a special shout out to RainbowPotter for the FANTASTIC review! It made me so incredibly happy, and I just wanted to thanks again.

I promise I'm working on the next chapter, just don't give up on me!

- Maria