-Chapter 21-

Lost

"Welcome ladies, to the Host Club's Fairytale Ball."

There was applause all around me as Tamaki bowed and the music began. So it's finally time. The guests had all arrived and the Hosts and I were situated on the stairs facing the room. We slowly made our way downstairs and were bombarded by requests to dance. How is this going to work? There are so many girls here, and only eight of us.

"Caven, would you like to dance." I turned to see a regular of mine, Kiki. She was dressed in a yellow ball gown that had a sash around her waist. All of the girl's here had ball gowns on. Frills, lace, and sparkle swirled around me in a mob. It was like a unicorn threw up.

I bowed and held out my hand. "It would be my honor, Miss Kiki." She giggled and took my hand. I spun her onto the floor and we joined the other hosts. It was kind of weird dancing with another girl, maybe that's why Haruhi hung out around the food table. Or maybe she was just hungry. She has been eyeing the tuna since it was set up…

"You're a wonderful dancer, Caven." Kiki told me. A light blush was on her cheeks. "Who were you taught by?"

"My dad, actually." I smiled and led her into a dip. "My father's side is wealthy, but he wanted to make a life on his own and moved to the states."

"Really?" She asked in a surprised tone.

I laughed. "Yes. He met my mother there, and when my brother and I were old enough he taught us what he had learned. Your footwork is exquisite though."

Her blush deepened and we continued to dance. As soon as the song ended another began and I was dancing with a new girl. I recognized her, but I could not remember her name. Tamaki said that if I could not remember a young ladies name, use pet names.

That creep.

We were about half-way into the night when I had to stop. I slipped outside and onto the balcony. It was empty out here. Everyone was inside enjoying the festivities.

I walked down the stairs, off the balcony, and into the courtyard. I reached my destination. A large tree. I stepped onto a nearby bench and jumped. My arms made contact with a low branch and I pulled myself up. Above me was another branch and I pulled myself up again. I was a good 15 to 20 feet off the ground as I crawled to the trunk and leaned against it. It was so peaceful out here. Crickets were chirping and I could hear running water from somewhere. The sun had long since set and the lights in the trees lit up everything around them. Too bad I would have to go back in soon. I sighed and rested my cheek in the palm of my hand.

"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"

I looked down quickly to see Kaoru standing below me with a wide grin on his face. I laughed, "Ay me!"

He laughed and raised his arms.

"She speaks!
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air."

I laughed again and Kaoru smiled. "I need to tell you something, but give me a second." He puffed out. Apparently he'd been running. And he just recited Romeo and Juliet, which was definitely quite a mouthful.

"How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath? Is the news good or bad, answer to that?"

Kaoru looked up at me like I was crazy and we burst out laughing. "Okay, you got me." He said chuckling. "Tamaki was looking for you."

"Hmm… I can not tell if that is good news or bad." I said seriously and lifted my hand to hold my chin. I probably looked like that one statue, The Thinker.

Kaoru laughed this time and sat down on the bench below my branch. He tossed a white jacket to the side and looked up at me. "I heard from Kyoya-sempai that you hate fairytales. Is that true?"

I raised my arm to my heart and feigned shock. "Of course not! Why wouldn't I love a cheesy love story where the main character is always a lovely young woman with a big heart, and something else, who doesn't even care if she is kept in a tower for her entire life, as long as she finds her prince?" I batted my eyelashes at the end and pretended to swoon. It must look really stupid because I do look a like a guy and I am in a tree.

Kaoru watched in amusement from below, a smirk tugging at his lips. Even though it was an action I was used to, seeing as the twins turned out to be total hooligans, the smirk didn't seem to fit right on Kaoru's face. "I thought all girls wanted to be a princess." He lay down on the stone bench and crossed his arms beneath his head.

I mimicked his position, only I was on my stomach so I could look down on him. Just like the other hosts, he looked amazing. He had on high collared dress shirt that had gathered sleeves at the elbow and wrist. His shirt tail tucked out from beneath an orange vest that had some kind of pattern on the inside. Around his neck was a loose bow tie in a darker shade of orange. His pants were white pinstriped and tucked into black boots. Off to the side of the bench was the white coat from earlier. I think Hikaru was dressed the same, only in blue. "I'm sure most girls do, but I don't know what delusion they're under. What's so great about being a princess?"

He shrugged, his shirt scraped against the rock. "The servants, the money, the dresses… What's not to like?" He questioned wryly.

"Hmm…" I ran my hand unconsciously through my hair, causing my bangs to fall into my face again. "I guess I'm just not into that stuff. I would hate having someone waiting on me hand and foot. I grew up valuing the worth of money, so to see it wasted so frivolously is disgraceful. Also, do you want to be shoved into a glittery ball gown that's more like a marshmallow with sleeves?"

Kaoru laughed loudly, the sound spread across the courtyard and made me smile. "I see your point, but I don't think that's the main reason."

I could feel my face fall into an expression of confusion. "How'd you tell?"

"The Host Club and I know you well enough by now." He said simply. Even from this high up, I could see the seriousness in his eyes.

I sighed and rolled onto my back. Not an easy feat on a tree limb, but this was a big tree. We sat there for a few minutes and I was surprised that Kaoru didn't question me again. I saw a movement from the corner of my eye on the balcony. When I turned to look more closely, there was nothing there. I finally decided to answer Kaoru. "I guess it's the false hope the stories give people." I whispered. I would be surprised if he heard me.

"What do you mean?" He sounded confused.

I looked up at the stars above me, at least, where they should be. It was a clear sky, and I would be able to see all the stars if there weren't so many lights. "Nobody ever gets a happy ending. We don't live in an ideal world, nothing is ever perfect. The princess doesn't always get her prince." I murmured and sat up; still looking at the sky I let my legs swing beneath me. It was a full moon tonight. "Sometimes the dragon prevails."

There was silence below me and I looked down to see Kaoru staring at me. He wasn't looking at me in confusion, or like I was a weirdo, his eyes were soft and he was smiling. Those eyes… they were so warm. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt safe.

"You're right." He spoke lowly, still keeping his eyes locked with mine. "The world isn't perfect. Sometimes good people are hurt and bad ones prosper. The key is to move on. To look on the bright side of things."

I frowned. "Some things don't have a bright side." Why was I talking about this with him? What did he know of hardship?

He sat up on the bench. "Everything has a silver lining; you just have to look for it. No matter how thin, it's always there."

I shook my head and looked back to the sky. "Sometimes you're too deep in the dark to see it."

"That's when the light finds you." I looked down slowly again to see Kaoru still gazing up at me, the same gentle look on his face. "Darkness is nothing but the absence of light. Nobody can live without light, so there always has to be some there, even if you can't see it."

I just stared at him, tears welling in my eyes. To think that someone like Kaoru could say something like that. "Kaoru, I-"

"Caven!" I spun quickly towards Tamaki's voice. Let me tell you this, a very stupid move. My left leg slipped off the branch first, then the right. I reached out to grab the limb but missed it. Nothing was in slow motion as I fell, everything was quick. There was screaming from somewhere nearby and I could hear someone calling my name. No, not my name, my brother's name.

"Caven!"

I shut my eyes and flashes of memory went through my mind. Screaming, falling. So many people and so much noise. That awful noise. I was the only one who didn't scream. It was so quick, but so long.

Something wrapped around me and I hit. I hit hard. Definitely not hard enough to break anything, but enough to knock the breath out of me with an audible gasp.

"Caven!"

"Kaoru!"

Kaoru. I tried to get my eyes open, but I couldn't. Screaming, that's what I heard. Lots of screaming.

Make it stop.

That awful screaming.

"Caven!" Something was lifted off of me. "Caven!"

Eyes. Why can't I get my eyes open?

"Cailyn!"

Why can't I get out of the darkness? Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe I'm always supposed to be in darkness. Kaoru said that people can't live without light. Does that mean I'm the living dead?

No. I'm worse off than dead.

I'm lost.

Hello again! Okay, new chapter, let me know how you think of it.

I'm sorry if it seems like the chapters are kind of fillery. I promise that they have a purpose... at least I think they do. I am thinking of writing some short stories about Caven and the Host Club when this story is over. Let me know any ideas about that too. This story still has a little while before being over though.

Well... please leave comments if you want, and I'll be posting within the week.

*Oooh, thunderstorms. They're better not be a tornado. God, I hate living in Missouri. How does the sky turn so freakin' black?*

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC or its characters, just my own.