Chapter 21

Jessica woke the next morning feeling refreshed, until what had happened the previous night came back to her. She replayed the sight of Jeff crashing through the ladder to the ground and they way she felt when she looked at him lying on the mat. She had been afraid that he had been seriously hurt; she was afraid that she had lost him again. Then there was the fight in the hallway, all she wanted to do was run but Jeff wouldn't let her. Then he kissed her and all the anxiety and pain fell away leaving nothing but passion building inside her. She had wanted more, but they were interrupted and Jessica saw her face. She knew immediately that had been Jeff's girlfriend. She could tell by the look of pain in her face from witnessing their kiss. Jessica needed to talk to someone. She picked up the phone and dialed Amy.

"Hello?" She heard her voice come over the phone.

"Ames?"

"Jess? Hey how's it going? I didn't see you on RAW Monday, is everything okay?" She asked her.

"I kissed him."

"You kissed who?"

"Come on, who do you think? Jeff."

"You kissed Jeff? When?" Jessica filled her in on what had been happening since she last saw them.

"And then we kissed."

"Oh my god. Honey I told you to take it slow." Amy said.

"I know. It just happened and then his girlfriend saw us and he went after her."

"Wait, he kissed you and then went after Meg?" Amy asked angrily.

"Yea."

"That ass."

"No, it's not like that. I told him to."

"Jess, why?"

"Because, she's his girlfriend, Amy how could I do that?" Jessica asked.

"You have to ask? Did you talk to him?"

"No. I was a wreck when we got back. I just fell asleep. I don't even know what time he got back."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know."

"Do you love him?" Amy asked her.

"I" Jessica hesitated.

"Do you still love him?" She repeated.

"I think so."

"Then talk to him. You guys got to deal with this. Sit down, and tell him how you feel."

"But Amy, this isn't the time."

"This is exactly the time. God, you could be so dense."

"I'm putting him in danger."

"Jess, he can handle it. So can you, together." She told her friend. "Now hang up with me, and go talk to him."

"I love ya." Jessica said.

"Yea, well next time let's have this talk a little later in the day okay? Christ girl, some of us like to sleep."

"I'm sorry." Jessica laughed.

"No you're not. I'm going back to bed. Goodnight."

"Good morning." Jessica joked with her and hung up the phone. She got up and took a shower wanting to make sure she looked presentable when she saw him. She took a quick look in the mirror and fixed her hair before heading to the door. She opened the door and Jeff was already there in the entry way.

"I uh." He started.

"Hi." Jessica said.

"Hi. I was just checking to see if you were awake."

"I'm awake. I was" They were both talking at the same time and they laughed.

"I think we should talk." Jeff said to her as he stepped into her room.

"Sure." She said and they sat down on the bed. At first they just stared at one another, each too afraid to speak. Jessica thought back to what Amy said. She wanted to just tell him how she feels, but she wasn't sure if she could handle it if Jeff didn't feel the same. To be honest with herself she wasn't sure she could handle it if he did.

"So where do we start?" Jeff finally asked.

"I don't know." She paused.

"I spoke to Matt last night, when I got back. He said you felt bad about what happened last night."

"It wasn't right." She said to him. "What we did."

"Why?"

"Because of her. You have a girlfriend and I know that, but I kissed you anyway. When I saw the look on her face I felt horrible. I was there, you know? I've felt that pain before and I had caused someone else to feel it. So, I guess I was disgusted with myself."

"I know me too. This wasn't the way I wanted any of this to happen and the last thing I ever wanted to do was to make you feel bad. I'm sorry." He said to her.

"You know, we both seem to have a habit of apologizing. I don't know about you but I'm getting really tired of saying it." She looked at him and finally said it. "Where did we go wrong?"

"Where didn't we?"

"No. I want to know where you felt we went wrong. Please because Jeff, if we're gonna move forward in any way, we got to settle this. Why did you cheat on me?"

"I don't know." He said and ran his fingers nervously through his hair. "No, that's not true. I thought I was losing you. We had been drifting apart. I knew that there was something going on with you and as hard as I tried, I couldn't get through. So I stopped trying. I thought you were gonna leave me, and I was afraid of being alone. I was stupid and immature, so instead of trying to fix us, I decided to drink our problems away."

"It didn't work. Then one night after we fought, it happened. I had gotten really drunk, and there was this girl's phone number sitting on my desk. I didn't want to be alone, so I called it. We got together and one thing led to another." Jeff stopped not sure if he should go on.

"Did you regret it?"

"I hated myself."

"Good." Jessica said surprising herself that she felt so angry. "That was wrong I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's your turn."

"You know, growing up, the McMahon's were basically the only family I had. My parents argued constantly and I learned fairly early when I was young that the best way to deal with it was to shut it all out. It hurt less that way. When my dad split, I only got worse but when we were together, in the beginning, I was the happiest I had ever been. I loved you; you were my world. Then the threats started coming and I panicked. I listened to this guy's words and taunts and I started to believe them. I couldn't handle it, so I did the only thing I knew."

"You shut us out." He said and she nodded.

"I knew it wasn't right. I saw what it was doing to everyone, I just didn't know any other way. Then there was you. It hurt me so much when I saw what I was putting you through. I knew you were losing it. You were drinking more and messing up in the ring. I wanted so much to tell you what was going on, for us to be good again, but I was just too scared. When I found out you cheated on me, any hope I had came crashing down. I was so hurt, I couldn't talk to anyone. I let him get to me so much that soon he was the only one left."

"So where do we go from here?" Jeff asked her. "Is there anything left?"

"That night, when I tried to kill myself, I thought about us. I couldn't get you out of my head. I wanted to call you but I didn't have the nerve. I was so sure that that was how it had to end but I didn't want you to feel responsible and I didn't want you to think I didn't care about you. So I called Stephanie. I made her promise to tell you everything, and to tell you I still loved you."

"She never said anything."

"I know. In the hospital, when I was finally a little sane, I made her promise not to say anything."

"Why?" He asked her.

"I was ashamed of what I had done. I wasn't ready. I just guess I never figured it would take me that long to be ready to face everything. Then Shane told me that you were involved with someone, and that you were really happy. I didn't want ruin that. Which apparently I just did."

"You didn't." He said.

"She's okay with what happened?"

"No, but you didn't ruin it. I did."

"I shouldn't have done it. Since I've come back, I've done nothing but cause problems for everyone."

"Meg and I are not your fault. We had been having problems for awhile. I just couldn't bring myself to end it."

"Because you loved her?"

"Because, if we broke up, I'd have to deal with what I really wanted." He took her hand. "You. It's always been you."

"Jeff," she started.

"Look, I can't take back what I've done. No matter how much I want to. What's done is in the past but I don't regret kissing you last night and I know you felt that there was something there too. So, I need to know how you feel."

"It hurt me a lot when you cheated on me, I didn't know how I would ever get over it. I don't know if I could go through that again." Jeff nodded and stood up to leave.

"I'm not done," She reached out to stop him. "I don't know if I could go through that pain again, but I do know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life without kissing you like that."

"Thank god." Jeff said and pulled her into his arms. This time when their lips met they made it count. They fell back on the bed as they kissed away all the pain that they had been building up since the moment they said goodbye, over three years ago.

"Hey." There was a knock on the door. "Are you guys in there." They jumped up as Matt came in the room. "What's going on?"

"Hey Matt." Jeff said. Matt looked at the two of them and realized what was going on.

"Sorry dude. Didn't mean to interrupt but we have to hit the road. So I'll uh wait for you next door." Matt said and quickly left the room. Jessica and Jeff laughed.

"I think we were busted." Jeff said.

"Your brother has perfect timing." She said as he helped her up.

"I guess we got to get going, then." Jeff said.

"Yup, I got shot gun." She said to him and ran out of the room.

"Hey wait, that's not fair. Besides all you ever do is fall asleep when we're on the road. Then I got to spend the rest of the ride staring at the back of Matt's head."

"Aw, poor baby. Let's go." When they got down to the lobby Stephanie and Shane were waiting for them. They promised they would be careful and call if there were any problems. Jessica gave both of them a hug then she saw Shane and Jeff shake hands.

"What was that about?" She asked as they headed to the car.

"We talked. I guess we sort of made peace last night."

"You did?"

"Yea well we both have the same interests, you." He told her taking her hand.

"I'm glad," She said and kissed him. "But you're still not sitting up front." He laughed.

"Are we going or what?" Matt asked them. They got into the car and were soon on their way. As predicted they were driving for less than an hour and Jessica fell asleep.

"Man I knew this would happen." Jeff said. "Pull over; I want to sit in front." Matt pulled the car to the side of the road. Jeff got out and gently lifted Jessica and put her in the back. After they had switched, Matt pulled the car back on the road.

"So, I take it things went good this morning?" Matt asked.

"Yea. It did."

"Jeff man, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Do what? Be with Jess? Absolutely. Look, I know you're worried about what's going happen but I can't hide what I feel. Remember back when we were talking about Meg wanting to get married?"

"Yea."

"Well I didn't want to admit it but you were right. Meg was in my life because Jess couldn't be. I never asked Meg to marry me because I knew she wasn't the one and I knew that because I had already known who the one was."

"Jess?" Matt asked.

"Yea. In my eyes, every time I pictured a future she was in it."

"Did you tell her this?"

"What are you insane? I'm trying to get her to let me back into her life. I think marriage is jumping a little too fast, don't ya think?"

"Yea. I'd run." Matt laughed.

"Look, I don't know where Jessica and I will end up. I don't know if we'll ever get married or just fall apart again but I do know that there is enough there to try."

"Well, I wish you guys luck. You're gonna need it. By the way, my warning still stands."

"What warning is that?"

"If you hurt her, I'll hurt you." Matt said and smiled at his brother.

"Yea I know." Jeff said and turned the radio on. They spent the rest of the ride just talking about nothing, till they finally arrived in Cameron. Jeff was relieved to finally be at home. He looked in the back seat at Jessica still sleeping.

"How the hell does she do that?" Matt asked. "Just sleep the entire ride?"

"It's one of her many talents."

"Well you better wake her up because we're almost home." Matt said. Jeff reached into the back and gently shook her.

"Jess, honey, it's time to wake up." Jeff said. She started to stir then finally sat up.

"Where are we?" She yawned.

"We're in Cameron."

"Already?" She looked around. "How'd I get back here?"

"You fell asleep like I said you would."

"Oh, sorry. It must have been all the stimulating conversation." She smiled at him.

"Hey don't make me come back there."

"Ooh, really." She said seductively.

"Excuse me? I'm like right here." Matt reminded them. "Maybe you can save your little innuendos for private."

"Sorry Matty." She reached up behind him and put her arms around him.

"Save it. We're here." Jessica looked out the window as they pulled into the family farm. She smiled at the warmth that this place always gave her. It was a home that Jessica had never been able to understand but had always wanted to be a part of. Matt pulled in front of his house and Jeff got out stretching his legs. He opened Jessica's door and helped her out.

"Well I'll be damned." Jessica turned to see their father coming down the steps.

"Gil." She said and ran over to give him hug.

"We missed you around here." He told her.

"I missed you too." She told him.

"Hey Pop." Jeff said as he came up behind them. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna steal her away and get her settled." He said. He took Jessica's hand and led her into the house.

"How's it going?" Matt said and hugged his father.

"Pretty good." He nodded to the door. "Looks like that's cleared up."

"You know Jeff, he moves fast."

"So how bad is it?"

"Pretty bad." Matt shook his head. "Did you hear about our match?"

"Shannon told me. He said that he and Shane will be by later. Do you really think it's a good time for the two of them to get back together?"

"Probably not, but I'm not gonna stand in the way. It's what Jeff wants and he's real good with Jess. Besides, we wouldn't be able to stop them if we wanted to." Matt told him.

"Yea but he would." Matt recognized the worry in his father's voice.

"Don't worry. We'll be okay. Besides, there's strength in numbers, right?"

"Let's hope." He said as they went inside. Jessica and Jeff were already sitting on the couch. They're bags still on the floor.

"This is getting settled?" Matt asked.

"Absolutely." He said putting his arm around Jessica and raising his feet to the coffee table. "I'm comfortable."

"Yea, well make yourselves at home." Matt slapped Jeff's feet off the coffee table.

"Jess, I set up the room next to Matt's for you." Gil said.

"Thank you." She said.

"Yea thanks Pop." Jeff added.

"I set up the third room for you." He told his son. "Any funny business, you'll be on the couch."

"Who, me?" Jeff asked.

"Just behave. Call me if there's any problem." Gil said and went to the door.

"You're not staying?" Jessica asked him.

"Sorry honey, but this place is gonna be a zoo. I'll be back tomorrow." He said and she went over and hugged him.

"I really did miss you."

"You keep yourself safe. Don't let my boys give you any problems."

"Don't worry about me. I got them wrapped around my finger." She joked and kissed his cheek. She watched him leave and then turned back to the brothers. "So now what?"

"Now we just relax." Matt said. "Dad said Shannon and Shane will be here in a little bit. Things will definitely get crazy then."

"Yea, so what do you want to do?" Jeff looked to Jessica.

"Well I don't know about you, but I haven't been in that ring in years. You up for a little one on one?" She teased him.

"With you? Anytime."

"Please do not do anything dirty in our ring." Matt said.

"Relax. I meant wrestling." Jessica said.

"I didn't" Jeff joked and Matt watched them go outside. He turned on the TV and lay back on the couch trying to rest a little bit. In the back ground he could hear Jeff and Jessica laughing and screaming in the back. Realizing he wasn't going to get any rest, Matt decided to go out and join them. The three of them got so caught up that they never heard the phone ring. The call went to voice mail with an ominous warning:

"I'm not happy…"