Daniel looked up when he sensed someone enter the room he was in. "Hey Duncan."
"Daniel." Duncan studied his friend and saw that he was bothered by something. "Everything alright?"
Daniel smiled halfheartedly, "Yeah I was just remembering some things."
Duncan leaned against the wall across from Daniel, "You want to talk about it?"
"Do you believe in fate?"
Duncan eased himself to the ground, "You mean like is everything we do already pre-determined?"
"Yeah," he told him. Daniel had a lot of things he wanted to resolve, things that Duncan had awakened within his mind and memories.
"Yes and no…" he began as he tried to put into words what he felt and knew.
"We are each the sum of our own experiences. What makes us different from one another is how we decide to live with that experience, what we take from it. In that way, I do believe in fate of the decisions we make. I think if we look back on our lives, the choice we will make is clear. Even if we debate the decision we must make, the final choice we make will be rooted in what we have done in our lives.
"But do I believe in the type of fate where all history has worked together to bring us all together to this one point in time?"
Daniel nodded his head, really wanting to know his answer.
"I'm not sure… I don't think so."
"What about the prophecy you fulfilled? It seems like you were fated to be 'The One.'"
Duncan took a deep breath. "A prophecy is no more than a hope passed from generation to generation. And me? … Well, I just happen to be someone who's friends with a very old Immortal."
Daniel became animated to make a point, "But it can't all be coincidence! The fact that Adam and I met ten years ago and became friends. The fact that I ascended and then de-ascended on Vis Uban. Adam being your friend and turning to you for help. Us working together. If none of that or a thousand other things hadn't taken place we wouldn't be here! Everything in your life has prepared you to undertake what you are! That has to be Fate!" he finished.
"No, I think that is just how things happened to play out in this reality. Remember there are an infinite possible realities out there, you've seen two of them. What happens in one reality is that, it just happens. Another reality is present that covers different circumstances."
"So you're saying we're the only reality that has the Prophecy fulfilled?"
Duncan shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe. Maybe in another reality it is someone else. Maybe in another reality there is no Prophecy… We can't focus on what might have been, we must look at what we have in our lives and decide how we will live our lives. That isn't fate, that's you deciding how to live. The only reality is the one we live in."
Daniel looked down and thought about his words. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts and memories.
Finally Duncan spoke, "What do you remember?"
A startled Daniel looked up, "What do you mean?"
"You're trying to reconcile something I've said with what you learned from Oma Desala. What did you remember?"
"How did you..?"
Duncan smiled, "I can read people… I'm actually surprised it's taken us this long to talk."
"You knew we would have this conversation? How?" Daniel was incredulous.
"I guessed we would have a conversation along these lines… Daniel, you and I shared an experience in ascending. Different circumstances and all, but we were both enlightened in separate ways… What do you remember?" he softly asked him.
Daniel saw his point of view on the matter and realized that they did indeed share something special. He had someone in front of him now who could hopefully explain it all to him.
"Oma said that we only have control over one thing in life – whether we choose to be good or evil… That didn't happen for you did it? With the… the Dark Quickening was it?"
Duncan's face softened as he spoke distantly, "No, not really… For some of us it is a battle that must be fought in our hearts… The power of each fighting over control of your body and soul…"
"What happened?"
"Are you familiar with Native American mythology?"
"A little yes…"
"Do you know of the Hayoka?"
Daniel searched his knowledge, "It's a shaman, right?"
Duncan nodded his head, "The Hayoka was the shaman who absorbed the evil in others. He freed them from the burden of revenge and hatred that they carried in their hearts. In the late 1800's he saved me from continuing on the path of hatred and destruction I was on… I didn't see him for another 120 years…"
"And all that time he kept taking in the evil of people he encountered? Mortal and Immortal alike?" Duncan nodded his head slowly. "What did he do with the evil that he took in?"
Duncan looked up sadly and shook his head.
"It became too much…" Daniel concluded.
"Yes… In trying to save the world by ridding it of evil, he lost himself… The evil consumed him and he was no longer the man he used to be…"
Daniel was amazed at what he was hearing. The man's very being had been changed… The Quickenings he had taken had consumed him… They had told him that the point of the Game was to be the last Immortal standing. Did that mean that the last Immortal would end up being evil and destroy their world? Would all their efforts at the SGC where they tried to save the planet from aliens be fruitless if it was destroyed by an Immortal?
Duncan watched Daniel and the questions that raced across his mind. He saw the amazement and fear flicker across his face.
When the questions and concerns died down in his mind, he noticed Duncan's intense eyes watching him.
"You don't have to worry about that," he reassured the young man.
Daniel watched him. And despite what his mind was telling him, he knew Duncan would protect them. He did believe in Duncan and his abilities.
"Jim never lived with the evil and came to accept its presence in the world and then in himself. He just kept absorbing it and hiding it away… That's why it consumed it. He never allowed himself to confront it…"
"So what happened?"
"I thought I could help him… I couldn't. And so I had to take his head… The evil he had absorbed was now in me… I had no control over what I did… I almost killed Richie who was like a son to me… I don't know why, but I left Seacouver for Paris… I continued with my actions… Showing no respect for others, property, my friends, or myself."
Daniel swallowed, "How did you…?"
"A friend…" Duncan closed his eyes as he thought of his murder of Sean Burns. "He tried to help me and I betrayed him… I took his head… That's what saved me," he revealed as he looked up at Daniel. "Sean Burns was a good man, he had a good soul… He never tried to hurt others, he was a doctor and he just wanted to help others… But he couldn't help me, not the way he had hoped to… It was only in his death and Quickening that something in me reawakened. A part of me that knew what I was doing was wrong. A part of me that didn't want to hurt others like I had…"
Duncan paused and gathered his thoughts before he continued. "Methos never stopped believing in me," he realized. Stowing that thought in his mind, he continued to explain the events that took place eight years earlier. "Methos led me to some hidden springs which had magical powers and-"
"Magical powers?" Daniel asked skeptically.
Duncan smirked, "I would have said the same thing if not for what happened there… I felt my soul separating into the two halves – good and evil. They fought for my soul… The good in me eventually won," he stated.
"How did you move on knowing what you had done?" Daniel asked him.
"You don't… At least not completely… You can't… It became a part of who I am… Daniel do not recall what you have done in your previous life and regret it… You have already unburdened yourself from that life," Duncan told him.
"It's just that I went through so much to ascend and then I did something to come back here… I don't understand why…"
"What is there to understand that you don't already know? Your ascension was just another part of your journey… It didn't stop when you ascended. Daniel, who you are is so ingrained in you that you couldn't stop from interfering and saving Abydos. Embrace that Daniel! No one can judge you… Only yourself."
Daniel's eyes widened, "That's what Oma Desala told me."
Duncan dipped his head in acknowledgement. "That is a part of taking control of your life." Duncan stood up, "You cannot control everything Daniel, but you can control what type of man you are."
As Duncan was about to leave, Daniel called out one last question, "Did you ever want to leave it all behind?"
"Life?"
Daniel nodded his head.
"At times."
"What stopped you?"
A small smile graced his mouth, "My friends." Duncan nodded at Daniel and then left Daniel with his thoughts.
Later that night
SGC
"Hey Daniel, what's up?" Jack asked as he walked into his office.
Daniel looked up from his notes. "Hey Jack," he replied without much emotion.
"You okay Daniel?"
He half nodded his head in response, "Just been thinking…"
Jack was about to make a sarcastic response when he really took notice that Daniel was disturbed by what was on his mind.
"You want to talk about it?"
Daniel looked up at Jack and studied him. He stared at him debating whether or not to broach what was on his mind. He finally did, "You let me go."
Jack was confused, "Huh?"
"I never thanked you for that…"
"For what?"
"For letting me go," he repeated.
Jack stared at him as he tried to figure out what Daniel was talking about. After studying Daniel's face for several minutes he realized what he was talking about. "Daniel-"
"You were a real friend Jack, I know it must have been a hard decision to make."
"You have no idea," he quietly told him.
"You understood why I had to do it though, right?"
"Not really… But…"
"I felt I had to move on and continue my work… As I lay there in the infirmary you guys showed me that I had made a difference. I had to keep on doing that…"
Jack studied his friend, "I get it Daniel… Just don't ever do that to me again," he ordered with a smile.
Daniel grinned back, "Okay."
TBC