He knew he shouldn't avoid them. After all, they were who he'd desired to see the most for so long, weren't they? They'd greeted him with open arms and warm hearts, and he could feel how much they loved him with each embrace, each soft word. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to look any of them in the eyes. He couldn't stand being false to them, but he couldn't bring himself to tell them the truth. Terrified of pitying looks, strained smiles, and tangible disappointment, Lance had resolved never to tell them. However, sour bile rose to his mouth whenever he lied to his family, and he knew they didn't deserve to be told lies. While his guilt chased him from those he loved the most, the fact that most of his teammates were not a lucky as he to have their family with them increased his speed. In an imprisonment camp, forced to labor through all hours of the day, malnourished and abused, Hunk's family slaved away. With one parent deceased and the other fighting in the deep regions of space, Keith had arrived home with no family to greet him. And Allura, her family was dead.
Perhaps these facts should have made him more grateful for his family's safety, but all they truly did was add weight to his already burdened frame. Why should he receive such a blessing if his teammates were denied the same thing? He was neither deserving nor worthy. Thankfully, the preparations and planning to overthrow the Galra gave him millions of excuses to avoid his family. Except, that is, for one member. her in an environment of war and interacting with her in a militaristic style definitely required adjustment on his part, and try as he might, he couldn't stop seeing her as the solemn little bookworm who bought him ice cream every Wednesday after school. After he found out that she'd joined the Garrison after his disappearance, he'd wanted to convince her to leave. To stay with the rest of the family within the Garrison's shields and be safe. The thought that she might encounter situations that he'd endured with an indescribable amount of agony and lingering mental damage haunted him constantly, eating at his mind throughout all hours of the day, refusing him sleep, and gnawing at his sanity. Not that he slept normally or had much sanity left in the first place. At one point, she'd even been on a mission with him, and her words, though feisty and true, did nothing to abate his worries. She wanted to do her part for the world, and she couldn't sit back idly and watch the world burn. Lance knew selfishness motivated his emotions toward her position in the garrison, after all, he didn't know how he could survive her death, but he couldn't shake the paranoia that accompanied him with each step.
"Hey, Lance? Lance? Earth to Lance," Hunk's hand waved in front of Lance's eyes, and Lance realized where he was.
"Oh, sorry, Hunk. I got...distracted," Lance admitted, pulling the sleeves of his garrison uniform down nervously.
"Yeah, I could tell," Hunk noted, not unkindly, as the two of them resumed their gait through the hallway.
The two of them turned a corner and continued down another long hall that seemed to stretch endlessly before them. Despite its length, not a single person was to be seen, which relaxed both of the Paladins.
"Man, these uniforms mess me up," Lance announced after a substantial lapse in their conversation.
"What do you mean?" Hunk inquired, eyeing Lance.
"It feels like we never left, like Voltron was all a really weird, nightmarish fever dream."
"I wouldn't call it a nightmare," Hunk said softly, but Lance shook his head.
"I would."
Lance knew he'd made Hunk uncomfortable, as he often made anyone if he so much as implied anything about his time in captivity or his issues with mental health. But some part of him felt a burst of satisfaction, watching people trip over their tongue as they tried to say something that would come across as both sensitive and respectful, all while wanting to quench their own curiosity about him.
But Hunk only shrugged, "Well, we had different experiences."
And Lance thanked God for Hunk for the millionth time in his life.
"But, yeah, it is weird. I mean, wearing this makes me feel like Iverson is gonna start yelling at me for sleeping in or trying to convince the cook to feed us something edible."
Lance gave him a lopsided grin at that, but it fell off his face when Hunk continued.
"It also makes me feel a lot less capable, like how I used to be," Hunk confessed.
"What do you mean?" Lance wondered.
"Well, I mean, I threw up in a battle simulation once. A simulation," Hunk chuckled to himself, but Lance could see the humiliation and shame in Hunk's gentle eyes.
"I remember that," Lance ducked his head, the event a stain of embarrassment for him as well.
"I tried to brush everything off, making excuses for my mistakes and pretending like it didn't really matter anyway," Lance reminisced. "But I can still feel how deeply disappointed in myself I was."
"You were upset too?" Hunk turned to face him in surprise. "But you acted like it was nothing!"
"Exactly," Lance nodded, "Isn't that what I just said?"
"Yeah, but...I can't believe it. I always thought that kind of stuff didn't get to you," Hunk remarked, bewilderment evident across his face.
Lance laughed a little to himself and shook his head again, "If only."
Hunk stared at him for a moment before giving Lance a disbelieving look and before he returned to walking.
"I was so weak back then," Hunk resumed his original train of thought, "And now, at least I can hold my own in battle. Not that I'm that important though."
"What are you talking about?" Lance declared, his turn to be absolutely shocked.
"You always have our backs! We all rely on you!" Lance told him.
"Yeah, but I mean, I'm not as good a fighter as Keith or as smart as Pidge, and I can't do all that magic stuff that Allura can do," Hunk argued.
"That doesn't mean that you're not important!" Lance spluttered, "I mean, you have skills that no one else has, and you add vital components to the team, I mean you're a great engineer, and you're awesome with people, and if we hadn't had your cooking, we'd have all gone insane. We all have specialties, and we work together to use them. Isn't that the point of being a team?"
Hunk looked at the ground. "Yeah, I guess."
Lance smiled, but before he could say anything more, Hunk raised his head and met Lance's gaze.
"So you're saying that we're all as important as each other and that without one of us, we would be missing a key component."
"Yeah…" Lance acknowledged, suddenly uncertain of where Hunk was heading with this.
"So you admit that you're an important part of Voltron and that we all need you?" Hunk prodded.
Lance was so shocked at Hunk's apparent mood swing that he could only stammer, "Yes-I mean, no. Wait-"
"HA!" Hunk jabbed his finger at Lance's chest and practically glowed in triumph and self-satisfaction.
"Wait, was that whole thing a trap?" Lance demanded, indignation roiling through his insides.
"Well, maybe not all of it," Hunk didn't drop his taunting smile, but before Lance could do or say anything about it, a voice called his name from behind.
"Hey, Lance, I need to talk to you."
Cold dread hit Lance like a block of ice, and his head moved as if in slow motion to see who had spoken, despite knowing their exact identity.
"Veronica," he gulped, his hands limp at his sides.
After a beat of hesitancy between the three of them, Hunk sent Lance a smirk that looked even more smug than Keith's, which looked incredibly unsettling on Hunk's normally unassuming face, and said, "Well, I'll see you two later. I have to go do…..yoga with the Yellow Lion."
Yoga? Of all the excuses? Lance thought bitterly as Hunk rushed off faster than if he had heard there were cookies burning.
"Thanks for helping me win my bet, Lance!" Hunk called over his shoulder, still thriving off of his moment of victory.
Lance felt a spark of irritation at that, and he couldn't help but wonder who had set Hunk up to pull that trick. Probably Pidge.
Lance watched Hunk go with a mixture of anticipation and uncertainty, and he waited a moment before finally centering his attention on his sister.
"What is it that you want to talk about?" Already, his voice sounded weak.
Though his eyes were focused on the space just next to her left ear, he still observed her eyes flash and, when she spoke, the accusation in her voice was unmistakable.
"Why have you been avoiding us?"