A/N: A little gift fic for a favourite artist of mine; Captain Shadoo aka Shadoouge! A small piece of fluff for a huge talent.

Lucy flicked a menacing look at Natsu. "What do you mean, 'No?' " She slid a finger down the smooth expanse of highly decorated porcelain, wrapped her hand around the handle and lifted the teapot. "You don't get to choose." Lucy's voice dropped into a growl. "You are here to pay for the teapot you destroyed, not picking it out."

Happy jumped from Natsu's shoulder and onto Lucy's. "It wasn't all Natsu's fault! You wouldn't let him practice his finishing-move technique."

Natsu did his best to appear innocent; pouting lips and eyes as wide as he could manage. He dipped his head and shuffled his feet. "Lu - shi..."

The blonde shrugged the exceed off her person and cradled the ornate teapot to her chest. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's not big enough."

"Six cups is plenty big."

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"Isn't"

"Is!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"Isn't"

"Is!"

The remaining customers that hadn't scurried out of the store when the trio stormed in now fled. Smiling with an increased grit to her teeth, the middle-aged shop keeper watched the young couple she'd thought sweet argue, louder and louder.

"A-hem." The woman cleared her throat and hobbled out from behind the counter. "How may I serve your needs today?" Mildred used her cane to point to the teapot Lucy still held. "That is a one of a kind work of art. I couldn't help but overhear talk of size."

Lucy blushed and turned her back on Natsu. "I think it's lovely."

Natsu grimaced. "It's too small and fancy."

"Is not!"

"Is!"

"Is not!"

"Is!"

"Is not!"

"Is!"

Lucy saw the knuckles of the business owner whiten, her nails digging into the head of the cane. Dropping this particular argument seemed in her best interests. Lucy glared at her partner and winded him by thrusting the teapot into his gut. Natsu gaped and gasped like a landed fish. He held onto the teapot reflexively.

Lucy smirked. "Hah! Just proved myself right, it's plenty big!"

"N-not fair! I wasn't ready." Natsu pouted, his complaint ignored by Lucy.

"I wish to purchase that teapot." She jerked her thumb at Natsu. "He'll be paying."

From the highest shelf in the shop, Happy called to both Lucy and Natsu. "No! Buy this one instead!" The teapot he pointed to was giant; emblazoned with a fish motif that coiled around the body and had the handle and spout in the form of a fish as well. "It's beautiful!" Happy smacked his lips and drooled.

Natsu pushed Lucy's choice onto a crowded display and grabbed his choice; a 12 cup behemoth of porcelain, painted to resemble flames. "Now this is both weapon and art!"

Hands on hips, Lucy marched over to her favoured teapot. Snatching it up she elbowed Natsu before turning back to the shop keeper. "He's going to pay for this one."

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"But what about the fish one?! It's the best looking one in the whole store!"

Team Natsu glared at one another, absorbed in their argument.

The shop keeper reached her limit. From underneath a counter, she withdrew a modest two cup sized teapot. It was small, but made in a most solid fashion: cast iron to be exact.

"Get the hell out of my shop! Go! Shoo! Be gone and never return!" She brandished her weapon wildly, at times almost breaking her own stock of merchandise. "Git!"

Happy launched himself off his high perch and flew at max speed out of the shop. Natsu let go of his teapot and pried Lucy's choice out of her hands, dragging her out of the now violent older lady's reach.

"C'mon Lucy!" Natsu scooped her up in his arms, rushing out the door.

Grumbling under her breath, the merchant settled her personal teapot back in its spot. "No one ever messes with me twice after I use 'Excalibur'. "