The Uncanny New Mutants

I am Phoenix!: Prologue

Disclaimer- I don't own the X-Men, I only own August.

Shout Outs-

Showstopper- I do have a thing for bringing people back from the dead don't I? From those people that you listed, the only one that was legitimately dead was Psylocke. Deadpool was dead but he came back. Under what circumstance I don't know, cuz the whole thing confuses me. Yup, Rachel IS Back!

Agent-G- Yeah, I always the Cuckoos looked like those scary kids too! For some reason I always imagine them singing that song from 'A Nightmare on Elm Street.' You know the one, 'One, two, Freddie's coming for you...' Maybe it's just because I watch too many movies! I can't wait to see if and when you do a sequel to 'Reality Trip!'

Dark Jaded Rose- I should think you know who it is, I bloody told you! I know, the Cuckoos rule!

Melissarxy1- Yeah, I know, Rahney's all growed up! How many redheaded telepaths are there? Two that I know of. One of them is Jean Grey, but she's dead, and Rachel Summers. I wonder which one it is?

Quote of the day- 'How can I repay you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night-thing...? No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. Y'see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No. Not the hair! Never the hair...! But there must be some way I can show my appreciation... No, helping those in need's my job, and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough... I understand. I have a nephew that's gay. So... Say no more. Evil's afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel- mobile, away!'- Spike, dissing Angel (Angel: In the Dark. The best Spike quote, EVER!!)The sea monkeys have my money...'- Dory (Finding Nemo)

Amara Aquilla's bedroom, The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning-

Amara rolls onto her side and props herself up with her hand. She gazes lovingly at her boyfriend, Pete Wisdom, as he gets dressed.

'Mmm, I've never realised how attractive your backside looks in your boxer shorts Pete!' Amara purrs.

'Well it's not like I've had much chance ter wear them, have I luv?' Pete replies with a lecherous wink.

Amara just smiles and watches as Pete sits down on the bed and puts on his shoes.

'So what're you doing today Pete?' Amara asks. 'Do you want to drive down to Salem Centre and do a spot of shopping?'

Pete snorts in derision.

'As much as I'd love to carry all yer baggage, I'll have ter decline luv, I've got a Danger Room session booked with Kurt, Remy an' Jono.'

'Surely you can cancel.'

'When there's money bet on it? I don't think so!' Pete snorts. 'I'm two-ter- one favourite!'

'I suppose that I'd better let you go.' Amara sighs. 'More money means you can buy me lots many more pretty things!'

'That's my girl!' Pete grins, kissing Amara on the forehead. 'I've got ter go now, luv, there's an elf's arse that's desperately callin' for my boot print on it!'

Kurt and August's room-

Augusts sits up in bed as she watches Kurt potter about the bedroom looking for random pieces of clothing.

'Sit down Kurt, you'll do yourself an injury!' Augusts says.

'Not that I'm unthankful for your concern, Liebe.' Kurt says. 'But there's no need to worry, I've ran this simulation fifteen times before and I'm the present record holder for the longest survival rate!'

'Show off!' August sniffs.

'Now where's my lucky fighting thong?' Kurt asks, looking under the bed.

'Oh Kuuuurt!' Augusts coos. 'I've found it!'

Kurt looks up from the side of the bed and sees August twirling a black thong around her finger.

'Thanks for that!' Kurt sighs. 'That's my lucky fighting thong! It's the same on that I wore when I became record holder!'

Kurt steps forward to take the thong but August moves out of his reach.

'Kiss me and then you can have it!' Augusts says with a lecherous glint in her eye.

Kurt sighs and leans in, kissing her. While Augusts' arms twine around his waist, Kurt snatches the thong out of her hand.

'Thanks!' He grins as he BAMFs away.

'Cheater!' Augusts pouts.

Remy and Rogue's room-

'Why do yah have to take part in this stupid game anyway?' Rogue asks. 'Ah thought yah'd grown out o' that silly phase!'

'Chere, dis ain't a game, it's a matter o' honour! You can't 'spect me to back down when my honours at stake!'

'Ooooh!' Rogue coos. 'Ah love it when yah talk about honour!'

'Sorry chere.' Gambit says. 'But you're feminine wiles ain't gonna tempt de Cajun today!'

'Crap!' Rogue mutters. 'If ah didn't know otherwise ah'd swear that yah were gay!'

Jono's room-

'C'mon Jono! It's time to get up!' Dani Moonstar tells her boyfriend. 'Remember you've got that Danger Room session with Kurt, Remy and Pete coming up soon!'

{Just five more minutes...} Jono groans.

'No such luck Mister!' Dani replies. 'I've got fifteen bucks bet on you so you'd better get your ass out there and win!'

{Bloody 'ell} Jono mutters as he reluctantly gets up out of bed. {Can't a bloke have a minute's peace?}

'No.' Dani replies. 'Now get you butt into gear and win me money!'

{Y'know, for a Native American bird, you sure are hung up a lot on money!}

'What can I say?' Dani grins. 'I'm shallow!'

The Danger Room-

Kurt, Pete, Remy and Jono are in full battle gear. Kurt taps his access code into the Danger Room control panel.

'How long is this gonna bloody take?' Pete asks. 'I want ter get on with it, I've got a sexy bird waiting for me back in bed!'

'I wouldn' say dat, mon frere!' Remy adds. 'It looks like your 'sexy bird' is spectatin' on yo'!'

Pete looks up into the control room and sees Amara waving back at him. August, Dani and Rogue are there too, along with Warlock, Rahne, Shan, Bobby and Jubilee, who all have bets riding on the outcome.

'Hurry up Pete!' Amara calls through the inter-com. 'Go win me some money for pretty things!'

Pete curses under his breath as the simulation starts.

{So what's on the agenda today?} Jono asks. {Brotherhood Battle Royale or Brood Bitch Slap?}

'Just a normal game of hide and seek!' Kurt replies.

'Hide and bloody seek?' Pete asks. 'What are you, five?'

Later-

The game is in full flow. Everybody has split up to hide from the others. In this particular game of hide and seek, nobody is 'it' all you have to do is tag all your opponents before they tag you.

Gambit Vs Nightcrawler-

Remy is sneaking through the simulation terrain of rundown futuristic New York. He peers out of an alley and ducks back in just in time to see a Sentinel pass by. After the gigantic robot has passed, he runs across the way into another alley. Upon reaching the opposite alley he flattens himself against the wall and sneaks along looking for his opponents. Remy's always loved this game, having been trained as a thief from a young age, he knows how to stay quiet and not be caught by those that are looking for you. He turns his head as he hears a garbage can fall over.

'Bad move mon frere.' He grins, charging up a playing card. 'Gambit's got you now!'

'I think not mein freund!' A voice says from the shadows. 'I'm the one that's got you!'

Gambit turns around and throws the card at the sound of Nightcrawler's voice. Unfortunately it explodes harmlessly on a wall.

'Is that the best you've got?' The voice teases.

'Gambit'll show you his best as soon as he finds where yo' hidin'!'

'You talk to much mein freund!' A voice says behind him.

Gambit turns around again just in time to see Kurt appear from the shadows. Before the Cajun can lift up his staff to attack, Kurt pokes him in the chest.

'Bang, mein freund, you dead!'

'Merde!'

Wisdom Vs Chamber-

Chamber hates war games, he's much more happier working as a team. One of the reasons that he hates this game is the fact that he's seriously out-classed! Pete Wisdom was trained in stealth, as was Gambit. Hell, Nightcrawler can blend into the shadows! He hides behind a dumpster as he hears a Sentinel approach. He removes the bandages around his torso and lower face and blasts the Sentinel with a force blast.

{And another one bites the dust!} He grins.

'If you hadn't noticed mate.' A voice says behind him. 'This is a game of hide an' seek! In order not to be seen, you have to hide!'

Chamber slowly turns around and sees that Wisdom is standing in front of him lighting up a cigarette with a 'Hot Knife.'

{I could say the same thing.} Chamber replies. {What if someone saw that cig smoke?}

'I'm covered for that!' Wisdom grins. 'Now are yer goin' ter give up quietly or will I have ter get rough?'

{I'm happy to get rough!} Chamber replies.

'Alright mate, don't say I didn't warn you!' Wisdom replies as he throws his 'Hot Knife.'

Chamber dives out of the way and lest rip with another force blast. Wisdom leaps out of the way and grabs onto a fire escape ladder. Unfortunately, the ladder isn't very secure and it falls to the ground, leaving Wisdom sitting on his butt. He is just about to get up when he is thrown against the wall by another of Chamber's force blasts.

{Well will yer look at that?} Jono 'grins.' {I beat Mister-Tough-Nut-Ex- Black-Air!}

'Yeah, yeah, whatever, mate.' Wisdom pouts. 'Stop rubbin' it in!'

The two look up as someone applauds them.

'Good show, good show!' Nightcrawler taunts. 'Now it looks like it's down to you and me Chamber!'

{I'm ready when you are Nightcrawler!} Chamber replies.

There is a BAMF and the smell of sulphur as Nightcrawler teleports to the ground.

'Put up your dukes sirrah!' Nightcrawler says in his best medieval voice. 'Or you shall feel the edge of my sword!'

{You watch too much TV!} Chamber replies.

'Then let's go, mein freund!' Nightcrawler grins, flashing his fangs.

Nightcrawler and Chamber are about to leap at each other when they are interrupted by a telepathic call from Emma Frost.

{Nightcrawler, Chamber, Wisdom, Gambit, please report to my office. I have just received a telephone call from Kitty Pryde it seems that there is a situation in Chicago!}

The Belles of Hell bar; Chicago Illinois, an hour or so beforehand-

Katherine 'Kitty' Pryde is just finishing clearing up behind the bar when she hears someone walk through the door.

'Sorry, we're closing, you'll have to come back tomorrow.' Kitty says, not even looking up from the bar.

'Is that any way to treat on old friend?' The person asks.

Kitty stands up from behind the bar and stares in amazement at the person standing before her.

'RACHEL?'

'Yup, it's me, Kit!' Rachel Summers, aka Phoenix, replies. 'So, whose brain do you have to melt to get a drink around here?'

TBC...