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Chapter 20: Leading the way…

Of all the things I had been through until that moment; my marriage and subsequent divorce, Jake's death, Mary's addiction, nothing surprised me more than those five words 'let me come with you'. Not even when my parents apologized to me after Jake's funeral.

I wish I hadn't been standing up when Edward made that statement. The room started to spin, so I sat back down gingerly.

"Drink?" Edward asked motioning the waitress back to our table.

"Please," I said, accepting the remainder of his Coke. "Edward, what the hell?"

"I know how this sounds-" Edward started say, looking a little contrite.

"Really? How do you think it sounds?"

Why did he think this was a good idea? We barely knew each other and the most recent conversation we had didn't leave him in a positive light in my eyes.

"Desperate," Edward answered seriously not joking.

That threw me off. He seemed so determined to justify what he and Jasper set out to do.

"Edward why do you really want to come with me?"

"You were right when you said I'm not going to find what I'm looking on this trip with Jasper."

"Then go home," wondering why he thought he would find what he needed with me. "Your parents aren't disowning you are they?"

"No of course not. It's just I'm pretty sure what I'm looking for isn't in Martha's Vineyard either."

"Why do you think that? If your parents are supporting you that's half the battle, I can assure you. My parents disowned me when I left my husband. It took me years to find my place in this world," I told him, thinking back to the first couple of years I was in San Francisco.

"How did you do that because I don't feel close to normal," he asked reminding me of a small child. My heart went out to him.

"The first thing you have to do is accept that things aren't the same. They're not going to ever be the same again. Once you accept that you'll find a new normal. Jake and Rose helped me with that."

"Bella, another reason why I want to go with you is that I don't feel comfortable with you driving across country by yourself. Jake would have killed me if he knew I was letting you do that," Edward said.

"You do realize it's the sixties and as you pointed out earlier, times are changing. Besides I've made the trip by myself before," I replied dryly wondering why people were so freaked that I was taking this trip.

"Look Bella," Edward said changing tactics, "I have good instincts about people and intuition about situations. You have to when you're in the bush, getting shot at in the dark. I think if I stay with Jasper things are going to get worse for me."

I couldn't argue with that statement. Jasper seemed bounded and determined to break every rule he could before real life came calling.

"And I can't go home right now. Things got bad right before I left and I need time to decompress before I'm around my family again." he continued.

Edward pulled a cigarette out his pack and lit it up while he waited for my decision. There was a story behind his comment and my curiosity was definitely peaked, but not enough to take a nearly perfect stranger on my trip.

As I studied Edward in the dim light of the coffee shop with the cigarette smoke swirling around his features, I realized I had seen the expression on his face before. He was shell-shocked. It was the same expression I had when I first moved to California, but I had people to bring me out of that; Edward didn't have anyone.

I thought about Jake and knew Jake would've done all he could to help Edward had be been alive and it was that thought that cemented my decision.

"I don't have any air conditioning in my car. It's a VW bug by the way," I told him.

"I've been to Da Nang, anything would feel like a luxury cruise." He said, sensing my decision.

"I don't stop unless it's for gas," I said after a moment.

"Fair enough. We didn't exactly stop to appreciate the scenery in Vietnam," Edward replied dryly.

"No, I suppose you didn't but you're a smoker and I'm not cool being in a car for hours at a time in a cloud of smoke."

"That's fine. Your car, your rules," he promised holding up three fingers for scout's honor.

"You were a boy scout Edward?" I deadpanned.

"Eagle scout," Edward said smiling, "I can get you letters of reference from my scout master and my commanding CO."

"What about your fraternity president?" I remembered he and my brother have been in the same fraternity. It was one of the few areas of my brother's life he kept quiet about.

"The only letter I would get from him would be about debauchery and I doubt that would help my cause at the moment." Edward smiled ruefully, taking another drag from his cigarette.

"And your buddy? Because Jasper's a bit of a prick," I told him honestly.

Edward laughed causing me to smile. He had a beautiful laugh when he allowed it.

"Jake used to say the same thing that all time. Jasper's really not that bad; he's just an acquired taste."

"Yeah 'Mr. Acquired Taste' is not my cup of tea. And just so we're clear, no drugs or getting drunk. I mean it Edward, if I so much as smell it on you or see you glassy-eyed you're gone. Understood?"

"So I can go?" his green eyes looking happy for the first time since I saw him.

I nodded. "But we're clear on the conditions?"

"Crystal," he replied putting his hand out to shake. "What time are you planning to leave tomorrow morning?"

"7:00 am and I don't wait," I said shaking his hand trying to ignore the sparks and wondering what the hell I just agreed to.

~~~~~~~~~~AMW~~~~~~~~~~~AMW~~~~~~~~~~~~~AMW~~~~~

Edward insisted on taking me back to my room.

"Just so we're clear, there will be no hanky panky on this trip," I told him firmly as we got back to room. I didn't want to give him the impression that this was anything but a free ride across country and not a ride on me.

Edward laughed again. "Are you sure Bella?" he teased. "I've never any complaints in the hanky panky dept. Of course I haven't heard it called hanky panky since high school."

I blushed a little, proving how out of touch I was with sex in general. Well given I never really had a sex life, I was definitely out of my comfort zone. I decided to go back to something I was very comfortable with: sarcasm.

"Have a good time in California Edward, stop in Santa Cruz and take in Sarah Winchester's Ghost house. They have a lot of funky rooms and trapped doors." Edward's eyes widened.

"I was just kidding! I swear!" he exclaimed putting his hands up. "I promise no hanky panky." I burst out laughing.

"Now we're even," I retorted raising an eyebrow causing Edward to laugh.

"We're going to have a fun trip."

"Yeah a spinster and a wannabe hippie we're the original odd couple." I replied, opening my door. "Have a good night Edward. Remember, be at the front desk at 7:00."

"No problem I'll be there," Edward leaning forward for a hug. I stood stiffly for a second, not sure how to react.

Edward had a nice scent which I wouldn't have expected since he was a smoker. Rose and Em they had a permanent scent of tobacco smoke that clung to their clothes and home, but Edward had woodsy scent that overpowered the tobacco. The hug was brief and when he pulled away he studied me for a minute; it unnerved me with the intensity in his green eyes.

"Until tomorrow, goodnight Bella," he said finally.

"Goodnight Edward," I replied closing the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~AMW~~~~~~~~~~~AMW~~~~~~~~~~AMW~~~~~~~~

The next morning I tumbled out of bed to grab a quick shower before running downstairs. Given the lecture I gave Edward about punctuality, it wouldn't look good if I were late. I could only imagine the teasing I would endure on the drive. Taking one last look around the room to make sure that I didn't forget anything, I left the room made my way downstairs.

Looking around the lobby, I looked for Edward and realized didn't see him.

"I'll be on time my ass," I muttered to myself, wondering if he got drunk or high and was sleeping it off with some bimbo.

"Talking to yourself," I heard behind me.

"Oh goodness," I jumped a little realizing Edward and a very sheepish Jasper were behind me. Edward looked good, well rested. Jasper looked like he had a long night. He was scratching his belly, his hand drifting precariously close to his groin. Both looked amused at my fright.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you. I thought..." I started to say.

"That I was sleeping it off somewhere?" Edward finished for me. Jasper's grin spread wider. Not like the creepy one he was sporting yesterday. A real genuine one. Like he was happy for this change of events. I couldn't comprehend why since I was taking away his drinking buddy.

"Well I'm glad to see you here, both of you," I said, and turned my attention to Jasper. "I owe you an apology."

"No you don't," Jasper said. "Listen can I speak with you for a moment Miss Bella, privately?"

I looked at Edward who nodded at me.

"Okay," I said, as Jasper motioned me back to the elevator bank. Edward pulled out a cigarette and started speaking to the bellhop.

"Look, I was out of line yesterday," Jasper said finally, after we stared at each for a moment. "I shouldn't have given you that impression of your brother."

"And I shouldn't have been judgmental," I replied.

Jasper shook his head. "You're right on that score, but I understand why you feel that way. But Edward doesn't belong on his trip. I think what you're doing is the right thing."

"What about you Jasper? I can't imagine that is this any good for you."

"It's probably not," he admitted. "But I need a break."

I nodded, knowing that sometimes you had to hit rock bottom before you could climb out. Thinking about Mary and the mess she was in, I wondered how deep her bottom was. Somewhere between Mary's trouble, Jake's death and my plans to move back East, I'd lost sight of the world around me and how rapidly it was changing.

When a veteran came home from war he used to be honored, now people were calling them baby killers and turning their backs to them. I couldn't imagine how these guys were handling the scrutiny.

"Jasper, I do wish you the best of luck, I really do. I hope you find what you're looking for," I told him with sincerity.

"Thanks Bella. Edward isn't like me. He's a great guy who was just dealt a shit hand. He'll be good company for you and I know that Jake would have been happy that he's helping you out. Jake couldn't stand Irina so I'm sure he's happy Edward is taking time for himself and getting away Boston."

I snorted because I hadn't liked Irina when we were in school and her behavior at Jake's funeral had cemented any chance I would be civil to her if we met again.

"Either way Jasper, are you sure you want to go through with this? I can promise it's not going to lead to anything good. You can come too if you want," I replied, mentally kicking myself since I had sworn to not have anything to do with his arrogant ass.

Jasper snorted, his cocky look from yesterday making a brief appearance.

"My trip would kill Edward's spirit and believe it or not I love him like a brother, but going back would kill my soul." He said, leaning in to give me a hug. It was brief and hard like him. "You take care of yourself."

With that, this strange man turned his back and headed back toward Edward, who had been watching us with curiosity. They shook hands and hugged in that guy way of a half hug and a slap on the back.

Jasper grabbed his duffel bag and headed out. I realized there was more to Jasper than I initially thought, but he was a lost soul and who knew what it would take for him to figure out where he belonged.

Shaking my head I walked over to Edward who was watching his friend walk off down the strip, his thumb out.

"Did you two hitch down here," I asked in horror, remembering the stories Emmett had told me about what happened to hitchhikers.

"We flew," Edward answered, "Our plan was to take a bus to San Francisco."

"You know I never asked, but why start in Vegas?"

"Why not? We'd never been and it seemed a good place as any to start."

I shook my head realizing these two might have seen more of the world than I ever did, but they had no common sense. Driving would have made more sense and I was pretty sure that between the two of them they had a car.

Then it occurred to me as I saw Jasper get into a car that pulled over to pick him up; he didn't want any ties. He was probably hoping that Edward would have gotten bored and turned around. From what I knew of Jasper's background, his family were sharecroppers in Texas and without the military he had no idea what to do with himself. He wanted to be alone.

"I hope he'll be okay," Edward muttered under his breath, gripping his bag.

I nodded agreeing.

"We need to get my car," I said finally as we watched the car fade into the distance, taking Jasper with it.

"You lead the way."

NEW AN: Special thanks to LSU15 for your beta!

AN: So yes – Edward is coming on the trip. What do you think about Jasper? Still a jerk but hopefully a little more understandable.

Sad and true facts – at least according to Wikipedia. When the Vietnam Vets came home, the war was so controversial that some protestors used to call them baby killers. Not our finest moment as a nation. Going through that kind of trauma would mess with anyone. Next stop on the trip is the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read/review/follow/favorite this story. I'm sorry for the delay in chapters as real life has been giving me a hard time as late and I've developed a nasty case of what my dad would call "tomorrowiticis".

I've come to a difficult decision on my own. As I mentioned in a previous post, I've spent been the primary bread winner in my family for sometime as my husband lost his job several years and hasn't been able to find anything full time. I also mentioned that my daughter was also a preemie. If you're familiar with the medical system in the US you know while it offers the best care possible, it ain't cheap. Needless to say I'm knee deep in bills so I'm doing so I'm something I swore I'd never and have decided to publish my first story "A Long Journey" on Amazon Kindle. And yes - I did hire get a editor for the typos. I'm going to keep it up for another week on Fanfiction to allow anyone reading right the chance to finish it here before pulling down.

Again thanks again to everyone for reading!