SURPRISE! A NEW CHAPTER!!!!! Now I just want to say that I am very sad by the lack of reviews received for the last chapter and I was really re-thinking updating so soon because of it.
I want to say a very speical THANK YOU to the seven of you who did take the time to review and for letting me know that you still are with me! This update is for all of you!!!
(in order in which received)
Lupus
roory
fattoad
dvorndran
Marie Cullen18
Em Red Topaz
and lastly
Nightmare and Dream
There are three of you that are listed above (you know who you are ;) that have been with me since I first started on fan-fiction with Crescent Dawn. Your ever lasting support means the world to me, thank you so much for caring and for sticking with me since day one!!
All of you who take the time to read my writing should know that without all of you I would have gave up writing along time ago. SO please show me that it is worth it and that I'm not doing this for nothing by letting your thoughts be heard no matter good or bad by leaving a review.
Thank you all so very very much for everything!!
Now on to the chapter!!
As always, Edited by: GOLDSPARKLER!
Insight
Monday morning, and I was sat at my desk going through my patient list of the day, but struggling to keep my mind on my work. I just couldn't get Bella out of my thoughts. I looked down and read, Mrs. Clarice Tavener, 54 years old, referral from Seattle General for post shoulder rehab: initial program........Bella had absolutely gorgeous shoulders.... and wow..... that little place where her shoulder met her neck was so soft. It's one of my most favorite spots on her body. I smiled to myself as my thoughts trailed back to the other morning.
I had walked out of the bathroom and stopped to take in the beautiful woman lying in my bed with a lustful look in her eyes. It had taken everything in me at that moment to not give in to my arousal and pounce on top of her. She really was a sight to behold wearing nothing but my button up shirt from the night before with her hair mussed from sleep. The shirt had slipped off one perfect shoulder exposing her creamy white skin. It was the best feeling in the world to hold her in my arms all night, but it was also quite difficult to keep the heated beast in me at bay as well. My need for her was like a drug, one that I wanted to stay addicted too for the rest of my life. I hadn't been able to bear taking her home that night, not wanting to be apart from her for even just a moment. She told me that she was happy that I had brought her back to my place to spend the night and I couldn't have agreed more. If I had my way she'd sleep wrapped in my arms every night. I had already found it hard to fall asleep for the past two nights and that was only after her spending one night next to me.
I wonder if she had the same problem? I thought to myself as I shuffled around a few papers on my desk looking for a certain patience information.
"Hey, Eddie my boy! Get any action the other night? I heard it through the grapevine that Splash stayed the night." Emmett asked rubbing his large hands together like he always did when he was looking for dirt on people's private lives.
I rolled my eyes at me and sighed, leaning back in my chair so I could look at him.
"Emmett, first off. How many times do I have to tell you, DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!!?" I growled putting emphasis on the last part. I knew he would never stop calling me that only because it always got a rise out of me and he loved to get me riled up, for what reasons I will never know.
I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to compose myself from laughing at the big bear who was standing before me with a deeply thoughtful look upon his face while ticking off fingers trying to actually answer my question.
"Em, stop before you give yourself actual brain cells from thinking to much." I chuckled shaking my head at him as he shot me a glare before shrugging off the whole thing. Then a mischievous grin spread across his face making his dimples pronounced as he raised a pointed brow at me. Oh no, I knew what that look meant. It meant that he realized that I hadn't answered his question and that he had me right where he wanted me.
"So something did happen, huh?" He pressed raising his eyebrows up and down thinking that he was on to something by my lack of willingness to share the details of my night with Bella.
I shook my head at him sinking into my seat more with a groan. "Nothing like that happened Emmett. But god did I want it too." I admitted running my hand through my unruly hair.
He gave me a shocked looked then quickly took the seat across from me all ears. "I know that it might seem too soon to say, but I love her more than anything in the world and I don't want to mess it up by rushing into this relationship head first, and no, that is not the 'head' I am referring to so get your mind out of the gutter." I scolded him knowing that that is where his mind would go first.
"Sorry" he muttered, motioning with his hands for me to go on. I let out a deep breath while kicking my feet up to rest on the top of my desk and just decided to pour my thought's out.
"Now you know my track record with woman isn't really a good one," I paused waiting for him to nod to let me know that he knew where I was going with this, " and well I'm just scared it will happen again."
"Bella isn't Tanya, Edward, nor is she any other girl for that matter. She is the girl." Emmett pointed out.
"I know that Em. I do. But everything was good with Tanya and I until sex got in the way of things. It happened too soon in our relationship and it became the main focus of it instead of what was important which was for us to really get to know each other the right way. I wasted four years on her only to find out she got knocked up by some other guy she was seeing for two of those years behind my back but had only just slept with. I had turned into the other man that she was cheating with without even realizing it because it was a relationship based on sex. There was never a chance for us to get the right emotional connection which she had apparently found with that guy instead."
I took a moment to take a breath which gave Emmett the perfect chance to have his say. "Look, that whole thing was a crap fest and way too confusing for the people involved in it. Never mind the people who had to sit back and watch it all unfold. But, man, I still don't see what this has to do with you and Bella. You guys are soul mates like me and my Rosie. And on a side note if that comment leaves this room I will deck you one." He waited until I gave him my sign of agreement before picking back up where he left off. "What I mean is that you two are already connected and I know you know that. But seeing as what both of you have been through I can understand wanting to wait it out. Again not a word."
I held my hands up in surrender to yet another warning and dropped my feet back to the floor.
"You know the fact that you figured out what I was trying to say in all that mess is creepy, right?" I said raising an eyebrow at him.
He simply shrugged like it was no big deal then stood up. "Edward, did you ever stop to think the reason why you and Bella were both cheated on is because you both were pinning away for each other through all those years? You can't fully give yourself to a relationship when you're wishing that the person in your bed is someone else. It just doesn't work, but it will now." Emmett didn't give me time to respond to his knowledgeable insight on the matter before turning to walk out the office door.
I sat there going over his words and knew that he was right. I was just over thinking things like I always do and worrying to much. It was an annoying trait. I knew that what I had with Bella was special, but it was because of that that I was more afraid of losing her. I had already lost her once and now that I had her again I was never going to let go. She's my life. So taking it slow with our physical relationship and not rushing into things like we did when we first met seemed like the safest bet to us both this time around. I had the rest of our lives to make love to her. Waiting until Bella was healed enough for those types of actives gave us the perfect time length to be sure and get to know each other and of course it would make the first time all the more sweeter. Yeah right, who was I kidding... having to wait that long with the effect Bella has on me is going to pure torture. That girl is going to be the death of me.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Now let's see if we can get the total review count closer to that 500 mark!! And if more reviews come in than was given for the last chapter, you will all get a cookie ;)
with love always,
Feathers Kiss