Trigger Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Threats
Chapter 21: That Reaper, Regretting
Erican's POV
I was still in Amelia's cell for the entire time that my father had been gone, and even when he, unfortunately, got back. When Grell woke up and my father was talking to her, I still had not left. I was sitting up against the tiny window of the padded door, since every wall muffled sound, listening as he beat her and told her what was happening. Amelia flinched whenever she heard Grell get hit, but I stayed still, since I was numb to hearing my father's beatings at that point. When he told Grell that Mara was in the hospital, Amelia was listening attentively. I didn't think much of it, since the both of them were going to end up dead anyway.
Then, I listened to what Grell was telling her; she knew that what she was telling Mara could very well be the last words she would ever say, because she knew that she could be killed for being defiant. She didn't care though. She just wanted Mara to be safe. I covered my ears and tried to block everything out, but I still heard Mara's mother tell her that she loved her, and that's what sent me over the edge.
I started crying, but I forced myself to be quiet by covering my mouth to muffle the sobs. I was terrified that my father would hear me, and I didn't have the sound of running water to drown out the noise I was making.
"Erican?" Amelia asked.
"If I had just kept my fucking mouth shut, this wouldn't be happening. You and Mara's mother would be fine. If I had controlled myself when Mara wanted to be alone during the exam, and I didn't act like the way I did to cover up my fear, we'd all be fine!" I told her. "Mara would have just gone home from school with her mother like usual, and you would have just gone back to wherever you live."
"Erican…"
"That demon should have killed me during the exam. No, he should have killed me after he killed my mother. Either way, I wouldn't be feeling like this anymore, and I wouldn't be living as this."
"You said we'd be fine if you didn't do what you did, but you only talk about how the people around you would be affected." Amelia explained.
"So?"
"That's not "We", Erican, that's "They"."
"Thanks for the grammar lesson, Amelia." I shrugged.
"That's not-"
"Erican! Get over here!" my father shouted. I turned off my emotions for the time being, furiously rubbing the tears away from my eyes and rushed to him.
"Why are your eyes wet?" he asked, seeing how inflamed they were.
"It was dusty." I lied.
It's not as if I still have human emotions, or I react in a normal way to being reminded of the last conversation I had with my mother before she died. I thought. That would be weak.
"Good. I won't let you start crying now."
"You never did." I said, terrified that I had actually said that to my father. After a moment of terrified silence, he grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head up, to the point where I could feel the back of my head touch the back of my neck, and pointed his gun under my chin. I didn't say anything. I waited for him to shoot.
GO AHEAD. FUCKING DO IT, FATHER. I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.
"You're lucky this isn't loaded, idiot." he growled before he let go of my hair. I lowered my head, avoiding eye contact.
Am I?
He handed me the empty gun.
"I have to go get the half-demon girl from the hospital. If she's going to keep the promise she made her mother, she won't be leaving there anytime soon. Still, they're saying that she's being taken care of by Adrian Crevan, so I might have to take down a legend tonight."
I felt sick.
"...Yes, Father." I said, keeping my mouth shut about Adrianne.
"Go in the van and reload my gun while I sharpen my death scythe. I have cases of human and inhuman bullets, so you best pick the right ones."
"Yes, Father."
The streets were practically empty when I went out to the van. I opened up the back of the trunk and saw two cases; one labeled "Human" and one labeled "Inhuman". I realized the choice I could make; I could put in some human bullets and invoke my father's wrath if he found out, or load a gun full of bullets that would kill innocent people.
I loaded the gun and walked back inside.
My father didn't say anything at first when I handed him the gun, but I could still see a look of suspicion on his face.
"Give me your hand."
I felt my heart race as I hesitated.
"Now. Unless you want me to use the girl instead, of course." he threatened.
I gave him my hand. He kept an iron grip on my wrist as he pressed the barrel of his gun into the palm of my hand. I looked away.
He shot my hand.
The sound was the first thing I registered; the crack of a minute explosion that shot the bullet completely through my hand. That's when the pain set in, shooting through my hand much like the bullet did, and spreading to the tips of my fingers. I couldn't help it; I cried out, no matter how much I was scared to appear weak like my father.
"Just as I thought, you actually put in the right ones." he said.
"Then why'd you shoot me?" I asked as calmly as I could.
"That's what you get for talking back, Erican." he said before he let go of my bleeding hand. "Now, stay here while I get the girl, and just in case you decide to try to get my prisoners out of here, I'm keeping the key to Grell's cell. You won't be able to do much anyway, with your hand in that condition."
"Yes, Father."
After he walked up the stairs, I tried to open the door to Amelia's cell, and I found out that he was right. The force from the bullet must have severed the tendons in my hand, because I couldn't move any of my fingers. I still don't know why I tried to use that hand first to open the door, but it was still useless as it slapped against the knob.
I opened the door with my other hand and rushed in, shutting the door behind me.
"Your hand…" Amelia said.
I slid down the back of the door until I was in an upright fetal position on the floor, sobbing.
"I think I have some gauze in my back pocket." she said. Seeing her squirming and trying to lean to the side and reach it only made it worse.
"Stop. It doesn't matter." I told her.
"But your hand will get infected." she protested.
"Just stop worrying about me. I'm not the one you should be worrying about."
"Why not?" Amelia asked, apparently not hearing what my father had said.
"Because, Amelia, my father is going to kidnap Mara from the hospital, and if Adrianne is with her father, and they get in the way, they're going to be killed."