WARNING: Possible Tissue Alert
Chapter 21- The Shrine Part 5- The Video Messages of Love
Jennifer closed the door to her office, needing a few moments of peace. It broke her heart everyday that Rodney slipped further away from her. After all they had been through to get where they were it was not fair that fate was tearing them apart. "Your Daddy loves you," the woman whispered as she grabbed the set of tapes that she had recorded Rodney's decline on. One tape stood out as it was unlabeled and she put the tape into the video camera and then hooked it into her computer. The emotional woman's throat dropped to her stomach when Rodney appeared on the screen. Jennifer did not recall recording this and she realized someone else was behind the camera when he started hurling insults and other colorful words. There was only one person Rodney talked that way to: John Sheppard.
"Can you just shut up one minute, Rodney?" John's voice from off camera oozed with annoyance.
"I just want to be sure you are going to edit all this beginning stuff out. Jennifer doesn't need to see this," Rodney's face showed the same annoyance of John's voice.
"I will. I'm not a video editing expert. So to ease your fears I'll get Chuck to help me. You know he is the one who made that video of Kavanaugh in a dress and high heels."
"I don't want to be wearing a dress in these videos for Meredith."
"You won't. He will know these are serious. Don't worry. Are you going to hold up a sign or something to know where a new video begins?" John's voice evened out.
"Yeah, something like that," Rodney waved a dismissive hand.
First Birthday
"I cannot believe a year has already passed since you came into the world my sweet little angel. Happy Birthday, Meredith. I know you have no idea what I'm saying, but I wanted to leave you something other than the pictures and the stories your mum and Uncle John will tell. I wish I could be there to see you grow up. Since I can't, I am making these videos for you to watch. There's one to be played each year on your birthday and at other important moments in your life. I know it's not enough but it's all I can do with such limited time. I wish I got to hold you just once before I had to go away. I never got a chance to see you outside of the pictures from the sonograms when you were in your mum's belly. You are probably just as gorgeous as she is. Know that I love you and your mum very much and you two were the best things to ever happen to me. Be good for you mum and don't give her a hard time. I bet you are walking and talking up a storm by now. You are destined for great things. Just remember to never let anyone crush your dreams. If anyone tells you have no feel for playing the piano, don't listen to them. Prove them wrong and make them eat their words. If you want to dance, dance. Just be yourself! Until next year, my angel. All my love." Rodney finished by blowing a kiss toward the camera.
Fifth Birthday
"Happy Birthday, Meredith. I love you very much and wish I could be there to see you. You are five today and I'm sure you noticed that you are not like other kids. If you are living on Earth you will know what I mean, but if you are living on Atlantis there aren't many other kids around. Torren doesn't count since neither of his parents is from Earth and you can't go by that. They have all those weird Athosian customs and all that. You were born a Keller and McKay which made you a genius before you were born. Be good to your mum and don't give her a hard time. Listen to what she says. She knows what she is talking about even if you don't agree with her. Goodbye for now, my angel." With a wave goodbye, the message for Meredith's fifth birthday was over.
First Day of School
"Hello, my angel. If you are living on Atlantis I doubt this message will mean much other than an excuse to see me. However if you are on Earth then you better listen. Today is your first day of school. I'm sure you are already leagues smarter than any of your classmates. Do you know the periodic table yet? To how many decimal places can you recite pi? Can you stitch a wound? Or name all the bones of the body alphabetically? It does not matter what path you choose as I am proud of you no matter what. I bet you are as pretty as your mother and you will be breaking hearts in no time. Enjoy school and don't take any crap from people that make fun you for being smarter than them. It's the only thing their simple minds know how to do. If you need help to protect yourself from those who threaten you, ask Teyla. She is one of the wisest people I know and she can literally kick ass big time. Just don't let your mum know I said that. Goodbye for now, my angel."
Tenth Birthday
"Happytenth birthday, my Meredith. You might be wondering why your mother and I gave you the name we did. You might have asked and she told you that we named you after me. It was something we decided on before I got... before I wasn't there anymore. There is another story behind it, but I will save that until you are older. Yes, my first name is Meredith. No one called me that except your Aunt Jeannie because she is a brat and liked to annoy me with that name. If you have brothers or sisters treat them right and don't be too annoying to them. Let them know you love them no matter what. Don't ever drift apart and stop talking for years. They are the only siblings you'll have. As the oldest I expect you to look out for them and be a good influence for them. Follow your heart. It will never steer you wrong even if others think it will. I love you always and forever, my angel."
Thirteenth Birthday
"Happy Birthday, my daughter. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I'm not going to sugar coat it, being a teenager can be hell. Both your mum and I have been there. Bullies are people who don't know how to deal with people as smart as we are. You can take solace in knowing that they will amount to nothing and you are destined to do great things. I know you are probably growing tired of these videos. As a teenager you probably think they are dumb and boring, but this is the only way I can teach you all the things I wanted to pass onto you since I could not be there for you. Don't be too hard on your mother. Raising you by herself cannot be easy and don't make your teenager years too difficult for her. She knows what she is doing and she has gone through all of what you are feeling. Until next year, my precious one. And a last few pieces of advice: Firstly, never let someone make you eat lunch with your underwear on your head and secondly, an acid tongue will inflict more lasting damage then a fist ever will."
Sixteenth Birthday
"Happy Birthday, Meredith! I can't help but wonder what grade you are in now. Both your mother and I went to college at your age and by doing so we missed out on so many high school experiences. I do hope that your mother did as we agreed and allowed you to experience everything there is to experience. High school only comes once and you need to enjoy it. Remember not to be so stressed out about your grades, you are a genius. It just comes naturally to you. I'm sure you have a perfect 4.3 grade point average and are going to go to whatever college you choose to. I'm sure you have become a beautiful young lady. I wish I could be there to see you today. If you have started dating already, I'm sure you're mother told you everything you needed to know already. I have to just add this: Remember to have fun and don't let anyone ever break your heart. I love you my angel and wish I could be here to see the amazing young woman you have become."
Prom
"Meredith, I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't worried about you at all today. But that is trumped by the immense pride I feel for you. You are an amazing young woman and I am proud to call you my daughter. My only wish was to have been there with you today to watch you with your date. I'm sure the two of you look good together but remember not to let him break your heart. I'm not going to tell you what not to do, I'm sure you know enough to make the correct decisions. All I ask is that you be happy. If he makes you happy, then I'm happy, if he doesn't then what are you doing with him? Be yourself, enjoy yourself, and above all else, have fun! Know that I am watching over you. I am enclosing a short little message for you to give to your date. Under no circumstances are you or your mother to see that video. It is for your date's eyes only. Don't worry; it's nothing bad – just a promise of what your Uncle John will do to him if he hurts you. All my love, Meredith, enjoy your prom!"
Prom (for Meredith's Date)
"My name is Doctor Meredith Rodney McKay. I am one of the five most intelligent people in two galaxies. My daughter Meredith is one of them as well. Her mother Jennifer also is one of the few I would place in that group. If you are watching this video, I am to understand that you are about to take my daughter to her prom. I should inform you that if I was still alive you would be given the riot act personally however since you are watching this I am unfortunately not alive today. The particulars of my death are irrelevant, just know that they are classified 'Top Secret' by the United States Department of Defense and I was close friends with a lot of the very important members of our military. Let me spell it out to you! You will be the perfect gentlemen to my daughter; you will not do anything to her without her explicit permission. I want her back at home no later than midnight. If you take her somewhere that she doesn't want to go, I will know it. I may not be alive anymore but trust me, I will know if you cross me. Do not make that mistake, for even if I am not there to deal with you, Meredith's Uncle John will deal with you."
Rodney motioned off the screen and John walked into view in his full Air Force Dress Blues, back ramrod straight.
"My name is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. I am the military commander of an Air Force base at a classified location. I have been part of many Military Black Operations and personally know many of the ranking members of the United States Air Force. Now listen carefully, we will be watching you throughout this prom. You will be driven to the prom in an Air Force limousine with an Air Force driver who will wait outside through the whole thing. You make one wrong move, one deviation from Rodney's instructions, we will mobilize and you will be surrounded. I would do anything for Rodney's daughter, don't cross him or you will be crossing me. Let me tell you quite frankly: you don't want to cross me. It won't be pleasant for you."
John crossed out of the frame and Rodney stepped back in. "Now that we've gone over the ground rules, let me remind you of two things. One: She is my daughter; make sure you don't hurt her. Two: Try to have some fun; it's not every day that you have a prom to go to."
Eighteenth Birthday
"You are officially an adult today. Happy eighteenth birthday, my angel. Know that as long as you live under your mother's roof you will have to follow her rules. Even though you think of yourself as an adult and think that you know everything. It's partly from being as old as you are and it's also written into the McKay DNA. You are almost ready to go out into the world on your own and it can be a scary place. No matter how far you go your mum will always be there for you and I will always be looking down from above to make sure you are okay. Please whatever you do not take up smoking. It's a dirty habit. It makes your teeth yellow and your clothes smelly. Don't even get me started on what it does to your insides. All kinds of nasty and gross stuff, blackening your insides. Ask your mum for some pictures as to what exactly it does to you. I'm sure they will be nice and wonderful pictures. Very informative. Goodbye for now. I know this message is a little disjointed. I have a tendency to ramble on occasion. So, it might be more than on an occasion. Oh, don't look at me like that, Johnny Boy."
High School Graduation
"Today is a big day for you, my precious angel. You are putting your childhood behind you and taking your first steps into the real world. College is very different from high school. You are going to have freedoms that you never had before. Enjoy yourself, but don't go too overboard. I'm sure you are valedictorian of your class, but if by some small error you aren't, I'm still proud of you Meredith. Choose your career path wisely. Don't feel pressured to follow after your mum or me, but I wouldn't mind if you studied physics or engineering. Studying medicine, following in your mum's footsteps would be okay too. So maybe there is a little pressure there. If you choose to take after me, never build an atomic bomb as a school protect. I did when I was in grade six and it got me into a lot of trouble and my parents were not too happy with me. Be proud of what you have accomplished as it is only the start of many great things to come. I love you and good luck today."
Twenty-first Birthday
"Drink responsibly. I'm not sure how relevant this message is because I have no idea where you and your mother are living. If you two are in Canada then this is a couple of years too late, but if you are living in the States then this is the perfect time for this message. Then again, if you are living on Atlantis, this message is too late. Oh, I forgot to wish you Happy Birthday at the start of this message. With drinking alcohol there comes a big responsibility. I'm not saying you shouldn't drink, but if you do be smart about it. There is no need to drink until you don't know who you are or where you are. I never understood why people drink until they are drunk. Then again, if you are anything like your mother then you will be able to hold your liquor. Just don't tell her I said that. She can drink your Uncle John under the table and that is an amazing feat. Yes, you know it's true, Sheppard. Don't look at me like that. Getting back to the message, have fun today, my angel. Your life is only beginning. I love you, my daughter."
College Graduation
"Congratulations, Meredith. I'm so proud of you and wish I could be there, standing with your mother as you walk up and accept your diploma today. I hope this is not the end of your studies and you will continue your education. I started imagining this day from the moment I first felt you kick in your mother's womb. I know it was a little early to start thinking about that. When I graduated from university, my parents did not even show up. They were too busy bickering with each other. Know that even though I am not physically there for you today, but I am there in spirit. Corny, yes, I know, but it's also the truth. Have your Uncle John talk to you about ascension someday. I love you and there is no stronger truth."
Wedding
"My little girl, if you are watching this today it means I regretfully wasn't able to be here for this important day in your life. I wish I could be there to walk you down the aisle and give you to your husband. Hopefully your brother is the one giving you away, that is if your mum decided to have another child. Or then maybe it's your Uncle John or Uncle Ronon. He better be a nice guy or he won't be getting a decent night's sleep until he is gone. He will regret the day he ever messed with a McKay, but I'm sure your Uncles will teach him a good lesson. No one messes with my daughter and gets away with it. Now getting back onto topic, finding that one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with is... I don't know what it is. It's not really something you can explain. It just is. Just like it was with your mother and me. We started off as friends and before either of us knew it we had fallen in love with each other. My only regret is that I never got to marry her. I don't regret a day that I spent with her. A love like that does not come around often and I hope you found that with your husband. Know that I am watching from above, happy and sad that my little girl is all grown up. I love you and hope that you have many years of happiness ahead." Rodney wiped a single tear away from his eye.
First Child
"Creating a life is a miracle. Then watching as that life grows is an amazing experience as I'm sure you witnessed these past nine months. So many crazy thoughts go through your head when you learn you are going to become a parent. I went through it all, but I finally saw what was most important and that was you. A life I was responsible for helping to create. You probably wonder what advice I could be giving since I did not even get the chance to see you come into the word and this is being filmed two months before you mum is due to have you. My advice is simple; love your child. It's all they ask for. Be there for them no matter what. There may be times where you want to yell and wonder what you got yourself into, but just take a step back and realize that one day the roles will be reversed and they will be the one yelling at their kids. One last piece of advice is don't let a day go by where you don't tell them that you love them. There will be times they don't want to hear it, but it will be something they will never forgot. Congratulations, my baby is now a parent. I love you, my angel and Daddy is very proud of you."
Twenty-fifth Birthday
"Happy Birthday, my angel. Though you are hardly little anymore. Twenty five years old today. You are all grown up and I suspect that you are either working on your PhD or are in medical school. I don't know if you have started a family yet, but this is the last video I've recorded for your birthday. You wonder why I chose to stop at twenty-five. A quarter of a century may seem like a good place to end, but it has a different meaning.
About five month before I filmed these videos your Uncle John travelled forty-eight thousand years into the future and he was sent back by me. More like a me from an alternate timeline. A timeline where I was the only parent you had. It's kind of ironic that in sending John back that now it was you only had your mother there to raise you. The twenty-five years comes from the time that I...er he spent working on a hologram program that sent John back. Everyone that he cared for died and you were the only one he had left. Before he returned to Atlantis to install the program, he promised his daughter that he would always be there for her and that he would always be her father. I'm sorry I was not able to live up to his promises. One of his promises I kept is that I will always love you. I love you Meredith and I'm proud of the amazing woman I'm sure you have become. Find someone to love and be happy! Goodbye, my angel, I'll miss you!"
"Wait I'm not done yet, John. There is one more message I need to leave. You are to give this to Jennifer the day she gives birth. Not a day sooner and not a day later." Rodney said with all the seriousness he could muster.
There was no room for debate and John just continued to film.
Message to Jennifer for the day she gives birth
"I know this day had to be hard for you. I'm sorry that I was not able to be here for you as you gave birth. I hope you are watching this as you hold our precious little miracle. I had John film this message as well as a series of messages for Meredith to be given to her on every birthday as well as several other milestones in her life. I did not ask you to help me film these messages because I knew you would have tried to talk me out of it. I had a difficult enough time getting Sheppard to help me.
I don't even know where to begin. What could I possibly say to the person who gave me the best two years of my life? My soul mate. The one who showed me the meaning of true love. The one who always put on a brave face my last few days even though I know you were dying on the inside. I heard you crying at night when you thought I was asleep. My only regret is I wasted those several months scared of becoming as father and doubting our love. Part of me wonders if this is some kind of punishment for the way I treated you. I don't think that really matters at this point. What is important right now is you and Meredith. I only want you two to be happy and live life to the fullest. I never thought love could feel like this.
Jennifer, you are an amazing person and I was so lucky to have you in my life. Sometimes I was not sure how you put up with me. I know I was never the easiest person to get along with and yet that never scared you away from me. I know it is probably cliché to say, but you made me want to be a better person. You showed me there was more to life than work and proving I was better than everyone else. I had you and Meredith and there was nothing else that made me happier. Knowing I had you to come home to after a day of my department driving me crazy made them seem less annoying. Just telling you that I love you is far from adequate to describe the depths of my feelings for you. You know that I was never one for sentimentality and I'm not sure if it's knowing that I won't be around for much longer or your erratic hormones are affecting me or maybe it's that just simply you are the first person that I really mean it to when I say those words. I'm not really sure how to end this so I will just end with this wish; I sure hope that Patrick Swayze's character in Ghost was right when he said that the love inside, you take it with you. Though I will admit I was oddly turned on by that kiss between Demi and Whoopi. Yeah, you really did not need to hear that and it's kind of disturbing that that is my last words to you. So I should just finish with: I love you."
Jennifer pressed the button to turn off the screen, tears blinding her eyes. She knew she was not meant to see the videos yet, they must have accidentally been mixed in with the videos she had been making to track Rodney's memory loss. Her heart felt as it had been ripped from her chest, knowing that time had run out and it would take a miracle for her to have her Rodney back.
To be Continued...
A/N: This was a big undertaking and a hard chapter to write at times. I would not have finished it without the help of Shadows Of Realm, who helped me immensely with this and who also betaed and wrote three of the videos (16th Birthday and the 2 prom videos) . Please leave a review and let me know what you thought.