All characters belong to E. L. James. Story line is mines :D

I am just about to go to check on Olivia and Grace when Ryan announces that my mother is on her way up. I get up and stretch my aching limbs. I am so tired; tired of this hell I'm living in.

I walk into the Great room as my mother enters the front door, with a small smile.

"How are you doing darling? I saw the photo's online." She adds in a whisper as she embraces me.

"I'm not … good. I'm just so sorry for all the mess I created" I squeeze the words passed the lump in my throat.

"Are you sorry for cheating or sorry you got caught?

"Of course I am sorry I cheated?! What kind of question is that?" I snap. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Do you love Ana? Christian, I mean really love her?" My mother's eyes are boring into my face, into my eyes and I see the hurt in hers. She loves Ana, because Ana saved me from myself; and I destroyed her like the monster she always professed me not to be.

"Yes. I. Love. Her" I practically growl as I enunciate each word staccato. She responds by cocking her eyebrow expectantly.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. It's just, I've lossed everything and I can't bear it any longer – to see another man with his hands on her – its driving me crazy" I run my hands through my hair in frustration and pace.

"Christian, calm down and listen to me. If you sit here and let her go, then realise what you've lossed it'll be too late to change anything. You can still get her back, you can show her how much you regret how you ended and prove to her that you're in this marriage for the long haul."

"I don't know what to do to make her see how sorry I am, I don't deserve her forgiveness" I add quietly. I am shocked when my mother grabs my shoulders and shakes me, with a wild look in the depths of her warm eyes.

"God damn it Christian. Stop with this 'I don't deserve forgiveness' bullshit. You're just using your issues as an excuse to hide from the guilt you're feeling. Face it. Work through it and get your wife back! If you don't then you'll have to live with what-if's for the rest of your life. Do you want that Christian?"

"No… god no!" I bury my head in my hands "I can't look at myself in the mirror. Ana saved me and I crushed her heart whilst she was carrying my baby inside her, how can we make it back from something as shattering as that?"

"You'll make it because you are meant to be together"

"Your right" I breathe, she's right I need to get her; I need to go get her right now!

"Mom, will you stay with the children?"

"Why? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get my wife, that's where"

"I didn't mean right now, she's out with another man, you can't just show up Christian!?" She looks at me like I've lost my mind… maybe I have?

"I can, and I will. I want my heart back, I'm nothing without her; you're right, I've spent too long wallowing, and there's no time like the present!" I walk quickly to my room; I throw a clean shirt on and grab my blazer before kissing my shell-shocked mother on the cheek as I walk towards the elevator. She follows hurriedly behind me.

"Teddy is in the media room playing video game. He needs to be in bed at 9pm. Thank you for knocking some sense into me, mom. I love you." I give her another strong hug and I hear her gasp. I know why she feels so strongly for Ana; before her, I'd never shared a hug or embrace with anyone other than Mia.

The doors open and I step inside. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Give Teddy a kiss goodnight from me!"

The doors close and take me into the depths of Escala's garage. I jump into my R8 and speed out onto the street

"I'm coming Ana, I'm coming for you baby" I say. I am determined to win my heart back. I have too.

Richard and I are sitting adjacent to each other, his left arm draped around my chair, softly stroking the back of my neck as we share warm chocolate lava cake with whipped cream. I push my small pastry fork through the crispy top and the warm chocolate sauce oozes out and I lift it to my mouth.

"Oh good god this is good!" I say, Richard looks at me and bursts out laughing.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I giggle, embarrassedly. I reach for my napkin, but he gets there first.

"Oh no you don't Anastasia. I have a much better idea of how to address this problem" My breath hitches as he leans in and sucks the chocolate sauce off of my chin, all the way to my mouth. His kiss is slow, deep and full of longing. He pulls away, and takes his finger which he has obviously dipped in the sauce and drags it down my cheek.

Wow that's so sexy! – Oh I agree with that.

"Oops, I missed a bit" and licks it off. I giggle as he tickles my cheek with his tongue. I load my fork with cake and cream and feed him some.

"It's good right?"

"Oh yeah, but it tastes better off you" Suddenly my heart lurches as I am transported back in time to relive the ben, jerry's and Ana moment just after Christian and I got back together the first time he hurt me.

"Ana, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" He looks hurt, and confused.

"You just said something that my husband would always tell me." I smile sadly at the memory.

"Let's make you some new memories then, ones that belong just to us." He plops a big dollop of cream on the tip of my nose, my mouth pops open and he takes this advantage and slips his tongue into my mouth, stroking softly against mine, the cream rubs off on his own nose and we're both giggling like a pair of teenagers.

Once we've finished our desert, Richard asks for the check and places his black Amex inside the book for the waiter. We get up and leave the restaurant hand-in-hand.

Musical recommendation for this part is: /watch?v=NHpv7NKNxco (really listen to the lyrics)

Thankfully, when I pull up outside the edge water hotel the vultures have dissipated. I don't need them to see me if I get shot down. I don't think I'm prepared to see what I see. They are playfully wiping food on each other's face and kissing it off. I feel like I'm being punched repeatedly, like someone's stomping all over my heart.

"No. No, please." I whisper dejectedly. I see the wife-fucker use the universal sign-language for

Check please, I'm off to get laid

I quickly make my way back to my car and wait for them to leave. I don't know if I want to see what's next but I can't convince myself to turn around and go back home like the loser I just professed not to be. They walk out hand in hand and each look or touch they give each other lacerates my heart. The valet brings his car around and he opens the door for her; she'll like that, she'll find it romantic. I think dejectedly. Shit, this really, really hurts. I feel my heart beat but it's like it isn't mine, the bastard saunters around the car like the prick he is and gets inside. Before pulling into traffic he leans across and kisses her cheek, he must have said something funny because she throws her head back in laughter. I miss her, I miss her girlish giggle; I doubt she'll ever giggle for me again, not like she used too. I let them get ahead and silently follow them…

Oh, snap! He's not taking her back to the big house. She's going to his place… I stoically ignore those thoughts. She won't have sex with him, she wouldn't do that. She won't.

I bet she said the same about you. Let her be. He states, quietly; with not an ounce of sarcasm. All that is evident in his tone is pure sadness. I'm not listening to my conscious anymore. I want her back; I'm going to get her back. I notice him indicate to pull into his driveway; which isn't gated. I slow and stop a little ahead of them. I get out of the car and creep closer to the house to get a better view.

He gets out of the driver's seat, and like a true lady Anastasia waits for him to open her door. He takes her hand and as he pulls her from the car, instead of following his lead she pulls him to her, so she's pushed up against the car door. I feel physically sick when I see him push up against her, with his fingers in her hair. She leans forward and takes a hold of his face, placing her lips upon his. It's a hungry kiss, I see him push his hips into hers as her hands explore her body. My heart is hammering in my chest. I can't breathe, I can't … I… the pain is crushing me from within.

Please baby, come back to me. Please? I silently implore her. He pulls away from her lips and kisses his way down her neck; she likes it when I kiss the spot behind her ear. It drives her crazy with need. But it's not me with my lips and hands on her, its someone else. I caused this. It's nobody's fault but mines.

They break apart and start laughing at each other. He grabs her hand and they run up the porch steps, he's struggling to get the keys in the door as Ana wraps her arms around his waist and leans her cheek on his back. I can't believe she slaps him on the butt when he doesn't open the door quick enough. I can hear her giggle; and it makes me feel heart-sick. Eventually he succeeds in unlocking the door and they slip into the house. I don't need to see anymore, my mind can continue just fine on its own! So why do I find that I am I moving closer? And closer still, so that I can see into through the living room window?

(Song: You lost me by Christina Aguilera)

"Open the door, its bloody freezing out here!" I slap him hard on the butt, giggling like a fool.

"Ana, I'm trying… if you stop swatting my ass and kissing my back I may have more success!" he laughs back, trying and failing to appear indignant.

"Do you really want me to stop doing this?" I put both my arms underneath his and place my palms flat on his chest, kissing his back through his shirt, making my journey due south.

"Fuck.. Ana" He groans at me and it makes me feel powerful, I am in control. It feels good, really good.

"HA! I got it open" He pulls the door open and I stay behind him with my arms locked around his chest; which makes it difficult to walk properly so we stumble inside the house and I kick the door shut with my foot. Richard strokes his thumb over my lip and kisses me with passion and desire. I feel it emanating out of his pores, like a visible aura around him.

"Would you like to spend the night with me Anastasia?" He asks as he runs his hand along my jaw. My breath hitches at the look of pure unadulterated lust, and places a gentle kiss on my parted-with-desire lips.

"I want too, but I don't know how to be with another man, all I've ever known is Christian." I say sadly, and then I want to punch myself in the face for mentioning my cheating arse of a husband and killing the mood.

"Its okay honey, we'll take this slow. I just want to hold you in my arms and be with you. We don't have to do anything you're not ready for" I smile up at him and kiss his lips once more.

"You're a wonderful man Richard" He smiles shyly at me and leads me to what I assume is his living room. I gasp at the romantic sight before me.

A real log fireplace is the main focus of the space; a fire burns low and it emanates warmth and soft light. There is a duvet positioned in front of it with some pillows and a soft fleece blanket. A bottle of Champagne on ice and chocolate covered strawberries sitting on the table.

He takes my hand and pulls me further into the room.

"I don't want you to think that I expect you to do anything tonight, not that I would object if you did – I mean you're a gorgeous woman, and I am so attracted to you." I avert my eyes to the floor. He places his index and middle fingers under my chin to make me lift my gaze to his.

"Look at me, I'm serious. I'm not going to pressure you, but I thought it would be good to spend some time getting to know each other and talk, in a more comfortable environment." I can't help the blush that passes over my skin.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Richard" I caress his sweet face. I feel so different around him, he feels different; like I can ask him anything and not have to worry that what I want to ask will send him to his study to sulk for days.

"I'll be back in a minute, just by the side of the couch there's a little something for you" He smiles shyly and leaves the room. My stomach is in knots. I want him, I really do but I just don't know if I can be with someone else in that way?

I lean over the side of the couch and there's a gift bag waiting for me. I get excited and my lip gets caught in the confines of my teeth as read the note card attached.

I didn't think you would bring an overnight bag with you, so I took the opportunity to get you something you would be comfortable in, I hope you like
it – Richard x

I hope it isn't some skimpy lingerie because I won't be wearing it. I peel the cello tape off the bag and look inside. I giggle when I pull out a pair of cotton yoga pants and a t-shirt. That was really sweet. He comes back into the room as I'm holding the clothes in my hand. He looks so nervous. As nervous as I feel, perhaps?

"Thank you Richard, you didn't have to go to this much trouble." I say whilst smiling at him. He has changed into sweat pants, and a tight white shirt, one that shows each line of his ripped abs. He strides over to me and brushes his lips against mine

"You're worth a whole lot of trouble Ana!" He rests his forehead against mines and wraps his strong arms around me "Do you want to get changed? The bathroom is just down the hall, third door on the left"

I leave and head to the bathroom; I quickly get changed, leaving my sexy lingerie on. Just in case something leads to a little something. I grab his mouthwash and rinse my mouth out. I fix my hair and touch up with some lip gloss. I walk back into the living room, there is soft music playing in the background and Richard is sitting in the middle of our makeshift bed. He reaches out for me and steadies me as I get down on the floor beside me. I lay down on my back and Richard lies on his side, his head leaning on his elbow. His other hand is running up and down my hip slowly, a gentle soothing gesture.

"Can I just say that you are a vision in yoga pants, especially over that tight ass of yours?" I can't help but giggle. I turn onto my side, facing him and mirroring his position. Hand strays from its current position on my hip around to my behind as he squeezes and flexes his hand. A hot hard stab of desire courses through my groin. He leans forward and kisses me, raising his hand to grab the bowl of strawberries, he sits up cross-legged and holds one by the stalk…

"Would you like one? I had my housekeeper make them especially for tonight." He holds it above my mouth; I trace my tongue across my lower lip before biting down on it. I open my mouth and accept the juicy strawberry from him, biting and sucking at it.

"Mmm, they're really good. May I?" I ask as I sit up, I take one of the white chocolate varieties and hold the stalk between my teeth I crawl onto his lap. I have my legs wrapped around his hips and my butt sitting on top of his legs, which are still crossed. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into his mouth, still holding the fruit between my teeth. He bites down, eating the strawberry as the juice runs down his chin. He can't wipe it away as both his hands are stroking my behind. I spit the stalk out and lick the juice from his lips. I kiss, and bite his lower lip, caressing his tongue with mine. My hands find their way into his hair and I pull on it. My hips start to grind against his crotch at their own accord.

"Oh Ana" He adds breathlessly as I kiss and nip at his neck. "You are so sexy" he is practically panting, but I freeze as those words pass his lips. I pull back to look at him and he looks up at me; I have tears in my eyes and I don't know why?

"Ana… what's wrong?" He looks so concerned. I can't help the few tears slip down my cheeks.

"It's just… after everything that happened… how can I believe that? If I was enough, sexy enough or even beautiful then he wouldn't have looked elsewhere. I guess I always knew in the back of my mind that he would wake up one day and realize what I said all along, that I couldn't give him what he always needed and I wasn't good enough for him. So many people wanted us to fail, some even said…

'in time he will finally open his eyes and realize this isn't the life for him, that you aren't what he wants or needs, he may think you are right now, but one day soon you'll be left with nothing!'

He would always tell me differently, feeding me the lies and obviously waiting for the moment to move on. I thought he loved our life together, we were a family, a happy family; I guess he just knew how to play the part well. No matter how hard I tried, to be the best wife and mother I could be, it was never good enough to keep him" The dam that I've been holding onto for so long now, bursts and I cry, I sob. I just want him to want me; I want him not to have done this, to not break what we had. I wanted to be enough, but it's too late, I'm done, we lost everything we built between us, she won, and our love is gone.

"No, Ana… oh honey! Shh… it's going to be alright it'll get better I promise. I know it seems like the pain is never ending but you'll get there."

"I won't, I'm a failure! I thought he loved me, I thought he loved us. Now my kids live in a broken home with a weekend dad. I was never good enough and I was foolish to believe that I ever was. The worst thing is that I didn't even notice that there were problems; I'm not saying that I am a saint, I'm far from it. But, we were still intimate, I didn't detect a thing, I didn't have a clue until I went to surprise him at our apartment in the city and my life went to hell in a hand-basket." He takes my face in his hands, and wipes my tears away, I feel like a total bitch, sitting in his lap crying about my husband's infidelity.

"Ana, honey. I'm going to be completely honest with you, I think you deserve honesty. It was Christian who failed your family, not you. You are beyond beautiful; inside and out, it's him who didn't deserve you." He takes my hands in his and looks directly into my eyes, I can tell that he is being truthful with me, or at least he believes that this is the truth.

"If he wanted out of your marriage he should have manned up and done it the right way. Maybe he did it this way because it's in his nature, I don't really know as I don't know him. Working with Seattle's elite, sadly I've come to notice that people can get a little full of themselves, they let their success gets the best of them; it's like they think that they don't have to explain their actions anymore? I don't understand how he could do this to you? I haven't known you for long, I mean, it's what … less than 48 hours since we met? But I do know what you have in here" he touches my temple "And in here" he places his hand over my heart and my breath hitches.

"And that's worth more than Christian Grey will ever have, you are a beautiful, savvy, smart, kind and caring woman and I know what I feel when I touch you, how he can turn away from that passion, the fire that's held within the depth of your eyes, well I'll never know?" I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck.

"Make me forget, make me forget about the pain? Please?" I weep into his neck.

"Ana, you're in a very vulnerable place right now and I feel like I'm taking advantage of you and your situation if I do this with you" he adds sadly. I turn my head to the side so that I can kiss his neck; I leave wet kisses from behind his ear, to where his skin disappears beneath his shirt

"Please?" I implore him, I need this – I need to feel wanted, I need to feel something other than hurt. He groans as my fingers explore the hem of his t-shirt.

"Please?" I say again, hoping and praying for him to want me. He moves my hands – and for a horrible split second, I think that he is rejecting me. But instead, he pulls his shirt over his head, then he pushes me to the floor and is on top of me within seconds, hungrily devouring my willing mouth. His hands pull my shirt over my head, leaving me in the very expensive, scarlet red bra that I wore this evening; which contrasts against the pale, milky tone of my skin.

"Ana, you're so beautiful. He kisses the exposed part of my breast; above my bra. He pushes the straps down my arms and unhooks the back, peeling it away from me. His hands start to softly massage the tender, sensitive flesh.

"You. Are. So. Beautiful." He says as he kisses down my stomach. He looks up into my eyes, and in this moment I believe it, I believe him. He has no reason to lie to me, if he just wanted to fuck me I wouldn't have had to ask twice.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me, so that our bare chests are touching; skin to skin. My hands trail down his exposed back, as I kiss him, I am feeling every muscle as he moves on top of me. I move my arms so that I can lightly trace patterns down his side, until I reach the band where his skin meets his sweats. I push them down as far as I can with my hands and use my feet for the rest of the way. I feel his erection hot and hard, digging into my hip as he devours me, his hands everywhere. I pull back, we're both breathless. Panting, needing, wanting, so many pheromones soaring through our bodies all at once. I turn from my position below, and push him down into the soft duvet, in our little make-shift bed. I sit astride him, and throw my head back. My right hand makes its way into my hair, whilst my left, softly makes its way down my neck. I moan, feeling free, feeling desired. My left hand continues its decent, reaching my breasts. I pull and tease my nipple feeling the pleasure/pain sensation spread through my groin as I rock and rub my sex against his length. My breathing accelerates as I feel the deep pulling begin.

"Ana, please? I want you… Ana, I need you?" my name a valediction whispered on his lips. I lean down, and start kissing his chest, traveling south, making sure my nipples make contact with his skin the whole way. I continue to kiss his chest, running my hands over his washboard abs, my tongue lightly tracing his nipple on the way. I kiss, lick, nip and suck across his stomach, continuing down onto his length. His hips thrust upwards, of their own volition. I use my hands to pin his hips to the floor as I suck on the head of his erection. He twitches and groans with every suck and pull I give him. I softly fondle his testicles, lightly massaging them as I fuck him with my mouth. I take a moment to look up at him, with my mouth full; the carnal desire is as plain on his face, as it is in other areas.

"Ana, stop I'm going to come, I want this to last longer" the words rush from his mouth, sounding panicked and breathy.

"I need to get a condom…"he says, trying to get up.

"Where?" I ask as I kiss his stomach, and stroke his length up and down, over and over again.

"In my wallet, on … ooh! On… the… the table, fuuuck" I feel so powerful, feeling his desire for me, knowing he wants no one but me in this moment. It's heady; it's arousing, erotic and addictive. I hold the condom between my teeth crawl back up his body, passing it from my mouth to his. His hands are slightly shaking as he rips it open with his teeth and rolls it down his length. He reverses our positions so that he is back on top; he interlocks the fingers of both of our hands, holding them above my head. He leans down and kisses me passionately then pulls away from my lips… panting.

"Are you sure? You can still change your mind; you don't have to do this Anastasia?" for the first time a frisson of fear runs through me as I wonder what it will feel like, with someone other than my husband buried deep inside me? I've been used to an exceptional lover, has he ruined all other men for me? Richard is looking deeply into my eyes, searching for an answer…

"I'm sure" I say as I nod, his lips are back on mine in an instant, he pulls away again and runs his nose along mine.

"I'll go slowly, if you want me to stop, just say, okay honey?" I nod again.

"Thank you, for being here, for understanding." He kisses me with reverence, passion, and dare I say… admiration? He lets go of my hands as he explores my body more freely, no longer unsure of what I want and need in this moment. He kisses my neck, down center of my chest, his warm, wet mouth wrapping around my erect nipple, and suckling softly, yet I feel it echoed in my groin. His hand travels down past my hip to the back of my knee as he bends it, and opens me a little wider, a little more exposed. His hand travels back up the inside of my calf, his fingernails grazing the sensitive skin of my inner thigh. I need this, I want it. I cry out in pleasure as his fingers reach my core. I've been left bereft of intimacy for so long that I have to use every part of my inner strength to stop myself from exploding right there and then. He inserts his index and middle fingers and moves them in a slow circle, pulling, and stretching me, it feels divine. He absorbs my moans of pleasure with his mouth. He strokes my walls as he starts to tweak my tender nipples and I feel him everywhere. I am all sensation. It's just him and just me. I am hanging on the edge; I feel my muscles start to contract as does he. His movements start to slow as he pulls me back from falling over the precipice. He removes his fingers from deep within my core and slowly massages my clitoris as he mirrors the movement with his tongue in my mouth. I groan in frustration and pleasure and rake my nails down my back. I feel a slight drip of pre-come fall onto my thigh.

Damn, that's so fucking hot! My inner goddess exclaims. I have to agree with her there.

"I'm going to take you now Anastasia"

"Take me, Take me now" I groan into his mouth. I feel him hard at my entrance, he slowly pushes into me and I cry out at the presence of the overwhelming fullness I've missed. He pauses for a beat, then pulls back out.

"Harder, Richard. Faster!" His breath is hot on my neck as he speeds up his thrusts.

"Ana" he kisses my neck as he lifts me higher and higher… faster and harder…

"Fuck!" I cry out. He reaches his hand down between my thighs and rubs in circles as he thrusts into me.

"Shit. Ana, you feel amazing, oh god you're so tight, and wet!" He increases the pressure that he is using on my clitoris and I know it won't be long. Ohh…. Fuck!

"Harder, I'm going to come, but I need you to go harder." I grip his hair in my hands and pull hard as he pounds into me, skin slapping against skin.

" FUUUCK ANA!" The desperation and intensity of his climax tips me over the edge as I come violently around him.

"AHHH! Fuck! Richard!" He continues to thrust and rub my clitoris, not pausing or stopping to catch his breath. I can't go again, I can't.

"Jesus, SHIT!" I am yelling out loudly because my nerves are hyper sensitive.

"Come on Ana, come for me again, I know you can. I want to make you scream my name once more. He grazes my shoulder with his teeth, licking, biting and sucking on my skin and I continue to scale the mountain of release once more. Sheen of sweat covers our skin as thrusts into me over and over, hitting each and every sweet-spot I have. I dig my nails into his back as he comes:

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" He squeezes my clitoris between his thumb and forefinger getting that acute pleasure/pain balance perfectly, which sends me wild.

"RICHARD! OH GOD!" He thrusts into me, continuing to squeeze the nub of frazzled nerves, causing this orgasm to go on and on, spasms of pleasure ricochet through us both as he collapses on top of me. I am breathless, and exhausted.

"Ana, my god. That was amazing" He places a sweet, delicate kiss upon my lips.

"Wow!" Is all I can say and we both laugh.

"Are you okay honey? He runs his hands over my arms, massaging my tired shoulders. I nod. I'm not capable of any other response. He grabs the soft fleecy blanket and drapes it over us both. He pulls me to him, chest to chest and kisses my hair.

"Shh. It's okay Ana. Shh, you haven't done anything wrong sweetie, you have nothing to feel guilty for" Right now, guilt is all I can feel.

"Cry it out sweetie. Just cry it all out." He comforts me as he holds me tightly in his strong arms, and for right now… that's all I want and need.

A/N: Well, I hope this pleases the ones who wanted Ana to get a little something, something! ;) Well, in my opinion she got a lot of something!

A gargantuan thank you to LouisVuittonFreak who helped me massively with this chapter as I found it really, really difficult to find Ana & Richard's inner smut. Once Tex Mex sent me some of her idea's I worked from there, some of the dialog in this chapter comes directly from her so go check out her stories… you'll love them :P

I think this is how Ana would react to this situation, although she has nothing to feel guilty for, Richard is only the second man to touch her intimately in all her 31 years. She's had some hard times of late, and I thought she deserved a different type of HARD time *suggestive wink*

Please stick with me through this, I know it's hard to read about Ana and Christian with other people, but if you stop reading now, you'll never know what happens! I also apologize for the later update, and the huuuuge chapter... I figured you'd prefer a chapter of this nature all at once, and I didn't want to leave you hanging!

– Susie. xox