I realize that so far, this seems like a bunch of random chapter put together. It isn't. Hold on a little bit more, and you'll see where the plot is in all this "mumbo." This chapter though is a filler. Note that houki means sweet sixteen!

Chapter Twenty-One: Sweet Sixteen (Smash Up)

Geijutsu wa bakuhatsu da!

Sweet sixteen-s are also a bang! Today is May 5th, the day the mother I never met gave birth to me. Usually, on this particular day, the old man, Kurotsuchi, Ayu and the rest of my friends from Iwagakure would come together and try to do something to make me happy. After I abandoned the village though, myu birthdays were quite lonely. My fifteenth birthday last year was spent with Hidan. I didn't actually bother telling them though, un.

This time, though, is different. I'm determined to make my partner come out of his shell (not literally though), so I got Sasori to take me out for lunch. I ended up eating alone, but it was so worth it. "Kocchi wa oicii!" I squealed with delight. "Amai! Kekkou! Genkiuma!" "Ugh," Sasori said in disgust, watching me stuff my face. There were about 20 plates of a variety of foods set out on the table in front of me. Who would've guessed the amount of cash Sasori is swimming in?

I glanced at Sasori out of the corner of my eye. He was supposed to be disgusted, but instead he watched me with a content look on his face. This guy couldn't get any weirder. I guess I glanced at him too long because he caught my eyes and narrowed his. I only grinned at him. "Ya know, Danna," I mumbled, fighting with a piece of incredibly chewy meat. "You're always acting all mean and stuff, but inside, you're a big softie, aren't you?" Sasori scoffed and looked away.

I drained a glass of I-don't-know-what-but-it's-delicious. "I'm sure you'd be the type to have a change of heart if someone gave you some sort of motivational speech or something, un," I added. "Gaki," Sasori said flatly. He was clearly not in the mood to argue. "My Danna is a red-headed teddy bear!" I sang. Sasori turned to face me. "Shut up or I'll kill you," he said. How does that sound coming from a seemingly 15 year old boy with ridiculously large brown eyes? Not very threatening.

"It'd be easier to kill you with that big fat weakness on your chest!" I scoffed. Sasori narrowed his eyes again. "This is my strongest form. It isn't as easy as you think," he stated. "Your strongest form shouldn't have such an obvious weakness, un." Sasori turned back around. "Enough. Eat." Yeah, definitely not in the mood to argue.

Harrumphing, I turned back to my food, when a sudden questioned popped into my head. "Hey Danna," I asked softly. "Nani," Sasori asked, still ot looking at me. "Can you return to your normal body if you wanted to?" I dared to ask. Sasori didn't react in the way I'd expected him to. In fact, he didn't react at all. "What a strange question. As expected of a girl like you," he mused. He didn't answer the question. Sighing, I returned to my food. Wow, this place's food is awesome! Sasori blinked. "Akatsuki meeting," he said suddenly. "Huh? Right now?" I exclaimed. "I didn't even get to have cake yet!" I whined as I drained another glass of an unknown drink.

Sasori didn't even wait for me, so I jumped up and hurried after him. "How come you always get the alert and not me? How do you even get the alert anyway, un?" I demanded as I struggled to keep up with him. He really doesn't like to keep people waiting. "Hurry up," Sasori hissed, completely ignoring my questions. We retreated from 'civilization' into a small glade surrounded by trees. Since we didn't know who could storm in here at any time, Sasori activated a small barrier jutsu then took his place on the floor beside me. Shortly after, I opened my eyes in the normal Akatsuki meeting place. It still weirds me out, so I tried not to notice the weird statue thing with ten eyes.

"Omae!" I said, pointing an accusing finger at the hologram of Pain. "What's the big idea?! You just interrupted my birthday meal!" "Baka," Hidan said, disguising it with a cough. "I have missions for you," Pain replied calmly. Oh, I hate it when the guys in this organization act all calm, cool and collected, un. "Why don't you send a bird like you used to?" I demanded. "The last bird I sent almost fell into enemy hands. We can't risk that again." The thing is, we don't even know who the enemy is. We don't even know the purpose of this whole freakin' Akatsuki!

Pain could sense I wanted to say more. "Are you done?" he asked. "No way, un!" I said stubbornly, although I knew I couldn't really suddenly ask what our true purpose was. Not that it really mattered; I was bound here, anyway. I looked around at the familiar rainbow-colored faces. "Where are Itachi and that shark dude?" I finally demanded. "I sent Kisame and his partner to capture the Nine Tails," Pain said. "Doesn't Itachi's younger brother live in the same village?" Kakuzu asked. "Ooh, I'd love to see that little drama!" Hidan cackled. "Sasuke-kun is no match for Itachi. If they do clash, the battle will be over quickly," Zetsu said. "Let's get down to business already!" Sasori snapped impatiently.

"Alas, a voice of reason in the midst of chaos," Pain said. He then proceeded to give everyone their missions: Hidan and Kakuzu were sent to track down a certain secret scroll. Zetsu was asked to watch Orochimaru's movements. Then to Sasori and me, he said "You two are free." What?! That Pain is a huge pain in the neck! Why did he call us when he had nothing to tell us? "Look," I said. "Are you in love with me or something? You just wanted to see my face and hear my voice, right? Admit it, un!" Sasori face-palmed. Konan snickered (first time I've heard a sound from her). Pain looked at me quizzically. "You are a strange one," he said simply, then disappeared.

Sasori and I stood up, back in our real bodies. "In love with you?" Sasori asked, looking at me in plain awe. "He didn't deny it! That means I'm right!" I declared. "Yare yare," Sasori sighed, shaking his head. "Well, it's understandable. I'm irresistible," I continued. "And I have to admit, he is pretty cool, un. But before I can even think of accepting him, I have to meet him in real life. Sasori no Danna, do you know where Pain-sama lives?" "Oh bother," Sasori sighed.

I was annoying him, I knew. But the fact that he had bothered to do something for my birthday, no matter how small, made me feel happy and giddy inside. "No, seriously," I said. "Is it because I just turned sixteen? When we were kids, Ayu used to say that our beauty would blossom once we turned sixteen! Maybe Pain knew it was my birthday and wanted to see me blossoming. It makes sense. After all, he knew about my past when he sent you guys to capture me, so of course he'd know my birthday too! What do you think, Danna? Do I look any different?" I twirled in a circle for him to see, though the Akatsuki cloak isn't designed for looking attractive. "This is going to be a long, long day," Sasori sighed. "Souka(is that so)?" I asked. "Is it because it's my 16th birthday?"

"Damaru!" a voice yelled. "Houki, houki houki! That's all you've been talking about!" A man with an unshaven chin and dull, peasant clothes slouched before us. He had been watching us, waiting for a moment to attack. "You're not the only one who's turned sixteen!" he yelled. "I'm tired of waiting for you to shut up! We're robbing you!" "Tch," Sasori scoffed.

All of a sudden, a bunch of thieves dressed similar to the first one jumped out from the trees, yelling like crazy people. I licked my lips. "This is just the birthday present I need," I said, my signature smirk spreading across my face. I stuck Migi and Hidari in my clay pouches as the thieves got closer. "Ready, Danna" I asked Sasori, my grin getting wider. "Let's get this over with."

"Thanks, Sasori no Danna," I told Sasori from my bed later that night. Sometimes, Sasori doesn't work on his puppets and poisons all night. He just lies face up on the bed across from mine and stares at the ceiling until morning. "This was the funnest birthday ever, un!" "Go to sleep already," he mumbled. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure he was smiling.

Kocchi wa oicii- this is delicious

Kekkou-Amai- sweet

Genkiuma- a taste explosion

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