Huge thanks to Alex Beckett, rickkate3, Soprano009, Vidaet Serafin, Guest, Alexis Dawn, daisesndaffidols, Rolodexthoughts, Sparrow33, fanfar3, babyshayd25, jazzyjenn5, Chkgun93, BethGisborne, and Guest for the reviews and to everyone else who alerted this. I'm aware that last chapter was a little OOC but I couldn't resist a hot head Castle and it was fun to see everyone's varying opinions on Ryan's and Castle's behavior. Got this done early, enjoy!

To say the next couple days at the precinct were tense was like saying the ocean was sort of deep. Ryan refused to acknowledge Castle and because of his relationship with Esposito his partner also refused to talk to the writer unless absolutely necessary. Beckett finally pulled Castle to the break room on the third day. "You need to fix this, I've tried to get Ryan to talk to you but he's more stubborn than you are. I am sick of all of this passive-aggressiveness and the looks and everything. Everyone said what needed to be said and I have to say I think you went overboard with Ryan. I get that you were upset and you had every right to be but you said some pretty mean things to Ryan according to Espo. The Jenny comment I heard was bad enough, that's not you Castle. You're better than that."

"I know," he groaned. "I wasn't thinking clearly and I'm not proud of what happened or what was said. I can't even get him to talk to me to even try to apologize and I'm still having a hard time with the idea of them."

She pointed towards Ryan's desk, "Well try harder to move past this because we can't work like this and even though you won't admit it I know this stress between you and Ryan is bothering you."

Castle nodded and watched Ryan stand from his chair and walk to the elevator, the doors opened and closing a moment later. He waited for a few minutes to collect his thoughts and try to figure out how to approach this before entering through the silver doors and heading down to ground level, the only place he figured he might be. Not seeing him anywhere in the lobby he headed outside and looked around, finally spotting him standing a ways down the sidewalk holding his son on his hip and smiling brightly at what Alexis was telling him.

Wanting to observe them he crept closer but stayed out of the way, the hustle and bustle in front of the precinct providing enough cover.

Ryan shifted his sons weight, he was really too big to be held very much anymore but he could never deny him anything he wanted and when he held up those little arms he had no choice but to lift him up. "And how high did you go on the swings?"

Devlin held his arms straight up, "This high!"

He couldn't help but laugh at his son's excitement, "Wow buddy, that's pretty darn high." He frowned a little and looked at Alexis, "He looks burnt."

She arched an eyebrow, "He has on so much sunscreen it's unbelievable, I'm assuming it's the Irish in him."

"Probably," he grinned. "Only time I tan is coming off a burn. So now what are you two up to?"

"Smoothies!" Devlin blurted. "Mommy is taking me to get a smoothie."

He kissed his son's cheek and set him down, "Well I shouldn't keep you." Turning his attention away from his son who was now holding Alexis's hand and standing closely to her he leaned down and kissed her tenderly, "Thanks for swinging by."

She ran her hand down his cheek and stared into his eyes which were particularly blue on this sunny day, "I'll see you when you get home tonight, I love you."

After one more kiss he took a step back, "I love you too."

They separated and Castle took a step back to remain hidden and waited until everyone was gone before he leaned against the exterior of the old building and mentally slapped himself. How could he be so blind? Watching them together he saw what Alexis and Ryan had tried to explain to him but he had been too angry to listen. They were in love; the small touches, the soft smiles, the looks they gave each other. This wasn't a casual thing; they were playing in the forever game. Devlin was even referring to his daughter as mommy. They were a family and he should be happy for that fact. Alexis had found someone who loved her more than life and as a bonus a child who adored her. He should be happy for his friend too, that he found someone who helped him return to the happy go lucky Ryan that was there when he first teamed up with them and loves his child as much as he does. The veil had been lifted and now all he had to do was mend the one bridge that he hoped he hadn't completely burned.

When he stepped back onto the homicide floor he approached Ryan's desk and sat down, watching him write things down as he spoke on the phone with someone, his clipped tone indicating the conversation wasn't providing much insight into their current case. When he hung up he simply stood and walked away without a glance at the writer.

Castle looked at Beckett who raised her eyebrows and with a sigh he jumped up and ran to the elevator barely making it in before the doors slid shut. Ryan glanced at him but stayed quiet until the elevator opened and Castle tried to follow him out.

"No. Go bother Beckett," he snapped.

Castle ignored him and stepped out of the elevator and saw they were alone in the basement, the place they kept old records. "We need to talk."

Ryan spun around and headed down an isle, "No we don't. We both said what we thought and that's it. Just leave it."

The other man followed him closely and finally grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, "Just listen please."

Ryan glared at the hand on his shoulder and crossed his arms, "What?"

"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. Alexis is my world and I don't always think clearly when it comes to her, obviously. A lot of the things I said were wrong and I had no right to bring up Jenny. In the time I've known you you've always done the right thing even when it upset everyone around you, you're not manipulative or a user. You're not broken or fixable or anything like that, you're just Ryan and if you make Alexis happy than I have no right to say anything. I should have trusted my daughter's and your judgment instead of jumping to conclusions and accusing people of things. I also apologize for hitting you."

As soon as he finished Ryan arched an eyebrow, "You done? Because I have work to do."

Castle wilted a little as the detective walked away, "How can I make this better? Money? Dedication in my next book?"

"Now you're just insulting me," he replied as he pulled out a box and brought it over to a table to go through it.

"The Ferrari and my house in the Hamptons for a weekend. You and Alexis can go and I'll watch Devlin."

That got his attention, maybe he was being sincere with his apology if he was giving him a go ahead to take his daughter away on a vacation. Castle was excellent at playing people and fibbing, hence him always winning at poker and Ryan took a moment to think about everything to make sure he wasn't being played. While he never liked to admit it he wasn't as quick as everyone else, hence Jerry Tyson getting the drop on him when he didn't follow Castle's train of thought. He seemed sincere and truly apologetic and even though the argument they had had been brutal he still knew Castle was a stand up guy. The younger of the two slowly turned and faced the other with narrowed eyes, "A week and Dev's with us half the time."

"Anything," he replied before holding out is hand, pleased that Ryan was bargaining with him like usual. "Let bygones by bygones?"

Ryan shook his offered hand, "Yeah and I'm sorry again for not talking to you about it, that should have been the first thing. This might have gone over a lot smoother if I had just manned up and spoken to you about it. You were right that it was disrespectful and I'll find a way to make it up to you. I get that I'm not what you wanted for Alexis..."

Castle stopped him, "Alexis is young and the fact you have Devlin made me nervous but then I realized this is Alexis we're talking about. She's more mature than all of us put together and the age thing is more to do with the fact that I know you. We work together and sometimes I forget how much younger you are than all of us, especially me. It's easy to just think of you as my friend from work but it's more difficult to see you for you. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah I get it. You always see Ryan the detective and not Kevin the person. You should hang out with Javi and I sometime away from the precinct and all the work stuff, maybe take in a game."

"That would be nice and as for making it up to me how about you let me try out one of my hair brained schemes on the next case and divert Beckett's attention away when she gets angry. Also you and Esposito have to go along with it regardless of how foolish you two may have to look or act."

"Apparently you've thought about this, fine. Deal." They both grinned and felt all the tension begin to evaporate. "You know, some of the stuff you said was true. Sometimes I think I'm a lost cause too but I'm working on fixing everything, trying to move past the shooting and what happened to Jenny. The last thing I would want to do is drag Alexis down, I know how special she is and I really do love her. I'd never hurt her and I hope you know that."

Castle sat on the edge of the table and nodded, "I do know that and I'm sorry I questioned your intentions so harshly, seems we both said and did things without thinking." Ryan agreed and continued digging through the box in front of him looking for a file. "Alexis never said anything to me about our blow out, did you not tell her?"

He paused and looked up from the box before shaking his head, "It was between you and I, there was no reason to get her involved. Last thing I would want is her feeling like she had to choose between us because we both know who she would choose and it sure wouldn't be me." The words were spoken honestly and without any detectable bitterness.

Castle felt warmth at the fact his daughter would choose him over anyone else and also respect for Ryan for acknowledging that fact and being ok with it. This was the Ryan he knew, not the deceitful and apparently cowardly one that appeared recently. "Now that we're speaking again I'm sure you've heard I'm having a party next week and I'd like if it you came. I'm sure Alexis would too."

He flipped the folder he was looking at closed and handed it to Castle before bringing the box back to where it belonged on the shelves. "I'll be there."

They walked to the elevator and rode back up to homicide, Castle grabbing him before he could exit. "Will you please tell Esposito we're good? He keeps glaring at me and it's getting really distracting."

He laughed and glanced at his partner who was watching them cautiously. "Yeah, I'll call him off."

Castle clapped Ryan on the shoulder and walked over to Beckett with a smirk. "Problem solved. I used my cunning linguistic skills to convince him to let it go."

"Right."

"And I may have offered him the Ferrari and my house in the Hamptons for a week but I'm pretty sure it was my words that did the trick," he pressed on after dropping into his chair by the lead detectives desk.

She grinned, "Of course. Well I'm glad you got things worked out with your daddy's boy."

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"You know the boys call us mom and dad, well Espo is my momma's boy and Ryan is your daddy's boy. Have you seriously not noticed how much he follows you around? He's read every one of your books at least twice."

When he thought about it it did seem true. Esposito was always on Kate's side while Ryan always came to his defense. "That's pretty good. 'Our boys'. Ha!"

"Just think Castle," she started as her grin turned mischievous. "If he and Alexis get married he really will be your daddy's boy."

He shook his head, "Don't even go there. I just started to feel ok about them dating, don't even talk marriage."

Esposito watched Castle through narrowed eyes when he headed to Beckett's desk and as soon as Ryan sat down in his chair he leaned forward to talk quietly. "Writer boy apologize?"

"Yeah, he wasn't wrong to be upset but he just said things really harshly. It is not fun to be on his bad side."

"I wish you'd just tell me what he said, it must have pretty bad."

Ryan shook his head, "Doesn't change anything and while I appreciate your concern I can fight my own battles. So my lead didn't pan out, you got anything?"

He shook his head and opened his mouth but was interrupted by borderline frantic movement by Beckett's desk as she hung up her phone. With a quick look to his partner they walked over and waited for her to inform them what was happening.

Beckett cast a weary look at Ryan before speaking to Esposito. "We just got a hit on our APB. Wayne was just spotted at a hotel a short drive from here. We're getting a TAC team organized then we'll go." When she looked at Ryan he knew this wasn't going to be what he wanted to hear. "Ryan you're staying here."

"What? No way," he argued. "I have every right to be there."

Esposito and Castle wisely stayed silent when Beckett shook her head. "We can't risk this Ryan, can't risk you. There's no way of knowing if you can be objective and keep your emotions in check when you see him. It's not safe for you or the team."

He was stunned; did she really think he was a danger to them and himself? "I have to go. He put two holes in me Beckett, I'm not going to just sit here like an invalid. Don't do this to me, don't take this away from me."

Knowing they needed to move she relented and nodded, grabbing Esposito before he could follow Ryan. "You stay with him and watch him. We are not going to lose him when we just got him back."

He didn't even have to be told but he nodded anyway before jogging after his partner. A half hour later Esposito released a hail of Spanish curses when he realized he had gotten separated from his partner, again. Beckett had given him one job, one single thing to do and he had messed it up. How did this keep happening, was Ryan just really quick and quiet or was he just completely oblivious to the people around him? Hoping the TAC team or someone else would find him he pressed on, praying this all worked out like it was supposed to.

Ryan halted when he heard a noise and felt a small stab of fear at the fact he was completely alone, where the hell was his partner? Knowing he needed to focus he stilled and tried to listen for the noise again, he only had a split second to react as someone charged him. Instinct took over when Wayne appeared heading full speed towards him and he slammed himself against the wall so he could run past. As soon as he was clear he took off after him, exiting out of the stairwell and into the parking lot behind the hotel.

Ryan tried to catch up but he had too much of a head start, there was only one way to stop him. He dug his heels into the concrete and took aim, his arms rising and head tilting to line up his shot through the scope on his AR. His finger was just about to pull the trigger when the devil on his shoulder began to whisper to him. Wayne was running; he had every excuse to stop him with a bullet but what if that bullet wasn't non-fatal? What if he shifted his attention away from his legs and put it on his back? One pull and the person that had tormented him in his dreams for months would cease to exist. He had a good reputation; no one would question the shot or the motive, he could essentially get away with murder. Except he wasn't that person, he wasn't like the rest of his family who were filled with rage and a temper that couldn't be tamed. Right?

Knowing it was now or never he adjusted his aim and pulled the trigger.

Esposito faltered when he heard the shot ring out. There was no way in hell that this happened again, that Ryan had been injured because of his negligence. It was his job to have his back and he had lost him. Again. With a head filled with the worst possibilities he began to sprint towards the noise.

He flew around the corner and frantically looked around, his heart hammering and breath ragged. Relief flooded over him when he saw his partner was standing but it quickly fled him when he saw Ryan walking towards his shooter with a look of malice unlike any other. He quickly made his way towards them and stopped a few feet away, "Ry put your gun down, you got him."

Ryan never moved, the barrel of his assault rifle pointing directly at Wayne's head while the man on the ground groaned in pain from the hole in his leg. The Irishman was shaking with adrenaline yet his aim remained steady, his fingers wrapped tightly around the trigger and the pistol grip. His eyes held so much hate and disdain, not even a hint of the usual warmth could be found.

Esposito looked behind him when he heard footsteps and held up his hands to make Beckett and Castle stop a safe distance away. This had just turned into a hostage negotiation and if there was one person who could talk Ryan off the edge it was his partner. "He's not worth it Ry, just put your gun away and let me cuff him. I know what he did to you and he'll pay for it but you can't be the one that serves that punishment. Come on bro."

Ryan still held Wayne's gaze and when he spoke he spoke to him and him alone. "Do you feel that Wayne, that overwhelming fear? That sense of helplessness, the feeling of someone else holding your life in their hands?" The man on the pavement could only nod and when Ryan shifted slightly he flinched. "You shot me without remorse and I'm having a real hard time not returning the favor."

At this moment Esposito's question from the day they went to the hockey game was answered. It wasn't a question that Ryan couldn't seriously harm someone, it was the fact he wouldn't. Ryan held the same temper and capacity for assault that his father, uncle, and grandfather did except unlike them he also held compassion. "You're better than your dad Ry."

That finally elicited a response from the Irishman and his fingers relaxed a fraction on his rifle, his face finally showing a hint of doubt. Minutes ticked by, Castle staring at Beckett waiting for direction, Beckett doing the same with Esposito. This was what she had been worried about. Death wasn't the only way to lose someone; she had seen many an officer make a wrong decision on the job, years of wear and tear finally coming to a head. If Ryan pulled that trigger his life was over and unlike death they wouldn't have closure, they'd have a friend rotting in prison until he finally died.

"It took me months to get back to somewhat normal and you couldn't care less." His grip tightened again and Wayne slammed his eyes shut in anticipation. "You're lucky I have things to lose," he quietly gritted out before flipping on the safety on his gun and stepping back. Esposito ran past him to cuff the bleeding man and Beckett called for a bus all while casting concerned looks at Ryan who had just walked away from the scene. Surprisingly it was Castle who went after him.

He found him leaning against the side of a building, hands over his face as he sucked in harsh breaths through his nose. Not wanting to startle someone already spooked he scuffed his shoes a little on his approach and quietly leaned against the wall next to him.

"I could have shot him and not even blinked Castle. What does that make me?"

"Human," he answered honestly. "He almost killed you Ryan, almost took you away from your son. No one blames you and the important thing is you didn't pull the trigger."

He dropped his hands and held himself back from punching the wall; a broken hand wouldn't help anything. "But I wanted to."

At times Ryan seemed so worldly and aged and other times he seemed so young and innocent. It was times like right now where it was a mix of the two that he had the hardest time figuring out what to say but sometimes winging it got the best results. "We all think things we aren't proud of sometimes; some people act on them like murderers and others ignore them, like police officers."

"You were right that I shouldn't be out here."

"No," he responded instantly. "I was wrong, you'd never put anyone in danger. It would have been strange if you hadn't reacted to Wayne in some way. We're human Ryan and it's our emotions that make us human. Whether you realize it or not you wouldn't ever pull that trigger and deep down we all knew that, that's why Esposito never tried to take you down and Beckett never pulled her gun on you."

He finally looked up and offered a tight smile, "Thanks Castle. I'm screwed if Beckett puts this in the report, I'll be out until they deem me safe for active duty."

A female voice caught their attention from a few feet away, "We protect our own Ryan and you've covered me more times than I can count. It was a lapse, it happens." Beckett walked to his other side and bumped his shoulder, "People think it takes a strong person to go for it but true strength is shown when someone can walk away. You did good."

The last member of their team walked over and nodded at the ambulance, "After a few stitches he'll be off the streets for good. Through and through in his calve, nice shot bro."

Castle and Beckett left them alone and the pair began making their way back to the Charger. Esposito could see Ryan was still struggling with what happened and even though he wanted to try to talk to him he knew he needed to speak to someone else about this. When the car stopped Ryan popped out of his daze and looked around, "I'm home. Why am I home? We have paperwork to do and my clothes are at the station."

Javier shook his head and squeezed his shoulder, "I got this one bro and your clothes will be there tomorrow, you go spend some time with Dev and Alexis."

"Thanks bro," he whispered as he climbed out and trudged up to his apartment, feeling out of place dressed head to toe in tactical gear minus his AR-15. It was only when he was staring at his door did he realize his keys were back at the precinct. Hoping someone was home he knocked and only a second later the door swung open and Alexis pulled him inside and gathered him into a hug.

He melted into her embrace and offered a small smile to his son who was wrapped around his leg. "My dad called," she whispered to him. "He didn't tell me what happened, just said you'd need me and Dev." Leave it to Castle to make it better, Ryan thought to himself. Even after everything that happened between them Castle was still watching out for him, it was humbling to say the least.

"We got him," he said thickly and when Alexis placed a questioning hand over his vest where his scars sat he nodded. He repeated it again, just to hear the words one more time that he had prayed he would get to say one day. "We got him."