A/N: Chapter 21! Sorry for the long wait, but here it is. Only a few more to got!
Disclaimer: I own nothing recognized from Harry Potter :)
Chapter 21 – For Better or Worse
Sweat trickled down Hermione's back in the July sun as she walked along the garden path. Draco had returned from Bulgaria that morning and Hermione had escaped to the garden to calm her nerves. According to the pregnancy test she had taken, she was now about two months along, and she knew it was time to tell Draco. For a moment Hermione considered running, since the trace had been removed, but it was one thing to risk her own life, another to risk her baby's. It was a concept Hermione was still struggling to wrap her brain around. Inside her a little person was growing and would need her to survive.
A wave of nausea rolled through her and Hermione gagged, quickly leaning over an empty cauldron. Once the fit of morning sickness had subsided, Hermione Vanished the contents of the cauldron just in time to see Draco enter the greenhouse. Relief washed over Hermione, to see him home and unharmed. Her relief was followed by a wave of self-consciousness – she was sweaty and had just been sick. She wished she had time to at least do a teeth cleaning charm, or grab a Tooth Splintering Strong Mint. Hermione chastised herself at her vain thoughts, and reminded herself that she was still mad at him.
"Hermione," he breathed when he saw her, "I thought I mind find you out here." His arms rose automatically to embrace her, and seeing the circles under his eyes and overall weariness, Hermione couldn't refuse him and stepped into the embrace. She inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne and felt some of the tension ease of out her. She counted his heartbeats and felt his breath in her hair.
She pulled back, the truth about their baby ready to bubble from her lips when she saw Snape and Lucius walking along the path toward the greenhouse. Draco followed her gaze and sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"I have another assignment this afternoon," he explained to her. The words died on Hermione's lips, and she moved back to her work table, frowning. "But I thought we could spend some time together soon, maybe get back to your training?"
"No, I don't think that's a good idea," she replied, before abruptly asking, "will you be home tonight?" She wondered to herself when the Manor had become home. "I need to talk to you."
"Let's talk when I get back then," Draco replied, looking at her pensively, before retreating to where his father and Snape awaited him.
Draco had felt Hermione's defenses go up the moment she had stepped out of his arms. He had missed holding her. Being with her. His mind wandered automatically to their steamy nights in the Room of Requirement. He scowled, hating that he had been stuck in Bulgaria when he could have been coming home to her in his bed every night. He forced himself to remember that he ruined his chance of that himself the moment he lied to her, and the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.
He felt the sting of rejection from her refusal to continue training with him. He wondered what she wanted to talk to him about. Her serious expression told him it was something important, outside of their current tumultuous relationship. Probably something to do with the Order, he decided sullenly.
"Come on, Draco," his father said clapping him on the shoulder as he passed. "Let's get to the Ministry, I'd like to be home for supper."
Draco apparated a moment after his father, landing in the foyer of the Ministry. It looked much the same as when he had left. Dark, crowded, and covered in posters of Potter's face. He noticed a few with Weasley, and unsurprisingly several other members of the Order. He noticed one recurring face, however, that he did not recognize. The woman had large, blue, doe-like eyes, and wispy chestnut coloured hair. She looked small and timid enough, so Draco was surprised to see that the price for her head was only marginally lower than Potter's. He increased his pace to match his father's and subtly nudged him.
"What's her story?" Draco asked, nodding to one of the posters as they passed. Lucius glanced at it and grimaced.
"She's a Seer," he said, 'the one who has predicted that another mystery baby could lead to the Dark Lord's downfall." Lucius's words were careful, but Draco could tell from his tone that he thought the tale unlikely.
"That's a steep reward there are offering," Draco offered, in the hopes to loosen his father's tongue.
"Well, after what happened with the Undesirable One, the Dark Lord isn't taking any chances," Lucius said.
"He didn't exactly take the first prophecy lightly either," Draco said, thinking of his fifth year.
"No, but he hadn't gotten to the point of slaughtering babies who barely posed a risk, then," Lucius replied.
"Didn't he try to slaughter Potter in his cradle?" Draco asked mildly. Lucius's expression was fierce as he dragged Draco off course and into a secluded hallway.
"Be careful, Draco, your tongue is going to get us killed," Lucius said, casting a glance over his shoulder. His fingers pinched into Draco's shoulders, and he fought the urge to pull away. "You weren't around the first time, you don't know what he's like when threatened."
"Threatened?" Draco laughed. "By some daft Seer? Has he considered that maybe someone is just winding him up?" Lucius's fingers bit deeper into his flesh, and Draco remembered a day long ago when he had spoken out of turn at a family gathering and Lucius had clutched his hand so hard it had bruised. Draco had thought those days were behind him. He jerked his shoulder free, and was about to retort, but Lucius was ahead of him.
"I know it sounds ridiculous," Lucius snapped. "The real threat doesn't come from the Seer, it comes from his reactions. He may have gone after Potter, but that was once he had a lead that he was the child of the prophecy, which as it turned out, was right. I doubt he will be a selective in who he kills this time."
Draco still thought it was nonsense, but he had long since realized that the Dark Lord was not sound of mind, so he let the issue drop. They moved back into the main hall, and onto the lift. Just as they were stepping off, a balding Wizard in black charcoal grey robes stepped on. Draco held back a grimace at the man's appearance. Across his lips was coarse black stitching, thick enough to hold his lips together. The new breed of Unspeakables. Draco did not want to imagine what the Dark Lord had them working on.
It was past nightfall when Draco and Lucius exited the Ministry through the street level exit. Draco felt a headache coming on, and couldn't wait to lie in his bed. And despite their current dispute, he knew Hermione would be asleep in his bed when he returned. Having her sleep next to him, all warm and soft, was a luxury he now knew would not be his forever.
He was surprised, when he finally made it to his room to find Hermione awake and reading. She looked up when arrived, and he saw exhaustion etched into her face.
"I didn't expect you still be up," he said quietly, as he removed his robe and found his pajama bottoms.
"I told you I wanted to talk to you," Hermione said. She closed her book, and watched him dress for bed, making Draco both self-conscious and aroused. He slipped into bed next to her. He felt the tension in the room, and waited silently for her to tell him whatever it was that was bothering her so much. By now he knew she wasn't just trying to recruit him for the Order again, that discussion could have waited until morning. He wondered for a moment if she had heard from Potter. But he wouldn't be so foolish, not with her living at the Manor.
"Draco, I don't know how to tell you this," she began, and Draco felt every muscle in his body tense. "I'm pregnant."
Draco felt his jaw slacken at her words, and felt numb. A baby. They were going to have a baby. He sat motionless, as his mind whirled in a million directions. He was shocked, and almost elated by the surprise of it. He knew they would need to have a baby soon. It was the next step in the Marriage Law. He had dreaded it to be honest, being forced to have a child felt more medieval to him than an arranged marriage had. His delight was matched with terror. This was his baby and his wife, and he needed to protect them. The thought of caring for an infant had often scared Draco enough, but to protect one during a war, that was truly frightening.
Draco looked at Hermione for the first time since she had spoken. She had been silently watching him take in the news. She sat absorbing each expression on his face, while she herself looked concerned and scared and defiant. He wanted to kiss her. The mother of his child. So he did.
He pressed his lips against hers softly. How could he have forgotten how soft they were? How exquisite she tasted? He pressed his tongue into her mouth, tasting her fully, before pulling away to kiss her stomach. There was no bump, but still, that was where his baby was. He held his head there, and felt Hermione's hands sift through his hair.
Turning his head a glimpse of black distracted him for a moment. An ugly skull stared blankly at him from her arm, and his heart seemed to stop. She was marked. His hands tightened imperceptibly around her. They had marked Hermione. His wife. He closed his eyes. The Dark Mark was permanent, no spell or potion could remove it. She would forever be tainted by it. Draco had been bothered by his mark several times, but it had become a reminder of the consequences of his actions. Hermione did not deserve it. His eyes burned, but he squeezed them shut until the feeling stopped. Then as carefully as he could, he turned her arm and pressed his lips to it. They were bound by it now.
"I didn't want this for you," was all he managed to say, keeping his head bowed over her arm.
"I made my choices, too, Draco," she said, her fingers danced along his face, and his eyes fluttered closed again. "And no matter what my choices have cost me, I wouldn't trade this," she said, placing her hand on her belly, "to go back and change my mind."
Draco's chest felt tight as he sat up to look at her. He took her face in his hands, staring deep into her warm brown eyes. "I promise I will make this up to you. I will do everything in my power to keep you and our child safe. No matter how this war turns out, or whatever happens between us, I will always put you both first."
"You already have," Hermione said quietly. Even though she hadn't agreed with everything Draco had done, she realized that in his mind he had done what was best for them. So she leaned in and kissed him first, for the first time in months, and felt the familiar flutter in her stomach as her body ached for him.
Hermione pressed closer to him, running her hands along his back, his chest, taking in as much of him as she could. Hermione knew what was coming for them was going to be difficult, but in that moment she was grateful to know that Draco would be beside her every step of the way. And there was no one else she would trust to take this journey with.
She shivered as his lips and tongue touched her neck, as his fingers felt her breasts beneath her thin nightgown. A part of her wanted him to continue the slow torture, but a larger part of her wanted to feel him inside her again, to be whole in a way she hadn't felt in what felt like a lifetime. She took his mouth, and rose to her knees, attempting to free herself from her clothing and kiss him senseless at the same time. Draco pulled back, helping her, and ran his hands along her body, causing Hermione to sigh his name.
He lowered his mouth to her as her hands fell to his pants, unlacing them. Draco groaned, and the sensation made Hermione's hips twitch toward his. Somehow sensing that she was ready, Draco hovered above her, pressing his body against her as he entered her slowly. It didn't take long for them both to come undone, and though war raged around them, they both slept peacefully that night.
Hermione's vision was blurred with hazy green steam as she stirred the cauldron counterclockwise. Suddenly the potion turned a vibrant orange, and Hermione smiled down at her handiwork, before lowering the heat to keep the potion at a simmer. It would need to simmer for sixty-five minutes.
While Hermione waited on the potion, she strolled casually along the green house, surreptitiously checking the perimeter for prying eyes. Once she was sure the coast was clear, she made her way to an alcove near the back wall, hung with vines of thick ivy. Fiddling with the vines, it took her a moment to find the latch that would unlock the door hidden behind the leaves. She pulled it open, the ivy straining against it in a tangled mass, and just managed to slip through. After hearing the door click shut behind her she lit the lantern that she knew was handing by the door with a flick of her wand.
The room was bathed in a soft golden light, revealing several dusty surfaces. Hermione remembered when she had first found the secret room, several weeks ago. It was covered by dust, as it was now, and cobwebs. There was a shelf filled with an odd assortment of potion ingredients and an abandoned work table with a stone mortar and pestle and several knives for chopping ingredients. Finding the hidden room had given Hermione a new appreciation for the Manor, like Hogwarts it was full of history, and secrets...and dust.
"Scourgify," Hermione said, and immediately the dust vanished from every corner of the room, allowing her to breathe easier. She had become more cautious in her habits since finding out that she was pregnant.
"We aren't going to be able to fit through that door in a few months," she said down to her stomach, as she laid a hand against it. She wasn't showing yet, but she would be soon. She had been careful to hide her symptoms from the ever perceptive Narcissa, but her morning sickness was making it difficult.
Making her way to the shelf of jars, Hermione crouched down to retrieve a jar labeled Armadillo Bile. The jar was discoloured and cloudy from age, masking its contents. She whispered the spell that would unlock it, before prying the jar open. Immediately she felt a dull thrum of magic escape from the two vials concealed there.
She plucked the silvery vial out first, followed by her own blue potion. She felt the heavy weight of the magic, one vial in each hand. She had taken the potions from their hiding spot almost every day since she had completed them. Draco had been in Bulgaria at the time, making it easier for her to silence her own doubts. Not once had she doubted that her potions would be successful in breaking their Matriomonial Vow – she had tested them as far as magic would allow. It was the less rational side of her that was plagued with worry, and guilt, and a disappointment she didn't quite understand.
She had new concerns now, with the little complication growing inside of her. Hermione held her stomach again tenderly. Everything had changed now. Did she want to raise her baby with a broken home? It was a concept foreign to her, having been the only product of her parents' happy marriage. She had never felt a shortage of love or security in her childhood. The other side of her brain questioned whether raising her baby as a Malfoy, with all the ties to the Dark Lord, would be even more harmful.
Hermione had not felt the magic of the potions for a few days, since Draco had learned of her pregnancy. He had been nothing short of comforting and attentive. Hermione had actually had to tell him to stop hovering over her, because he would draw attention. She was even farther from her decision than she had been when she had brewed the potions. Sighing, she returned them to their spot on the shelf, concealed in the jar of Armadillo Bile. She crept back through the door, casting a quick spell behind her to return the room to its previous, dusty state.
Hermione returned to the greenhouse and checked the time on her potions. They had not finished simmering, and since they did not require her attention, Hermione's thoughts drifted back to Draco. She was angry with him from keeping her from Harry and Ron, and her anger had fueled her while she worked on the potion. Now that her anger had simmered, she could not ignore that part of her wanted to keep him. Her mind wandered to the previous afternoon…
Hands closed over her eyes, and Hermione tensed for a moment, before recognizing Draco's familiar form and relaxing against him.
"I have a surprise for you," he said, then hesitated, "well it's for the baby really." His voice was low, but still Hermione glanced anxiously at the closed door. Living at Malfoy Manor, Hermione knew there were eyes and ears everywhere.
"The coast is clear," he said, as if he had a read her mind. It was a trend Hermione had begun to notice since she had told him of her pregnancy. They were attuned to each other now, in a way they hadn't been before. He didn't need Legilimency to read her mind.
"So what's this surprise?" Hermione asked, falling for the boyish grin that she hadn't seen him wear before. Draco reached into his robes, pulling out a fluffy blue dragon. Hermione reached for the toy smiling as small tufts of smoke unfurled from its nostrils.
"And look when you turn out the lights, look," Draco said, directing his wand at the chandelier and putting out the lights. Hermione gasped, as a soft blue glow emitted from the little dragon turning the room into a sparkling night sky complete with constellations.
Hermione's face was brightened with wonder at the beautiful sky surrounding her. Draco's lips brushed her cheek, and Hermione sighed, leaning into his embrace and pondering the starry sky. His hands rested on her stomach, and Hermione rested her hands over his. And in that moment, Hermione knew this was her family now – for better or worse.
The Manor was eerily quiet, with his parents in Russia Draco felt its vastness more than ever. He had restricted the elves from his quarters to give him and Hermione some much needed privacy. He had sensed a change in her. She was coming around, and starting to forgive him. He wanted to make the most of it. Having Hermione in his life had been a bright spot he never could have anticipated.
He heard shuffling and followed the noise down the hall to his old nursery, where he found Hermione. He paused for a moment watching her peer into boxes of his baby things. Marriage with Hermione was better than anything he could ever have imagined with whomever his parents would have arranged for him. She was smart, and loyal, and stronger than Draco was. But he was going to do better for her and for their baby.
He moved smoothly behind her, grabbing a box from her hands so she wouldn't haul the entire weight, and felt her bristle against him. He smirked against his better judgment, and was awarded with a shove that sent him toppling into the wall.
"Being pregnant doesn't make me an invalid," she hissed at him, as he chuckled and set the box right. He dodged easily as she flung a baby shoe at him, and caught it before it hit the ground. Damn Potter, he thought, if it weren't for him Slytherin probably could have taken the cup. He voiced the thought aloud without thinking, and then paused waiting for Hermione's anger.
"Boys and their Quidditch," she snapped, rolling her eyes, and pulling out a toddler sized broom and frowned.
"I think Harry had a broom like this once," she said softly. Draco hesitated, not sure what to say on the topic of Potter after having lied to her about him.
"I keep thinking what it must have been like for his parents," Hermione said, and paused, "being hunted by him." Draco's heart stuttered, it was as if she knew what had secretly been troubling him.
"I wanted to talk to you about that," he said. "The Dark Lord is taking this prophecy seriously, and if word got out, we would be in danger."
"More danger than we are now," Hermione quipped through tight lips.
"Our baby would be in danger, Hermione," he reiterated. "I know you don't put much stock in Divination, and to be honest neither do I. But that doesn't reduce the threat You-Know-Who poses given that he believes it to be true. Especially after what happened with Potter."
"I find it difficult to believe that there are two prophecies that just happen to predict there are babies that could defeat Voldemort," Hermione retorted. Her eyes darted, and Draco wondered how much she knew about the first prophecy, and how much of it she would keep from him.
"So do I," Draco agreed, deciding to take a logical approach. "It's likely someone trying to throw him off track, but he's so paranoid that it's working. And whether there is truth in the prophecy or not, he has already started acting against it. He is killing babies, Hermione." Draco forced the words out, hating the horror that crossed her face.
"We are standing by someone who…" Hermione stuttered over the words.
"You know we don't stand by it," Draco said. "Your role has provided the Order with valuable information, and while he has the Ministry, your information has prevented him from fully infiltrating Hogwarts." He noticed her eyes widen, surprised that he had noted how much she had worked against them.
"I knew what you were from the beginning," Draco reminded her. "We both knew what we were getting into. But the situation has changed and it's not just our lives we have to think of. If he finds out you are pregnant he will kill you both." Draco's body chilled at the thought, but forced the thought aside. It would not get to that point – not if he could help it.
"Would the Order help us?" He asked. "We wouldn't be able to keep spying, but I can figure out other ways to help them. If they could hide you and the baby, I will do whatever is necessary to stop him."
"Draco that wasn't what you…" she began.
"It's what I want now," Draco said stubbornly. He didn't regret his choice not to spy for the Order before, it was a risk that would likely get him killed. But he would pay the price if it kept Hermione safe. Hermione was silent for a long time, making Draco nervous.
"I don't think we should tell them," Hermione's voice was barely audible. "They couldn't protect Harry's family, and they had Dumbledore on their side back then." Draco noticed, with some confusion, that she said their and not our. Since when had she not been on the Order's side?
"All it takes is one person to slip up…to betray us," she said, sounding more like herself. "It would be different if we could contact Harry and Ron, but the Order's leadership is not as strong as it used to be. McGonagall might be able to help us, but we can't risk this secret getting out. No one can know."
"Then I think our time here has ended," he said.
They left the nursery together, and between the two of them managed to pack everything they needed. Hermione, Draco had found, was a typical women in that she felt the need to pack for any occasion. He would have rather travelled light, but they had found a middle ground when Hermione had charmed a small bag to fit everything they could possibly need and more. Night was falling quickly, and Draco was taking care of the last touches.
He had charmed their bed, working hard to make the spell untraceable, so that it would feel warm to the touch. Once their absence was noted, it would help if no one knew how long they had been gone. As Draco left their room, his eyes landed on his blue dragon. He picked it up, and added it to the bag without a second thought. Who knew what would become of it once they were gone.
Coming Up in Till Death Do Us Part:
"A Malfoy doesn't turn his back on his family," he spat, and turned to the door.
"A Malfoy doesn't turn his back on his family," he spat, and turned towards the door.