Losing Makoto

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

"Haru!" cried Rin, stunned to see his friend and rival here in Tokyo, standing in front of him, wasn't he supposed to be in Iwatobi?

"Rin!" Haru was equally surprised, what was Rin doing here on friday evening? Didn't Rin and Makoto meet-up during weekends only? Being a straightforward person, Haru simply asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I am staying here for the time being," said Rin, after taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"Why?" demanded Haru.

"Does it matter?" asked Rin irritated, "What are you doing here?"

Haru glared at him and roughly pushed him aside to enter the apartment and drop his bag. That was when Rin noticed Haru had a rather large and heavy looking bag and clearly looked like he was here for a long stay. Rin's heart dropped. It was over, his time with Makoto was over because when Haru was around, everybody paled into insignificance and Makoto only had eyes for Haru.

"Where's Makoto?" demanded Haru.

"He's at his photoshoot at the aquarium," said Rin, "You know the merman shoot."

"Merman shoot?" wondered Haru.

"Ah… didn't he tell you?" asked Rin surprised.

"No…" Haru felt panic rise within him, just how dangerous was his photoshoot. Suddenly he was running out the door.

"Haru!" Rin called, confused and a bit annoyed. Really, Haru could be such a handful. He barely remembered to lock the door behind him as he chased after Haru.

He didn't have to run too far however, as reason dawned on Haru soon and he stopped to wait for Rin. Tokyo afterall had four aquariums with two others located in nearby Yokohama and Enoshima respectively. Plus he probably would need some sort of special credentials to get in to see Makoto and he needed to see Makoto. See his smile, he just had to.

Makoto's shoot was in Sunshine Aquarium in Ikebukuro, which was some distance away. The train ride there was a frigid affair. Rin had forgotten what it was like to be on the wrong side of Haru. It's was the same as when he first ran him to Haru and the others back in the old swim club. It was more what it had been like when they were in the sixth grade and Haru had been utterly unsociable with him. Haru had changed since then and he no longer treated other people as coldly or brashly, letting some of the warmth that had always been inside seep out. But right now, right now Haru was back to the cold child who was trying to drive Rin away before Rin even made any attempts to get close. Rin didn't really want to deal with that Haru again.

For his part, Haru was just mad at Makoto. He was angry that none of the texts Makoto sent him recently mention Rin was staying with him for longer than a night. He was angry that Makoto hadn't mentioned this merman shoot. Actually, now that he thought about it, Makoto hadn't chatted with him for long in the last week or so. Haru now guessed it was because Rin was around and Makoto didn't feel right being on chat with Haru for too long with Rin hovering about. Haru had simply assumed Makoto had been busy and was tired.

As the train ride went on, Haru started to calm down and reason started to rear its head. Makoto must not have mentioned Rin was staying with him because Haru's response to the statement "hey, Rin is staying with me" would have been "why?" and Haru guessed Makoto did not want to share the "why" with Haru. Probably it was something personal for Rin and so Makoto felt uncomfortable sharing it.

As for the merman thing… Haru didn't have the faintest clue why Makoto had chosen to keep that from him. Haru suspected some measure of freediving would be involved but given Makoto was at an indoor aquarium, it meant that the open sea was not involved in any way shape or form. So why didn't Makoto just tell him.

Haru tried to think back to his last trip to the Sunshine Aquarium. It had been a few years since his parents had taken him there but it couldn't have changed that much. Come of think of it. Weren't most of the tanks at the Sunshine Aquarium small window type tanks that only had a few select variety of fish. Indeed the only really large tanks at the Aquarium were the shark tanks… No!

Haru was so agitated that he couldn't sit still. He started fidgeting, he stood-up but then sat down again. Why was this train not moving faster! "What the hell is wrong with you?" demanded Rin, losing patience.

Haru glared at him, "Did you know Makoto was swimming in a shark tank?"

"Huh?" Rin was surprised.

"I have been to all the aquariums in Tokyo," replied Haru, Rin wouldn't be surprised if Haru had been to every aquarium in Japan at least once, "The only tanks big enough for Makoto to swim in at the Sunshine Aquarium are the shark tanks!"

Now Rin looked worried, "I didn't know," he confessed, "He didn't tell me, damn it!" Didn't they just promised to be honest with each other.

Although Rin was sure in Makoto's mind it was all in keeping with his promise to Rin or maybe since Makoto had already shared what he wanted to about the shoot with Rin before the promise, he didn't feel like offering-up additional details after the promise was made. Rin tried to think back to what Makoto had said about the shoot but couldn't recall sharks being mentioned. He just mentioned that he would be in a tank with an artificial reef because that was the prettiest setting. Rin had never visited any of the aquariums in Tokyo and so even if he wasn't stressed and pre-occupied with his own crap, he wouldn't have been able to pick-up on the fact that the reef tank Makoto mentioned contained sharks. Given how little information Haru needed to deduce that Makoto was swimming in a shark tank was a good indication that Haru would have known and so Makoto had simply omitted the whole shoot.

He had also not mentioned Rin's prolonged stay but Rin could guess why Makoto hadn't. "I got suspended from the swim program," Rin blurted out, he was sick of secrets. Haru's eyes widened in surprised as Rin pressed on, "I punched a teammate for… dredging up some painful things from Australia," Rin was not going to get into Anne and he knew Haru wouldn't dig or simply assume it was swimming related, "Makoto kindly offered to let me stay with him as things would be awkward for me at the dorm and because at first it was looking like I would be kicked off the program entirely. But," Rin explained, "When the guy I punched was taken to the hospital, they found out he was a drug cheat. So they are letting me off the hook with a week suspension and a warning because they just want to bury the story now."

"Oh," so that explained why the program management wanted him to come to tryout again out of the blue, thought Haru, "The program coordinators contacted me last week and told me to come for a time trial for today," Haru explained, "I didn't tell Makoto because I wanted to surprise him. I guess a number of swimmers are going to be kicked-out, suspended or otherwise dropped from the team and they are shot swimmers."

Rin was surprised, "You passed," it was not a question. Haru didn't bother answering. Well it was well and truly over now, Rin's time with Makoto that is, "I supposed you are going to stay with Makoto."

"I wanted to," admitted Haru, "But they said they aren't approving off-site accommodation for new swimmers. I have to report to the dorm sunday night, ahead of practice starting monday."

"Oh," as all Rin said. He himself was planning to return to the dorms on sunday. But he supposed Haru would prefer Rin return sooner rather then later. Rin sighed. Haru's only got here and he was already feeling like an unwanted third wheel. The rest of the trip was spent in somewhat uncomfortable silence.

Showing the pass that Makoto had left for Rin got them escorted to the viewing area of the shark tank. But they seemed to have arrived at a lull point in the shooting because while there were plenty of sharks, there was no Makoto to be seen in the tank. There were few of production crew members on laptops checking shots and videos as they were relayed from the camera's inside the tanks but nothing more.

Haru guessed correctly that the bulk of the action and Makoto, was in the area above the tanks. So, in typical Haruka fashion he simply located the nearest "employees only" door that had been jammed open so the production crew could enter and exit freely and simply walked in. "Haru!" Rin called, "You can't…"

"I want to see Makoto," Haru replied simply but determinedly.

For a moment Rin had an insight into what Haru must have been like as a toddler. He could just imagine Haru throwing tantrums until his favourite plaything was returned to him. Rin bet Makoto as a sweet child who just let Haru do whatever he wanted to him. Rin sighed and followed.

They got to the tank opening to find a scene of frantic activity. Couple of assistants had a pile of what looked like glow sticks near them and a few in each hand, it looked like they were going to throw them into the tank. Just as Rin had deduced this much, he heard someone say, "Get the glow sticks ready and cut the lights."

"Oh shit!" cried some else, "I forgot to tell him we were going to do that!"

Before Rin had time to even process what he just heard the room went dark save for the glow sticks and some emergency lights too faint to illuminate much. Rin was disorientated and blinked rapidly to adjust to the reduced illumination. Next to him he heard the chink of Haru's belt buckle hit the floor. He turned just in time to see Haru take-off in a run, pausing only to grab a glow stick before diving in.

"Turn the lights on!" someone screamed. But the lights didn't seem to come on as fast as they went off.

By the time they did, Haru had already brought Makoto to the surface. A pale scared Makoto who had Haru's hand in a vice grip, "Haru," he kept repeating, "Haru," like a mantra. Haru said nothing. Simply held on to Makoto's hand.

Rin got to the tank edge bodily pulled Makoto out, "The fuck Makoto," he was trying very hard not to yell, "You never told me you were going to be in a shark tank!" He helped Makoto settle on the floor since Makoto's legs were useless inside the fin and tail.

Makoto was breathing hard but was calming down. He finally settled when Haru climbed out of the tank and sat down next to him, "Sorry," he said forcing a grin, "Didn't want to worry you."

Haru didn't say a word but he didn't have to. Makoto didn't need words to understand Haru. "I am sorry Haru," he said sincerely, "I knew you would remember that the only reef display big enough for me to swim in was in the reef shark tank reef. So I didn't mention it. I didn't want you to worry either. Especially since I thought you would be in Iwatobi."

"You can thank Rin's hot temper," Haru said dryly after a moment. Makoto got it was meant to be a joke but he didn't really get it. Rin seemed to though and was glaring at Haru.

About then the assistant who had forgotten to tell Makoto what they were planning ran to him and started apologising. Makoto, predictably, just smiled and trying to reassure and calm her. It was not their place to say something. So both Haru and Rin held their tongue. But the look on their face was told a wholly different story.

"Are you alright?" asked the production director, coming-up to Makoto, "Was the tail damaged? Can you go again? We still need more shots."

Rin was about ready to punch someone because Makoto still looked so very pale. "Makoto," whispered Haru.

Makoto just turned and smiled at Haru, "It's fine, Haru," he said, "I am okay now. Especially since you are here," turning back to the director he replied, "I am fine and can go again but I haven't check the tail yet."

The tail was dutifully checked by the prop department. It was damaged but nothing that would mar the photos or video in a way that couldn't be corrected in post-production. After a short recovery, Makoto was made to dive again but in a small blessing, they had to abandon the glow sticks thing they were trying. Not because of Makoto but because no one had cleared it with aquarium staff and when they realised they were planning on toss glow sticks into the shark tank, they put their foot down.

"They don't care," it suddenly hit Rin, "Maybe if Makoto was a bigger star who couldn't be easily replaced or whose name carried weight, it would be different. But then again, I am the same. We both need to make it big before we are more than replaceable cogs," but even then, they were only irreplaceable while they were at their peak. Past their peaks... Rin shrugged the thought off. It was too early to be thinking of past their peak. What they needed to do now was to make sure their peaks were so lofty and high that people had to crane their heads really back to see it.

"Ah! I wish you could stay with me!" said Makoto, they were back at his apartment and having a very late meal since the shoot hadn't finished until 9 and even though Makoto had been offered and accepted a taxi by the production management, they still hadn't gotten in until very close to 10 PM. Rin was very glad he had cooked before leaving, if only because Makoto seemed to be really enjoying the food, "I wish you could both stay with me," he said.

"I didn't realise you enjoyed my cooking so much," Rin joked.

"Well I do love your cooking but that's not all," protested Makoto, "I like your company more than your cooking and your cooking is great!" he said. Rin blushed and couldn't help but chance a glance at Haru.

Haru wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. He was alternating between staring at his food and look at the wall where his sketches hung. He didn't say anything but Makoto smiled as he followed his gaze and said, "Tomorrow we'll go shopping for mackerels. I have some time before I have to go to the movie set and thanks for the sketches Haru-chan, they really help me."

Haru was surprised, "Help you, how?"

"They always fill me with energy and help me focus when I am feeling exhausted, homesick and stuff like that," Makoto answered readily. Haru smiled, Rin lost his appetite.

"I'll return to the dorm tomorrow," he said suddenly.

"Huh, why?" wondered Makoto.

"Your place is too small for all three of us, plus you only have two futons," Rin pointed out, suddenly wondering what the sleeping arrangement tonight was going to be.

"That's not a problem," replied Makoto, "Haru and I have shared futons before. We'll do that tonight and tomorrow we'll buy another futon while getting mackerels and anything else Haru needs," he said, "So you know, if you guys both decide to sleepover from time to time, I'll have enough bedding."

"Or we can just keep sharing," suggest Haru deadpan.

"Ah, won't you be uncomfortable?" wondered Makoto, "I mean, I sleep on my back and kind of take-up a lot of space."

"Doesn't bother me," said Haru.

"Okay then," said Makoto with a bright smile, "We'll share."

"Maybe I should return tonight or at least find a hotel and let you two have the room to 'catch-up'," suggested Rin, in a grouchy put-off tone.

"Huh?" Makoto was confused, "You mean catch-up on news or just talk more about how we have been keeping?" he asked innocently, "I don't think we'll be talking much. I mean, I am beat and Haru's probably tired from the time trials and everything else. I am pretty sure I am just going to be sleeping like a log."

Both Rin and Haru shot Makoto a look, "What?" wondered Makoto confused.

They gave-up and changed the subject, "Why don't you have mackerel?" wondered Haru.

"I am not going to cook fucking mackerel!" declared Rin, "I mean, forget mackerel, even tuna makes him sad!" said Rin, point towards Makoto.

Makoto smiled sheepishly. But Haru smiled brightly and said, "You missed me," it was obvious, something Haru wouldn't normally waste words saying but it refused to stay in, Makoto just smiled in reply, "Well I am here now, so we'll have mackerels everyday."

"Well maybe not everyday," said Makoto a little nervously, "Variety is good and Rin cooks delicious lamb."

"Who said I would be cooking again?" wondered Rin feeling unreasonably annoyed.

"Eh, but I would miss Rin's cooking," said Makoto simply, looking a bit sad. Haru kept poking at his food and frowning before resuming eating.

Rin gave-up, it was hopeless. He was hopelessly in love with Makoto and that was all there was to it. But, Rin realised, Haru wasn't hope less. In fact, it was the opposite. Haru was so confident in his bond with Makoto that Rin, or more accurately, Makoto's behaviour towards Rin didn't even register.

Further musing on Rin's part and all their meal was interrupted when someone banged loudly on the door, "Open-up Tachibana," came a voice neither Rin nor Haru recognised, but Makoto certainly did.

Author's note: sorry about the lame chapter.