Refusal

Punk left AJ's house and headed straight to Clara and Seth's. They were his only reassurance in all of this. He really didn't know what to do. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders when he seen her, yet somehow he felt heavier. He had no idea it would have affected her this way. He truly believed that such a strong, beautiful girl like her would have been able to move on past a stupid, no good, ratty boy like himself. He guess he never took into consideration just how strong their love was back then.

Clara let him into her and Seth's home, walking through into the living room where Seth had a crib in pieces in the centre of the room, instructions in his hands and a confused look on his face as Clara just smiled to her brother.

"Aren't you like… two weeks from your due date?" Punk asked Clara and then turned to Seth.

"It should only take me… an hour or so." He estimated as Punk just laughed, holding up a take out bag with chinese food in it, "I brought food." He announced as Seth threw the instructions away and took the bag from him, walking off into the kitchen as Punk laughed with Clara.

"Can you believe we're still together after seven years?" Clara joked as they headed into the kitchen.

"Sometimes I can." Punk nodded, "So I went and seen AJ." He said as both Seth and Clara paused, "Didn't go too well." He shrugged.

"Somehow I didn't think it would." Clara said. Over time, she'd gotten to know AJ more and more, and the more years that passed, the stronger her guard got around her. The only person she'd ever really let in was her, and even sometimes, she hid things from her.

"I don't know what she expects me to say." Punk sighed, "I told her I still care about her, which I do but… she constantly has the one up on me. Even if we did work things out, she'd constantly be able to say, you left me." He shook his head, "I know what I did hurt her, does she think I enjoyed leaving her?"

"I think she thinks she was naive and stupid to believe you were truly interested in her back then." Clara said.

"Well then she's just stupid." Punk shrugged. He couldn't help her out if she didn't realise he legitimately cared about her and loved her back then, more than anything.

"Was she surprised to see you?" Seth asked whilst sorting the Chinese food out. It was really great to have Punk back. Not that living with Clara had been nothing short of great, but he'd missed that boisterous behaviour he used to have with his friends. He'd missed it a lot.

"Yeah, I think she was." Punk nodded, "For a minute I thought she wasn't even gonna let me into her house." He admitted, "It was like she wanted to be happy I was there but was pulling herself away from it." He said, "She's still so beautiful." He sighed to himself. If anything she was even more gracious and perfect as before. She was a woman now. That tanned skin had got even more tanned somehow, her hair was still that thick, soft and bouncy way and her eyes, still so innocent despite the heartache.

"What are you gonna do now?" Seth asked as they took a seat at the kitchen table to enjoy the food Punk had brought, "You just gonna keep away from her or-"

"Do you want her back?" Clara questioned.

"I'd be a fucking idiot if I said no." Punk said, "Of course I want her back. I want to be the way we used to be, only this time I know just how precious she really is to me. Leaving her taught me that." He said.

"And what if she doesn't want you back?" Seth asked.

"Then what else am I meant to do? You're saying that as if I'm gonna force her to get back together with me." He said, "I'll just have to get on with my life. I knew coming back here wouldn't be a walk in the park with her."

"Personally… I think she just needs time, Phil." Clara said, "It's clearly a shock you're here. Saying she doesn't want to see you right now is unreliable. She'll be caught up in so many emotions after seeing you again. Don't take what she said today as her final word." Clara said.

"I just… I can't believe how ten months with that girl has changed my life forever. I knew the first year would be hard, but I thought it'd get easier, in time I would move on, you know?"

"Did you get with anyone else?" Seth wondered.

"Well I'm only human, Seth. C'mon." He smirked a little to his friend, "I did try and date a girl. I never expected to have what I had with AJ, so I thought I'd try it again but… it wasn't the same. I didn't imagine it ever would be." He said, "Has she been with other people?" Punk asked his sister.

"That isn't for me to say." Clara said.

"Oh, c'mon Clara." Punk sighed.

"Dude, she doesn't even tell me." Seth shook his head.

"April has gone through a lot. She has had no one. The one person she's had is me and I'm not abusing her trust. Alright?" She said as Punk and Seth just nodded, "Anyway, it isn't a discussion for me and you to have." She looked at her brother, "She'll come round. Just give her some time. I know deep down she still cares about you, it's just hard for her after everything that has gone on." She said as Punk just sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"When is Dean home? We need to hit the town." Punk admitted. He really wanted to go out with his buddy's like old times, just to try and erase his mind from everything that was currently going on.

"I uh… I don't know when he's home." Seth said.

"What do you mean?" Punk said.

"I don't know when he's coming back." Seth said as Punk just tilted his head, "You have a right to know-"

"A right to know what?" Punk asked.

"Dean left… not long after you did." Seth said, "Neither of us has heard from him since." He said.

"What?" Punk shook his head, "How do you even know he's alright? Did he say where he was going?" Punk panicked a little.

"He had a conversation with me before he left." Seth said, "He told me some things." He said, "And then he left. He promised me he'd be fine, and the only reason I didn't chase after him or tell him not to go, was because of what he'd told me. I thought it was for the best he got himself away for a bit. I just didn't realise he was gonna be away for so long." He said.

"What did he tell you?" Punk asked with confusion.

"Well… he sorta-" Seth paused, not knowing if he could really say this to Punk, "When you left, he gave AJ some comfort. I was trying to be tough on her, I didn't think hugging her and smothering her would help the situation, but clearly Dean did." He said, "They kissed." He said as Punk's nostrils threatened to twitch.

"He kissed AJ?" Punk said.

"AJ kissed him." Seth said, "But she pushed him away. I think they both felt so bad." Seth said as Punk just shook his head. He couldn't believe this. His best friend and the girl he'd never stopped loving? The girl he was crazy in love with and really documented that to both Dean and Seth.

"He knew I loved her." Punk shook his head in disgrace, "That's why he left, afraid I'd come back and kill him?" Punk shook his head. He was so mad with Dean, but a part of him was almost too tired to be angry about it.

"That's why he left." Clara jumped in before Seth could say anything else, nudging him under the table as Seth just turned to her, watching her eyes widen in signal not to say anything else.

"I still hope he's alright." Punk sighed, "Not even a phone call or anything from him?" He asked as they both just shook their heads.

Later that night, through no fault of his own, Punk fell asleep on the couch after dinner. A part of him wanted to, so he didn't have to go home to his lonely, cold apartment. So much was racing through his head that he was glad to have fallen asleep out of nowhere.

"Why wouldn't you let me tell him?" Seth whispered, standing at the living room door watching Clara shake out a blanket over her brother.

"Because don't you think he's dealing with enough?" Clara whispered back, taking her brother's hat off his head and sitting it over on the coffee table, walking out of the room and shutting the door over.

"He still needs to know." Seth said, "Unlike you, I'm not keeping it all from him." Seth said.

"I'm keeping things from him that aren't my right to tell him. AJ needs to talk to him." She said.

"And do you honestly think that in the state she's in, she's gonna tell him? That girl has issues." Seth said as Clara just shook her head.

"Seth, if you're gonna be like this then just stay down here." Clara spat, "I'm not gonna argue with you." She told him, heading up the stairs as Seth followed.

"Well it looks like my couch spot that I'd sleep on has been taken down here." He groaned, trailing up the stairs after her.

The next day, AJ had gone to work. She'd tossed and turned all night in bed just thinking about Punk. How much he'd changed yet stayed the same. She knew it was still that charming 22 year old she'd fell in love with all those years ago, he'd just grown up.

She wasn't sure what she was going to do. At the same time she wanted to talk to him and ask him how he'd been, tell her all the things she'd done whilst he was away, but then at the same time she wanted nothing to do with him from the fear of him hurting her the way he did the last time. Leaving her in such trouble and mess.

She done her normal morning routine, she got up and left her house, grabbed a coffee on her way and headed straight to work. That had been her life for the past six years. She hadn't a clue what to do now. Here this man she had fallen so deeply in love with had came back, why didn't she want to jump head first into his arms? Because he'd hurt her. Because he left her with no warning or civil conversation and had broken her heart, just about the one thing he promised he would never do. It had damaged her and she felt like she couldn't trust anyone again. Certainly not him again. Maybe this was what she needed to just move on. Seeing him in the flesh again.

Just as she was walking out of the coffee shop she'd gotten her coffee from, she bumped into Clara who had almost been waiting on her coming out.

"Hey." AJ smiled politely, "You aren't normally up this early." She chuckled a little as Clara smiled.

"I just… thought I'd come see you." Clara said.

"If it's about him, I don't want to talk about it." AJ said.

"You realise you're gonna have to tell him." Clara said, "You can't keep something like that from him." She shook her head.

"He wasn't there for me when it happened. He took off. He doesn't deserve to know." AJ shook her head, "I was prepared to sacrafice so much, and it was all because of him."

"Yeah, well you didn't in the end, did you?" Clara raised her eyebrows.

"I don't want to see him." AJ said, "There's nothing we have to say. Nothing I want to say. It's been seven years. I thought he would have just moved on."

"And that's what you want, is it?" Clara asked, "He still cares about you and loves you. Doesn't that mean anything?" She asked.

"Not anymore." AJ shook her head, "I don't want to see him. So could you let him know that. We were over a long time ago. Nothing will change." She said.

"April, I know you care-"

"What does that matter?" AJ snapped, "He still hurt me." She shook her head, "I don't want to see him, alright?" She said as Clara just stood silently, "If you don't mind, I have to go to work." She said, walking off as Clara sighed.

A/N: REVIEW and let me know what you think!