Danny lay in his bed at Mara watching dawns paint the horizon a beautiful golden red through a crack in his curtains. The sky was clear and magnificent as the suns rays spread its glory….too bad he found it hard to appreciate today. He had always loved the African mornings, the colours, the scent now he felt numb to it all, numb and cold and completely uncaring. To be honest he was finding breathing hard this morning. He closed his eyes, just a few hours ago he'd been holding Alice in his arms, kissing her sweet lips and now he was alone, Alice was gone and he didn't want to exist anymore.

Everything happened so fast after he realised that Alice was in the house at Leopards Den, the roof and veranda caved in, after that its blurry. Dupe had taken his arm and sat him in a truck then called someone, he assumed the fire brigade but he wasn't sure as his hearing seemed to stop working. That was twice in the same night they'd visited his land.

He rose from the bed and saw the clothes Caroline had placed there for him last night. Her eyes had radiated with sympathy and he knew Dupe must have told her about his house and about Alice... Alice with her endless blue eyes, soft black hair, lush full lips and quick sharp mouth. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw as grief hot and swift filled him. Tears filled his eyes, one slipped past his lids and he pushed his fists into his eyes to stem a further flow. The worst part of it all was that she had no idea how loved she was, he had said he cared and that she meant a lot to him but love? He'd been to afraid of her leaving him to be able to say that to her, not knowing that she would be leaving but not of her own volition.

He spotted his jeans across the room and saw they were black and burnt in places, his eyes scanned his body and he winced. He hadn't showered last night, just peeled his clothes off except his boxers and crawled into bed trying vainly to get some sleep, he said vainly as every time he closed his eyes he saw her in front of his eyes trying so hard to get out of the house and failing, then burning. A graphic violent image filled his mind and bile rose. He clapped a hand over his mouth before he retched, the moment passed and he glanced at the bed. He was going to have to apologise to Caroline for the state of her bed sheets, they were just as much a mess as he was. He picked up a towel from the pile and padded into the en suite bathroom. He turned on the shower and adjusted the dial. The quiet in his room was getting to him so he turned on the radio. The jolly music was worse then the quiet and he jerked the dial to another frequency. It was a newscast. That was fine, he had no desire to listen to any music anymore. It reminded him of the way Alice would dance around in the living room, her singing smooth and beautiful….God he wanted to hear her sing again.

He had just climbed in the shower and when there was a broadcast. 'Sometime in the early hours of this morning two fires broke out in a secluded area of land in Glen Afric. It is believed that one of those was a house fire. Investigators are at the scene and sources believe that there are no suspicious circumstances. There is at least one suspected fatality, identity unknown as of yet.'

He clenched his fists and placed them of the cold tiles and lowered his head. He turned the shower up hotter until it burned his skin. It should be painful but he couldn't feel it. It was something else that reminded him of her. The time she needed him to turn the pilot light on the boiler, he tried to make her say please and she called him a prat instead grinning cockily. She always did that, she never backed down, she made him smile, she gave his life meaning again in a way and now she…. He climbed from the shower soap running from his head into his eyes. He was unable to stand the memories anymore. He had to get out of this empty room now!

He towelled off and wrapped it around his waist, caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were sunken, cheeks hollow and even with the African summer he was deathly pale. To be honest he looked ill. He disregarded the image and walked to the chair which held the clothes Caroline brought. He tossed two t-shirts aside which were blatantly too small and pulled on the largest. It was snug over his chest and not as long as he'd like but it would so. Somehow Caroline had managed to find a pair of sweatpants that fit, unfortunately he only had his boots so he made a mismatched set. Funny when you didn't own the clothes on your back and yet still you didn't care. Before that would have drove him mad!

He bent down to lace up his boots and remembered the last conversation he had with Alice while doing this very task. He asked her to stay home with she was safe isn't that the biggest irony? He wanted her to be safe, he'd wanted her to go to Mara too, not realising that she probably had no idea how to get there in broad daylight never mind in the dark! He was too concerned about getting out of the house to protect his property then protecting her, he had disregarded her safety! He had always promised that no harm would come to her as long as he was around and he had failed her badly! He got up onto his feet and pounded his fist into a wall, he felt a crack and pain shafted up his hand. He closed his eyes filled with equal parts guilt and grief, sat down to somehow lace his boots. His right hand was no useless so he did the best he could tying the laces into knots and pushing the surplus bits down the sides of his boots.,

He left his room and walked into the dining area, poured himself a cup of coffee. Cast and crew were all around helping themselves to food from the buffet style breakfast. Porters came to and fro carrying metal pans filled with more food. He settled on a table in a corner his hand throbbing. He'd been there for ten minutes contemplating life without her when Austin walked in with a woman. She looked at him and saw the sadness in his eyes, he didn't know why but she headed for him. "Are you ok?"

He nodded without even looking at her.

"You sure? I can get the owners, you don't look good."

"Lucy leave him, he's alright, aren't you Danny?" Austin said putting an arm around her possesively.

Danny looked at the man he loathed, Alice may have made her peace with him but Danny certainly hadn't…..Alice…..

"So c'mon Lucy let me get you some breakfast."

She looked at Austin. "But he might need help."

"Alice will help him." he told her. "Unless they had a fight." he looked at Danny. "Want me to have a word?"

Danny gave him a dark look.

"Luce go sit down while we talk man to man. I'll bring your food over." and smiled charmingly.

The woman melted, Danny forgotten she obediently went to her seat. "Now that is the way to handle woman Danny. I understand that you probably don't have as many attributes as me but Alice is a woman after all and all woman are the same. A smile, a loving glance…." he wiggled his eyebrows.

Danny's eyes narrowed at his low estimation of Alice, she wasn't like all women, she was one of a kind! "Get away from me Austin. Now!"

"Look Danny I am trying to help you. It's not my fault you can't handle her. Then again she seems the type. Headstrong, flightly, hard to control."

"Go away…." Danny warned barely holding on to the temper that was simmering. His voice shook with intensity.

"Tell you what I will have a word. She seemed to like you and she deserves to be happy after everything, obviously she didn't make up her stalker like most of us believed…..

Danny hit his limit and grabbed the man by his collar and pinned him against a wall. "What part of leave me alone don't you understand? I have told you twice but you didn't listen!" he was shaking with anger. "And don't you talk about Alice. You know nothing about us, nothing!"

Austin looked at him wide eyed and fearful at the almost feral look in his eyes.

"Trevanion!" Dupe commanded from behind him.

Dupes voice seemed to break his haze, he was holding Austin's shirt so tight his hand was throbbing. He released him and took a step back.

Austin straightened his shirt and said loud enough for everyone to hear. "You're lucky you didn't hit me!" in that superior arrogant tone. Everyone was watching now with baited breath hoping Danny sorted him out.

Danny was past caring about anyone and anything now. He flung a tight fist at Austin and hit him in the centre of his face. His nose just exploded spewing blood all down his face. As Austin moaned Danny turned on his heel and walked off. Colin halted him.

"What the hell was that?" Colin exclaimed. "You just assaulted the star of my film!"

Danny ignored what he said. "I'm telling you now, get your stuff and your people off my land!"

"You have no grounds to break a contract based on a spat between you and Alice." Colin replied.

"I mean it, get off my land or else!" Danny's voice cold and menacing, he sounded like a stranger even to himself.

Dupe went up to him. "Look man go up to your room and I'll get Caroline to bring some breakfast up."

"I don't want breakfast, I'm going home."

"Danny that isn't a good idea and you know it!" Dupe advised.

"Shut it Dupe I'm going!" and Danny stomped off again.

Colin stared at Danny's back as Dupe rubbed his face. "You need to get him in line Mr Du Plessis, he has no right to attack people and trying to break a contract he voluntarily signed is out of order!"

"No one has told you yet? Then again why would they?" Dupe murmured to himself. "There was a fire at Danny's last night."

"I know a bush fire."

"And Danny's house. He's lost everything. He's not thinking straight, he's not himself right now."

"I assume Alice is here too, is she unharmed?"

"He lost everything." Dupe said gravely putting emphasis on the final word.

Colin's eyes widened. "You mean she was IN the house while it burned?"

"Its very likely." Dupe told him. "He arranged for her to come here but for whatever reason that didn't happen. Her guard was out cold and the house went down when we arrived. No sign of Alice anywhere."

Colin collapsed into his chair his hand over his mouth. A few of the cast members were in tears, even Austin who was trying to stem the flow of blood looked ashen.

"So like I said Danny isn't himself, he's reacting to all this emotionally. He's had no time to process what has happened, no time to grieve and I doubt he even slept last night. He's hurting right now more than any of us knows. So give him a break."

With those final words he left Colin and went after Danny. Found him yelling at a receptionist.

"I said give me some keys to a truck!" he demanded face red.

"Look Mr Trevanion…." the poor girl was was pale and on the verge of tears.

Danny the most sensitive and gentle man Dupe knew didn't know he was so enraged.

"Gilly go grab yourself some breakfast and a cup of tea yeah?" Dupe told her gently.

She nodded and hurried off. Dupe rounded the reception and picked up a set of keys. "You're an asshole at times Trevanion!"

"Give me the keys Du Plessis!" Danny hissed.

"No."

"I SAID GIVE ME THE KEYS!" he roared so loud even the birds flew off.

Dupe shook his head.

"Fine, I'll hot wire the damn thing!" and left the room in search of the garage.

Dupe followed Danny and halted him just as he was about to climb in a truck. "You have no right treating people like that. Gilly was doing her job and she was almost in tears! You punched Austin, you will no doubt end up arrested and Colin will be filing a lawsuit for breach of contract."

Danny turned to face him. "Do I look like I care? About Gilly? About prison? About being sued? About the fact my house burned down taking all of my possession with it? I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING!"

"What about Alice?" Dupe asked quickly.

A shadow passed across Danny's face and a muscle began to tick uncontrollably in his jaw. "Give me the keys Dupe!" he warned.

"Danny someone you love has just died, allow yourself time to grieve. Go back to your room…."

"I need to go to the bank and order new cards, I need clothes, I need to sort out the insurance for my house, I have animals in my surgery."

"You are no fit state to be doing any of that!" Dupe retorted.

"Don't try to tell me anything Dupe, you don't know me!" and pulled free. Managed to climb in a truck.

Dupe settled in the passenger seat. "Danny I'm trying to help, this isn't you man. You need some sleep, I know you haven't had any. We got in at 3am, its now 7."

"I need to go Dupe, I need to go home!"

"What home Danny? Its gone, there's nothing left! You think going back there is going to help you? Going to bring her back? There is nothing either of us can do Danny. I'm sorry but its true and treating people like you are will only make it worse for you in the long run."

Images of the fire and Alice and the house filled his mind. Her laughing face, her angry glittering eyes, her slow silent tears and the fact he'd never see any of that filled his head circling his mind and he couldn't contain it any longer. "What am I going to do Dupe?" he whispered as tears filled his eyes. "I didn't want to like her never mind lover her!" the pain in his chest was almost crushing. A sob burst from him and seconds later his face was covered by his hands and he was crying harder than Dupe had ever seen. Dupe didn't hesitate, he pulled the man close to him and held him tightly, patting his back.

"I loved her Dupe." he moaned. "And I never told her."

Dupe didn't say a word, they just remained like this for a while, Danny feeling like his whole body was coming apart. His tears gradually subsided and he realised who was hugging him.

"You needed that release man." Dupe told him. "It's the first step."

Danny wiped his eyes on the sleeve on his t-shirt.

"I'll send my vet over to sort the surgery. You need to go to bed. After that do what you need to, telephone the bank. Tell Caroline your size and I'm sure she won't mind going to get you some clothes."

"Dupe I can't sleep, its too hard. Let me go to my surgery. Your vet can do it all, I just need to find some semblance of normality at the minute and my animals give me that, they give me stability."

Dupe's back lowered. "Come to my kitchens and I'll sort you something to eat and drink, you can take it with you but you have to promise and try to eat it and then you can have the keys."

Danny nodded.

They climbed out of the car and headed for the kitchens.

Dupe insisted on accompanying Danny to Leopards Den. He took him no where near the house, turning towards the surgery as soon as he could. Danny still saw it, what was left of it anyway. There were trucks around it, a sign proclaiming them as the fire investigation teams. They seemed just to be wandering around aimlessly to Danny. The truck stopped at the entrance of the surgery and he jumped out and walked inside. The image of his house being Alice's burned coffin was making him feel light headed and ill, as he entered the surgery he didn't get the same feeling of contentment he usually did, but there was some solace and that was all he wanted. Some relief from the burning pain he felt.

"You can go Dupe." Danny told him softly.

"Danny…."

"I just need to be alone for a little while." he murmured as soft as before.

Dupe nodded in understanding and patted his arm then left leaving Danny alone in his surgery. Danny firstly looked in in his animals feeding and dispensing medication. Cory the baby lion was at Mara at the moment, his cage standing empty. Even here he couldn't escape the memories of Alice, her awe at his operating table, her uncontrollable happiness when she fed the baby lion, her shyness at asking if she could name the cub after her nephew. Her poor little nephew who didn't even know that his auntie Alice wouldn't be able to tend to his cuts and bruises again or give him a gentle kiss to make it all better. God how was he supposed to get over her when everywhere he looked there was ghostly images of her haunting him. He closed his eyes and exhaled, a line from a song fitting his mood perfectly,

'Without you I'm a disaster.' that's how he felt right now. She kept him grounded, she made him laugh and she mended his heart and helped him to love again. And he'd never told her.

It only took an hour to get all his chores in the surgery done. After that there wasn't much else for him to do. Call outs were suspended due to filming. He supposed he could get them going again now, it was impossible for the film to be finished now that the star wasn't here anymore….god the way he said that was like she just left, no, this was far more permanent.

He went into his office and found an old shirt of his hanging off the back of the chair. He took off the t-shirt and pulled on his shirt. He was about to call then bank when he saw his wallet lying on the floor by the computer. He couldn't remember losing it. He picked it up and sat down in his chair opening it to find the two pictures of him and Alice taken at family day. He stared at them wanting so badly to be able to smile and remember her without gut wrenching pain. He was no where near being there yet, he didn't know if he ever would be. Hopefully one day, but he wasn't holding his breath. He touched her smiling face gently missing her so much he was almost in physical pain.

A knock on the door broke his thoughts, so he buttoned his shirt and opened the door. "Hi?" a fire investigation team member stood at the door.

"We would like to share some preliminary findings with you, you are Danny Trevanion?"

"Yeah, I'm Danny." he said in monotone.

"Well the fire was started deliberately, there are scorch marks around the walls which indicate accelerants were used and we have one confirmed fatality as remains were found, people will be around later as all the house haven't been searched fully yet."

Danny nodded. "Thank you."

"Paperwork will be sent confirming everything I have said."

Danny exhaled and the man left. First the radio and now the man said in face to face, one confirmed fatality. His beautiful Alice. Why? He had to go up to the house he had to see it. He left the surgery and walked up there slowly. As he came closer he saw the destruction, he had no roof, it was gone. The walls were a blackened mess. The front door was burnt away only hinges left, he looked inside and all he saw was black. There wasn't an inch of his house that the fire hadn't touched in some way. He shook his head and walked to his right, saw the study window smashed. The roof of the veranda lay in pieces on the floor.

He wanted to go inside and start clearing up, as soon as his house was back to normal he could try and find some sort of routine but at the moment he was in limbo unable to move on due to the ever present reminder. Another reason he didn't want to go in was because the fire investigation team was still searching. What if they hadn't recovered all of her yet? What if he unintentionally stood on her? I mean they had one confirmed fatality and he thought they may have took her but still.

He knew it was her, and he knew it was her stalker who did it. No doubt he set the fire and got the hell out of there, that was the bastards style. If he were here Danny wouldn't hesitate in killing him, slowly, painfully. He needed retribution not justice. Justice wouldn't bring her back, neither would retribution but at least with the latter he would feel better, feel like he did something instead of leaving her in the house alone to die. At that final thought he felt a burst of rage so intense it had to be released and he kicked a stone, it skidded into a far away bush.

He looked in that direction and squinted, was it just him or was there something back in those bushes? Upon closer inspection he realised he could see red too. As he walked closer his heart almost clean stopped in his chest when he saw the outline of a body. Thick glossy black hair, beautiful pale skin….he ran to her knelt down and pulled her as gently as he could from under the bush. He put her back down and she lay face down on the ground unmoving. Her turned her over, his heart pounding in his chest so hard he felt like it was about to burst as he checked her pulse. He found it faint but there and felt tears fill his eyes. She was ok, she was alive! He picked her up ignoring the ache in his hand as he carried her down to the surgery. He kicked the door open and lain her gently on the operating table moving her hair our of her face almost reverently. He ran to the office requested an ambulance at his surgery then he snagged some water Dupe had gave him. When he returned to her he sat on the table and rested her head on his knee. Began to trickle water into her mouth. A lot of it ended up down her chin but some of it she swallowed and the more she drank the more hope began to build. He would feel better if she would wake, but she didn't. He ran his hand down her cheek.

"You're ok now Alice." he whispered and kissed the top of her head. "I promise you'll be ok. Just hang on until the ambulance gets here."

A/N well alice didn't die ad danny admitted (to himself and dupe) that he loved her, there is some definate possibilities here...if alice wakes up Keep reading i have a festice chapter planned and i like it lol
(For those of you who thought i'd kill her, anyone who reads my stories should know by now ppl very rarely die lol, im incapable of killing ppl off lol)
PS merry belated xmas to you all xxx