Tangle of Thorns

Chapter 20

"Do you hate me, Emmett?"

"What? No, Rose, I– You know I love you."

Laying beneath the outstretched branches of an old tree, like children in a cradle, a pair of lovers enmeshed in each other's arms. Emmett rubbed Rosalie's hair soothingly, saying quietly, "Rose... I don't need children or a beating heart... I'm happy with what you have given me; what you gave me so many years ago and have given me ever since. This is everything I could want."

He almost thought his stone heart thrummed when the angel in his arms whispered, "You don't think I'm a monster then. You don't feel like I've taken away a greater opportunity... for life beyond the grave?"

"Rosalie," Emmett murmured into her hair, "This is my eternal life beyond the grave."

Edward knew he was unhealthy. He liked to think that his body was adjusting, but he had been to medical school before, and he did remember, though vaguely, how it felt to be a healthy teenage boy. It didn't feel like this.

Edward ached everywhere in the mornings; and in the nights, if he were being honest, he absolutely shook with pain. He walked through their home with the straight back and steady stride of a man in good sorts, but he was anything but.

He had hoped, for awhile anyway, that a sensible front would be enough to keep his family's suspicions at bay. What he forgot, somehow, was that with their noses and ears and in some cases extra sensory abilities, they could easily discern what lie beneath the exterior.

"Are you alright?" Carlisle asked one day, concern etched across his perfect, smooth forehead.

"I'm fine," Edward murmured in response, trying not to sound short or defensive.

"There's something a little off about your scent," Carlisle suggested meaningfully. "Perhaps we should run a few quick tests."

"No," Edward replied shortly. "That won't be necessary. I'm fine."

"I just want to make sure you're ok," Carlisle told him in a light, sensitive tone.

"I assure you I'm quite alright," Edward said in the most polite manner he could dignify. Standing quickly, he swept from the room. If it wasn't with the animalistic litheness of an immortal creature who walked the earth at night and day, at least it was with all the dignity and grace of a man who'd been raised in an upper class Chicago home in the early 1900s. Which, all things considered, may have been the best way for Edward to leave Carlisle.

She stood beneath the trees behind their sprawling home. The rain beat at her, and the wind was merciless and cold against her skin. But she was little more than an unnoticed rock.

No one had noticed her when she was alive; she had hated the world for it.

And no one noticed her now, but it was the one thing that made her so valuable to the one who had hired her.

She watched them leave one by one and in groups throughout the day. One of the men was always at the hospital. He seemed to work there.

Many others were hunting for the weekend.

It left only the tragically beautiful blonde in the house. And the human she had been sent to find. She could wait, though. Now wasn't the time. She would know it, when it came.

Rosalie felt vicious, but only because, sometime between now and the moment she had felt her palm connect with Bella's face, she had realized that she loved Edward. He had been her brother too long for that to change out of jealousy. And perhaps, there wasn't much to be jealous of. She realized that no matter what had happened in the past, she had never felt as worried for her family as she did now.

"You shouldn't let her make you feel this way," Rosalie told him, her voice coloured with frustration.

"She doesn't," Edward said bleakly. "I do it myself."

He sighed, and looked away.

"I used to think it would be so great," he said, and trailed off.

The house was quiet. Edward's hand rested gently upon the doorknob, and his eyes were distant. Rosalie reached out to touch his elbow, but changed her mind and dropped her arm to her side. She felt her brow wrinkling up as he continued.

"I was convinced I would be so much happier. But now, aside from Bella, I'm so..."

He didn't finish his sentence, instead turning his deep, unfathomable gaze on her. Rosalie wondered what word filled that blank, searching her brother's face for the answer, and thought that maybe she found it.

He sighed, a frustrated sound.

"So here I am, human at last," he muttered. Rosalie shivered when he reached up and brushed the back of his hand and his warm, soft knuckles against her cheek. His lips turned up, but it was a timid, heartbreaking image, and his next words seemed more quiet than the grass as it grows. "I long to be like you, sis."

He turned away, pushing the door open and heading out into the night. Rosalie was immobile. The door almost clicked completely shut before she followed him, stopping on the bottom step where the rain splashed her face.

"Like what, Edward?" she called angrily after him. "Like dead?"

Edward swivelled slowly around to look at her, and though the pounding rain only emphasized the distance between them, she still heard his every whispered word, and every nuance of his indifferent tone.

"Dead? No, that can't be right." He shrugged in return to the desperate, questioning look she felt flit across her face, still smiling that same, worn smile. "I'm not grieving for you, am I?"

She held her breath as she watched his solitary figure retreat into the darkness. Rosalie reached up to press her fingers to the spot he had touched, but the warmth was already gone. She remembered his unfinished sentence.

"Oh, Edward," she murmured. The rain felt like tears running down her skin.

"You're not alone."

When Edward showed up at Bella's house, his mood was off.

"What's wrong?" she asked, taking his jacket and ushering him inside, to the kitchen where it was warmer.

"Rosalie..." he said in a peculiar tone.

Bella froze. Had Rosalie told Edward about the conversation they'd had? Sometimes Bella regretted the things she said. Other times... she felt someone needed to say it. Best it was her, she supposed. Rosalie already hated her, anyway. Bella forced herself to look questioningly into Edward's face, but he only shrugged.

"She's worried," he told her, and his tone and face were distracted. With a frown, he added, "They all are."

Bella breathed deeply. "Are you?"

Edward's eyes snapped out of their unfocused stare. They locked gazes.

Finally, he whispered, "yes. I am."

Bella leaned forward to kiss his lips, and though he went through the motions of putting his arms around his waist and dipping his head toward hers, she felt distinctly as if somehow, she wasn't being kissed back.

Bella was distracted when Jasper showed up the next day. Her thoughts were on Edward and his behaviour the night before. He had left very soon after he'd shown up. He had been distant, and... Bella shrugged to herself and sprinkled comet across the tub's surface. It was about time she got some cleaning done.

She hated that she felt rejected. Edward was going through a hard time, and he had his reasons for doing what he did.

She knew that, but she couldn't help the way she felt. She could, however, try to distract herself.

"Hello?" Jasper's voice drifted up from downstairs. He sounded worried.

Bella wiped the sweat from her brow and darted down the stairs.

"Hey Jasper, what's up?"

"I came to get Edward, but I see he isn't here."

"No, he hasn't come by all day."

Jasper's expression was one of extreme distress. "But he's been gone for hours... You haven't spoken to him? He could be anywhere."

"He probably just needed some time alone to think, Jasper," Bella soothed. "He seemed upset yesterday, so I bet he's just searching for some peace and quiet."

"Still, he shouldn't be wandering about alone," Jasper fretted. "It's dangerous."

Bella could only laugh, remembering Edward having similar reactions when he had still been a vampire.

"He might be at his meadow," she offered. "Do you know where that is?"

"I– no. But I know the general direction. I'm sure I can find it... Thank you, Bella."

"No problem, Jasper," Bella told him, a little worried herself as she wondered if even Edward could find the meadow anymore.

It wasn't a sunny day, but there were no clouds in the sky. Jasper picked up Edward's scent easily enough once he was several hundred yards into the woods. It appeared Edward had come from another direction and wandered off to the east. Jasper followed the scent at a break neck pace, terror seeping through him. His own terror.

What if Edward was hurt? What if–? He heard two sets of heart beats, and burst through the clearing to find Edward and a young native boy staring at him as if they'd been expecting him. Jasper recognized the boy as one of the wolves, but one he'd never been introduced to outside his wolf form. He couldn't be sure, but he guessed it must be Seth.

Jasper sagged in relief as he approached them.

"You had us worried," he accused.

Edward sighed. "I can handle being outside the house on my own for ten minutes, Jasper."

"You've been gone for hours, and no one knew where you were... I know you can handle yourself, but you could at least tell us where you're going."

Seth– was it Seth?– was snickering quietly throughout the exchange.

"Oops," he joked, "I forgot to call your babysitter and ask for permission for us to have a play date."

"Get stuffed," Edward muttered, but he smiled, and though Jasper could sense his annoyance, it seemed to be dissipating slowly.

He settled down on the ground in front of them and they resumed their conversation. Jasper grinned. Music, of course, Edward's passion. He was trying to impress upon Seth the wonders of indie rock, but Seth stuck stubbornly by older classics.

They were cut off by the terrible howling of a wolf in the distance.

Seth sat upright immediately, listening intently, perhaps analyzing the tone, translating the pitch when to Jasper it sounded like every other howl he'd ever heard.

"Is everything alright?" Edward asked concernedly. "Nothing's happened?"

Seth had his head cocked to the side, but grinned foolishly after a moment.

"Nah, it's just Leah. Dinner's ready."

Edward laughed. "Well, don't let us keep you from your food," he teased as he settled back into the grass, resting his elbows on the ground.

Seth bounded away, waving over his shoulder. When he disappeared into the woods, Jasper heard him shucking his pants and then the telltale boom of the phase.

After a moment's silence, Edward laid back completely on the ground, staring at the clouds above. He closed his eyes, smiling serenely. That was fine. Jasper had nothing against Edward wanting to do anything his heart desired, as long as Jasper was there to make sure he was safe.

Bella shuddered in horror as she stared down into the toilet bowl. Blood. Blood and something that looked like tissue. Covering her hands with her face, as if she could hide her tears from what might have been her child, she reached over and flushed it down.